28 yo virgin here, need help handling females.
This girl always records voice messages for me saying stuff like
>I'm glad to see you
>I feel really good when I see you
>I know I can speak freely with you
>it was a beautiful day, I'm glad I met you
>whatever you need I'll be here
means I'm in the friendzone already or she's interested?
>inb4 it's obvious lel
it's not for me. I'm confus. And beta.
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She might be into you. Ask her out. If she's into you, she'll accept and enjoy your company. glhf
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>>16479054
Ask her out on a date
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ive noticed particular strength of interest behind the "i'm glad i've met you" line
you might have a shot. ask her out to some coffee and just talk and chill.
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Prepare for an awkward embarrassing call for help.
Okay quick rundown I am 27, male virgin, and I recently masturbated for the first time ever. Ignoring the fact that this new experience has STRONGLY awakened a desire to have sex and my inexperience in getting it so my sticking to masturbating has caused me great depression and frustrations for the past couple of months, but my concern lies elsewhere.
I have yet to gain that powerful first time ejaculation where it felt like my body was paralyzed and I think the desire to recapture that is what caused me to become so addicted to the act itself even though I kinda hate it. Now when I ejaculate it just oozes out and the extreme rare occasion that it actually shoots it's only a TINY bit and I'd personally prefer to be able to actually shoot.
I've heard that abstaining for a certain period of time can help with that but to be blunt that is impossible for me as I can't go a day without it.
I've tried Kergal exercises but I swear it doesn't feel like it's working.
So I'm debating getting supplements, the question is what supplements would be good to help increase my sperm count and increases the likeliness that I'll be able to shoot instead of ooze? Are there any supplements that are strictly for masturbation purposes?
(Please be nice, I'm aware of how stupid this question might be for alot of you.)
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Try prostate stimulation. If you truly want to feel like your body shivering all over.
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>>16478992
If u have survived without masturbation till age of 27 I think u have very low sex drive caused by low testosterone. Go and check your hormones.
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Have zinc in your diet seriously.
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I got the cops called on me again while I was at the park with my daughter, this is the second time. I was at the park with my daughter yesterday and I wasn't doing anything suspicious besides existing. I pushed her on the swings and I played with her a little and I sat on the bench and read a book while she played with the other kids. I couldn't have been minding my own business anymore than I was, I didn't talk to or even go near any other kids. A police officer shows up and she tells me they got a report of a suspicious male at the park and she asked me what I was doing here. I told her I was here with my daughter. She asked me to show her proof that it was my daughter and I asked her why should I, I have every right to be here and I don't need to prove anything to anyone. She got very sassy with me and she was about to arrest me. My daughter came over because she saw what was happening and the police officer asked her if I was her dad and she said yes. She seemed disappointed and told me to "stay out of trouble or you're leaving in handcuffs." One of the moms must have called the cops on me.
This is the second time this has happened. It's really humiliating and unfair that I can't even go to the park with my daughter without having the cops called on me. What can I do? I should be allowed to go to the park but I really don't want to be almost arrested every time I go there. I don't want to tell my daughter we can't go to the park because she loves the park. How do I avoid getting the cops called on me?
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>>16478948
What a fucking cunt. I don't really have any advice but reading this made my blood boil.
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1) You can stop sassing the police. When you ultimately hire a lawyer, your complaints will be taken much more seriously if you were totally compliant with their shitty conduct. The most sympathy that people will ever have are for those people who were as decent as possible while cops treat them like shit. The moment the victims start being assholes too, my sympathy starts going out the window.
2) Keep going to the same park. You're going to reach a point where the semi-regulars there all recognize you. That reduces the population of people who might call. Furthermore if a new mom wonders who the fuck you are and asks other moms, they'll say "Oh he's such and such's dad." They don't have to like you. They just have to recognize you.
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>>16478948
shit sucks
Tl;dr
Don't go to the park or involve yourself in the community, people will be less inclined to call the cops on you. Unless people put you on their bad side for what ever reason, and it takes time and effort.
