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ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complex's are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.

>Frog
Also piss off.
>>
Women, how do you take your coffee? Just polling.
>>
>>16438185
I don't like coffee. It tastes awful and it's highly addictive. You'd have to be a literal moron.
>inb4 tea lovers pls go.
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>>16438185

Black. Like my men.
>>
>>16438185
I like a medium roast coffee with one teaspoon of powdered cream and one teaspoon of sugar.
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>>16438185
Not a fan. When I was little my parents would let me have coffee with milk and sugar. But I would upend the sugar pourer we had and count to 50+, leaving a large amount of undissolved sugar at the bottom. I've tried nice quality coffee with various normal levels of milk and sugar since and I just don't like the taste. Hot chocolate is my warm drink of choice.
>>
Lately every time I see her, she gets more and more beautiful

Is this love?
>>
Men: As a boyfriend, what would you do if one of your female friends showed a clear dislike for your longterm girlfriend? But your girlfriend isn't a psycho, your female friend just doesn't click with her.

Currently in this situation and my boyfriend just sits back because he doesn't want to lose me or his friend. I don't know how to act and don't know how he should act. Also, female friend is married, doesn't seem like she's after boyfriend. She just acts strangely protective and loves to say we're not right for each other, and appears angry at our successful. She also seems to like to talk shit about me or try to get a rise out of me.

Is there a point where a man should step in on this? She already doesn't like me, so there's no point for me to even try to stop her.
>>
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Fem anons I got herpes,

Confirm to me that none of you will ever love me again
>>
>>16438207
I tend to think all physical attraction is infatuation not love. Unless you mean her personality, presence, and other aspects are beautiful. Maybe that could be love.

I dunno, the feeling of love has always been complex.
>>
>>16438195
Wow, I've never seen another woman besides my sister who doesn't like coffee. I don't either, for the same reasons.
Everyone seems to be addicted to that shit.
>>
Girls:
If you hung out with a guy a bunch of times almost four years ago but fell out of contact and then the guy messages you and asks to catch up and get coffee would you want to?
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>>16438215
Giggle every time she says something mean. Bitches hate that.
>>
>>16438207

I remember a similar question from the last thread that I thought was particularly sweet:

>16434557
>I find a good way to know you're in love is when you're having an awesome fucking time with your friends, then you go to the bathroom or something and start to miss him. Or you're all laughing and making jokes, then you check your phone and see he's texted "goodnight" and you wish you were there snuggling

>>16438215
It depends on who the female friend was. If it was my best friend, I'd feel pretty sad about it because they're a pretty important part of my life. Ultimately I would feel like I'd just have to keep them apart and it would probably bum me out (fortunately--potentially unfortuantely?--I have the exact opposite situation where my best friend and gf probably talk more than we do now haha)

But if it were a random acquaintance tier friend, I wouldn't care and would just silence any remarks with a disapproving look (I've got one of those faces where you know if you've earned one of those, you know you REALLY fucked up).

>Is there a point where a guy should step in on this?
Once again t depends on the friend, and your boyfriend, but I'm also going to say that if your BF's friend is letting her directly insult you to your face, that is a line too far in my opinion, and one I would have zero tolerance for; but I'm also kind of a stern looking/acting guy sometimes--especially when it comes to disrespect--so take that with a grain of salt.
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>>16438195
>tastes awful
Well, that's an opinion. I've loved the taste of coffee since I was young. Was introduced to it at a young age because family is from Europe and drinks coffee after each meal. Then again, I don't really like sweet things, and love the taste of "weird" things, so..

Don't see how it makes someone a moron. I could see it moronic if someone is obsessed with buying a 4 dollar coffee from starbucks twice a day and taking a picture of it for social media. But to just enjoy coffee? Doesn't make someone a moron.
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>>16438237
I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a Class V manipulator. That would just give her reason to call me insane. I feel like any move I make, she will just find a reason to make fun of me for it.

Been dealing with this for five years. If I say anything, she tells my boyfriend I'm jealous of her. Once we were hanging out together. She got drunk, turned into a mess (this was when she was engaged), and tried to be all over my boyfriend in front of me. I was disgusted, boyfriend was telling her she's a wreck and we dropped her ass off at home. Assuming she was too drunk, she didn't remember any of this. And has been crying to boyfriend that I haven't liked her since. We have never told her how she was acting that night, considering she has a fiancee, we didn't want to get involved. And since then, she has acted like she's victimized by me.
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>>16438239
They've been fairly close friends for about 15 years, since middle school. When they were about 14 years old and underage drinking, they hooked up once, and never spoke of it again. (We've all known each other since high school, but I never was her friend)

We don't hang out all together anymore, but my boyfriend hangs out with her every few months, often with her husband too, and she still likes to talk shit about me. On social media she will occasionally comment with cattiness if my boyfriend and I are commenting to eachother on something shared, usually something like "OMG remember the time we had an exactly the same scenario, and it was sooo fun! Lol we had such good times together*winky face*"

So like, it's not blatant insulting, but like it's obviously directed towards me?
>>
>>16438185
If you're just poling, I'll answer for how I know my gf likes it. And I quote:

"Black as night, and sweet as sin."

She's a massive fan of properly done lattes and latte art though. She has specific cafe's she likes to go to because their barista's compete in the world latte art championships (p.s. amusingly, my captcha was Drinks, and it was two lattes haha)
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>>16438233
People are addicted to taking pictures of themselves, Twitter, sex, masturbation. Addiction is literally everything.

Anyone who calls themselves a "coffee addict" is usually a self proclaimed moron. Most people don't drink a cup in the morning because they have to, but because they like waking up to a hot beverage.
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To keep it simple:
>Girl sees me as a cute guy, I think the girl is attractive
>Both are clearly looking for a relationship
>Listed out what we both want: cuddly, loyal, honest, funny
>All that's left is for us to go on our first date

How exactly do I not fuck up the first date, femanons? I got the personality and the looks; the issue is that I feel like I'd freeze up face to face with her and not be at my best in terms of expressing myself/keeping her entertained.
>>
>>16438265
No, I'm talking about actual addicts.
They'll never reject an offer for coffee, drink four cups in a row. I used to know a lot of these folks.
They probably considered it normal.
>>
>>16438270
Don't act too different from yourself. It's one thing to be shy and its understandable, it;s another to act like Mr. CoolGuy and completely opposite from what you've talked about before.

Had this with a guy once. Once we started dating, he tried treating me like a PUA would. I felt disgusted and played. We stopped talking. He hit me up a few years later and tried to explain, said he was so nervous that that was the only attitude he could express when we started dating.
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>>16438240
if you like the taste, get decaf.
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>>16438276
Got it, I won't go full PUA and try to be Mr. Suave. That'd just be weird in general. Shyness though for a guy isn't as cute and attractive as it is for a girl. So I just need to be myself; but a bit more confident and flirty than normal. I dunno, flirting with girls always feels like I'm trying to defuse a bomb.
>>
>>16438244
Well then if she says something, ask her "is something wrong, anon?"
Like act genuinely concerned. Actually, be genuinely concerned.
Do it away from people so she doesnt think you're just doing it for show.
Say something like, "Are you and (her boyfriend) doing okay? You seem to be angry as of late. Or is stress at work a problem or something?"
Just some bullshit. You could even add "Me and (your boyfriend's name) have noticed it."
>>
How often should a guy stay in touch out of person with a girl? What if they're close? What if they're dating? What if they're bf/gf?

I don't want to impose and cling, but I don't want to end up out of the picture either.
>>
Hi thread, I just wanted to say thanks for the advice in the last thread... I asked my bf more seriously about him letting me date girls and he said he definitely doesn't care 'as long as it's just girls'. Yay
>>16438185
I don't like coffee much. I let it cool down and then chug it for caffeine, so additives are pointless.

Unless it's like... espresso turned into a latte. Delicious. But you didn't ask about espresso.
>>
>>16438279
I also like the jump in the morning. Doesn't mean I'm an addict. Why are you so concerned with people's life choices?

I'm assuming you don't treat people who drink a can of coke with their meal this way.
>>
Guys: whats the appeal of redheads?
Why every guy I meet is obsessed with them?
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>>16438307
Could be a Mormon who also hates Coke drinkers and children of gay couples.
>>
>>16438309
because it's rare. I guess it somehow makes a woman more unique.
>>
>>16438309
Is it really every guy? I don't think any of my friends are into them quite like I am.

I dunno, I just like the look on some women. It's not universal. Most of my exes would have looked very odd with red hair. It just so happens that when it works, it looks really good to me.
>>
>>16438307
>16438307
My boyfriend drinks waaay too much soda.
I fucking hate it.
He is down to only drinking one a day(I know, ONLY one?)
Its getting better though. He gets caffeine withdraw and is really cranky. After about two days with none.
I tried to ease it with caffeine pills, but it doesnt like it.
Also, I just dont t hink coffee is great tasting, most of my original post was to be silly, hence the >inb4.
its like you've never been on 4chan.
>>
My parents are reallllllly against me marrying my gf of 3 years because she's 9 years older than me. How do I get them to accept it's happening?
>>
>>16438250

Eh, well being a dude--as enlightened, empathetic, and forward thinking as I try to be when it comes to gender differences, I'm a bit at a disadvantage when it comes to the nuances of female to female relations.

