How do I get better at Chess? No matter what I do, I get beaten by practically everybody. Even when I do everything right, the opponent still has something up his sleeve.
>>16546444
Study plays.
>>16546489
Well I do that, I see my blunder and I think to myself "I'll try not to do that again"
Next thing I know, I'm still losing.
>>16546444
Let's start with a lesson, what do you already know and where have you gone to learn more?
>stopped fapping to improve sexual performance and ejoyment
>used to fap daily
>went for a few weeks, sex life improved notably
>just broke the streak and fapped
>came hard in under five minutes
>feel like shit
>feel like I've betrayed my SO
>promised to self not to do it anymore
>as I'm saying that to myself I'm feeling the urge to fap again
>wtf
In what way did it improve your sex life?
>>16546291
came harder with them, felt hornier more often, got more adventurous, went for round 2 and 3
>>16546277
Do it. Or you're a faggot, actually never mind OP is always a fag.
How can avoid feeling bad because of my age?
I'll be fairly old next year (24) and I'll still be in college, since I have stayed away from it for personal reasons. I have plans to finish next year, but I feel awkward since many people I know are now years ahead and working there, while I still be graduating next year (if I'm lucky).
When I think of the shame of seeing many teachers again, while I am taking basic courses I should have taken years ago, I feel I just want to drop it and forget about it. I'm not going to do that, but still, I feel like my time has passed.
>>16546266
I'll be 24 when I finish too, but that's not unusual for what I'm doing. That said, I have friends who are much older, and honestly, it's not that bad. Your options are to keep going, or drop out and be even more of a 'loser' - you can't change what's already happened. The former is obviously preferable.
>>16546266
>but that's not unusual for what I'm doing
What do you do?
>>16546305
I'm a law student. Where I live, law is an undergrad degree so it can done in 4 years, but most people do another degree alongside it, which adds another year or two, so people are 23/24 when they finish, assuming they started at 18. I've just finished my other degree, and I have a year of law left.
I'm in my late teens, living with my parents, and there is nothing i like to do. I mostly shitpost, browse reddit and play vidya to kill time, but none of it makes me happy. It's just an effective way to kill time.
I feel no desire to go to uni even though i could, i feel no desire to play a sport even though i could be decently competitive in a few of them, i feel no desire to play music even though i'm a decent bass player. How do i make myself give a fuck?
>>16546214
You don't, you just suffer more and more until, hopefully, you realize it's your lack of action that is making you miserable, and you start making a change, being willing to sacrifice some short term escapism for a gain in reality.
Or you can wind up on /r9k/ never-never land and stay a child forever
Don't use the internet for a week
How about not giving about not giving a fuck?
Would you say you are complacent, bored, looking for something to do?
You don't need constant stimulus all the time. You can be perfectly fine with doing nothing.
I don't even know if I'm just getting this out of my system or in actual need of advice, so I'll first tell some of the story.
'bout 6 months ago a friend visited me in my city. We barely knew each other before that but she needed a place to stay for one night as she was just passing by. We went out for dinner the first day, walked around for like 2-3 hours afterwards, then went to sleep (nothing happened). Next day we went for another walk through the city and then I dropped her off at the airport. In those two days we talked about all kinds of things, it was very relaxing.
She went back to the US, we kept chatting for a month or so before both admitting that we like each other quite a lot. From there it went great, even though she got fired, had to find something quick so as not to lose her visa (she's not american), we even considered her coming here if she couldn't find something in the US. We even spoke about moving in together, at some point even marriage. I was a bit weary about this, because I've had a LDR before and it didn't go well. But she seemed so sure about us I told myself I shouldn't hold back, because we loved each other a lot.
Work is really tough for her over there. At some point she got a bit of cold feet because she got the impression that we're too different and we wouldn't work. She got it together withing 2-3 days and we were fine again.
Now a week ago she got cold feet again, says she can't do both work and rel. at the same time, says she doesn't love me as much as I do her. I still think she's just confused but anyway.
I'm horrified of dying alone. I've eventually gotten over my first love a few years ago, but this is even worse. I've never been so sure about someone before.
But really I can't deal with the idea that I might die alone. I like being with someone, doing things together, traveling. I've never been showered in gf's, and I feel my chances get lower with every single day that passes.
