Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 752. page

it can happen, my older sis 27, has about 2 year relationship, I live in same flat so i know their problems too well... they have same problem of girl not wanting sex, she told me its just she is too much stressed after work and just wants to sleep, i know they arguea about that, but they also tend to argue about small stuff
and i can guarantee that she is not seeing anyone and that she is really too tired after work.... it might be simmilar issue with your gf

>>18583541
If you've come to her with your problem and she isn't interested in solving it beyond offering you the reason that her urge just "isn't there", it indicates to me that you're in breakup territory since she's not interested in putting any work into the relationship

did she change pills recently? does she have her hormones checked regularly?

i had one relationship ruined cause pills took away my desire to have sex completely (well, made me quite depressed in fact). took me about half a year to recover from the hormonal issues.

good luck.

dont worry, doc these days are good
if they thought you are dying there would be clearer signs
aparently there is something bad, but not to that extent

>>18583532
you probably have nothing and they are just using up all their options since there is objectively nothing to find in your body
no ct/mr? skipping to butchering?

>>18583565
Neither of those but blood test, ultrasound, pee and fecal test. They also tried a few prescription medicines, started a new one today but none of the other ones helped. Hopin for the best but I'm pretty much ready for the surgery at this point, if it'll help fix me.

if u guy, and lady cancels on you 1-2 times, nothing bad/might busy, if more often - cunning lady - dont make plans with her

>>18583519
Is sitting on your computer and crying about it on an anonymous Vietnamese spring-trap board? get in tinder or something and make some dynamic plans.

If this makes you feel any better -- we do the same to each other all the time.
With my best friends it's more like, we just call each other on the phone before the planned meeting, and we don't even have to say anything, we know the other one just doesn't feel like it after all that day or made some other plans. With the not so good friends we do message a bit earlier and either reschedule or just cancel..... Idk don't take it personally.

>>18583500
Yes.

yes, but if you like it that way then dont

I think your hair color is awesome.

You can also try side-parting, maybe some mousse on the roots to give it some volume before you cut it off.

I would not go too short, though.

yeah i have, and she broke up with my recently because i didn't back off and let her have her way with it

if you value your relationship learn to let her have her way with arguments until she cools down, then you can make it up to her in the bedroom

Meh.
Reminds me when a long-time boyfriend broke up with me. "I think you're not in love with me, you don't argue with me, all my friends say that girls argue about shit all the time."
I was like wtf?! But he was serious about this bs, and so we parted ways.
Since then I'm convinced you heterosexual guys love the drama, just pretend to hate it.
Unfortunately I still like compromises and I don't mind who is right or wrong, so I wonder if I'll get into a long term relationship again.

>>18583515
are you a troll?

For life.

You're fucked.

No but, seriously, just Google it like a normal person would.

>>18583488
Tried that. Difficult to get a straight answer.

>>18583495
The quick answer is this: The half-life of Klonopin/Clonazepam is between 18-50 hours, depending on a wide variety of factors (primarily metabolic rate). This means that the amount of Klonopin in your system divides in half every 18-50 hours, so take 1mg and 18-50 hours later you have .5mg left in your system, another 18-50 hours pass and you have 0.25mg in your system, etc. etc.

Does that answer your question?

There's nothing anyone here can tell you that will stop you from being a stupid bitch.

>>18583483
>How can I stop this cycle, while also keeping our relationship fresh, exciting and happy for both of us?

You're kind of trying to have your cake and eat it too there.

Nothing stays the same forever.
All relationships have to grow and evolve.

Wishing you'd permanently stay in the fresh, exciting, and happy phase is trying to delude yourself, and this doubly so when you're trying to suppress your emotions and inner doubts in order to achieve that.

If you want this relationship to be stable, to grow, and to become more, you need to talk to him about what you're feeling and where this is all coming from.

You say you don't believe in "soul mates" and that's fine.

Having a predestined, unshakable connection to someone that materializes out of nowhere is a pretty fantastical and childish sounding concept.

But conversely, if you DON'T believe in soul mates, that means you probably believe in building connections. That your relationships have to be earned, fought for, and grown through hardships and shared experiences.

You can't say, "I don't want to deal, and I'm going to run away and pretend nothing is happening, hoping he pretends the same" while also saying "I want be happy honeymoon relationship that never fades", that's naive at best.

Talk to him.

Somethings got to change.

I would recommend this book called Hold Me Tight. It's this book that focuses on Emotion-Focused Therapy and also looks into attachment styles. Basically, when we're kids, we turn to our parents for comfort, security, and attachment. We have this deep need to connect with other human beings, and we depend on having a solid, connected relationship with them in order to feel confident enough to venture out into the world knowing they'll be there to comfort us if we need it.

Society likes to say that human beings shouldn't rely on anyone else for their happiness and shouldn't depend on anyone or else there's something wrong with us. But the way we are as infants and small children, needing and relying on connection, carries over into adulthood. You are emotionally attached to your partner and depend on them for comfort much like a child is with their parent.

