Hi, anons!
I'm a 20y/o femanon and my boyfriend of 5 months is 24y/o. We are radically different people:
Me:
>introvert who likes to spend time at home alone (go out with maybe 2 friends 3 times a month watching movies, etc)
>have only 2 people I really consider friends and a handful of other aquaintances
>am deeply nerdy and intellectual
>am not close with my family at all so I have no family life
>poor immigrant family
>spend most of my time at work/school/home
>quiet
My boyfriend:
>is extremely extroverted and outgoing
>confident and assertive
>has a lot of friends who he spends time with
>is the opposite of nerdy
>has a very active social media life
>comes from a white middle-class family
>is really close with his family
He is very loving and caring. He tells me he appreciates me, but we've only been dating for 5 months so we are still in our honeymood phase.
He goes out to drink at bars and at parties without me (I live in the US, I can't drink yet). His facebook is filled with pictures of him and friends. It sounds terrible but I honestly feel so worthless whenever he tells me he's out drinking with his friends and I'm just home on my computer. He will ask me if I'm doing anything fun for the weekend and I tell him that I'll be home, usually. My facebook is pretty much unused. He wants to meet my family but I'm not even close to them. It would be uncomfortable as it is having dinner with them without my boyfriend. My friends are really different from him. We don't party and are pretty mellow. I feel like I can't offer him anything other than myself.
We are just dating and get along well, but when it comes to meeting friends and family, I just DREAD it.
The thing is that I'm happy with the way I am, the nerdy parts and all. It's just that I feel worthless when I compare my social life to his. Has anyone ever experienced this? It's giving me so much stress. I am also inexperienced in dating, having only dated someone else for 7months before him. Thanks!
>>16473727
Did you stop for a second to think that there's a reason why he's with you? Why do you have to complicate things? Why are you making a problem where there is none?
Women, I swear to God
>>16473727
>I feel like I can't offer him anything other than myself.
Yourself IS all you have to offer, it's all anyone has to offer, and that's wonderful! He's with YOU because YOU is what he wants.
>>16473758
I can control my actions (I'm very sweet to him and I haven't told him that this has been bothering me) but I can't control my emotions. Do you think I choose to feel this way?
This has been really stressing me out lately. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
If alumni won't respond to your inquiries for coffee/phone interviews; what's the chances of total strangers responding?
I'm getting a feeling alumni don't help anyone in my university, which is why everyone is so lost. I'm about to go on a limb and contact fucking strangers of all people for coffee meetings
So what do you think? Before you ask, I've followed up 3 times per person; total of 4 people I've contacted so far and all of them didn't respond.
Wall Street oasis recommends to hit up as many people as you can even if you're not part of the same university. Has that ever worked for anyone?
>>16473619
What are you looking for, job prospects or a dick to suck? Only some schools are good with alums, most people don't rely on alums for jobs.
>>16473636
>What are you looking for, job prospects or a dick to suck? Only some schools are good with alums, most people don't rely on alums for jobs.
Good job prospects obviously. I've been told time after time again by my professor that sending resumes through the black hole of doom and recruiters that don't know shit won't get me anywhere, and that I have to network. I'm graduating in 3 months and don't have a job; I'm currently working a dead end one just for money in retail.
I don't know where you got the idea that most people don't rely on alums. Assuming this is true and only some schools can pull it off, my only real option is contacting strangers that I can connect with on some level and developing rapport, right?
How often do strangers receive cold emails and respond to students?
>>16473649
What kind of field are you in that you are relying on alums? It's ridiculous. You think if you want to work for a large corporate they give a shit what school you went to? THEY FUCKING HIRE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
I'm facing an existential crisis, /adv/. Why am I here? I mean, I understand how biologically we came to be, but what about ME, as in the consciousness? Isn't it absurd that I am fully self aware now, but in the future, I'll die and lose it all? Maybe, but it's certainly depressing as hell. I can't even call it depressing, because objectively, feelings don't matter since we'll all die anyway. The only reason I'm asking for advice is that I remember being happy at one point. I want to be distracted from the whole scary concept of mortality, preferably without hard drugs or alcohol. What do?
maybe this point of view will help you a little bit:
people say that we are our brain, and that if we could somehow recreated our body the same way it is, we would regain life/consciousness
suppose that time and the universe is going to be infinite, that means that the future possibilities are infinite too
that means that by chance, in the future someone will be born with the exact characteristics that we have
would this person be us or someone else? what are we exactly? can we ever experience something other than being alive?