Really the thing is that I've been through this before
I just don't want to be so miserable anymore. About 2 years ago I told myself that if I don't get better by the time I'm 30, I'll through my life away in some way, not necessary suicide, but just go full 'fuck it' mode.
I was so sure I'd made it when I had her, I even rushed to buy a place for us to live in the future (I was going to anyway but still), and we were both so certain she'd come here in half a year and eventually get married and be so happy together. And I'm barely 25! I honestly think I'm fairly smart, mostly because other people say so, I have a good career ahead, and doing well on money.
I just want to have some kind of certainty and hope that eventually I'll have someone to come home to, eat dinner with, wake up next to, go on vacations in remote locations and just be open and honest with each other, share our happiness and confusion.
I can't deal with this much longer, and I've started having a drink every day because otherwise my head will blow up. I can barely maintain appearances at work
>>16546145
>>16546132
Just calm down Bro. If you overthink it so much you do stupid things. Try to do the thing you like, and don't throw me shit like " I liked being with her durr" Fucking beta faggot. If you love soccer eventually you will found someone who supports you and support the fact you like soccer, maybe she didn't like soccer but support the things you like. Now there a lot of Girls that travel you will found someone. Right now you are acting like a fuckin faggot, because "hurr the only girl that see something in me is gone waaa" Stop being a pussy faggot.
>>16546132
shes unsure, its not worth it. its just going to be a waste of time and resources and of course, more drama like this. if shes already having the fears, they are going to keep coming. normally im an 'enjoy it while it lasts' kind of guy, btu this is clearly just going to be more pain than fun. so cut it off
>im afraid of dying alone
even if you are married, you'll die alone. knowing that you have some old lady that you could have gone home to if you didnt drive straight into that other car isn't going to make dying any better. having SOMEONE there with you isn't going to make it any better.
people are only worth having in your life if they are actually worth it. so learn how to enjoy it on your own and when you die you'll never have any regrets
just a long string of memories of good times. some with people. some alone. and when you die alone, that will be the most comforting thing you do.
i have many dreams where i die and my last thoughts are generally 'i love you guys' when i think about my friends or 'ive had a good life' when i think about my job or 'i did what i hoped for' when i think of my projects. worst regret i get is having one particular script not written.
I recently went on a two month alcohol binge. I am three days into it, and the slight withdrawal that I did have has basically subsided. It did not warrant me hospitalizing myself.
I basically drank myself into a stupor most nights, having 6-12 drinks most of the time. On average I would say that I had about 8 per night.
If I quit now, will I be good? Have I fucked my brain beyond where it would have been otherwise? Will my liver be okay? How do I stay off this shit? I come from a family of addicts. I have had trouble with drugs and alcohol in the past, but this is the longest I have ever been doing something day after day.
Also, do I have a chance to make a full recovery brain-wise from several years of on and off substance abuse? How about long term effects?
Any anecdotal/scientific insight would be great. Thanks /b/ros.
>>16546117
its hard to say. you went from '2 month alcohol binge' to 'third day on it' to 'years of substance abuse'.
even if we were doctors (were not, but we play some on TV) we'd need more specifics.
ultimately id say yes. if you are conscious and can think cohesively now, than you arent really damaged, just on a bad road. most young people drink WAYYY to much but they turn out fine once they start to cool down.
the body has the amazing ability to heal itself if you stop poisoning it.
quit drinking, do some cleanses, etc.
>>16546127
By three days into it, I meant three days into not having a drink. And yeah, I haven't joined the idiot club, but I'm definitely not as sharp as I used to be/could have been. In some ways I just fail. With common sense and practical knowledge as well as orderly thinking, I have never been that good but am certainly worse off now.
Oh well, I guess what I'm really looking for is confirmation that I could still actualize my full intellectual potential that I may have had before, but that ceiling has probably been lowered. I'm sure I'll get along fine, but I scientifically know enough to know that while the brain has the propensity to recover at a young age, it is also more susceptible to being permanently altered.
I guess what I'm looking for is drugged out fuck ups that turned it around at a later age in youth, I'm 24, and did something great.
>>16546154
i mean if ur a fully functional adult and have what you need to do, then why worry? unless there is a specific thing you are worried about not doing, why care about whether you are intellectually lower on the totem pole?
being smart is overrated. not that i would know. but ive been pretty dumb my whole life and it hasn't stopped me from living in any sense of the word.
