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I feel like a huge dick for even thinking this, let alone posting/asking about it, but bear with me please. My gf is lacking in the "youthful and sexy" department and I need help fixing it.
I've been with her for 6 years and intend to marry her. I love her, she's a perfect match for me and 100% wife material. We agree on major life decisions and plans, share interests, our families like each other, we can make anything mundane into a good time, just because we get along so well and enjoy each other's company. I could go on and on about how great she is but it would quickly become TL;DR.
BUT, and here is the one and only thing that bothers me about her. She's not very sexy. She has a high sex drive and is always DTF, we do it twice a day on average, but she has zero imagination and is pretty vanilla and passive in bed. Anything we've done, I've initiated, and usually had to push her to try. She was a virgin before me and has zero sexual experience/awareness outside of what I do with her or she sees on mainstream TV. She is pretty much clueless about sex and has little curiosity. Getting her to dress in anything revealing or even wear a bikini is a very steep uphill battle.
Whenever I suggest something new she always shoots it down immediately and usually says something along the lines of "I just don't get why people like that". I, on the other hand, have a very active imagination, I'm spontaneous and would like to play around with fantasy/roleplay, among a bunch of other things, but she's so vanilla that she won't even consider trying it. She can't wrap her head around the fact that people do things other than the basics. She also doesn't like porn, except for the nighttime cable TV stuff (True Blood, GOT, 50 shades, etc). She loves that shit but "real" porn does nothing for her, she won't even watch it with me, at least not without making fun of it. I think she's fapped to porn maybe once or twice in her whole life, and it was when she was like 18-19.
cont
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She only ever masturbated regularly (once a week) for about a year, same age range 18-19 (she's 23). It slowly faded away and now she does it maybe once or twice a year. I've tried encouraging her, us doing it together, even buying her toys, but even shopping for sex stuff she makes me do most of the work, and doesn't even "get" most sex toys. She has a rabbit that she likes, or at least likes to say that she likes, but rarely ever uses. Even when she was mastrubating most of it was with my encoragement, and usually during phone sex or sexting.
The weird thing is that she THINKS that she's kinky, and always brags about how much sexier and more fun she is than her friends (which is technically true, but isn't saying much because her friends are barely functional at all). But in reality she's unimaginative and very dismissive of new ideas.
Physically, she's not all that attractive either. She looks twice her age already, she's got a big belly and saggy tits (her nipples point straight down) and double chin. Sshe's not a "hamplanet", her sillohouette is a very nice hourglass, and honestly she's pretty sexy looking with clothes on, she's just chubby with a very unfortunate distrubution of her weight and doesn't look good naked or in a bikini. I know I sound like a major ass and trust me, i know, but I'm saying all this because I'm sure it ties in to her being close-minded/shy/insecure/reluctant to try things in bed or dress sexy in public. She diets and excercises on and off but never makes much progress. I always tell her how beautiful and sexy she is, and I really mean it, but she either rejects it or enjoys the compliments but won't build up any more self esteem. I don't even care so much about what she looks like, I just want her to be confident and fun!
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>>16522438
Stop watching porn
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Dude, just think about this. Would you rather be with your girlfriend whole, while doesn't have high sex appeal, at least she can be faithful and loyal to you till the very bitter end...
... Or would you date a typical woman who has high sex appeal (cleavage, short skirts, etc) but has no qualms about cheating on you with Mr Chad Thundercock? Just saying, because that's how high-sex-appeal women are like.
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oooooooook /b/ i have an incest issue
When i was a little kid, i ono, around 10 or younger. Me and my little sister would play "doctor". Touch each other, kiss, anything that felt good but didnt understand why. First head I ever got was from my little sister. Eventually we get caught and even as kids know we have done something bad. Be ashamed and such.
Anyway years pass, have grown up (24) and I have grown a powerful incest fetish. Pretty sure it originates from this little experience.
My sister is 21 now (will not post pics) and while I've always secretly wanted to do stuff with her, she recently lost some weight and has become hott as fuck. I shit you not, I dont even know why she did it.
We have never talked about what we did as kids, although once I got high and asked her if we maybe give each other a massage. Didnt go well. We never talked about that either.