But I'm going to go ahead and take a shot in the dark and say that this sounds like something you two need to hash out if you can.

This sounds like either a personal pride problem (oops I fucked up, and I'm going to displace my embarrassment by being mean) or a jealousy problem.

You need to know which one this is.

If it's the former, that should probably be an easy fix if you can talk, hash things out, and let her know you didn't at all take it seriously and weren't threatened (not being female, the exact approach is a little beyond me, but don't be catty. Extend the olive branch and lay it out. You know she is important in his life, and you love him very much, so you hope you can work whatever tension is between you two, and be friendly, if not friends, for his sake. Be earnest and sincere.)

But if it's jealousy, just rise above and write her off because apparently she's still a 12 year old.

Anyway, while none are female, I do have close friend's since middle school and so I do understand the loyalty and dynamic that happens when you've known each other for that long and have become embedded in each others lives. It raises the tolerance level of the things you're wiling to put up with by quite a bit.

Talk to your boyfriend about it, and see if he can try and help you patch things up or ask how he sees it. If she's as important to him as my friends are to me, he'll probably be glad to see you're trying to make an effort to get along. If nothing else, you score brownie points.

I'm guessing you're all about my age (mid to late 20's+). You're starting to be at that time where all that teen drama B.S. is behind you, and taking the mature route is easier because most people are willing to go there if give them a chance (ideally anyway haha)
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>>16438318
Oh, so you're a bitter health nut. Makes sense now.
>>
>>16438319
Impregnate he as fast as you can.
But seriously, just dont give a fuck, they dont about your feelings obviously.
>>
>>16438323
Not wanting someone you love to be addicted to something.
You're a keeper.
>>
>>16438326
More like not being a control freak over people's life choices, dear.
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>>16438326
Anon's right. The bitterness does more harm than good. I've dealt with addiction in my family, and the mental health professionals all agreed on one thing: the domineering member of our family who was imposing her view on the addict was as big of a problem as the addiction's focus.
>>
>>16438328
Whats it like getting mad at silly comments on anonymous forums?
And try something that's not akin to "n-no u".
>>
>>16438329
Because he asked me to look up some options for me him, that makes me controlling?
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>>16438332
Not even mad? You're the one ending each post with snarky remarks. If anyone is mad, girl, it's you. Did the mention of coke strike a nerve? Can't control your boyfriend enough? Blame it on love? Okay.

You can keep blaming it on the 4chan.
>>
Guys: What do you do after a date if you really liked the girl you were with? How do you give her the hint that you're interested in her?
>>
>>16438335
Yep.

It's not like he lacks access to Google or, ideally, professional help. All you did was facilitate him shirking responsibility while ceding decision-making to you. You took it gladly because you're imposing your personal preferences ("I fucking hate it") onto him.

Seriously, as a family we went through years of this stuff. You're both doing a bad job and hiding your own issues inside of it. Plus the antagonism you're giving the other Anon is laughable. Please stop.
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>>16438305
Hey! I remember you! Glad it worked out and no boundaries were crossed ;).

>>16438309
I'll tell you the same thing I told my girlfriend:

Redheads aren't at all considered universally attractive, but why a lot of guys do is because:

For one, the "exotic"/"rare" factor. Also, there quite a few studies that suggest that to men, the color red in particular is evocative and sensual--on a completely subconscious level. That's why red lipstick and red dresses can catch so much attention. I'm just guessing, but I imagine a hint of that transposes to redheads as well.
>>
girls: what's it like having people want to talk you, or being able to talk to anyone without being seen as a weirdo or having an agenda?
>>
>>16438340
Uh, she'd figure out within the first 15 seconds of the date that I'm interested in her. We're going to be flirting and holding hands and all of that affectionate stuff during any opportune moments while we're out. At the very least we'll have a parting kiss.

I guess if you want to be specific, it would be the call or message the next day thanking her for her company. I'd mention looking forward to our next plans. I'm pretty sure that's a clear hint.
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>>16438348
You should ask attractive guys, too.
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>>16438340

Personally? I text them that I had a really great time and want to see them again; but I guess I also do that with girls I had a just ok time too. Hmm...

I know that normally i'm insanely hard to read, but if I really like someone, it's pretty obvious. I remember my girlfriend mentioning that on our first date, she wasn't sure I liked her at all until like two hours in when apparently something she said triggered something and my body language instantly shifted and she thought "Ok. Now I think he's interested".

When it comes down to it, most of us guys are pretty straightforward. If we like you, we'll seek out your attention because we enjoy your company. That's assuming you're not dealing with some PUA bs anyway--but i'm old enough and have got enough personality and maturity to where I've got the luxury of bypassing all the BS game playing though (mid to late 20's); so take that with a grain of salt.
>>
Met a girl on tinder, she seemed really into me. We went on 4 dates, 2 of which included dinners which I paid for.
One of those days she called me and wanted to see me.
The last one was just a walk in the city looking at things to buy. she put her arms around me and seems pretty happy.

Weekend goes by, I send her a text on monday (2 days after the last date). No response. On tuesday I ask her if she wants to get dinner, "No I can't". I wait a few days, send a message friday "Hey is everything okay?". (She's done this before legitimately, as her grandma was very sick the week before). I get a generic "yeah I've been busy"
She didn't reply to me after that. I haven't hear from her since.

As far as I can tell, it's over, but I really have no idea what happened.
>>
>>16438383
>paying for dinner
>not making a move over the course of 4 dates
you dun goof'd
>>
>>16438383
Since you met her on tinder, she might've been fishing for multiple guys.
She might've had a good time, but chances are she dropped you for someone better for her.
>>
>>16438279
>if you like the taste, get decaf.

As someone who doesn't drink and isn't particularly fond of coffee (i prefer tea), but has learned to appreciate what good coffee tastes like (fresh ground, pour over brewed, straight black coffee). Decaff is pretty terrible.

That's like saying alcohol-free beer is comparable flavor wise to a craft beer

or that veagan pastrami is the same thing as the real deal...

Just no...
>>
>>16438355
I can answer this, kind of.

It's just... Normal? I guess. It's easy to talk to anyone, because they always assume I already have a gf and good job, so conversations are always very honest and transparent.
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>>16438309
>>16438309
I'm not, but maybe that's because I have a foot fetish
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>>16438387
I've had someone else tell me that too, so that's probably what it came down to. I just wansn't getting that vibe from her, I tried going in for a kiss on the 2nd date and it didnt end well. I should've seen the signs earlier, thanks.
>>
Yestorday i told a girl i met for 2 month now and js becoming close that her make up makes her looks like a ghost. Now she wont talk to me. What would a girl feel if a guy that she eats together a lot said that?
>>
there's this chick in my class who always stares at me but whenever I talk to her she seems turned off. what do
>>
>>16438469
She thinks you're a weirdo, bro.
>>
>>16438195
well you sound about as fun as a bag of rocks
>>
>>16438469
could be just her wanting to feel attractive, thats when she stares at you, to see if you stare back.
Just ignore her completely
>>
>>16438309
>Guys: whats the appeal of redheads?
They're rare. It's like catching a shiny pokemon. Personally I'm more of a brunette man.

>>16438318
>Its getting better though. He gets caffeine withdraw and is really cranky. After about two days with none.
It's crazy how much sugar is in that shit. I've lost 30 pounds just by cutting out soda.
>>
How important is it to be able to smile correctly?
I have some sort of muscle disorder or something which causes the right side of my lips to not move up as far as my left side so I always look like I'm smirking. I also can't smile showing teeth because it literally looks like Frankenstein's monster
>>
>>16438568

Don't worry about it. Crooked smile is probably just cute, unless you have an exceptionally creepy face.
>>
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>see a women
>connect make out
>says she doesn't want romance and all this shit on text claims no more of that stuff
>work on self and improve
>sees me and we talk again
>ask her to hang out
>tells me she's only free at night and wants us to go to get drinks
>last time we spent the night together and she didn't want me to leave despite no sex just us making out and her making me breakfast
>only used caution due to being a close friend of her widowed mother
I'm not crazy in thinking she just wants sex from me and nothing more right?
Mother doesn't know about any of this and she told her nothing plus we both are in our mid 20s
>>
>>16438286
Mind if I give this a bump?

If it has to fit the thread, I could rephrase it as
>girls, how often do you feel a guy should stay in touch etc?
>>
>>16438646
She probably only wants sex from you.
And if she caught the feels, that's a bonus for you, right?
>>
>>16438286

Dude, but it depends. Every relationship is different.

My gf and I have texted eachother almost every single day since our first date 8 months ago. We're both in our mid to late 20's, and I have never, ever texted or contacted anyone this much volume before; our first month of texting equated to about 2 years with one of my best friends.

