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I have not had luck with online dating since breaking up with

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I have not had luck with online dating since breaking up with my ex some months ago. I feel like I could get back with my ex if I messaged her again, but she is also insane. Borderline personality disorder.

I know it was a toxic relationship, but I am very alone. I don't go out much, I met her by pure luck. If I don't get back with my crazy ex, what do I do? Wait months, years even, until I find someone? Or maybe never? I'm 25 years old, people my age are starting to have kids. My ex was my only friend too, so in losing her I lost my best friend. Should I contact her? Or should I avoid the poison and keep roughing it alone?
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>>16436918
dont do it. trust me in this, op. i have experienced a similar situation, mine did not get any less crazy. personally, pussy is certainly not worth having to deal with someone with that particular disorder
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If you hate yourself that much that you can't stand to be alone, try to get back with her. But be prepared to deal with the consequences.
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>>16436918

no one wants to be with someone who just wants to be with anyone. the fact that you are thinking about going into something BAD because its better than being alone should tell you had little you think of yourself. if you dont enjoy a single moment alone, why would anyone enjoy a moment with you.

delete the dating apps, and date yourself. and i mean that in a serious way. force yourself to see a movie alone. go eat a dinner alone. do things you wanted to do on dates that girls never wanted to do.

then take the time to SAVOR those moments. once you take a moment to acknowledge how good that burger is on your tongue, that movie is on your eyes, or that video game is on your brain, you begin to appreciate the moments as they are happening. you condition yourself.

try this to start. stop what you are doing right now. and take a deep breath in through your nose. then out. now think about how fucking awful it was to have a cold before. be grateful you can breath through your nose.

its like that, but instead you get to appreciate time on your own more, so you dont feel bad when you are alone.
Savor it anon.
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>>16436918

>I'm 25 people my age are starting to have kids

when i was 16 people my age were starting to have kids, that did not make me want to do it anon. do you even have the money or resources to raise a kid? if not, then how will being in a relationship make this any different? and if so, you will have those resources tomorrow, so why worry?
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>>16436990
Most underrated comment ever.
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>>16436955
>>16436984

I don't know where either of you got the idea that I don't like myself. I love my alone time and my solitary activities. I think sacrificing my alone time for a girl was the hardest part of being in a relationship, really.

>>16436990
I don't want to immediately have kids, I feel like you have to build up a relationship for a good 3 years at least before even talking about kids/marriage. By then I'll be 28.
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>>16437026

>i dont know where either of you got the idea that i dont like myself
>it couldnt possibly be that im seriously considering and asking for advice about returning to someone i pretty much hate and know is toxic because its better than being single.

you dont realize it, but its internalized self hatred anon. if you enjoyed time by yourself as much as you thought you did, you wouldn't be asking us if its okay to date someone you hate. im sure you love her deep down, but you called her toxic OP. think about what you are saying
>being single is so bad that id rather be toxic.

THINK. ABOUT. IT.

thats as self hating as it gets breh. if you truly treasure your alone time, then keep having it, why ruin it with someone who makes you upset. learn to be alone without being lonely. alone isn't a negative word.

>3 years before kids

yes. but people dont have to have kids in their 20s. if you aren't ready to have kids now, then you aren't ready to plan for kids in 3 years. so dont worry about it. again, do you have the money or resources for htis? and dont argue that you might if a partner was helping support, cuz when the baby comes shes not going to be working for a little while.

dont worry about having kids til your 40. by then you will either be successful enough to get them by whatever means necessary, or so unsucessful that kids would be a bad idea.
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>>16437043
>you dont realize it, but its internalized self hatred anon.

Nope, you're wrong. I love myself to the point of narcissism. I am a religious man, so I especially value my alone time as that is my time I walk with God. I didn't ask for armchair psychology or projection. I need some time walking with my Eve to balance out my time walking with God. But you're right, that crazy bitch can't be my Eve. My Eve would never leave my side.
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>>16437049

>i dont hate myself
>I'd just rather date someone i know is toxic then be single

good one.
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>>16437060
I made the thread asking if it would be worth a shot. I ended my OP with a question, not a statement. I'm sure some people have had success dating people with mental illnesses who manage to get them under control with the right medication.
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>>16437115

whatever helps you sleep at night. alone. with no qt toxic gf to take away the loneliness.
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