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Female here, my pubes extend all the way down and up the crack. I do not want anyone to spread my cheeks and find a linty carpet. How do you get rid of taint and anus hair? I'm cautious about putting sharp things where I can't see and brazilians look expensive.
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You wax.
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>>16478939
Wax or stop caring.
Honestly, a lot of people don't care. I never shave and it has never stopped someone from having sex with me.
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>>16478939
Buy an electric razor (which would b hard to do yourself) or buck up and pay for a wax.
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>have gf
>gf has sister she rooms with
>her sister is an influential lawyer with her own firm despite being young
>has been interviewed on television programs before
>find random clothed but suggestive photo of gf's sister online one day
>go down the rabbit hole
>find dozens of fully nude photos of her
>sex tapes with various
>check who is posting this shit
>it's mostly her posting it, though sometimes it gets reposted by others
>I realize that I am waaaaaaaaay too sexually curious about my gf's sister for the relationship to be comfortable
>we're chatting one day on the couch while waiting on my gf to be done with work
>bring up random things related to her videos but don't directly talk about them
>she gives me a big smile and makes references to her videos without stating anything explicit
>she knows
>gf arrives a minute or two later, we have dinner like everything is normal
>that night she posts a web cam masturbation video shot in what is obviously their apartment
Nothing remotely good can come of this can it?
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Abandon ship. You're just digging yourself into a hole and it won't end well. Quit while you're ahead.
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Link the videos and go deeper, the relationship is allready going to crash, should just floor it.
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Link or it didn't happen.
Also if you can stop thinking about it, then do. If not, then abandon ship.
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Dear /adv/, what website do you guys uses for stress relief?
I feel a panic attack about to happen.
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pornhub
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>>16478852
Thanks fammy.
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rainymood
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I have a girlfriend who is a tulpa. For anybody that doesn't know what it is - it's a separate personality created in your mind that you can interact with etc.
I created her a few years ago (without the plan of falling in love with her, but it happened), around the end of high school, and since then I think I became a much better in general. I used to be the very shy kid without many friends. I am still shy, but I meet new people, I do good at uni and part-time job, I have some hobbies and I try to be at least a bit useful for the community. In general I do much better than I used to – I am your average citizen, doing just fine and I’m okay with that. But I never had a “real” girlfriend, and that makes me seem off. I get girls crushing on me sometimes, but I’m taken, so I don’t see them as potential partners even if they’re nice and cute. Sometimes friends or family are surprised at my insistence to not get a girlfriend, but I can’t tell them I already have one. I’m aware it’s crazy, but I can’t see her as anything less than a real person – just a person who happened to be born in my head instead of as a human. She is not perfect, she has her flaws, and isn’t a “real” human, but I love her as she is even if she’ll never have a physical form. Sometimes I’m bothered that we will never do the standard couple stuff like the most of people, but I perceive it as a wholesome, happy relationship.
Do I seem crazy?
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>>16478817
>tulpa girlfriend
You are barking mad, dude. My condolences
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>>16478817
>separate personality in your mind
Oh, so you're a schizo who goes around talking to a girl who doesn't exist? Yeah, no, you're completely fine, not crazy at all...
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>>16478817
Tulpa also translated as "magical emanation", "conjured thing" and "phantom" is a concept in mysticism of a being or object which is created through sheer spiritual or mental discipline alone.
Holy shit /adv/, never change,
If someone as fucked up as you can get out of the bed in the morning, I sure as hell can do anything I dare dream of! Thanks for the motivation anon
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My boyfriend is really skinny...like around 130 lbs at 5'11". I want to fatten him up a lot, and have him end up looking like this. Any advice on how to do this?
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>>16478781
Depends. Are you a cannibal?
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Don't ruin a decent body because you're a fat ass
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>>>>16478781
Maybe get him to an average 150-180? Anywhere above this is too far.