General rule of thumb, if they're equally as responsive, enthusiastic, and you can both tell you like each other you're good, and the sky is the limit. If not, chill.
>>
>>16438396
I never tasted decaf.
But I do like the smell of coffee ironically.
>>
>>16438557
Eh, he's actually like only 120lbs anyway.
he doesnt eat very well.
He actually like the stuffed pepper his dad makes, which surprised us all.
Its also his gums I'm worried about.
>>
Male here. How often do you masturbate? Daily? Or once a week?
>>
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>>16438680
>Eh, he's actually like only 120lbs anyway.
Is he like 5' or something
>>
>>16438709
5'7 or 5'8 now.
he was 5'7 when we met and 98lbs.
>>
Ways to get back at my boyfriend?

Lately he's been getting frustrated over little things and berating me. This morning he threw my spiral which had months of notes for my math class out of the car window while we were driving because I accidentally ALMOST stepped on his jacket which was on the car floor. He keeps throwing my iPhone across the room and calling me names. Eventually he acts like it never happened and cuddles me. I want to show him how it feels like since he won't take my crying and words seriously.
>>
>>16438905
Why would he take them seriously? he doesnt have to. You dont do anything.
Leave his ass.
He sounds like an asshole.
If you said he had one episode of doing such things, and you talked about it together and he apologized an explain what thing was setting him off, and it wasnt actually you, THEN maybe I would understand.

Fucking leave him.
>>
How do i find girl who likes white guys? I live in Northeastern USA. It seems like every race of men wants white girls, but same can not be said for white guys. White girls also seem to prefer dark skinned men. What do?
>>
is fingering a girl part of the normal progression for someone you havent had sex with?
>>
>>16438968
For me it wasnt.
That was too intimate of an act.
Like, we had touching of out bodies, then cuddling naked, then eventually sex.
But we were 16 and each others first. we're 21 and 22 now.
>>
Had a second date Thursday night. I know it didn't go well (she wanted to go to the movie rather than a more active place). The whole time she was shifting during spectre probably should have put my arm around her. She and I really clicked at the movie bar though. After it was over I tried to kiss her and she pulled away and just told me to text her. I said I liked her but just didn't know how to show it. She said she doesn't really know me and it's hard to go beyond a stranger. I told her she could ask me anything but she texted that she was going to bed (always at 11). Haven't heard anything from her. She did say she doesn't like my hair (beetles bowlcut, yeah I know). Thinking of cutting it down to the crewcuts I got all the time in hs and college to match up with the dating app photos. Should I just do this one thing to see and send her a photo to see if she is still interested (probably not though)? It's no problem to get a haircut.
>>
>>16438991
how the fuck did you cuddle naked without sticking your hand in her groin?
>>
>>16439002
I just touched him and he didnt seem to want me to stop, so he didnt go for it.
just a guess though.
>>
>>16438905
Dump him.
>>
So I used to flirt a fair amount with this girl I really liked and seemed to like me as well but I was never sure how to proceed with a relationship.
For instance one of her good friends told one of my friends that we were hooking up, which we were not.
A few weeks ago she didn't respond to a text I sent and stopped doing work with me, which I rationalized in my head as her not liking me anymore.

I sent her another text a week back asking her to coffee because I just wanted to man up and she said said that she would love to.

Any chance this is a date or is it just a friend thing?
>>
>>16438905
Leave him you dumb nigger

>>16438953
You're blaming your race for your other more significant issues.
>>
>>16439027
Coud be either, so assume it's as friends with an opening for more.
>>
okay, so, say youre with a dude. youre about to bang him. youre both in the bedroom and shits about to go down, youre lookin at his wiener and everything. would it completely take you out of the mood if he said some garbage like "yo ive never done this before, i need you to show me how to do it the way you like"?

lets say hes in his mid twenties, too, so you probably fully expected him to know what hes doing. is it... weird to ask for some gentle instruction? should he keep his mouth shut and bumble through it instead? id ask one of my irl female friends but i dont want to seem lame
>>
>>16439119
remove "yo i've never done this before", keep "the way you like?"

only an autistic fuck would bring up the fact that they're a virgin. just fucking wing it, sex isnt complicated you just stick your dick in her..
>>
I know that not every girl is like this, and different guys will act differently too, but:

Why is it that women tend to dislike it when their boyfriends go to hangout with their friends?

My ex insisted on texting and calling constantly when I was out with my friends. I've noticed that when my dad goes over to his friend's house (Down the street from my parents'), that my mom always rolls her eyes.

Is this something that's as ubiquitous as the stereotype suggests?
>>
>>16439119
Why would anyone EVER admit to being a virgin? What the fuck, dude?
>>
>>16439137
Guys know that their girlfriends wont leave them(if in a trusting and happy relationship), so they dont actually plan things out for the two of them to do.
So say your dad expects your mom to make their "date plans", and may on occasion put it on hold to hang out with friends.
Meanwhile, you dad will go out of his way to hang out with his friends, because he knows if he doesnt, their friendship will slowly slip away.
While your mom knows this, it annoys her that he puts more effort into having that pure fun with his friends than he puts into having with her.
She wants to be the one he's excited to take somewhere and she wants him to plan out a hangout for them. She wants him to treat her like their still dating and have a tiny bit of fear tat if he doesnt make this same type of effort, he could lose her.
You mom wouldnt leave and wouldnt even give him the idea., but deep down, she would hope he comes to this conclusion on his own.
tl;dr She's jealous because she wants to be the fun one he wants to hang with.
>>
>>16439164
Does that make sense? I may not have worded it like I wanted to.
>>
>>16439164
Actually, my girlfriend has said something along these lines before.

One night, I had some friends over, and we were at the other end of our house, playing video games and goofin' around. About the middle of the night, GF gets up and tells me that "We're being loud, and that she's trying to sleep". Even though I didn't think we were being loud, I had everyone go home because it was late.
A few days later, she tells me that we weren't really being loud, and that she just woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that I wasn't in bed with her yet. She also said that at the time, it upset her that I was having fun with my friends and I didn't act that way around her. (Though, I thanked her for being honest with me, I thought it was kind of cute/manipulative.)

Does this not come across as petty and manipulative? In a relationship, doesn't your partner become a facet or reflection of yourself? (Forgive me if it seems like I'm pointing fingers here. I'm really not, I just find this dichotomy interesting.)
>>
>>16439214
Be honest, if she said "have more fun with me then you do with them", would you actually listen?
I mean, you might try, but you can't just force yourself to have fun with her.

being direct with you has probably never worked, and I know its probably a weird, thought, but in her life youre her girlfriend.
Like, all the thoughs you have, she has, she's just as complex as you. She has insecurities, and things she likes doing because she excels in. But things girls traditionally excel in arent able to be watched or praised.
Thats why girls get such a fucking high from proms, dances, baby showers. Everyone's getting amped up for them which they would usually save for a boy, like sports, competitions, driving for the first time(thats why people always joke about teenage girls driving, they show them as ditzy, while boys are just "getting into trouble now")

She wants that laughter and camaraderie that she see's you have that she can't have with her girl friends. She see's all this hype and potential fun that you use with other people and not her.
its a frustrating sort of life.

Find something she excels in, and plan a date around it. Do this thrice a month and I bet you'll get less complaining.
>>
Anyone. I need advice

There is a girl I've been talking to the past few weeks over text (we met online). We've been having really fun conversations and we are planning to meet in a few weeks. She's always sending me pictures of her smiling and asking how I am. Which should be good right? For some reason, it's like turning me off. I'm lucky as hell that I have a attractive girl like her whos talking to me, even if this doesn't turn into a relationship, I'd be lucky to have a cute friend like her. But I guess it's just my shit self esteem or something else, but I don't know why she likes me. It doesn't make sense to me, and it's turning me off that she likes me. How do I fix this /adv/? Like today I haven't even felt like texting her, and I'm feeling less excited about meeting up as a was just last week. I don't get lucky like this. Fucking ever. What do?
>>
>>16439286
So why are you getting less excited?
Is it turning into anxiety, apathy, disgust?
>>
>>16439033
well plenty of guys ask things like im asian black or whatever how do i find girls who like me and people offer advice. White guys dont have the same issues? I think we have it the worst.
>>
>>16439312
>White guys dont have the same issues?
No, not really. If you can't get a date when you're white, it's because you have other more important failures. The type of girl who goes out of her way to chase a groid isnt one I really want anyways.
>>
To girls: Is the guy supposed to pay for the date?

To guys: how often and when do you pay for the whole date (if ever)?
>>
>>16439249
... I... DID I TALK TO YOU IN THE LAST THREAD, ANON? And if so, I'd like a means of contacting you because I really think you're swell.
>You might be the Anon that griped at me for saying women's brains are "Alien". (Even though, I know now that, that was pretty fucked up and I didn't mean it like that.)

So, okay. Back to what you were saying. Find something that she excels in, and plan a date around it. That sounds awesome, actually.
>>
>>16438348
Like being born in a rich western democracy - amazing, but 98% of the time it's just your default setting and you are more preoccupied with whatever trivial setback you experienced that specific day. It honestly is pretty fucking sweet, though. But I'm pretty sure flat out ugly women are shunned by guys as well if they try to talk to them, and are invisible in everyday life.
>>
>>16439321
I usually pay for a first date because it kind've clears up the question "If it is a date" sometimes.