>>16473628
That's interesting and all, but nonetheless, I know I exist (as my consciousness). I also know that as I am know with MY consciousness, nothing else will ever be ME in (for lack of a better term) conscious identity. I'm done.
>>16473617
That's why religions have the concept of an afterlife, so our consciousness will live on.
Suffice it to say that parts of who you are will remain, parts will die when you do. It's something every living thing goes through in the bargain we got offered (life).
So, I've been texting with this girl that I haven't seen since middle school, things were going well and she showed hints of attraction (she even told me that she had a crush on me back then).
Last week we met at her house and had a drink and all that, everything was going ok but nothing happened and we kept texting eachother until two days ago when she just stopped with her messages (she was the one that started the convo most of the time) and everytime we actually have a conversation she stops answering after an hour or so and changes subject everytime I talk about meeting again.
Yesterday I asked her about what was going on and she just told me that she was busy with stuff from college but I don't think that's what's happening.
Did I fuck up /adv/? Sorry for the bad english.
Pic related.
it looks like you fucked up by not making a move early enough
yes, she might be truly busy about the college stuff, but when people are truly interested they will find time one way or another
i'm no relationship expert, but people say that being clingy usually kills the attraction
>>16473556
That's what I was thinking, but the thing that really bugs me is that we kept talking normally after that (we met on wednesday) but then on sunday BOOM nothing.
Also, I forgot to say but she keeps throwing hints whenever I talk to her.
Is there something that I can do about this? I really like this grill.
So I'm in high school and my parents caught me with some drugs. They're kinda pissed and treat me like shit now. I can sense my family really doesn't like me now. Thinking about leaving home and going to some random city and starting over, but if I do I won't get my diploma. Also don't have a car. Should I leave home or stick it out?
Please help cause 4chan is kinda my last hope for advice
Stay, getting caught isnt the end of the world, just find a way to work that out with them. modern society just dosnt work out well with dropouts.
Was it weed?
Hey there. So I'm in a programming course in a Canadian college currently. I'm a bit above average at it, but some people in my course aren't, specifically a girl we'll call K. K is maybe a 7-8/10, but is terrible at programming.
Because she's bad at it and probably needs better marks, I'm considering offering her copies of my code (modified of course) in exchange for sexual favours. However, I'm not sure if that is legal. Does that fall under prostitution? I am aware that it probably violates the school's policies of academic honesty but I don't think I'll get caught.
Also, how would I go about proposing such an arrangement to her in a way that can't be traced back to me? Should I just talk to her IRL with no one around?
>>16473394
>Should I just talk to her IRL with no one around?
i guess thats the best way as there is no proof in that case. if you want to be super cautious use formulations that are ambigious to some extend.
>>16473411
Eh the stuff so far is pretty easy. I'll make mutilate my existing code and change some things, she won't know the difference anyways.
Also would this count as extortion?
>>16473394
>Does that fall under prostitution?
Yes. That's still trading something of value for sexual favors.
>Because she's bad at it and probably needs better marks, I'm considering offering her copies of my code (modified of course) in exchange for sexual favours.
Seriously, this is going to backfire on you so hard. Don't ruin your life for a brief moment of pleasure.
So, I feel as if I've got a kind of disability, not exactly sure what it could be, so please give me a hand.
I'm fairly good at English while writing/typing, but I struggle to get words out while speaking sometimes. I muddle them up, and fumble with my words, and I've been like this my whole life.
What could this be?
plz help
thought disorder?
the description you gave is far too nebulous. it can mean many things, it can even be symptomatic of schizophrenia, but let's not get into that.
>>16473383
During basic conversations, it's almost like random words come out. I start trying to pronounce, or say a different word that shouldn't be there.
Normally half way through, I stop myself and get back onto normal conversation.
People always bring up that my english skills are lacking, or I need to improve on it. But I just simply can't.
>>16473404
your brain is made of peas and every day it gets a little more mashed
so it is 7pm it is dark out I am getting ready to leave my job but there is this guy in a hoodie that has been walking back and forth by my job all day now that I am getting ready to head out he is just standing right next to the door should I wait for just leave I am kind of scared I don't work in a good area
Have multiple people leave with you or consider calling the police. If it's a situation where the guy in question has been loitering outside for over 1.5hrs it could be a set up.