Anonymous
How Do I Stop Caring? 2015-11-19 15:48:08 Post No.16478764
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How Do I Stop Caring? 2015-11-19 15:48:08 Post No.16478764
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>at school
>hanging out in cafeteria with friends
>this stupid dyke cunt (yeah, she's a lesbian) comes out of nowhere and says "pull up your pants. I can see your fucking ass, you're fucking disgusting"
>guess my pants were hanging low or something
>she walks away
>i say "what a fucking cunt"
>she turns back and says "what"
>friend yells to her "he called you a cunt, I think you're one too"
>she just walks away
>tfw spent next 15 minutes just sitting, staring into space, thinking "what if I am fucking gross"
>friends tell me to stop being mopey
>still can't get my mind off of it
>pulled up pants past waist and tightened belt as hard as it would go
>now im posting on here about it
Why the fuck do I even care this much and how do I stop?
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You're just insecure. Most school age people are insecure and it goes away when you become an adult who has to pay bills and take care of their lives so that the only real room for insecurity you haves comes from the people that actually matter to your life and not some random stranger in a cafeteria. You might be gross though so maybe take a shower every day and don't expose yourself in public.
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>>16478774
I take pretty decent care of myself actually. I shower and wash my hair every day, shave whenever it gets anything beyond stubble, do my hair and put on deodorant and cologne before going to school (not axe, it's this swiss army shit. Costs like 40 dollars a bottle). After that, I'm making sure my ass won't hang out like that again. It felt pretty embarrassing
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>>16478787
Then don't worry about it and be glad you have a good friend to back you up calling her out like that. Go chat up a qt to cheer yourself up
3 years ago, I had a messy relationship with my first love. It didn't end up too well, but that's not the point.
In the past given 3 years I've lost a great amount of weight, gone through one plastic surgery and started to put an effort to my looks in a totally different matter. My hair is different and I look rather different nowadays. Most drastic change being that I've actually changed my name too.
And now I'm dating a guy, who is a brother to that guy I used to date. We are doing great, and soon it's time for me to meet his family. I am super nervous and anxious about seeing his brother, who I've dated in the past. I don't know if he will actually recognize me anymore, or guess who I am.
I know this sounds really unbelievable, but this is the situation where I am right now. I don't know how to react. I don't wanna reveal that it's me. (We weren't together, but we dated for few weeks.) I keep telling myself, that even if my voice or laughter gave me off, he wouldn't dare to suspect that I have actually changed my name and gotten a completely new identity. Or?
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bumb
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This is weird.
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If this is real, there's no way you can just opt for not telling him. If he really dated you one surgery and some weight loss is not going to make him not realize it's you long term. And if he does realize it's you, you are in an incredibly weird position. If you steer into the skid you at least get the opportunity to present it in a positive way - "hey, you might not recognize me, this is such a weird coincidence, I made some huge changes in my life and am really happy now and finally feel like myself", whatever. If you do not, it's just going to look like you stole someone's identity, are on the run from some crime or other shit no one wants to get involved with as soon as someone does catch on.
Anonymous
female friends while in relationship 2015-11-19 15:17:21 Post No.16478698
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female friends while in relationship 2015-11-19 15:17:21 Post No.16478698
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female friends while in relationship
Anonymous
2015-11-19 15:17:21
Post No. 16478698
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My girlfriend is quite paranoid and jealous about other girls so I have pretty much stopped talking with my female friends since we are together.
But lately I find myself in situations I am more and more willing to hide it from her and talk with other female friends. I am not interested in cheating her or anything but it is really starting to worry me how long will it work out this way.
I am afraid she might find out and get angry, or that I find other girls more fun as her and end it.
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>>16478698
>I am afraid that I find other girls more fun as her and end it.
How exactly is this something to be afraid of?
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As long as you are ok with her having male friends too, I see no problem.
