Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 736. page

>>18589288
Go up to her and ask her for a lighter. Then just be like, "hey, I recognize you - didn't we meet at ___?"

Chat a bit, then "I work around here too. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?"

Cmon, this one is a no-brainer

>>18589307
What do you reckon the odds of her remembering me would even be?

And was she even interested to begin with? If she was, I came across as a bit shy, so would that have put her off?

>>18589312
1. Who cares? At the very least she will remember being at the bar you met her at, so she'll know you aren't full of shit.

2. Also, who cares? Just ask her to lunch. She came up to you so obviously she isn't repulsed by you. Just shoot your shot and see how it turns out. There's no point in sitting around trying to analyze everything to see if she likes you. You'll never know for sure until you try.

this is usually a symptom of disorganization and lack of short and long term life planning.

how are you living your life right now op?

don't "give your family a hand." It's their own damn fault their poor.

They didn't give you anything growing up, don't bust your ass to support them now.

>>18589278
Listen to Mr.Rollins ...
https://youtu.be/MbnFJVgBcw0

Don't worry bruh. If she cheats, then end it. If you have no irrefutable proof, then continue on. Don't be too clingy, absence makes the heart grow fonder

The low level of contact bothered me, so when we called one night I talked to her about it because I wanted to get it off my chest and we can talk about anything. Her response is that it's been a combination of her being very busy and having poor signal in some places (she's travelling to multiple places, so she's never in a place for more than a few days), and I believe her - I had a feeling this was the case, but I wanted to talk to her about it anyway just to get it off my chest.

She has never given me a reason to believe she would even consider cheating or lying to me, so I don't know why I have this paranoia. The amount that we talk can get quite erratic and infrequent - it could be where we're talking for non-stop, or we hardly exchange a few texts during the day. And then sometimes, we'll be having a conversation and the conversation will literally drop off. And it's not like I initiate all contact - we keep everything well-balanced and it's equal.

I'd like to mention that this is my first relationship ever, so a lot of this is new to me and I don't know what to expect or how to deal with it. Is it normal to be worried if your girlfriend is up to something, even though you have no reason to believe she would do so?

tl;dr - is it normal to feel worried about your girlfriend possibly cheating even when there is absolutely no reason to?

>>18589247
I have no proof whatsoever, and I know she would never do something like it. I think it's mostly about me being insecure because I've never had a girlfriend before or anyone show any kind of interest in me. I have this big insecurity that one day she'll just find someone better than me, get up and leave me for no reason.

99% of the time I'm completely relaxed about this and I feel no doubt or worry at all. But rarely, I will imagine the worst, and it's usually when communication goes radio silent, so then I start to worry and imagine things that are far-fetched.

Just go to a brothel. Or use a site like kaufmich.

>>18589212
Go to any one of the many brothels that are in your city. The only difficulty might be finding a older woman, but somewhere should be able to cater.

>>18589218
>>18589239
But I don't want prostitutes. I want bored and horny mature ladies

My gf insist that I still miss it because of my view of it. I think that its a selfcenterd thing. But my gf disagrees. Her argument is that if it was selfcenterd then I would be okay with other dudes jacking off to her pictures (which im not). She doesnt want that either but she claims that I would have been okay with that if I really thought that it was selfcenterd.

Tldr: I miss porn sometimes but I love my gf. What should I do? I dont miss it nearly as much as I did in the beginning

>>18589178
Also, she think that its still a problem because I get cravings to look at porn once a month. I think that we have solved this since I havent been looking at anything for a year. I really dont know what to do.

idk but that one is cringe and not funny. it was way better when it was just an image macro used to bully robots.

>>18589169
Ask your parents. They made a good meme before

>>18589169
Funny and not forced. If someone sets out to 'make a meme' then chances are it will be shit.

>>18589164
>narcissism
Maybe she isn't as into you as you think.

You have to be more forward. "I already told you I'm not interested, there is nothing else to say. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't revisit this topic." She starts again? "I have been very clear about my lack of interest. You are making me uncomfortable. Please stop." Again? "If you push this issue one more time I will go to HR. I'd rather not. Leave me be."

She needs to learn to take a no.

>>18589181

I may be full of myself and tend to think from time to time how something might be related to me when it's discussed and such, but her coming forward and actually asking me out does count as being into someone, or at least it did last time I checked.

>>18589182

I said the first thing, or a variation thereof, but the second just sounds... I don't know, kind of like pleading?

Also, I can't go to HR. She doesn't work for the same company, we literally just happen to share the lunch/break area because it's the only one in the 3 floor building.

>>18589162

Why are you coming to /adv/? Just look that shit up. Never do it again, please anon.

>>18589166
Sorry mate not in my right mind.
I guess.

That's strange... usually the effect is opposite, it makes you sleepy.

In any case, searching online will give you more answers. There's this website erowid, there you can find a lot about drugs and substances, maybe you'll have an answer there.

>>18589151
I would sit down and have a real grown up talk with her after you kid has gone to bed and put your foot down.

"Look, our daughter deserves a clean home to grow up in. I'm happy having you as a stay at home mom, I think it's best for her, but I am working outside the home. Your work is in the home. Do you think you could keep the house a bit tidier? I am not asking for much, I just need a little more attention to the home for the sake of our family." Something along those lines. If she gets mad, keep your cool and don't raise your voice. Make sure to be clear you aren't critiquing her as a mother or a wife, and that your main concern is the domesticity. Good luck, OP! Thanks for all your hard work and the support you give your family.