Anyway I'm probably just doomed to have the fetish unfilled.
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bang her
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>ooooooook /b/
not b but alright
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>>16522437
You really should go to a shrink and see if you can get rid of it. (I wouldn't want to be doomed to have it unfulfilled either). Because if you DO fulfill, that's........ life ruining.
Can't go back from that. You'll have to lie to whatever woman you're with, because she won't be cool with it... I could go on & on about how it would just wreck shit forever.
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I just want to leave my rural village but I don't have a lot of money
What fucking do? I'm gods gift to this world with a god like intelligence and mindset but I'm stuck out here and the rednecks are trying to sabotage me out of jealousy
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you're more likely a big fish in a tiny pond. stay there, we don't want you.
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>>16522379
nigga you post this thread several times a week. Can't give you much more information than we already have.
If you don't have a job, get one
if you have a job, save up money
if you have the money, starting putting in applications online
if you have -enough- money, for at least three months for example, find a cheap apartment and move into it. get roommates if you have to
a lot of big cities will have affordable housing in shitty but not completely awful neighborhoods. Your roommates can vary from outright terrible to mediocre to maybe becoming your friends. It's all a gamble
that is all we can say to your situation. if you haven't begun doing any of these things, no one can help you otherwise. No one is going to offer you a place in their home, or a place in their job in your fantasy urban adventure city
get to work
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>>16522384
Go fuck yourself they should give me your spot in civilization because you're just going to sit here and complain and virginity anyway
Hi
My mate bought this and I asked him for half, I've never drank before what do I do with this to get maximum out of it? Swallow it in one go, mix it with something and sip it? I smelt it and tasted 1 drop and it's disgusting and burns my throat am I allergic? Thanks in advance
It's 1 shot / 25mls jack Daniels whiskey
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>>16522204
Are you like 13?
Guys, is this a bait? It better be a bait. I'm pretty positive this is a bait.
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>trying to alcohol via the mouth
You've got to be 13.
Eyeball that shit you noob.
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>>16522211
21
Unfortunately not bait
Grew up with strict conservative Christian parents
Alcohol never entered my house
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Hey /adv/ I turn to you as /b/ was uhelpful at all. IT's a bit long, but let me lay it out for you.
So there's this girl, we first met about 4 months ago when I was out for a beer with my friends, she was with hers, there were many mutual friends in those groups and we ended up in a group of about 30 people. We just got to know each others' names, talked for a bit and that was it. We met again in similar circumstances about a month ago, same shit, we caught a cigarette and then it turned out that she lives near me, so we left together. Talked on the way home, and it was really good, we really got along, no awkward silence, not even a sec. We agreed to meet for a smoke now and then as we split up. I was thinking about her for few days, I really felt (and I guess I still feel) that we could really be together. We met few times for said cig, took few walks, talked, a beer with bigger gruop once or twice, a house party where everyone got shitfaced, good time. So here's the deal: we have a friendly relationship, and I'm cool with it. We don't text, both she and I aren't really into shitty smalltalk over FB. So we talk only when we meet irl, not too much time. Is there any chance to get this thing movin g into different direction, romantic one?
I mean it's not like I can jump out of the blue with something like
"Hey, I know we know each other only so-so, but I think we'd fit each other, you're pretty great in my opinion, let's see if this works out". Stuff like this Works Orly In romantic Komedy for teenage girls.
this isn't a firendzone scenarion, I'm not fat and gay deluded neckbeard, I'm not madly in love with her and she wants just to be friends
Sorry for my writing I’m a bit drunk and english isn’t my mother tounge, if something isn't clear I'll be more precise
Pic totally unrelated. Just that I look somewhat like the guy.
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The next time you two have a cig together just ask her out dude. Like when you guys are nearing the end of the convo just say "hey I am headed to "(restaurant, movies, etc)" you should come." She will probably ask you if you are asking her out and then say damn right you are. Make sure have plans to go to this place and that you will have fun regardless if she comes
From there its on you. You two seem cool for each other and so I wouldn't be surprised if she was waiting for you to ask her out by now.