I've been dating a lovely girl for two years. She's loyal, cooks, qt, fun, traditionally feminine, has good work ethic, is pretty moderate in terms of politics like me, and she's fun.
Lately discussion of our future has come up. Particularly that of children. I can't see a fulfilled future for myself without children and she never wants to have kids. I really love kids and I know it's corny but my dream has always been to live simple life of a family man. I never wanted luxury cars or boats or mansions.
All I ever wanted was a modest house in the country where I can grow vegetables and raise some kids to be strong and good people. My dream is to be a father. The subject had come up in short spurts in the past and she was always at least slightly open to the idea of one kid. Now she seems pretty set on living a childless life. I respect that, but I don't know if that's a life I'd find myself happy to live 20 or so years down the road.
Is it time to break off what is otherwise a great relationship?
You're a faggot Op
Don't have kids
>>16546066
This is well written word porn right here, very juicy, but I'm out. Let's be honest: this place is kinda gay.
On your post some advice would be: stop worrying about this shit. Bitches lose their ability after 43=45+ to have kids. You can impregnate bitches till your dead. Guy in India got a child @90 years of age. Yes, 90. Stop being so hasty. Enjoy life for what it's worth once. Happy now? No? Too bad.
How do I know if I'm crazy?
>>16546022
See a psychologist
>>16546022
We're all a bit crazy. No one is "sane". Accept how you are, do what you can to better yourself ...
>>16546022
There's no such thing you fucker.
Is there anyone else out there that feels disconnected from the world as a whole?
People call me weird that I don't have any desire to travel or see new places, or meet new people, and I can't really argue with them - there are some undeniably beautiful things on this planet worth living for, but the things I've seen, the things I've come to know, has caused me to lose faith in more than just people, but my own powerlessness to change anything at all.
"For in much wisdom, is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow" - this alone explains my current perspective of.. everything.
I realize that, with time, I've started to pay less and less attention to current affairs of the world in general, probably for fear of losing even more faith to the point of pushing me towards even ending my own existence perhaps. I mean, you would probably think the same thing if you ask yourself "is this all that life here is worth? Shouldn't your life be worth something better than this?"
I think this famous quote (by Socrates) pretty much sums it up: "The unexamined life is not worth living"
I guess you could call this an existential crisis, but if it is, wouldn't it be fleeting and not this perpetual feeling I have that sits in between this dull melancholic boredom and utter disgust/hate at the world in general?
I used to think it would be irresponsible of me to even want to forget, but..
All I would wish for now is to forget everything and live far away where things are less complicated/chaotic.
There's this perpetual feeling that sits
between my ribs
melancholic boredom, swaddled in a crib
of bones.
Is there anything quite so disconnecting
as being aware
of the relative unimportance of your skeleton?
I would compare
forgetting to
"ignorance is bliss"
I used to comprehend
my level of responsibility
now I think this is
beyond my capability.
>>16546014
>Is there anyone else out there that feels disconnected from the world as a whole?
Yes, but what we feel is often far from the reality. The reality all matter in the universe is connected in that they originate from the same source.
>"For in much wisdom, is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow"
I disagree with this. Knowledge is inherently neutral, it is the interpreter that associates his/her feelings to the knowledge/information he/she percieves.
Wisdom coincides with truth, and sometimes, the truth can hurt. Wisdom sides with ethical action and thought. Think of it this way: it is knowledge to know that smoking is bad, it takes wisdom to stop smoking.
>fear of losing even more faith to the point of pushing me towards even ending my own existence perhaps.
The key is to remain Equanimous (not neutral, or numb). Numbing supresses, neutral is close to indifference. You will see bad things that will make you feel bad, likewise there are good things that will make you feel good. It's a constant push and pull. You should not entrust your wellbeing on the happenings of the world.
>"is this all that life here is worth? Shouldn't your life be worth something better than this?"
Worth is relative. Look at maslow's pyramid. If you were a hungry child, your life is worth living when you have food. I don't know your situation, but usually you can find things that you can be happy with without causing too much desire in you.
>I think this famous quote (by Socrates) pretty much sums it up: "The unexamined life is not worth living"
Yes, that quote applies to any philosophical thought. Not sure how it sums up your cynicism.