But nowadays you can be pretty open about your wallet and expenses. Some of my most succesful relationships were founded on the premise that we could both have more fun if we split the bill.

>Asked this girl if she wanted to split a trip to Gatlinburg Tenessee with me.
>She laughed, "Are you serious? Yeah! I'm free this weekend."

Most of the time if you admit you're broke, women tend to understand completely. They're in the same boat, and it also filters moneygrubbers immediately.

Don't be greedy, splurge on her a little and let her know you'll provide for her, if that's what she's looking for.
>>
>>16438686
On average, probably once a week - but that is talking from my current position where I haven't been intimate with anyone in a long time and don't have a crush on anyone. Back when I liked someone I flirted with and had sexual conversations with, it was two-four times a week. It's not like my sex drive disappears, but if there is no one to focus on I find myself daydreaming more about exciting fantasies or reading up on people's fetishes and experiences online than having a carnal urge to have an orgasm. That is, until I haven't had one for at most a week and a half, then everything starts to look and seem ridiculously arousing and I do it anyway.

But the conclusion is my urge to do it and amount of times fluctuates with how much sexuality is going on in my actual life.
>>
>>16438348
I'm a guy and I've never really had this problem. Is this really a thing or is it just a dank redpill boogeyman maymay?
>>
>>16439321
its whoever asks the person out.
if I asked a boy out I'd pay.

If a dude asked me out then said "okay, you pay", i'd be peeved, but if I asked him out, I would want to pay to show him I'm not seeing this as costly to me, but an investment into our possible relationship.
>>
>>16439324
I DON'T REMEMBER.
I DON'T THINK SO THOUGH.
>>
>>16439306

I'm not sure. I guess it's at the realization that she likes ME. And I despise myself. So maybe it's disgust that she likes me, even tho i like her? Like I don't deserve her or something like that
>>
>>16439350
Is that really it?
When you say that, does it feel like thats the answer?
If you dont have that guy feeling of "yes, this is probably why I dont like her", then that's probably not it.

First tell me your opinion, I dont want to say mine and have it sway you.
>>
>>16439317
so if i was indian you wouldnt give me the same advice?
>>
>>16439345
Oh. Well, I can tell from your post that you are intelligent and insightful, and you were really enlightening the way that the Anon was in the last thread.

I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.
>>
>>16439370
I'd tell you to go back to India
Plus there's not much you can do about your race, so there's no point in stressing out about it.
>>
>>16439321
I think this is a tricky one. It's not that I feel that the guy is -supposed- to pay, it's more that being adamant about not wanting to on the very first date seems kind of.. hostile. When I go for coffee with friends, we usually alternate with who pays for both without keeping track of the amounts. Or I'll pipe up that it's on me that day because I just got paid, or I have something to celebrate. It underscores that you are not two parties meeting for a business arrangement or something, you like each other, and the consumption of whatever shit pales in comparison to just being in each other's company. That and it's just not romantic whatsoever to both be fumbling with coins or waiting turns to pay by card, it's practical to the point of being a bit cold.

I agree with the other anon that if I were to ask a guy out, I'd pay, and if someone asked me out I would definitely offer to pay my share because as has also been said, money issues are not exactly incomprehensible to me or most of my age peers. But I do not recommend going into a first date as a guy from a sort of resentful defensive "it's bullshit that the guy should pay I'm not paying for her shit why should I pay for her company" starting point like some guys on here who ask about this seem to assume. Basically I have no concrete advice for you but I feel that if you are to ask a girl out, it is courteous for you to be prepared to pay for the both of her and it is courteous for her to not expect to be paid for and to offer paying her share.
>>
>>16439321
>To guys: how often and when do you pay for the whole date (if ever)?
Usually most of the time. If a woman goes dutch I'll notice in a positive way though.

In a committed relationship I'd expect to either go dutch or alternate as far as dates go however.
>>
>>16439368

It's not that I don't like here, I DO like her. But I think it's maybe freaking me out that she likes me. I don't know. I haven't really talked to girls in like the past 5 years
>>
I put my arm around her and she just went pretty stuff and frigid

she doesn't like me then?
>>
>>16439373
Well to be fair in my initial question I wasn't stressing about it, i was calmly asking for advice. I just wanted to know what kind and how to get girls if im white.
>>
>>16439407
See what I think it is, is that this means a whole new chapter in your life.
While you might not like the one you're in now, you know it well.
That anxiety of being super happy, then the relationship failing may scare you. Or it going great, then she gets pregnant. Or it not going great, and you're scared this was your last option and you've just exhausted it(which isnt true).
I may be off on it, but it seems to be a reoccurring problems for neets, basement dwellers, shut-ins, and what have you.
>>
My gf has a protective housemate who is quite suspicious of me and finds excuses to interrupt us all the time when I visit and chases her up with texts if we stay out late together or she's staying the night at mine. They've known each other for much longer than we've been together and have quite an established thing where the housemate takes control of my gf's life from time to time (eg. when she was stressing out about her uni finals, the housemate made her a study plan and cooked all her meals).
I'm finding the housemate's interference is a bit of a barrier to the relationship and I think my gf would benefit from being more independent. My gf hates it when I criticize her housemate because they're such good friends. I don't know how to deal with this.
>>
Women, what do you think of the dad body fad?
>>
how much of a commitment is a college aged relationship?

like how much should i expect to see her every week if we go to the same school and live relatively close? i got shit to do yaknow i cant be over there everyday
>>
>>16439423
beta bux, alpha cocks.

this is my dream why are you complaining? have really loud sex while hes in as well.
>>
>>16439421

But I'm not NEET. I have a Fulltime job and make really good money
>>
>>16439448
>neets, basement dwellers, shit-ints, what have you.
>>
>>16439445
The housemate is a girl and my gf and I aren't having sex yet, partly because of the housemate.
>>
>>16438185
I don't drink coffee
>>
>>16439454

Well give me advice anon, this girl is QT. I'm not being fake over text. I'm being myself which she seems to like. But the fact she likes me bothers me because I hate me :(
>>
>>16438229
Herpes is a very complex subject that most people are very ignorant about. It's not as simple as you're making it out to be. You definitely have the ability or be loved and have a healthy relationship.
>>
>>16438449
Girls put a lot of effort into makeup so when you said it was bad it's a slight against her skill and taste so she took it personally.

Just apologise dude.
>>
>>16438449
Probably pretty hurt
>>
>>16438968
I think so, yes. What seems natural and right to me is

Hugging
Holding hands
Cuddling
Kissing
Kissing with tongue
Fondling/groping chest/butt
Kissing other areas
Fingering/hand jobs
Oral
PIV sex
Butt stuff
>>
>>16439137
No. A good girlfriend will be happy and encourage you to spend time with your fiends. Ideally, she will be part of your friend group too and your best friend.
>>
>>16439439
Strange
>>
Currently at the far right. Any benefit to reaching the far left, or should I settle for the middle?
>>
>>16439583
Forgot pic.
>>
>>16439587
7% looks fuckin weird man why would you want to look like that unless you are actually a bodybuilder
>>
>>16439587
I don't think the far left is a good picture to use, because they get dehydrated, waxed, bronzed, and oiled up for the competitions. That person doesn't look like that on a regular day.
>>
>>16438953
weak cvck bait
>>
>>16439587
Here's the standard /fit/ one if it's any help

>>16439598
Meh.
>>
>>16439608
7 and below is unappealing. 10-12 is ideal, 15 is hot. 20 is neutral, and 25+ is unappealing.
>>
do girls like to be felt up during cuddling?
>>
>>16439618
This pretty much
>>
>>16439622
I love it when my boyfriend does.
>>
Why do girls I'm interested in always look at me so differently when I tell them that I occasionally like to cross dress and take dick?

I'm doing the exact thing that they want to do with me, but somehow when the shoes on the other foot it's "weird"
>>
>>16438195
>additive
That's bullshit, I've had tons of coffee in my life, hell, I work in a fast food coffee place (Tim Hortons) and yet I've never been addicted. Coffee is pretty much the last thing I'd drink out of most beverage options, I only have coffee like once a week. I like the taste, but I like pretty much any other drink more than it
>>
>>16438342
It's not just for women, guys who wear red shirts are considered more hot
>>
>>16439647
Most women want to date men, not other women to put it simply. Masculinity is attractive and femininity is unattractive.
>>
>>16439681
I don't demand that women enforce strict feminine roles upon themselves and reject anything that could be masculine. What do all these girls have against me expressing my sexuality?
>>
>>16439690
That's your personal preference. I'm sure they are fine with you doing it as an individual, but it's their own sexuality that they are expressing when they choose not to date you because of it. You have to respect that too.you can't expect everyone to have the same standards and preferences as you.

