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Are orgasms important or is that just pointless hype? I've

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Are orgasms important or is that just pointless hype?

I've never had one and I keep getting mixed information on whether that is damaging to my health.
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>>16437714
>never had an orgasm
Imagine finally peeling after a long time of peeing. Now, amplify that joyous sensation by a factor of 10, add a bit more for the dirty, naughty feeling, and extend it by being the most relaxed you'll ever be. That's a good orgasm.
Orgasms are good for you, but not required. Try it for yourself or find someone to give you one
>>
It's the best way to relieve stress, at least for me. Better than comfort food and a massage combined. You can live without one, but I think life is much, much better with orgasms.
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>>16437721
I've been trying, I've tried a dildo and a vibrator and everything, looked up all the instructions and all, and I still don't get what I do wrong.
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>>16437730

It sounds like you are expecting a penetrative orgasm, which really happens.
You need to stimulate your clitoris, and it can take a bit. Most orgasms comes from the head, not the genitalia.
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>>16437734
The vibrator is one of those bullet ones you poke a clitoris with. I can get myself to flinch back from it from a right angle and that's probably what I should be doing but I can't keep pushing that because I can't really make myself do something my body keeps trying to stop me from doing.
>>
Start by getting really turned on. Maybe people fucking in a video gets you off, maybe you need written erotica with a plot, maybe you want fanart of your favorite characters, maybe you want to hear recorded dirt talking.
Then once you get turned on, start playing with your vulva. Feel what feels good and what doesn't. For most women, it boils down to either humping something (like a pillow), or rubbing the clit in small circles. Try laying on your back, try laying on your stomach, try sitting up. Try adding some penetration too, if you want. Most don't need it.
Then basically just keep going. It took me about 15-20 minutes to orgasm when I first started masturbating, and the orgasm was quick and not very satisfying. The more I've done it, the easier it is for me to orgasm, and the more intense the orgasm is.
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>>16437742
But that's what I do.

I look at porn, sometimes manage to get the dildo in, use the vibrator on my clit until I get bored and go check 4chan instead.

How do you know if you've had an orgasm?
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>>16437749
you're not horny enough to get an orgasm.
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>>16437755
Now what?
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>>16437736
I have the same problem. I used to reflexively push things away from my clit, people included. Now people can touch me there, but I still instincitvely squirm away. Your best bet is to get another person to do it, probably with your hands tied.

It's expensive, but try a vibrating wand. Bullet vibes do jack and shit for me. If you want to get there and get there fast, a wand is the way to go. Hitachi is the go-to. I've used a few different brands and broke them all, but haven't bought my own Hitachi yet. My friends swear by them.
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>>16437749
You know when you've had one, for sure.
If the dildo+vibrator don't work, don't use them. Use your fingers. How wet do you get?
Or, settle for not having any orgasms.
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>>16437775
But doesn't a hitachi cost like 400 euros?
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>>16437779
I'm in the US, I don't know conversions too well. It's about $45 here, last time I looked.
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>>16437777
Do you think I would have invested in toys if I hadn't already come to the conclusion that I can't do it without?

I just keep trying and trying and in the end I just get more upset about not being able to do it and just end up crying instead.
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>>16437785
How does it feel for you? Do you feel any pleasure? Do you get wet?
How long do you keep at it before getting bored?
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>>16437789
I don't know about pleasure but I get a sensation. I never seem to get wet when I try, and trying to do and think of stuff that gets me wet when I don't doesn't seem to do it. Just the thought of "today I am going to masturbate" seems to get it bone dry.

An hour or so, usually. It's kind of hard to define since I just try in like 5-10 minute phases before giving up. Today I tried it for the first time around 11 am when I woke up, and it's almost 3 pm now.
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>>16437797
I often am not wet, either, even when I'm definitely horny. And sometimes I get wet when I'm scared or annoyed. Don't use that as a 100% indication, it's not reliable.

I also can only successfully masturbate lying down on my stomach.

