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>27yo >married for 4 years >having 3yo daughter how

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>27yo
>married for 4 years
>having 3yo daughter

how wrong is it to break up with my wife? I'm not feeling good. i think i'd be more happy without her. also the time we spend together isn't anything special. we argue a lot, no matter what we talk about. it seems like a common problem among couples. it probably is.
but there's me: having no balls to tell her what i feel or what i think. to tell her i want to break up. to destroy a part of her future. only because i have changed over the years? it feels just wrong to even think about a divorce. but i'm not happy. i wasn't happy the last 3 years. and i actually don't want to live like that for the rest of my life.
i guess i've answered my own question right now.
but i can't go. how can i get fucking rid of that guilty feeling?

every honest answer is appreciated.
>>
>>16437565
Sorry to say, but your life stopped mattering the moment the pregnancy test was positive. Having separated parents can destroy a child's self esteem, as they'll often blame themselves for the spilt. Or your little girl will grow up to hate you for not being there and resent her mom for trying too hard, and end up doing interracial creampie gangbangs on Pornhub or something

If you love your child, you'll man up, stay, and try to work out your problems with the wife
>>
>>16437577
Yeah, because growing up in a toxic, poisonous environment is so much more better.
My parents divorced. Calmly, found their next partners and I grew up in a healthy family. Sometimes I lived with my mom. Sometimes with my dad. Mostly mom, though.

My gf's parents "divorced" when she was little as well, but they actually stayed together. They lived in the same house for years on end. The parents would sleep in separate bedrooms and date other people. Whenever they talked, it was nuclear. The father didn't respect the mother at all and my gf with her siblings heard it all. It was the most emotionally toxic environment you can think of. The father was/is weak shit, not exactly a role model either. This left a bad mark on my gf and her brothers. They've kinda gotten trough it, but it leaves issues.

OP, do whatever feels healthy to you. Read a book on love or rekindling relationships or something. If you can't wake your wife up by talking with her, do whatever feels healthy to you.
>>
Personally I think it's more detrimental to the child to have parents who stay together but argue like hell and clearly don't love each other. The younger you divorce the more time the child has to adjust. If it's something that hasn't been resolved for 3 years it's time to go.
>>
>>16437565
>getting married at 23
>pooping out crumb crunchers on the honeymoon

well mane you dun goof'd on two accounts, the latter being the big one. it's time for you to man up and accept responsibility for your poor choices, don't do this to your child.
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>>16437577
7mage nailed it.

The only other good trip on this whole site to be honest
>>
>>16437577
she's eating up my soul. i'm not gonna do that. but i still hesitate, idk why. my parent's got divorced too when i was little. it isn't that hard for a child. at least i wasn't for me. but i guess it's hard for a father to leave his child behind. watching the kid growing up with the new friend of his mom.
>>
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>>16437565
What is the culmination of a married couple's involvement in their child's life except "being there" for them? My mother and father divorced when I was six years old, and I knew nothing then of the proceedings except that my dad was around a lot less, but then he did work night shifts at the police department. I saw him when I got across town, and it seemed normal to me. My folks kept me on a good track despite their mutual disagreement and separate households. My main point is, your treatment of your children does not rely upon your feelings of your ex-spouse.

Keep on loving your kids like you always did, and don't use your kids as leverage against your Ex. I know there's lots of crying songs about ex's, but your children didn't write those songs.
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>>16437625
i'm going to ask the obvious question... then why did you marry her?
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>>16437608
my parents for divorced too. it's good to hear that others think the way i do. thank you
>>
>>16437565
Rather then running away from your responsibility. Try to figure out what's the problem here. You feel restricted? You wife doesn't like you anymore? Your wife changed into a bitch? You changed into a fag? Resolve your problem. You need to know what's your problem.
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>>16437631
love has disabled my brain. i have no other answer for that, unfortunately.
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>>16437653
>lust has disabled my brain

we wouldn't be here if love was disabling you
>>
>>16437565
>having no balls to tell her what i feel or what i think
There's your problem. There's the marriage's problem as well. Doesn't help when you don't reach out and have an open and communicative relationship. She just gets pissed, because you're closed off, and she's dealing with her own issues, and you just get pissed, and it's a feedback look that picks away at anything positive.

What do you think marriage is? What do you think a successful marriage involves?

You have made a decision to not be an active part of your marriage and relationship. You can't communicate your feelings, emotions, or do thinks that would keep your relationship healthy and evolving as you and your wife continue to grow and change. Love doesn't carry you through, except for a small percentage of naturally agreeable people. Commitment is what carries most people through. If you can't save this marriage, then divorce now before your child gets used to you being married. But take this advice for your next marriage. You are creating so many problems with your lack of communication, self, input, and holding back on doing anything that would make your marriage positive.

Honestly, a marriage counselor is exactly what you need for your problems. But if it's easier and less scary to just give up, or if your wife isn't willing to have a revelation that she needs to communicate and be human as well, then get divorced.

But you're making your own grave as we speak, so change can start with you.
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