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>>16522153
Yea, here's the tricky part: I already did once, but we both didn't have time (at the given day she had classes in the afternoon, the next day i did etc) and the other time we were too hungover. Now I'd come off as desperate, even though I'm not in the tiniest bit.
That' also a problem. I'm cool with stuff being as it is, always. I have almost monk-like approach, whatever happens is cool, I don't give a fuck. And she could be the perfect woman for me, we could be really happy together but I might never find out, becuase I don't care enough. Goddamn it, this is problematic. Just a bit.
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>>16522159
Then ask her when is she free and then ask her out. If you are as cool as you say you are, then if she rejects you it shouldn't be a problem.
Have some balls dude, sitting around thinking about your problems won't solve anything. You need to stop talking and start doing.
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My wife and I are trying new things when we have sex and she wants me to eat her ass, is this weird? I don't have any problems with doing this but what can i do to prepare for this?
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It's not weird but good god make sure she takes a thorough shower and wash that booty hole good.
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Don't do it. Have some boundaries because I will gaurantee your wife will look at you in disgust. Like "wow he actually let me do that to him....ewww".
As the man of the relationship you need to hold your masculinity and not be swayed by feeling.
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>>16522120
>Wife is bored of you
>Wants you to eat her ass
Wear a condom on your tongue.
You'll thank me later.
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Women of this board, how do I be the best god damn oral pleaser there is?
What are some general mistakes men do?
What are some of the greatest thing a guy can do to you with his tongue?
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Circular motions are good. Don't stick your tongue inside.
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>>16522091
This
Why do guys think that trying to put their tongue inside is good??
It feels like a micro penis
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I'm too lazy to find the sfw graphic version of this article.
http://www.vice.com/read/guide-eating-pussy-100-guides
Can someone explain this to me please? Not bait, I just need help understanding the other side.
This happened, say, 2 months ago. An ex friended me out of the blue. This was my first boyfriend from perhaps 8 years ago. There was no attraction involved in the first place and he basically used me as a rebound. Whatever. It hurt, as my first experience into relationships but I got over it. I was just providing backstory.
Anyway 2 months ago he refriended me out of the blue. This was someone I hadn't seen in years. Clean slate as far as I'm concerned. I think I casually mentioned I had a boyfriend and he seemed to shut down. He wouldn't accept an offer to hang out. He wouldn't even talk to me. Eventually he stopped talking to me and I know for a fact unfriended me.
Can someone please explain this behavior? I think it was taking it too far. I had no attraction to the guy, clean slate, as far as I'm concerned he's an old acquaintance. So why'd he just shut down when I mentioned I had a boyfriend?
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he still likes you this isn't rocket science
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He wanted another rebound. You weren't able to give it so he moved on.
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>>16522053
Lot of girls use it as code for "fuck off."
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Do all relationships go from light-hearted joyful fun, to intense deep solemn? Sort of like children into adults?
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Only if both people are emotional dumbfucks and don't know how to manage a proper committed relationship
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>>16522025
>emotional dumbfucks
I need advice but not in terms of calling people dumbfucks
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Yes.
Why? Because when you are dating and talking to each other, they show you only their good parts. After enough time and trust will their true colours come out.
When people get serious, all the light hearted crap moves out and serious business needs to be discussed like finance and the future together.
I have a six page research essay due in an hour that I haven't started.
What do I do?
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>>16521962
Get off 4chan and do it. 6 pages is fuck all
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>>16521967
How do you even research a story and write more pages about it than the story itself occupies?
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helpppppppppppppppppppppp
Anonymous
Ideas Wanted: Masochist Pays Straight Dude to Treat Him Like Shit 2015-12-01 20:41:33 Post No.16521944
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Ideas Wanted: Masochist Pays Straight Dude to Treat Him Like Shit
Anonymous
2015-12-01 20:41:33
Post No. 16521944
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I'm a masochist and I hired someone on craigslist to have me cover some of his expenses (gas for his truck, cigarettes, and sneakers) and have him laugh at me for paying him while he gives me nothing in return. It's humiliating to pay and get nothing for it and then have it rubbed in that I'm getting worked over.
In reality, he's giving me something in return by laughing at me, but that's pretty easy to accomplish - especially since this isn't a fetish for him and really is just easy money from someone he sees as moronic.