There are girls out there who will be into it, they are just rarer.
>>
>>16439697
You're acting like I'm not talking about girls that are into me, then flip suddenly and call me a faggot and other mean stuff, then make other people make fun of me
>>
>>16439647
I think I would feel extra pressure to please you.
Like "he could just go find a dude to fuck, if I'm not pleasing him"
The crossing bit would honestly make me a bit embarrassed in public, but if overcame that feeling by not giving a fuck, I don't think I would mind.
>>
>>16439645
my ex didn't

;_;

but then again there's probably a reason she broke up with me
>>
>>16439622
Yes.
Even if it doesnt lead to sex, someone just feeling my body feels nice.
>>
>>16438215
She might know something you don't unfortunately.

>just doesn't click
There's a fucking reason. And one way or another, you should probably find out what it is, cause either something's up with your girlfriend or up with your female friend.
>>
>>16439714
Well I don't think they should do that. That is mean and very rude. But it's their choice as to whether that's a deal breaker or not.
>>
>>16439720
>>16439645

so by "felt up" that means like fondling their chest and shit? i dont wanna overstep the boundaries y'know.
>>
>>16439745
Well for my boyfriend and me, it means that and more. But it definitely depends on the individual girl and her current comfort levels.
>>
>>16439745
yeah, dont just start groping.
But my boyfriend will usually start by kissing my neck.
And his "gropings" are really much like, boob hugs?
Like, its not entirely for his pleasure, but also mine, so its not like it usually is, but his hands stay longer on my skin.
And honestly,
winters gropes + clothes on = awesome.
it just makes it that much more intimate, that you dont need to be naked to enjoy each other.
>>
>>16439745
Men are the ones that are supposed to escalate physical interaction.

If it's too fast for her go back a step to cuddling and kissing and give it another try when she's more aroused than she was before.
>>
>>16439714
yeah i feel you, just dont tell them i guess. I kind of do the same thing, i might be into a girl but if shes fucked non white guys i flip and bail on her.

like on anon said everyone has different standards just got to search around until you find someone.
>>
>>16439715
I don't even crossdress in public, or even that often. I just like to act out different aspects of my sexuality, and it sometimes makes me feel womanly
>>
>>16439647
Have you thought about dating sites for people with kinks and stuff? If you can find a girl who is cool with what you like then you know you're fine to proceed from there.
>>
>>16439769
Even if she only fucked an Asian guy? What if she had sex with a black guy, but said it wasn't good and he had a small dick?
>>
>>16439773
Well if you find a girl who's into fashion and needs a model so she can make her clothes, there you go.
Maybe a community college.
>>
>go out with girl
>then go to party
>we just mingle with others
>was hoping for more between us
>saying goodbye I just sperg out and we have a quick hug

lol how badly did I fuck this one up grils?
>>
For the guys:
Lets say youre a 19 or 20 y/o virgin ,how would you react to a 21 y/o girl admitting to you that shes a virgin as well? is that a turn off or something?
(im asking because im assuming that you as a 20 y/o virgin would like a person with experience to teach you stuff)
>>
>>16439782
No, I can't stand how stilted and artifical all that kind of stuff is. It all seems so sterile and neutered. Weird sex stuff should only be learned once you've already gotten to know the person
>>
>>16439797
I was 22 when I lost my virginity, and the absolute last thing I wanted was somebody more experienced than I was. Losing my virginity with another virgin would have been the best situation
>>
>>16439790
asian guy is really ok, like korean or something. Doesn't matter about dick size, if you find black guys attractive i assume you dont find me attractive. Im just not into it, but thats just my preference. Same token, im ok with dating a girl who is bisexual.
>>
>>16439797
>(im asking because im assuming that you as a 20 y/o virgin would like a person with experience to teach you stuff)
You don't know much about the guys around here do you? Most people would be ecstatic to have a virgin qt and lose their virginity together. It definitely takes pressure off the guy being a virgin anyway. So yeah don't worry about it.
>>16439805
You're kind of shooting yourself in the foot man, I know you want your sexual preferences to be significant but if this keeps happening to you then you need to forgo the surprise.
>>
>>16439797
i wouldnt mind. nothing wrong with learning together
>>
>>16439768
ya i understand.

my problem is that the girl i'm "with" right now is basically obsessed with me and would probably let me do anything, so it's hard to know if she likes something as she'll never say she doesnt as long as its me
>>
>women aren't usually interested in me
>but when I get to date a girl, they want to marry me
WHY.jpg
>>
>>16439842
da fuck? If she likes it because it's you then she still likes it.

Go for it anon, she'll probably love it and has been waiting for a while.

Unless you're not ready, then you need to sort that with yourself.
>>
>>16439849
provider archetype
>>
>>16439854
no, i'm certain that if i asked for something retarded like anal she would probably reply positively even though in her head she's thinking "wtf i don't want that"

a relationship like that can't last
>>
>>16439871
>even though in her head she's thinking "wtf i don't want that"
teach me your mindreading skills
>>
A girl gave me her number (without my asking). How long should I wait to contact? Should I text or call? If I call, what if she doesn't pick up?
>>
>>16439923
>If I call, what if she doesn't pick up?
Call her again lol
>>
Should i apologize or just pretend nothing happened (if i ever meet her.)

Long story short, dated this girl for a month, she broke up with me for some vague reasons, i dealed with it ok at the time and just said ok i had fun and never spoke to her again.

fastforward month later i can't deal with the feelings of doubt anymore and i text her and basically ask her why.jpg a awkward conversation happens about and i called her immature because of her reasoning. day after the conversation she deleted me on facebook and everything.

Now this girl goes to the same university as me but i never met her at the uni so far, so not a big chance we ever meet again.

How to deal with this situation? what used to be a normal breakup without awkwardness just became more shit
>>
>>16439980
and i have to add apologizing for the retarded texts ofcourse
>>
>>16439980
Apologise for being such a child
>>
>>16439923
wait 3 days, then text. and try not to spaghetti all over the damn thing
>>
>>16439990
yes i lost my cool. Thing is i don't see her in real life anymore and if it happens it will be by chance. I doubt texting a apology now would make it better
>>
>>16440003
Try to forget about it then, there's not much you can do. I mean if you might not ever meet her again who gives a fuck? I'm sure you do now but soon you won't.
>>
>>16440003
I meant apologise if you see her in person
>>
>>16440009
>>16440015

I think the best option is that IF i ever see her again is to just casually say sorry for the last thing and not make it a big deal in public obviously.
>>
Is it really true that making girls laugh is a god way to get them? There's a girl I like that laughs at every single little joke I say and sometimes she says something along the lines of "I don't know why everything you say makes me laugh" but apparently she doesn't want any of it with me.
>>
>>16440058
> but apparently she doesn't want any of it with me

Why you think that?
>>
>>16440058
It's attractive, but it's not guaranteed. I'm not going to date a funny guy if I don't find him physically attractive, for example.
>>
>>16440068
Well, I'm friends with some of her friends (they don't know I like her or maybe they notice but don't bring it up), and in some conversations it came up that she was trying to get it on with a guy from her job. As far as I know, she's not doing an amazing job at that but her friends say she's kind of obsessed.
>>16440070
Yeah, I guess. I'm really average and just started hitting the gym a few months ago and there are some results. I'm doing it for health, but I also hope it gives me some advantage in this situation.
>>
How do I just casually hang out with a guy friend alone?
>>
>>16440089
>Yeah, I guess. I'm really average and just started hitting the gym a few months ago and there are some results. I'm doing it for health, but I also hope it gives me some advantage in this situation.
I'm not saying not being physically attractive is your problem, I'm saying that there might be something counteracting your funniness. I just used physical attractiveness as an example.
>>
>>16440105
Casually hang out with him. As long as you don't flirt you should be fine.
>>
>>16440110
Ah ok ok, I get you. At any rate I doubt anything will come out of this situation, but now that I know I have something going for me I wanted to know whether it was really helpful as people say or not.
>>
>>16440112
People say I'm flirty when I don't mean to be I just don't get social norms how do I avoid coming off as flirtatious?
>>
>>16440131
Exchange some friendly banter, that really makes the situation more comfortable. Unless he liked you from the get go, he most likely won't be interested in you in a romantic fashion anymore unless you actually go for it.
>>
>>16440131
If you don't know how to control it it's probably best to tell him you aren't interested. It might be a bit awkward but it's better than him thinking you're down to fug
>>
>>16440131
>how do I avoid coming off as flirtatious
keep your distance
don't touch him
whenever he touches you, move away from him physically
if he continues to touch you tell him to stop touching you because it's making you uncomfortable
>>
>>16440137
>>16440139
Ok thanks friends
>>
>>16440089
Just because she's interested in another guy doesn't mean she's not interested in you.
>>
i want to ask this girl out who iv known for over 3 months

she gave me her number enthusiastically during a lecture and ever since has been giving me signals

should I call her to ask her out or use facebook? we usually talk through instant messenger

I plan on asking her to food or coffee
>>
Male here, looking for POVs from males and females.

I'm with a girl for the first time, and everything make her uncomfortable, but she ends up liking it most the time. (Example would be kissing or touching)

Like if I just said "Can I grab your ass" she would say no, but just doing it, she was pretty okay with it.

