Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 921. page

how the FUCK do I get her out of my head

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>>18566028
Finding another girl you monkey

men:
how much effort would you go through to fuck a girl who's unattractive in most ways but has a huge crush on you? i need to know if i'm getting played

>>18565984
means you don't have a solid career, a house, a steady and constant life with little variation. i.e. you don't move every 2-3 years, etc.

of course, how that shit factors into a sexual fling is beyond me. maybe she actually considered having a real relationship with you?? You just have to catch her when she's horny one night and tell her to give you her address.

You're credit history, seniority at your job, ownership of a car or house may not be that impressive?. I'm guessing.

>>18565994
>>18565995

Yeah it just has me beat.. I've never been so lead on my life. I'm not really bothered just don't understand how someone can get cold feet so suddenly.

She invited me to a cocktail bar earlier on in the week, pulled out of the bar the night in which said I can come to her house instead, only for her to pull out all together like an hour later. She knew the age difference and all, so why say all this crap only to turn around and say no.

Women are such strange creatures.

If you don't intend to cheat and want in a relationship with your friend rather than your girl anyway break up first. Problem solved, no?

In comparison to some of the shit people do in relationships it aint that bad. Be selfish... do it.

>>18565977
That's ideal circumstances though. I reckon if this friend of OP gives him the green light he'll find it impossible to resist going back to hers and banging her there and then.

I assume shes single herself?

>>18565957
>but i wanted to be friends
Lol, women.

>>18565957
Really you tried being friends with a 4chaner as a girl? Did you not know he would be sexually deprived. Cut contact with him. Why? He doesn't want to be friends, he wants you to be his cum slave. Go somewhere else to meet people.

>>18565967
I know he would but he is going through some really hard times and i would feel bad. Other then the messages sometimes he is really nice. and he sometimes says sorry for being weird.

>>18565953
maybe change it to heya /adv/, and i dont know i have the same problem,whenever i think i''ve done something wrong so idk how i can help with that
Maybe toughen up with just doing it?, Regrets of not doing it are worse than actually doing it i think

I know the feel. It's just insecurity, afraid of fucking the good thing up. Just know that as long as you don't do anything truly shitty like cheat, even fights are a normal thing that sometimes happen. You will disagree, you will both do things that will annoy and upset the other one. That's going to happen. That's not going to break the relationship unless one or both of you are incredibly immature and expect some sort of eternal happiness where nothing is ever wrong. But I know how hard it is to not stress about it, I guess it's one of those "fake it till you make it" situations. Try not to bother her with your insecurities too much, of course it's good to talk about it and maybe explain it to her, but no good will come from going over it every time something like that happens. Because then instead of just apologizing and moving on, the whole thing becomes about you, and your insecurities, instead of the thing that she was actually upset about. It might even make her feel she can't be upset at you and can't say it when she is, which is bad and will strain your relationship. "I'm a horrible person" is so much easier to say than "I see what I did wrong, I'll do better next time". But it's important, because the former makes you the victim and she may feel the need to reassure you it's fine, you're fine, she likes you, instead of being able to actually discuss the issue and solve it. You get what I mean?

So yeah, when you feel that anxiety coming and are sure that she now probably hates you, just try to acknowledge that it's just your brain being dumb. It doesn't feel like it, but it is. How many times in the past has everything been fine even when you thought it's not? Instead of trusting what you feel when you're in that state of anxiety, try to trust what you've reasoned in a relaxed, more objective state. That's how I try to combat it.

Good luck.

>>18565953
Dont let Insecurity play a too big role in ur life,
because then you'll become like me,a lonely 25 year old that sits inside all day

Stop watching porn. /b/ and other boards that are filled with sexual posts are considered porn. You can still fap tho. Btw what's your fetish?

>>18565943
I don't watch porn at all, though I occasionally chat with people also into it.

Feedism, though I don't see why that's relevant.

>>18565940
Any chance you were touched inappropriately as a kid? I know some kids who get touched like that go on to associate normal, sensual sex as very negative and violating, so they can only have extreme or unusual sex because it doesn't trigger their repressed emotions.