>>18589157
>I would sit down and have a real grown up talk with her after you kid has gone to bed and put your foot down.

Thanks for the well thought out response. Your advice is not bad advice, but I've tried it already. She claims to understand what I'm asking, says she agrees that's what she should do, and says she understands my feelings. But nothing changes. Days go by with no change, then weeks, then a month.

When I bring up the subject she accuses me of being nit-picky and says "you're just trying to pick fights". Its maddening and I really need a new strategy.

>>18589151
she won't do shit unless you make it clear that you're willing and able to get the fuck out of the relationship if she can't even keep the fucking home clean. man, the level of entitlement of some modern women ist astounding.

The rules are agreed upon by the people in the FWB dynamic. However kissing outside of sex is indeed typical to avoid in these arrangements because it is at that point more affectionate/romantic than sexual which makes it easier for lines to get blurred.

He didn't respond because he didn't want to fuck. Could be because he was with another girl, could be because he was drunk and afraid he couldn't get it up, could be because he didn't feel like it, could be because you did something wrong - but the latter is definitely not the most likely. There's a cultural trope that men want to fuck whenever wherever and this makes most men shy to come out and say no to sex if something's in the way.

Talk to him about it, not with the opening "what's going on?", just suggest that you should talk through both you expectations (have you even discussed exclusivity, for example?) and the rules you want to uphold. You can find another guy but just because you have a FWB doesn't mean they're ready to fuck you whenever you want. Plus it's not -that- easy to find someone you trust, are sexually compatible with, find attractive, are on the same page with in regards to FWBs etc. So it seems more practical to me to make sure that this doesn't work out, first.

>>18589158
Yeah, we need to talk about rules. I don't think he actually wants to talk to me right now though. When we were regular friends he'd text me everyday, but he hasn't texted me at all since the last time we had sex. Which is why I got confused, before all this he would've responded quickly.

I'm not sure if I even want to confront him. I'm nervous about hanging out in our bigger friend group because they'll invite him too and it'll be awkward. Our friends are nosy so we both agreed not to tell them. I'll try texting him but I just don't want to bother him.

Am I being too self involved? I feel like I'm being a cunt.

>>18589125
Reading something like this makes me think that Sharia Law wouldn't be that bad.

>>18589081
Sure, it's my favourite pastime

>>18589081
Why should you care if they do or not?

nope I would prefer one since I'm one too

To take her out of your mind? Go meet other.

To get with her? Talk to her...?

You can do it

Use your love for your waifu to study and become a better person.

>>18589076
Good luck. Not many white men go Muslim.

>>18589076
You're going to have to make one become Muslim for your pussy.

White men aren't going to give up beer or bacon. The only white muslims you will find are in places like Bosnia, but even they will enjoy beer and bacon.

>>18589060
eating so little is very bad for your health, keep it at 3 meals with minimum fat a day without deserts and do some basic exercises everyday like pushups/situps. together with a normal protein intake this wil enhance your fat burning. 20 kgs is not something you can lose healthily in a short amount of time, but if you really don't care you can try 2 meals and a snack a day, however make sure you don't eat treats throughout and especially don't drink soda.

weight loss needs to happen as slowly as possible, or you WILL reck your body
even 2 lbs. a week is too fast

>>18589060
You're not so overweight where you can and need to force yourself to be that drastic with weight loss. Plus, you're going to make yourself feel like your head isn't there and perhaps pass out doing something so ridiculous and many other side effects can happen like the stress causing you to lose hair. You're also going to make your body eat away muscle along with the fat and muscle is important because the more you have, the more your body will naturally calories.

What I do is just eat small snacks through out the day. Counting calories, weighing food and looking at the nutritional value sounds difficult, but it's really not and you become used to it.
This is an interesting website that can tell you how many calories and the weight you can get every week if you work for it and focus. http://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php

Also, why do you keep capitalizing words in the middle of a sentence?

Well OP, time is never wasted if you're enjoying it.

That being said, you could probably get a lot more benefits from learning Spanish, French, Arabic, Russian or other world languages.

Japanese is a very niché language not often spoken outside of Japan (except for Japanese games/media I suppose).
Not only that, it is very hard to learn and master - I think you can learn Spanish and French in the time you can even begin to master the basics of Japenese.

But in the end there's absolutely nothing you "should" learn, it seems you don't even know what you want. You mention learning something for fun but regret doing it because of your.. work prospects? It being fun should be motivation enough for you to do it. If not then you don't like doing it enough to motivate you.

>>18589038
I meant I am motivated to do it, but I'm worried about wasting time, I don't know what's more important, fun or saving time/benefits

>>18589046
Learning Japanese is a massive time sink, and if you are only doing it to gain workplace or career benefits, it's definitely a waste of time, since you can probably pick up multiple easy to learn world languages in that time. Even the Japanese alphabet is very large and complicated.

Why can't you start learning BOTH Japanese and another language at the same time? Then you have one timesink that will give you the benefits that you want, and one "useless" one that is simply for fun.

Learning multiple languages at the same time is not as bad as it sounds, I am learing Russian and French currently, and I feel like they "boost" the part of my brain I use to learn language, and that it's actually easier to learn languages simultaneously