I don't know how to have boundaries in this kind of situation.
What do?
>>
>>16440259
are you sure she's "pretty ok with it" or she's scared to tell you to get your hand off her ass?
>>
>>16440259
>What do?
Prepare to be dumped.

Seriously though, don't do it if she says she doesn't want you to do it. It's only a matter of time before it's basically rape (inb4 whiteknights). She might not have the balls to tell you not to, but many other girls would tell you to fuck off.
>>
>>16440263
She's said she's fine with the ass.
I feel like I have to be quite dom, but know my limits too.
>>
>>16440274
>Seriously though, don't do it if she says she doesn't want you to do it. It's only a matter of time before it's basically rape (inb4 whiteknights).
What do you suggest then?
Ask her every time I touch her if I can?
>>
>>16440284
No, what you do is not do something if it makes her uncomfortable.

How is this even a question? You're basically asking how to control yourself
>>
>>16440259
She doesn't like it but doesn't want to kill the mood by forcefully telling you no after she's already said she's not into it.
Or ask her sometime when you're not in the middle of things "Do you mind when I grab your ass, or do you just not enjoy when I ask first?"
>>
>>16440284
>can i touch your butt?
>no
>she was pretty ok with it

lol what.
>>
>>16440288
So just don't touch her at all in intimate moments?
Are you trolling me, or are you a white knight?
>>
>>16438166
Guys:

What do you think about tongue piercings? There's this guy -mutual attraction but no moves yet- and I want to blow him so bad so I was thinking if I got my tongue pierced it might help break the ice a little. Would it turn you on? Would you make a move?

We only see each other once a month anyway so it might be a quirky little surprise at the next meeting. I'm not a slut, I've only had 3 partners in 9 years, but this guy is something else.
>>
hey everyone i need some girls to answer something for me.

A week ago in the night of halloween some friends put up a bon fire in a hill and since they are my friends i was invited, I wasnt expecting to drink since I got drunk the day before and i was kind of tired. Since I was tired i just put on a comfy hoodie and didnt go in the mindset of meeting girls.

Once I was there though everyone was drinking so I got myself some cups and some friends shared with me. I had a little weed but because it was so little I made an union with a stranger (we both put what little weed we had so we could have a decent joint) and went apart from the group so we could roll and smoke more calmly.

Of course we shared with some other friends and now we are sitting in a circle laughing. I noticed that a blonde girl appeared but since I wasnt in the mindset of looking for women (im 21 virgin but not kissless) I didnt pay any special attention to her. We continued talking and laughing and she ends being really cool and sitting next to me and rubbing my leg (which i know see is a obvios sign) and making comments about sex in a casual way.
This goes olympically above my head and I just continue to talk to her and just trying to make myself to have the best time I could. After a few comments and being touchy for a while she says nevermind and closes ups her legs (she was sitting indian so our legs were always touching) and starts speaking to some other people. I didnt do nothing and continue cracking jokes with my other friends in the circle but eventually we start talking again and then we just talk about life for the rest of the night.

At some point we stopped talking and I went to my friends and she to hers, when I tried to go talk to her again she said they were leaving and I told her that i forgot her name because i did and i also got a fact about her that she told me about earlir wrong (this is all in the goodbye). we didnt exchange numbers or anything, i only know her name.
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>>16440297
Are you a retard? If she's not comfortable with it, how in the world is it an intimate moment? It's you basically sexually assaulting her.
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Which channel of communication is most advisable for asking a girl on a coffee or a food 'catchup'

We usually use facebook, but she has given me her number, for free. Both means worry me, too informal or too formal. Its fucked and im a pussy, but I do have a sexy voice which might help.

Plz help
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>>16440304
cont

my question is: was she just looking for sex or something casual and i fucked up for not catching it?

I have been beating myself up because i think there was a clear interest but i didnt do anything and since she was so upfront in her moves (in retrospective) I dont think she really likes me but she just wanted something to do in the night so i dont know if i should look for her in facebook or anything.

Also, if we happen to find each other in another party or event, can i be real direct in my approaches?
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So I was wondering about anal sex. I'm a heterosexual and never had ass play before so I wouldn't know the answer. I'm hoping someone can help me out. I'm wondering if it feels as good as taking a dump. I feel energized and ready to take on the world after I dump. Is the feeling I get pooping the same I'd feel as getting slammed in the ass? Coffee is pretty expensive and I know a Greek guy down the street who's willing to help me out . So what do ya say reddit I'm thinking of taking the plunge.
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For the women here, what do you and your friends consider a normal woman's attitude about sex/sexuality? I ask 'cause I'm 30 and all the women I've dated fit into exactly two categories:

1. Sees sex as something you do with a partner you like in a relationship, but are frigid and have no interest in actually doing it.

2. Has a functional sex drives and enjoys physical intimacy, but is basically a sex addict and will do it with anyone, anywhere. Possibly involving groups and in public.

Is this normal or have I just had really fucked up luck in dating? I just want to find a girlfriend who values sex but doesn't have stories about swinger parties and glory holes.
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>>16440319
>>16440256
Posting your question twice is not going to make it more likely that someone will respond. It'll just make it twice as more likely to be ignored
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>>16440328
You've had fucked up luck in dating.
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Asked a couple of threads back but her goes.

I've gone on a few dates with a girl who I really like recently. From what I could tell she was having a good time. I decided to kick it up a notch and invited her to a more romantic place than we had previously been going together. She responded that she liked that place, but that it was a bit too far away, so I suggested a closer place. That was on Thursday. The message I sent her is marked as "seen", but with no response.

Now, I just assumed that she musn't be interested in me, but a couple of days after I sent the message, I was waiting at the train station and she came up to me from behind, tapped me on the shoulder and we had a brief conversation.

I assume that if you were actively avoiding responding to somebody's message you wouldn't approach them if you saw them in public (especially if they hadn't noticed you). I'm wondering if she saw the message, but was busy at the time and then forgot to respond later. What do you guys/girls think?

I kinda want to try and message her again, but I don't want to be "that guy who can't take the hint". I have a lot of female friends and I know that they all complain about disgusting guys who keep messaging them even after they feel that they've made it clear that they're not interested.
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What does /adv/ think of dating women in the work place? I've met a couple of qts at my job and both seem to be quite nice girls.

One of them has invited me to watch her sing at a church thing (I'm an atheist) and I said I'd go one time (they happen every week). I can't tell if it's just as a friend or what, but we seem to get along very well.

What do?
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>>16440373
Why do people who ask this never explain where they work?
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>>16440131
Girls generally seem to be pretty bad at this for some reason. I suggest:

1. No physical contact. MAYBE hugs when you meet up, but I'd even avoid that if you don't usually do it. Definitely no hand touching/arm hugging etc.
2. No talking about sex.
3. Bring it up that there's a boy you're interested in and ask his advice.
4. Avoid emotional conversation topics.
5. Don't sit or walk too close together.
6. Don't make jokes about fucking each other or being together.
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>>16440384
How much does that affect me? I just wanted to keep some privacy, that's all. It's just retail.
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>>16440392
Because a shitty wage slave job that you don't plan to be at very long is very different from a job that you're planning to make into a career. And how in the world does retail give away your identity?
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>>16440396
>that you don't plan to be at very long
I'm going for full time work. It might be retail, but it's definitely a step up from fast food and grocery shopping. I earn pretty good money here, and I don't blow it all on luxuries like alcohol, cigarettes and fast food. I know how to finance myself.
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>>16440406
I didn't mean that's what you were planning to do, I was using it as an example to illustrate that different jobs and workplaces are different.
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>>16440420
Of course. But that's straying from the topic at hand. All I really wanted to know was if others in this thread had had experiences and whether or not it'd be a good idea to take that opportunity or not.
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>>16440424
Again, that depends on where you work. If it's some place that you're only there for a bit of pocket money while you get a better job, then it's less likely that you'll be around if something goes wrong, and therefore less likely for it to be awkward. There's also less of a chance that there are rules against workplace romances.

And THAT is why it's relevant where you actually work.
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>>16440434
Ah okay. Well thank you for that answer.
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Guys, what piercings on girls do you consider okay and which do you consider red flags? Do you consider any hot?
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>>16440537
earrings. Rest are varying degrees of unappealing. I don't consider any attractive honestly.

>>16440303
See above. Getting a piercing just because you think it'll win him over would just make it worse.
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Do opposites attract? I've developed a slight crush on a classmate of mine, and I'm working up the courage to ask her out. The biggest thing stopping me is the fact that we're both pretty different from each other. I'm not particularly the best student, and she's a brainiac. She organized and lives a structured life. I'm messy as hell and rarely show up to anything on time. Despite this, we get a long great and spend a lot of time around each other because we sit next to each other in the classes we have together. Other have told me I should ask her out, but I'm just not confident. What do you think?
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>>16440577
Opposites attract, but they don't often last. In your case, she'll probably get frustrated with your disorganisation.

On a slightly different point, do you think your lack of academic success is at least partly to do with your disorganisation?
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>>16440577
Opposites attract, but like lasts. The more similar people are, usually the more compatible they are.