Pretty much every fight and argument can be boiled down into one or both partners worrying about the answers to the question "Are you really there for me? Do you have my back? Can I depend on you to comfort me and hold me and love me, or is it not safe to do that with you?"

Who hurt you OP? What pain have you suffered?

>>18583459
Nope chatting at them and oogling at them aint against the law

>>18583459
>this is my way of getting back at them.
That's a really weird way of looking at it, but no, there's no law against talking to people as long as you're not making threats or overt sexual harassment

think before you talk.
this 20 yo virgin future programmer had chance to fuck with 22 big tities future lawyer with decent sex expierence, but he talked shit about her family - got cockblocked and no more chance to loose virginity

>>18583422
he still has plenty of chances to lose his virginity, but I see what you mean. big titties lawyer is very good.

you think I should make a habit of always thinking before I speak? I feel like only one of the two extremes is possible for my spergy brain.

>>18583429
not that guy but yes. if you happen to say dumb shit by accident then do so.

Also, should I now go back around and introduce myself to everyone 6 months later, or should I just pay it no mind and move on with my life?

>>18583386
No. Unless there's something I'm missing, your neighbor is the asshole in this story.

>>18583386
Somewhat. I think it's a good idea that people in your neighborhood know who you are, for example in this situation. Go introduce yourself, it only takes an afternoon. What your neighbor did was unecessarily emotional, but I can understand that it would be annoying for him.

not law for sure
you will be as good as slave and very fucking much stress

>>18583368
All of those are stressful, almost the most stressful possible, are you serious? Maybe if you can become a consultant or something, but you would need years of stressful job experience first anyways. Be a bank teller if you're ok with politics and sucking up. Really any job that you work part-time or 9-5 (exactly, no more, period). Going into education isn't a bad choice (on the administration side, not the dirty teaching side lol) How about library administration? It pays well and is clean.

>>18583406
really, programming is stressful? it seems like it would be a relatively low stress thing. I can see the others being stressful, though

you cant, just over time u will stop thinking about him/her so much

do sport
or other things that require high concentration

>>18583375
I'd rather her be out of my head sooner than later

reason with some details pls

another solution fap, or actual sex with new girl
if not ready do self improvement - decide where you lacking and try becoming better

>>18583355
Why do you want to keep him in your circle of friends? If it's only because he's been part of the group for a while, get rid of him

get rid of him
or ignore
or start acting like him and pointing out his mistakes without listening and furter arguing
use passive agressive jokes (he confused, you feel better)
but really u should get rid of him

>>18583359
>>18583366
I know, but this is the last option. Any other solution is welcome.

>>18583349
You start learning to program, and you never stop. You keep learning programming languages, you read increasingly obscure forums and magazines, you read other people's dissertations and publications, you go to conferences to find contacts, mentors, and colleagues. You never stop doing any of that. You keep doing it for 10 hours every day for the rest of your life.

>>18583365
Damn. So programming is the north star I should follow and everything will be self explanatory from there?

1/2

>>18583374
No. Programming is your toolbox, the more you know, they more tools you have at your disposal. Without programming you won't even be able to start on your journey. The only way to journey is to build the vehicles you want to use yourself. This means you have to actually write computer programs that become increasingly complex. On very rare occasions you'll create a wonder in a day, more often you'll stare at the screen going through hundreds or thousands of lines of code one by one wondering why this piece of shit you wrote doesn't do what you want it to.
To go back to the metaphor, you'll probably start by building a simple raft consisting of one tree trunk and try to paddle that thing up a paved road. Then you'll make some rollerskates and attempt to go up the river with those. Then you manage to build a proper canoe and find out that the river has disappeared and now you need a bicycle. There is no star to follow. You're wanting to head into a field that changes and develops all the time, knowledge you gain today may be obsolete in two years, or still valid in 20.

Sure, there are programs written by others you can use if you want to bypass a password, or encrypt something, or log what someone is doing on a particular computer. That's like a child being allowed to turn the ignition key to start the car its parent is driving. Try driving yourself and you'll hit a tree if you're lucky, and a person if you're not, the police will come and your parents will have a load of trouble to sort out.
Funny how well that fits with both driving and programming/hacking, actually.

how old u and he?
how do you know him?
need details

>>18583357
he's in my trade union, he's about seven years older, so there's a slight maturity gap.

we worked together on a job in the recent past.

i think he is a very nice man and i am sexually attracted to him but i find him distant in communication. we bonded over working together. he's more of an action than words guy and i feel like i'll have to get physical with him to move the relationship forward.

i guess the biggest question i have is why it's so hard for me to make up my mind about a guy. i know i want a relationship but it takes me so long to know how i feel about someone. how do i know i should move things forward?

There's no real way a girl can mess up when asking a dude out, just make it casual I guess.
"Hey have you seen [insert movie title] is out? We should totally go see it if you're down."
Even if he doesn't give a shit about the certain movie he'll say yes, unless he's not into you ofc...