Have 911 on speed dial and carry a small pen in your pocket as a defensive opportunity weapon.
Sack up nigga. Hit beat him if he gets aggressive.
Go out with a box cutter or a knife from work if necessary and gut him if possible.
If he has a thick jacket go for the neck and make sure to go deep and cut broadly so that you do not miss the sweet spot.
If it's a light cotton jacket as I mentioned before aim for wherever.
Just be careful as work box cutters are generally shitty depending on the type.
Call the police, your better safe than sorry
My girlfriend of 5 years and mother of our 4 year old has decided to, "Take a break", effectively creating a single dad in the process.
It has been 2 weeks, and she has been by to visit a couple of times, but how long should I wait for her?
I know people need space, but I don't want to be left in the dark in all of this and I want her to stay because she wants to, not because she has to.
I don't want my daughter growing up without a mother, and I will do whatever it takes to ensure her a well off life.
What do?
>>16473319
>Girlfriend of five years
>Mother of four year old
>Had your kid one year into dating
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
>>16473327
Thank-you for the advice.
>>16473346
Aaaaaaahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha Oh wow what a nig nog.
So I need some help /adv/. My gf is a huge gamer, really skilled, spends most of her time playing, whereas I am more of an outdoors type and (up until I met her) never played a game in my life. We've been doing less and less stuff together so one day I decided it might be a good idea to try and fire up the console and see if I could play a game (Call of Duty: Black Ops II, if it matters). I read the manual to learn how to play and then went to an online server–predictably, I sucked. I always got killed within 10 seconds and soon enough decided it wasn't worth it.
Hoping that it was just a one-time bad experience, when she came home I asked her if there was a good game I should try out and if we could play together. Everything was just pretty much the same–either I sucked at it, or it just didn't interest me. And of course she thrashed me every time in multiplayer mode so it wasn't a challenge for her.
She is not interested in anything like hiking, cycling, jogging PERIOD, so if I want to make the relationship work I need to get onboard with her hobbies.
And I need you to tell me the best course of action and how I should do it. Should I
A) try and get better at the games and/or find an angle from which they can interest me?
B) keep trying to convince my gf to do outdoors stuff?
C) ignore outdoors AND gaming and hope that the relationship will still work out?
D) get a new gf?
E) something different entirely?
Any advice appreciated, kinda stuck at this point.
>>16473195
Bait thread
1/10 got me to reply
There are more physical activities than just cardio, lift brah.
Swimming, yoga, tae bo. Push for low-medium impact first.
Just like all the games your gf owns aren't all that exist in the world.
Start with sandbox types like the sims or minecraft.
This is a thread for general relationship tips.
What makes a relationship last for the long run?
What can you do to keep the relationship fresh?
What are the keys to a happy relationship and marriage?
>>16473183
Whatever you do it'll die
Enjoy life
>>16473206
this
1.) Keep open lines of communication. If anything is ever bugging or nagging away at you, speak up, and speak up soon. Don't sit on it and let it fester or build up until it becomes something explosively toxic. Resentment is the worst feelings in a relationship.
2.) Stop and remember to enjoy the small moments. Grand gestures and big events can be fun to think about, but often times it's the little moments that make a relationship magical. It's lazing away in bed whilst idly chatting, it's that dumb joke you made while stuck in traffic, it's the way you make each other smile when you greet each other after a long day. Don't get distracted by the big moments so much that you forget to enjoy the small.
3.) Don't be afraid to change it up and experiment. It doesn't have to be something big, it can be as simple as trying a new place to eat every week, or picking up a sport like tennis, or a new dance class, or exploring a new city every month, or country every year, anything. Just try something new and keep trying to expand your horizons together, so you both keep growing, and growing in your relationship. Do new things together.
4.) Give each other space to be your own individuals. Yes, you should share things with your partner, but you and your partner are two separate entities, and your goal in a relationship isn't to find someone who you can assimilate and merge with, it's to find someone you can grow and become a better person with; someone who complements you and helps you expand your horizons, not someone who IS you and shares all your same faults. To that end, you need to be able to maintain your own identity so that you can both keep growing as individuals, which allows your combined growth as a couple to reach higher and higher peaks.