However, you should still ask her out. If she says yes, go in dates to get to know her better, and from there you can tell more accurately if you two are compatible.
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>>16440582
Oh definitely, I'm in a major with a lot of major projects/presentations and me being unstructured have definitely negatively affected my success with keeping up with goals/milestones for school

>>16440583
I should, my friends have noticed she acts/treats me different from all the other guys in our classes. She's pretty reserved/soft-spoken, but always opens up to me. I'm definitely interested, but like I said I'm just afraid to because of how different we are
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>>16440328
You've had bad luck, but don't be discouraged. It's normal to have to wade through unbalanced, incompatible people in order to find someone balanced and right for you.

I believe sex should be within a committed, loving, ideally life-long monogamous partnership, and I also believe that it's EXTREMELY important to have a healthy sex life within a relationship, full of excitement, passion, physical intimacy and pleasure.
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>>16440610
>Oh definitely, I'm in a major with a lot of major projects/presentations and me being unstructured have definitely negatively affected my success with keeping up with goals/milestones for school
If you worked on your organisation, you might get better grades AND improve your compatibility with her. Just saying, you have nothing to lose from putting a little motivation towards that.

What's your major anyway?
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>>16440668
Yeah I know, but I have other passions/hobbies that preoccupy most of the time. I study architecture. But I've been told that people think she likes me because of how relaxed/nonchalant I am so changing that might not be good haha
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>>16440692
>she likes me because of how relaxed/nonchalant I am so changing that might not be good haha
Like I said, she might like it now, but she'll probably eventually get frustrated if you're in a relationship. Opposites may attract, but once the honeymoon period wears off, the individuals soon become frustrated with traits of the other person they once thought were novel or endearing. She might enjoy how spontaneous you are now, but eventually she'll probably find it annoying

I'm not saying you need to change yourself to get a girlfriend, but to get THIS girl and have it last, it'll probably require you to make some change
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>>16440706
I agree, I probably should grow up a bit if I seriously want to try to make a move on this girl. How do you think I should ask her out? We've gone out in small groups/partied before, but never alone. I was planning on asking her to grab some food/coffee with me sometime after class and seeing where it went from there
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Anybody

I've been talking to a cute girl from tinder for 2.5 months now. We have a lot in common and text a few times a week. We haven't met in person yet. Anyways, after a funny conversation earlier today she told me that we should get togather and watch breaking bad because she's never seen it and we could "make out between episodes". That was unexpected. Why am I physically shaking right now? It's hot as fuck in my room but I'm shaking as if it's freezing in here
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>>16440720
I think the clearest way to ask someone out and make sure they know it's a date without actually using the word date is to say something along the lines of "Can I buy you dinner some time?"

>>16440735
What's your actual question? She probably got sick of waiting for you to make a move and figured she do it herself
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>>16440746

Why am I physically shaking? And should I go through with this? She's fun to talk to, but I'm not a very physical person
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>>16440354
Anyone got any insight on this? Sorry to spam my own problem, but I'm very interested in getting an outside opinion.
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>>16440354
Message her casually. Nothing serious. Just say something along the lines of "Hey, how are things? We should catch up". Something like that.
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>>16440757
Do you want to make out with her? If yes, do it.
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>>16440909

Honestly, not really
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>>16440912

Actually now that I think of it, no I don't. I feel kind of weird that she would want to make out with me, I don't believe I'm a attractive individual so it makes me uncomfortable that she would want to get physical with me, even tho she's cute.
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>>16440537
They're basically metal zits.

>>16439797
Would probably be fine.
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Where to find night owl girls? And I don't mean virtual girls across the planet that I chat with sometimes. Where do I find real night owl girls that I can hang out with physically, go on night adventures, and play video games with?
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>>16441177
outside
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Is it normal to consider the merits of breaking up from time to time while in a relationship?
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>>16441287
No I don't think so
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I'm hanging around with 2 other people, a guy and a girl I'm close with. The guy's a smooth talker and keeps talking to her. The girl regularly turns to me and shoots me a smile. I smile back for a bit, and Mr Smooth takes over conversation again. Not that I'm silent myself, though.

Does the smile thing have any meaning to it? Or is it the usual
>something insignificant
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>>16441320
she enjoys you but its to insignificant of a sign to make any other conclusions
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>>16441073
Don't devalue yourself, anon. Slam that pussy.
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>>16440537
Earring are fine, everything else a turn off

>>16440303
More of a turn off for me desu
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>>16439419

What was the situation?

It could be that she thought you were trying to progress your advances and didn't feel comfortable.

Did she seem interested, or was that move a shot in the dark?
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>>16440259
You are seeing her boundaries and ignoring them because they don't suit your desires. If she's uncomfortable, she's uncomfortable and you will have to accept that. Take it more slowly, spend more time cuddling, pecking each other, showing her affection in non-sexual ways. It sounds like she is nervous and probably has hang ups about sex. You can force them and it could work out for the best, but there's a good chance that it will have negative consequences long term - she will later resent you for not respecting her feelings and pushing your own on her, or the dynamic of your entire sex life is set that you "force" things on her and she takes it, she never learns to epress her own desire or take initiative or even just explicitly enjoy things.

Think about it in a different scenario. Imagine you asked a girl to be your girlfriend, and she went "...I don't know, I don't really want to..." but once you went ahead and grabbed her hand in public and introduced her as your girlfriend, she went along with it and even seemed to kind of like it. Would you have good faith in that relationship? Obviously not, if you're sensible. You start things off on the wrong foot and it is likely that she will never be as on board as you are.
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>>16440322
Are you a man? If so, it probably won't feel similar to having taken a big shit, but it will apparently feel pretty fucking great if done right. If you are a woman, there is no physical reason why you should enjoy anal sex, and while some women still do enjoy it (protip: add fingering, don't expect to get off on anal solely) a lot also describe the sensation as "reverse shitting" which feels pretty bad.

In both ways, make absolutely fucking sure that he uses a shitton of lube and you have succesfully fingered and used toys anally beforehand or you're just in for a world of pain.
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>>16440577
To an extent. I think ideal is when you have the "big" things in common, and enough different to be fascinated with each other. For example, I don't think it's a big deal that you're not a great student and she is. It IS a big deal if she is supersmart and intellectually oriented and you are average (for a university student) and not intellectually curious at all. You are focussing on matters that are too superficial.
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>>16441287
I think it's normal to consider the scenario, but not normal if you feel 100% pragmatic about it and are just weighing pros and cons without feeling emotion at the idea of being without them... then it's probably more a relationship out of comfort and not being alone than sincere love.
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>>16441731
Makes sense. She's just a lot more academically oriented compared to me. We are in a field that's pretty subjective, you have find a balance between practicality and creativity. She always compliments my work, it's always a little "out-there". She's always by the book and makes great projects/presentations, but she doesn't seem to care I do academically, when we talk it's usually about other things.
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>>16441775
If I were in her shoes I would rather have someone who can keep up with discussing my academic interests and understand my ambitions, than someone who can do exactly as well in that area. The latter can mean an almost coincidental common ground, the former shows that you are comparably wired/oriented in life, which goes a lot longer. You don't need to work together profesionally, you do need to be able to share your thoughts and philosophies (most people want to, at least) and feel connected that way.

Also, in the end the rule of thumb is that you need to be able to offer each other something deemed valuable, and not have huge issues. It's not like you are the sole source for her to talk to and network with. She has a bunch of fellow students and ultimately colleagues that she can discuss work with, you don't need to be able to meet every single need of the other person or have every inclination in common. That's also partly why I said that I think it is more important that you can in a bigger sense find each other in your ideas - that is more a lover's territory than discussing specific technical information of your career path/research project/whatever. It sounds like you do well together, there's no point in overanalyzing whether or not your combination is ideal if you have chemistry and enjoy being around one another.
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>>16441791
I understand what you're saying. I guess I'm afraid of actually trying to make a move because she seems to have everything in her her organized and career-oriented and I'm here still trying to figure out who I am and such. But there is no denying that she is interested in me, she chose to sit next to me and interacts positively to me every time I'm around her. I guess I'm just intimidated by a mixture of her looks/intellect/personality. I'm just an ex-jock with an artistic side, I really don't understand why she find me interesting haha.
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>>16440537
any piercings are ok for me, i might prefer face piercings over body piercing thought.
a red flag would be a clit piercing.
hot ? maybe a nipple piercing
>>16440303
tongue piercing are ok, i find them a little slutty, but i like slutty girls in bed :)
>>16439797
as a virgin, i'd feel comfortable since i don't have to "prove" anything to her, and i'd be excited to explore our sexuality together. With experienced people you might have some pressure because you don't want to look like a loser in bed.

>>16439321
everytime, i've been raised that way, i like taking charge and appear as well manered, in my country if you don't pay for at least the first date, it's considered as a huuuge red flag.
i will not pay everytime thought.