If you were in his shoes, what would you do to make the scene more embarrassing. I'm not looking for things like "dress up as a woman" but more along the lines of me thanking him for providing the "service" of taking my money or his taking pictures of new shoes he buys with my cash to rub in how my money is spent.
Any thoughts? Anything that would make you laugh if you were in his position?
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>>16521944
Are you the shoe-licking guy, or is this just more shit bait?
2/10 I responded
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>>16521978
I am the shoe licking guy. The fetishes are related.
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I think that trying to tip him would be good. If you could play like he's worked really hard and you're ripping him off would be quite funny. Like if you agreed on 40, but insisted on giving him 80 for doing such a good job.
It's kind of nice and ironic because you WANT him to do nothing / as little as possible.
Shoe-licker, I like you. If you move to London, please let me know, I could make a lot of money from you, and make you very happy.
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I moved to a new school this year and I already have a girlfriend. She likes (or liked idk) me and I really like her. I want to stay with her for a long time but I'm not sure if I can handle it. We talk almost every night but something is wrong with her internet so I haven't been talking to her as much as I want to. Today we were in choir and she said she was staying over with a few people and getting a ride from a guy to home. How do I deal with this? I highly doubt she would cheat, she isn't that type of girl, but my mind is in over-drive thinking about her with another guy.
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>>16521906
Deal with it by growing up and realizing you're in a HS relationship and those things don't last.
Enjoy her while she lasts, hopefully enjoy her body a bit too. Youre making a mistake with your childish notions of long term romance in HS.
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>>16521906
>all these underage faggots on /adv/ lately thinking their issues are actual issues
Let me make this clear senpai, you think this is an issue but it is not. No one cares about your High school relationship problems. Leave /adv/. It's just high school, right now you're in this little world where you think nothing else matters outside of your huge social environment. The second you leave high school and enter the real world you're going to realize nothing mattered and no one cares.
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>>16521923
>Calling me underage then calling me senpai
This is adv. I'm looking for advice for my current situation. This might not last and I might realize how little this actually means but I was curious if anyone had advice for my current situation.
Nobody who I'm currently in contact with likes me.
How do I come to terms with this?
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>>16521814
Maybe you are not projecting well your personality. Be in your everyday as you really are and the right people will eventually come to you. If it is very hard for you to socialize, try on the internet, gaming, blogging, etc.
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>>16521814
Who's that guy in the pic?
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>>16521896
Yeah it comes down to... I am that chick that somehow from a distance people are cool with.
But I'm nervous and then cringeworthy.
>>16521899
G Eazy :)
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Girlfriend defending, help...
Yesterday I was with my gf at his entrance hall, some random group of teenagers from the neighbourhood yelled from like 40 mtrs "How s that you are with such an ugly fuck?" (refering to her) and then "His boyfriend cant even punch you (some kid told the guy that shouted previously) he's a manlet " (Im 1.70 m tall). I looked at them and was about to approach them, but my gf hold my arm and insisted not to go and begged me, she said they just provoke almost everyone. I listened to her and just ignored them. At home that day I felt with such a rage and the next hours too. I just want to beat the fuck out of them even if they are like 20 guys... Did I do the right thing? What would you have done in my place? Any similar experiences guys? Need advice
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you pussy manlet bitch
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Just let it go, man. Those kids were asking for the hurting to be put on them. But the fact that you showed your gf that you were ready to throw hands was enough for her. Basically what I'm saying here is, you showed your gf that you're a man and not a little bitch and that was good enough for her. Eventually those kids will get their shit wrecked in some way or another if they keep it up and provoke the wrong person.
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>>16521655
Thanks for your 4chan love
>>16521657
Yeah you may be right, did you have any similar experience with your gf?
Methods for clearing up your face? I already use Epiduo and an antibacterial.
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>don't touch your face
>don't let your hair touch your face
>steam your face then wash with cold water
>change pillowcase often or put fresh towel on it
>cut sugar out of your diet completely, fruits are ok
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>>16521534
I hear that buckshot really helps cleanup your face.
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>>16521534
its amazing what ignoring it does for your complexion