She liked you, you dun goofed. Why'd you drop her?

>>18565927
nah, I don't know. How did he goof up if he approached her and contacted her? maybe she'll get back in touch, maybe not. who the hell knows with women anyways?
OP, if you're interested in her, yeah, hit her up again, but not in a whiny way.

>>18565927
how did i drop her? i asked her twice via text. i couldn't do it in person on my last day because she left to do other work things.
>>18565932
i did already, yesterday evening. i asked if she was free after work today, nothing else. I guess my only option is to just let it go at point.

>>18565886
If you wanna get it done then get it done. If not work on yourself image issues.

>>18565893
does it look ugly?

I think it's beautiful. I love that kind of nose and wish I had one like that.

>>18565880
Lay in a bathtub full of ice. Also do a dry fast. It will fix your problems. You got nothing to loose. So might as well try it.

>>18565889
I haven't had the healthiest diet lately... Does it need be be a dry fast? And how long in the ice?

>>18565901
Google and yes dry fast do it for a day or two. Also clean up your diet and drink a lot of water after dry fasting.

>>18565829
contact them at your earliest convenience and make arrangements for a meeting date and time.

What do you think you did?
This could be about something that isn't your fault.

>>18565834
I'm meeting with my manager today.

>>18565814
instead of worrying about money how about you fix your social problem? start with basic phone interactions with businesses and product support lines. ask pizza places their hours or delivery times. work your way up to in person socialization.

Can't drive or won't drive?

>>18565814
Go work at a local grocery store.

>>18565805
Be present
Eckhart Tolle touches on it pretty well and goes in depth in his books, give them a read

>>18565805
MEDITATION

>>18566115
Literally came here to say this.

>>18565783
I've had this happen a few times. Just ask her if she is into it or not. I found doing that not only shows intent but it saves you time if she admits she really isn't so you can move on. Upload some of your conversation with her so we can get a better idea.

>>18565800
Some more background I actually knew this girl in high school and she remembered me as well. Here's some of our last conversation don't judge.

Her:
Haha not really. The most I do is dance but even then I rarely get that drunk
Jul 25 12:59PM
Me:
Same here. I only really drink if I'm with friends or co workers. What kind of music do you dance to? Country?
Jul 25 1:04PM
Her:
When I'm drunk anything really
Jul 25 9:05PM
Me:
That probably applies to anyone lol. Do you still party a lot?
Jul 26 6:41AM
Her:
No I don't. My child and school are very much so a priority to me.
Jul 26 6:30PM
Me:
Yeah I didn't think so but had to ask lol. I don't really either the only parties I go to are for work.

And I haven't gotten a response since then

>>18565819
No offense but that's a fucking boring conversation. However I'll address your question. Typically 95% of the time a girl doesn't respond within 24 hrs she won't respond at all. This means you will need to send another text. As I stated before just text her asking if she is still interested in you.

"Hey, I'm glad we got back in touch and was looking forward to seeing you next week but it doesn't really seem like you're into it. If you aren't interested you can just tell me."

Something along those lines. Whenever I've been direct with a girl and have asked I've gotten a good response and it expedites the process.

send him feet pics

Spread your legs

>Hard mode: no interactions in person
Send him nude pics

> finding a guy on the internet who wont ask for nudes every 40 seconds
Idk if that is possible

I have. Clinically diagnosed

But I'm pretty sure I'm borderline Counterphobic Attitude. My friend who has a deep understanding of mental illness, said that compared to other people with AvPD I'm on a whole different planet.

My best advice is to be mindful and dare to speak. The worse that can happen with AvPD is that you isolate yourself completely, which in turn obviously can lead to depression (or is a symptom of depression in and of itself.) Expose yourself to other people and you'll learn that it's not so scary. Make it a habit to talk to strangers. You don't have to open up completely if you don't feel like it, just don't become a victim of your mental illness.

I just looked this up and now im 99% sure I've got this too

>>18565726
So you tried therapy?