I'd say invest in a magic wand, maybe a cheap knock-off to start, and lie down with the bulb against your clit. Turn it on, readjust it as necessary, and then try to gently grind against it. Going hands-free will prevent you from reflexively removing it.
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OP, you clearly have a mental block that is stopping you from enjoying sex. Trying to force your way through will not work. You need to first figure out what triggers this (you probably already know but aren't willing to face it).
Masturbation should be a really enjoyable experience all the way through, not just the orgasm, but you need to be on the right mindset first.
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>>16437811
I've tried holding a blanket between my hand and the vibe to keep me from flinching but it doens't work.

But is that the feeling we're going for? The thing you keep trying to dodge?
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>>16437797
Seems like the problem isn't your technique, it's that you're not turned on.
Do you have any mental hangups about sex? Like, were you raised religiously to think it's wrong, have you ever been abused, is it possible your orientation isn't quite what you think, anything like that?
Start from the beginning and find something that turns you on. Again, it might not be regular redtube porn videos. Try to relax about the whole thing. Watch/read/listen to/imagine porn without masturbating, just explore it. Maybe you have some very specific kinks you haven't discovered yet, or maybe you're really vanilla but can't get into it unless you feel a real love and connection between the two people in the story,
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>>16437812
So there's not going to be relief from my problems before I've dealt with my problems that are harder to deal with because of the anxiety I get from not getting relief from them?
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>>16437814
Yeah, some of us respond to it in the same way some respond to being tickled. But that loss of control means that you're doing it right. The sensation should build until you feel like you can't handle it anymore, and then you orgasm and everything is right in the world.

Personally, I prefer orgasms from penetration (they feel different), but that's not common. Clitoral stimulation is more of a sure thing.
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I used to masturbate grinding my clit against my fist in circles while lying down on my stomach and tensing my legs. I heard it's not good since it's the female equivalent to the death grip but it's the only way I can get off. You should try it out if nothing else works for you.
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>>16437819
Pretty much yeah. Sorry. But hey, at least the problem isn't a physiological one.
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>>16437819
Something like this, yes.
Masturbation and orgasming is great, but they won't solve your problems.
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>>16437818
I've found what I have a fetish on and that shit is so kinky I can find it on youtube. I watch a lot of porn without masturbating, but even my favourites can't get me interested if I'm actively trying to masturbate.
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>>16437827
Then what am I supposed to do?

I shouldn't be drinking considering family history, I have NO access to drugs (and I will fight you about this), cutting is bad and temporary and I shouldn't be smoking, either. And that always gives the temptation to butt the cigarette on myself and that's not good.
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>>16437836
So you used to or still do self harm, right?
Anxiety or depression or both? Yeah, you need some sort of treatment for that, either therapy or medication or both.
This whole sex thing isn't going to work for you until you sort this shit out.
>>
>>16437836
If you self-harm you have deep rooted issues you seriously need to work out. Have you considered therapy and medication to get your head straightened up?
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>>16437836
Are you into pain in a sexual way at all? There are things you can do with a knowledgeable dom. I've found that getting flogged, cut, or zapped is about as good as an orgasm when it comes to stress relief. I want to try fireplay, but there's only one person I trust to do that, and I don't get to see him anymore.

In the wise words of Principal Lewis, "You've got whips and chains, who needs a shrink?"
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>>16437844
I have anxiety and depression about the sex thing. I just thought there was something I could do myself to make it easier while trying to fight the health care system to see if I deserve to get help.

I just have anxiety about sex and orgasms relieve anxiety and I don't understand why I can't have one.
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>>16437850
BDSM is nice and all, but that's pretty bad advice.
More like: "you've got whips and chains and use them all you want, but you should also see a shrink and possibly take medication"
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>>16437833
>>16437836

What you should've doing is actively trying to masturbate.
It has to feel good and natural.