>>16438340
i tell her ? i tell her that i want to see her again, that i had a great time etc
>>16438309
Redhead are my least favorite type of girls, some are pretty, for sure, but i just don't like too pale girls with ginger hair and frekles :/

>>16438215
well, i'd just try to spend time with her alone, but i'll shut her mouth if she's badmouthing my gf behind her back.
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Girls, why do you use the "Sorry, I'm too busy excuse" when asked out rather than just saying no?
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>>16441855
Because telling someone "no" is a lot more hurtful. No decent chick likes to hurt someone's feelings. Right or wrong, it's a "softer" tactic for a girl to use. You realize it means no, so there's no sense in getting wound up about it. If no means no in any of those languages, just accept it and move on.
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>>16441871

lying is actually more hurtful than the truth, btw.

especially when you find out they were full of shit.
>>
>girl i work/go to school with
>talk to her for the first time last night
>ride around with her
>flirty touching etc etc
>she drops me off, i go for a kiss
>she flinches
>i ask her whats up
>she freezes and kinda zoinks out on me
>we both say we've never done anything like this before
>she says she has to go, still freaking out on me kinda
>she drops me off and i go to sleep

any advice?
I'm thinking I should just go with the flow.
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>>16441878
>lying is actually more hurtful than the truth
If you are a dumbass then yes.
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>>16441897

finding out a girl is lying to your face is pretty harsh, imo

just give it to me straight, im a man.
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>>16441901
But "sorry Im busy" is normally used on text and not face-to-face. Also its your problem if you cant let something like this go on.
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>>16441921

just be honest.

is it really that hard?
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>>16441855
>>16441925
I think pic related is better than a long text to explain you... Not that you are one but shits basic interaction.
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For the women: is there any way at all for a guy to approach you and initiate conversation with you without knowing anything about you other than your physical appearance and not seem creepy?
There's this girl at my uni that I see walking around somethimes and she's a 10/10 for me, but no classes together or anything. Is there any hope for me?
>>
What does it mean when a girl calls you a "genuine person"

Am I friendzoned?
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>>16442003
You don't sound very genuine if that's the first thing to come to mind.
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>>16442010
I really really like this girl and can't stop over thinking everything she says
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>>16441949

>im autistic because I want people to be honest

holy shit, kill yourself.

is it really that hard to be direct or honest? why lie to people? if you dont like them, just say so. dont worry about their feelings, be clear so there is no room for interpretation.

>she said shes busy, maybe another time then?

no, fuck off. if you arent interested, say so.
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so there's this girl in one of my classes that I'm pretty sure likes me but whenever I try to have a conversation with her she seems really reserved, like I'm forcing her to talk or something. Any advice?
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>>16442047
tl;dr ask her out
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How come white women are more into non white guys? Is this the media doing it or are they biologically programmed to find white men unattractive? You dont notice other races of women leaving their men. I dont understand this.
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Is there any potential to study dates? Basically a college guy and college girl meeting up in the library to work on an exam together. Going on one soon. Should I count on hours of dedicated study or could there be more to this?
>>
>>16442202
Especially in the library and not at home expect serious studying.
It could lead to a little bit of talking and an 'opening' for regular chilling though.
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Okay girls or guys I need help.
So I met this really nice girl and we seemed to get along pretty well.
So I asked her out and she said yes. Now here's the problem. Whenever I bring up doing something together on a weekend she's busy. Normally I would assume she lost interest but the thing is she seems to actually be really busy. She spends both Saturday and Sunday at the library working on some paper of hers. We do talk if we happen to meet in between lectures and she replies if I chat her up.
From talking to her I have a rough idea on when the deadline for her paper is. So should I wait and ask again later or should I not bother since she's not interested?
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>>16442268
Wait until she's handed in her paper, don't keep pestering her right now

>>16442202
Maybe, but probably not. If a guy tried to make a move while I was studying, I wouldn't be impressed

>>16442198
Aren't we more attracted to someone different (genetically) so that our offspring can be as diverse as possible? It's not a white woman thing, it's an everyone thing

>>16442003
It means you're not fake and you've successfully followed the 'be yourself' advice. Whether or not she's interested, I don't know

>>16441996
If you have a reason to approach me and talk to me that doesn't involve trying to sell me something or give you something, sure

>>16441890
You're probably not going to be able to recover from this to be honest

>>16441855
Because some guys won't take no for an answer. "No" is met with things like "Come on, give me a chance", excuses like being busy and having a boyfriend make it clear that you're not going to go on a date with someone. Plus, how autistic would it be if someone just answered with just a no?
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>>16442328
>Wait until she's handed in her paper, don't keep pestering her right now
Okay, will do that.
Hope I haven't messed it up yet.
>>
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There's a girl who likes to joke about us being married. We don't really talk that much.
Is she trying to say that she likes me?
>i'm in the uni btw
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>>16442336
Probably not
>>
>>16442328
>>16442198
>Aren't we more attracted to someone different (genetically) so that our offspring can be as diverse as possible? It's not a white woman thing, it's an everyone thing


so i shouldn't go for white girls then? Who is into white guys? Like italian/german upper middle class american who is getting a STEM degree type.
>>
What would you do in this situation?
> meet a girl in class
> get her number
> message her something casually
> get reply a few days later

Shall I message her back, or shall I wait until I see her in person next time?
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i posted this in another thread a couple of days ago but i didnt get too many replies so sorry for the re-post

GUYS AND GIRLS

i am going on a date with a deaf girl tonight. Does any one here have any experience with the deaf? What should i expect and what are some things i shouldn't do. Also is it weird that me as a hearing person is going on a date with a girl who is completely deaf?
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>>16442645
Hope you have a way to communicate.
>>
I'm a guy and I've never came before from sex. I don't know why, but I've never been with a girl that's been able to get me off. And it's pretty embarrassing. The last time this girl blew me last year for almost 40minutes and then actually got alittle upset with me because I didn't cum. What's wrong with me. It makes me not want to have sex anymore
>>
>>16442645
Can she lip-read?

In any case don't make it too weird, don't let her deafness be the centre of the date.

Also:
> spontaneous, uncontrolled noises
>>
>>16442657
Porn/Fap status?
>>
>>16442645
Don't fart, thinking she can't hear it anyway. She'll smell it instead
>>
>>16442659

Yeah she does but she said she prefers not to. We will be using our phone and lots of facial and hand expressions.

Also what do you mean
> spontaneous, uncontrolled noises
>>
>>16442669
Having gone to school with deaf students, some of them do noises sometimes, because many of them can't really control their voicing organs as well as a hearing person.
>>
>>16442664

I don't watch much porn, maybe once every other week. And generally I fap once every morning when I wake up. But if I know I'm going to be meeting a girl I usually don't fap 2 days before we meet up
>>
>>16442673

ahhh i see, I don't get embarrassed easily so i don't think that will bother me too much
>>
>>16438166
Guy here, should I invite a girl on a date today or tomorrow?

We have gone out on a few occasions and both had a really good time. Usually we would exchange some banter over text each day, but the last week she has been a bit aloof, with me initiating every time. I've messaged her both yesterday and the day before to ask a few important questions so I'm wondering if I should give it a day of silence before texting her to arrange a date for next week.

Would appreciate any advice. Normally I wouldn't care, but she's rather special so I want to be cautious.
>>
>>16441890
People can react with shock if they have a particular idea but things don't according to plan. It probably wasn't in plans to kiss you that night. She might not even know how she feels about you yet so just give her time.
>>
>>16439490
This hits close to home :(
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>>16442872

It sucks. I don't think I'm attractive at all. But she is. So what is it about me that she likes? I don't understand :/
>>
>>16442879

body dysmorphia is weird

I hit the gym and got in shape and when girls flirt all I can think is that she is confusing me for someone else.
>>
>>16442884

At least you're in good shape. I've been dealing with bad depression over the past 3 years and due to my suppressed appetite I've lost quite a bit on weight. I'm 5'11 143lbs... I'm a skinny fuck but this girl likes me. Why??
>>
>>16442897

I was depressed too, gym helped me get more confident.

if she likes you then guess what? you're better than you think you are. other people are better judges than we are cause we have natural bias. but if someone else compliments you, it's genuine.

so relax, she wouldnt like you for no reason. it could be the way you act, or how you look. who knows?
>>
>>16442918

I hear you, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable
>>
Girls,
If you were really into a guy and he implied that he wasn't interested and ignored you but came back the next week acting friendly and potentially interested, would you still feel the same way?
>>
I was just out with a girl, we walked along a cycle path for a few hours just talking. We saw shooting stars which was nice and unexpected.

We're both pretty shy so there would be a lot of moments of silence between talking, it was obvious we'd both feel kind of awkward and I'd struggle to think of something to talk about and she said the same. When we would actually talk it was nice and we have a lot in common, it's just the conversation would get stilted and die a lot.

Is this normal? Can I become a better conversationalist and stop it from happening? I'm not exactly a social butterfly as you might expect.
>>
>>16442928

if you arent used to it, it can be weird getting attention like that: but look at it in a positive way. I used to beat myself up over how I looked, and now that people show interest I realize "hey, im not that ugly after all I guess".

it's a compliment: people dont show interest in people they dislike. rather, they would avoid them. so that means you must be doing SOMETHING right.
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