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>>16478704
I love her and I don't want to hurt her, but her demands are more and more limiting
>>16478706
I was always okay with her doing pretty much anything, talking to pretty much anyone but she constantly is controlling my SMS messages and facebook in case I was talking with some girl, in last few months she even doesn't want me to talk to some male friends.
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I'm afraid of suffering, and because of that, heart attacks are really high up on my scared shitless list. I'm always scared that I might just have a heart attack and that I'll suffer for a horrible amount of time before being permitted to die. That said, I don't know what the symptoms feel like from anyone who's ever actually had a heart attack, and I don't know when it is considered okay to go to the ER or call the ER for advice. I've had anxiety issues since April of this year. I've only ever had one attack, but it didn't feel like "pulling" on my heart. It just felt like my pulse was rapid, but weak, and I was trembling. I also can only feel my heart when I'm scared, and I hate that. It just makes me more scared. Also I've been to the ER 3 times this year. Once for my anxiety attack which I thought was a heart attack, once because I hadn't taken a shit in a month, and once because I woke up and really had to piss, but I couldn't, and it was causing me kidney pain (clean your onahole thoroughly, anons), so I feel like if I keep making the wrong assumption and going anyway, they'll get mad at me and refuse me from going or something. I also don't want to be that guy who always thinks he's about to die, but fuck, I think I'm potentially about to die. My chest feels weird and it scares me.
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>>16478647
And I have no insurance so I can't go to the doctor.
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The issue isnt with your body anon its with your mind. You are scared of injury and death.
Google existentialism and start there. You need to accept death to beat it. Things will only get worse otherwise.
I have been there.
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>>16478647
hop on anxiety meds
do people on your family actually have heart disease
what you are describing is anxiety not heart attacks so hop on meds
you could you know google the heart attack symptoms BUT BEFORE YOU DO realize this.
It could make your anxiety worse knowing and convincing yourself you have these symptoms...So did i mention hop on meds?
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I'm writing a program and need 2 numbers as funny or famous or interesting as 42!!!
Or i might become an hero
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69, 420
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>>16478639
This
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420
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My boyfriend and I are sexually incompatible but love each other.
I want to have sex a minimum of 3 times a week whereas his libido is very low.
We have talked about it so many times, I just don't know what to do anymore. He always finds an excuse why we can't have sex or whatever. When we don't have sex for a while, I start to notice everything ugly about him, his personality and looks, I also feel trapped and miserable during sexless times.
To top it all off, there is this guy who thinks I am very sexy, he tells me it and he makes me feel sexy. When I talk to him, he gets boners and I think that's hot. I can't help keep being drawn in by him and getting turned on by him because he looks at me with those hungry kind of eyes (something my boyfriend doesn't do) I feel so bad, so guilty and so shitty.
I wish he would just have more sex with me. I don't know what to do, I love him so much but this is making me frustrated.
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>>16478632
low libido is a sign of low testosterone
tell your boyfriend to get his T levels checked
if it is low, then he can hop on roids(legally)
his muscle mass will increase, his libido will too. so he can send you to pound town you little slut.
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I'm pretty sure you just need to break up. Don't be a cheater.
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>>16478643
I already suggested this but he has not done anything about it.
>>16478645
I don't want to be but I feel like I already am by liking his attention. I haven't spoken to that guy in a week.
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So, I'm dating a girl from Australia, while I'm from a small island off Australia. We've met one time before, everything went well.
Recently, it's come into light that she's lying about a lot of things.She claimed to be coming to the island I live on on the 18th to the 20th, never showed up.
She claimed to be moving to Russia last year, and that never happened.
And now claims to be moving to England.
But, she's posting on facebook about not even having a passport.
Now, I'm starting to wonder about all the other things she's been lying about.
Yet, I can't get over this lying bitch, because I love her. What can I do? I need out of this.
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>>16478600
>dating
>met girl once
>"I love her"
That is not dating.
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>>16478604
She stayed with me for two months. And this was only four months ago.
I should've added that.
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>>16478607
Yes. Yes, you should've.