Asylum seeker from a 3rd world country living in England. Not allowed to get a job, not allowed to move out of country. Not allowed to have a bank account.
Been in this predicament for almost 4 years now with no sign of it ending and have recently turned 20.
I've watched all my friends and rivals grow up, get jobs and find love while I'm still stuck in this same shit hole with very little to survive on. I did find a gf and it lasted a year and a half until a month ago when she got tired of waiting for me to get a stable status. She recently fucked someone else, broke my heart.
I loved to keep an active lifestyle and went to the gym 5x a week but that was in college and now I don't know what to do since I'm home 24/7. Tried applying for voluntary work but none of them ever call back
>>16473151
go back to your own county...
>>16473182
no can do bud.
>>16473217
Oh well your fucked it seems.
Get into black market work or something if you can't work or do what the spics in America do and work cheap construction/labour jobs.
Or just go back to your fucking country as anon said.
What country if I may ask?
I don't understand this shit /adv/. Hoping someone else with anxiety problems can help me out.
When I'm at work, I feel perfectly fine. I can interact with co-workers and others no problem and no worries. I don't feel worked up or anything. However, it's just the opposite when I'm off work. When I'm on my days off I feel very on edge if I have to go be around other people, such as going to the store. And it's weird because even if I'm going somewhere that I actually want to go I feel awkward and uncomfortable. It doesn't make sense why I can be around tons of people at work and feel ok, but I feel like shit when I'm off the clock.
>>16473149
I'm exactly the same and it's a real headfuck I hate being in crowds of people - stresses me out. It sucks massively but you're not alone
>>16473187
Like today I went to the gun store to look at some accessories for a new rifle I just bought. That's a place I WANTED to go to. But I felt so awkward and nervous inside the store for literally no reason. I don't get it, it doesn't make sense to me. Why would I have anxiety for going somewhere I like
>>16473194
I wish I knew, if I go anywhere it has to be with purpose and do what I need to do and leave without stopping. if people get in my way by dawdling or being slow, I get stressed and annoyed and just want to get out of there as soon as I can.
What does it even mean to be a "man"? I wonder because I have no idea if I am being a man about some things. I feel like I am incapable of doing so much. I can't handy man fix things. I can't drive, can't change a tire, can't grill food on like a charcoal grill or whatever. I can't flirt and I don't boss people around and "make shit happen."
WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN TO BE A MAN?! Women shit all over men for not being able to do "manly shit". What the fuck does it all mean? For example, I want to meet a woman that I spoke with online in boston. I don't live in boston, I live in fucking cape cod.
What would a real man do in this situation? Keep in mind, I can't drive. How would a "real" man go about meeting this woman?
>>16473135
>What would a real man do in this situation? Keep in mind, I can't drive. How would a "real" man go about meeting this woman?
A real man would learn how to drive, get his license, buy himself a car with his own hard earned money, and then do whatever the fuck he wants. A big part of being a man is being independent and getting shit done.
To take responsibility for the fulfillment of your wants and needs.
It's not that changing a tire is inherently manly in some way. It's just that if you drive, you might come upon the need to change a flat tire. The burden of fulfilling that responsibility rests squarely on your shoulders. Being able to step up to that burden is the mark of a man.
Men embrace personal responsibility and do what it takes to fulfill it.
>>16473145
I feel like cars shouldn't be a part of this. I actually have a license but no car. Cars are so fucking expensive and the insurance company are total jews. How is it that they get to charge males under 25 more money than females of the same age...?
How do I tell my gf that her snatch smells like suschi without hurting her feelings? She nags that I don't go down on her enough and the last time I did (3 weeks ago) I nearly vomited between her legs.
This is becoming 'flat-fuck' torture.
Be more concerned that she may have a yeast infection problem.
Stop putting your nasty dick in her so often, the vagina needs a two day cleaning break between days of sex.
>>16473065
OOOOOOOH SHIIIIIT. We gotta winna!! Butthurt femanon...really? I know your sensitive and shit but I like your style. No really...you ladies have cottage cheese down their way before the shredder slices it. Natural fact.
>>16473077
That's the freshness seal of approval we have to rinse away before you pound it, faggot.