>wouldn't it be fleeting and not this perpetual feeling I have that sits in between this dull melancholic boredom and utter disgust/hate at the world in general?
Existential "problems" can be fleeting or be as perennial as the seasons.
>>16546181
>maslow's pyramid
Excellent perspective
>Please include 3 referees in your application
Anyone else automatically eliminated from these jobs?
How do I acquire referees?
I have been put as the reference for over 30 applications.
Never once have I been contacted by someone else's employer. I've never even heard of someone being called for that.
Just right the names of friends and say they where co workers in your lawn service or some shit.
What sort of jobs are you applying for?
>>16546021
I've definitely had people contact my referees. I wouldn't make them up just in case they do contact them.
if it's professional references then you'd want to volunteer somewhere for them and if not; talk to your teachers if you are/were a hard worker. I've used a teacher from 3 years back as a reference and I haven't and still don't have issues getting calls back.
Hey /adv/,
I trust you motherfuckers. So I'm coming to you with some private issues. I need advice about what to do about my sexual/relationship life. I had gone through two really bad breakups, both could have gotten me arrested. Now what I ask is this, Am I unattractive? these two girls were both easy 8/10 maybe 7/10, the relationships just ended badly. Now, whenever I go for a girl that isn't in my social circle, they want nothing to do with me. My friends in other circles try to hook me up with girls, and most of the time I get their numbers, I just need a way to keep interested. I can't seem to focus on any one. What do I do /adv/?
Pic related: Bottom one is me
You look like you're a bit agressive and switchy, like the kind of person who laughs at others a lot and switches when things go badly.
idk, try to look friendlier
It's not your looks. Probably the way you act around people. For example: why did you post that pic and didn't crop it?
>>16545890
You seem like a cunt.
what should i do before i kill myself? so far i only got fucking a very good looking prostitute (so i dont die a fucking virgin) and eat mcdonalds (its actually a luxury and expensive in my country) i got a little bit of money saved btw
lol where are you from
>>16545873
would rather not say
>>16545886
you must say
It's probably South America judging by that picture
I really dig this girl. She's my dream girl, everything I would ever want in a partner she has. She isn't without her flaws, however, and I that honestly just makes me like her more. For a while, it was a bizarre love triangle. Me, her, and this other dude. The other dude did something really shitty, but she still chose him. I understand that all I can do is forget it and move on, but I was wondering if I should just tell her how I feel. I know it won't change anything, but I've always been afraid to express my emotions and never have. I just want to tell her how awesome she is and get it off my chest, regardless of whether or not she ever talks to me again. Should I go for it ?
I told a great friend the other day how I felt about her, shit went really well for about 2 weeks then she went back to her ex. I've lost her as a friend and a girlfriend, now im sitting here like a mug hoping she will come back to me. Your're right, you have to move on, but if you dont mind losing friendship with her just tell her.
It could work out for you in the long term but best not to get hung up living in hope.
Yes
it will only make you feel better
And who knows? Maybe change something
>>16545839
NO.
There is no reason to tell her how you feel. It wont really change anything.
What's the difference between shy and creepy?
>>16545792
whether or not you are attractive
>>16545792
Attractive = shy
Unattractive = creepy
"Shy" can mean anything from being uncomfortable to have the focus on yourself in a public situation to not opening up, but the one uncomfortable, ill-at-ease, you name it, is always yourself. It's just a little more work for people around you, but it isn't a nuisance like being creepy is. Creepy people make everyone around them uncomfortable, while they're sometimes totally fine themselves.
Of course you can be both creepy and shy. Maybe being shy puts you more at risk of being creepy since you're more likely to have a poor understanding of social norms, but they aren't necessarily linked either.
20 years old and still living with parents but I want to move out and stop being a loser. I don't have shit for an education, not even a high school diploma. So /adv/ can you support yourself on a minimum wage job or should I at least try for a GED
>>16545742
go for a GED
>>16545742
>So /adv/ can you support yourself on a minimum wage job
Depending on where you live it's possible, but chances are it will be a struggle.
>or should I at least try for a GED
You absolutely should. Any higher-than-minimum wage job will require this at the very least.
Before you pack up everything and leave you should really give some hard thought into moving out though. If your parents are offering their home to you while you make a foundation for yourself you should take it. You don't want to move out, find out it isn't financially feasible and then have to come back.
>>16545742
If all possible get a roommate.