If you think you really can get horny, very horny, then there might be something you could try.
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>>16437855
>I just have anxiety about sex and orgasms relieve anxiety and I don't understand why I can't have one.
At least that part's simple. You can't have orgasms because you have anxiety about sex. You need to be relaxed and comfortable to have an orgasm. And you can't relax because you have anxiety.
Solution: deal with your anxiety, then deal with sex
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>>16437850
I have absolutely no interest in someone trying to dominate me. To be perfectly honest I pretty much need to have my partner tied up for me to feel safe at all. I'm pretty sure most of my fetishes all stem from needing to make them unthreatening or render them harmless in one way or another.
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>>16437836
No wonder you can't get off. Self-harm is the literal opposite of masturbation. Instead of gently touch and love your body, you cut and burn it. Your brain connections are fucked if you feel tempted to burn yourself with a cigarette instead of smoking it. You gotta go to therapy and get better first. Learn to love your body, learn to listen for what feels good. Don't expect to get nowhere near an orgasm if you don't love yourself first.
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>>16437857
Yeah, probably so. I do take meds and see a therapist, it was more meant to be funny. But pain is a wonderful stress-reliever, you get a rush of endorphins.
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>>16437868
I just need a release. Something. Anything.
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>>16437866
That's hot.
I'd love to make you cum all day every day of you kept me tied up really hard.
That's my fetiche anyway.
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>>16437886
What about being forcibly impregnated?
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>>16437877
Go for a walk or something. There's nothing we can do, and not much you can do right now either.
When you've calmed down a little, get in contact with your local health services, and see what they can do for you.
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>>16437873
Sure, but if you're in the kink community you probably know we have some crazy peeps who think BDSM will solve everything in their lives from their mental health to how their toaster oven won't work.
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>>16437894
I AM in contact with the health care services. I'm going to fight a real live doctor on the 20th of this month. I've just had a hard time for the past ten years and I'm gonna have a hard time for a few years more, and would like some sort of a silver lining somewhere.
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>>16437891
I don't get it
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>>16437858 here.
Do you think you can get really horny when you're not masturbating, OP?
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>>16437900
Yeah, I used to actually run events. I fucking hated the people who would sob hysterically during non-painful scenes.

One time someone interrupted my scene because his sub was crying hysterically, because she was so emotionally distraught that the sounds from my scene were "scaring her." Honestly, I wish I could go back in time and tell him to fuck off and go back to ruining his own playtime. I caved and stopped my scene.
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This has to be a troll thread
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>>16437911
Don't go to tumblr.

>>16437914
Define "really horny".
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>>16437903
Just be honest with them (about what you've been through, what you want, what you don't want, what you're afraid might happen, and so on) and it'll probably go fine.
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>>16437930
Well, that's what I'm afraid of. I tried that the last time, and they decided that a teenager calmly waiting for four years was a sign that they don't want it bad enough.

I assumed that freaking out, flipping tables and taking myself hostage by threatening suicide was the wrong course of action, so I didn't do that. And apparently that was what they wanted to see.
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>>16437929
If you have to ask I'm guessing you can't.
Do you feel anything at all down there when you're watching porn or whatever?
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>>16437943
I get wet, and that's about it.

It's supposed to feel different?
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>>16437939
So tell them about that experience. Where do you live by the way?
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>>16437947
>>16437947
I guess maybe it's different for everyone, but I think you should at least feel a good tingly sensation.
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>>16437954
Eastern Europe.

The culture of "it can't hurt if it's not bleeding" is a big contributor to the suicide rates and nobody really knows what to do about it because our relationship with being shitty towards mentally ill people is eerily similar to America's relationship with guns.

Sure it's sad that it kills people but it's just too much fun to give up.
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>>16437929
>>16437891

Now I'm even more curious, lol
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>>16437965
Hang in there girl. I hope things will work out for you.
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>>16437977
probably means mpreg

just warning you there's some weird shit out there
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>>16437990
Thanks. I've seen weirder though
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>>16437779
New to the thread, but there have been studies used that found the Hitachi wand to be greatly beneficial in bringing about orgasms in those with her trouble doing so.

On phone now, cbf finding references, google it if you desire to learn more.
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>>16438052
Thank you.

so it IS worth spending a fortune on?
Thread posts: 62
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