My second long-term relationship is over (2 years), and I feel like it ended like my first long-term relationship of 5 years.
She told me I'm not willing to change to keep it working, which in my last relationship is all I did, I tried and tired to keep it going making adjustments, and it never worked. So I was scared, I couldn't risk another couple of years to find out I'm not enough for her.
I'm asking for some advice tho, I need to hear people who were in similar situations, and who are in thriving relationships, feeling like shit now dawg. Back to back relationships, feeling like a fuck up, like a girl never thinks I'm enough is hard to swallow; when you put ever hour that you can to make her feel special.
My advice is to perhaps be a little more discerning and intuitive in your dating. From both my personal experience and that with the people I know, it's practically unheard of that problems which end relationships weren't obvious from day 1. People are just too accommodating.
>>16614802
I know what you mean, but the "it could work" feel is so strong sometimes, also the pu$$y bomb. But after awhile it just ain't worth it.
>>16614823
If it's wrong, it's wrong. Hire a hooker if you want some vag. Don't buy into bad matches.
Hey /adv/ I am trying to gauge me and my significant other's assumptions. What personality do most people assume guys with long hair have? And what personality/sterotypes do people see with the girls that date them?
Sorry for bad English, it is not my first language.
Bad boys
long hair = stoner/hippie or someone sort of socially awkward
girls that date those guys are either mawkish librarians or sexy nympho flower children
Hi /adv/, im a senior in highschool, edge lord etc. I was wondering if girls like pic related are worth pursuing? Ie the emo ass username and emo depressed loner shit. I don't know if it's worth the mental anguish to deal with a depressed loner who self harms etc
>>16614776
Don't. Had a friend once like this, was depressing as shit
Depressed person here. I like these people. They actually care about your feelings. Unlike others. Tbh go for it.
>>16614776
>>16614897
No, don't do it. They always want the focus on themselves by telling you depressing shit. It gets old quickly. Some are tolerable but going from "my family left me" to "hi" in like 5 messages is a red flag. She may care about your feelings, but not as much as she cares that you care about hers. You'll get involved, get sick of it, threaten to leave, and she'll say "I'll kill myself if you leave me" Then what the fuck you gonna do?
>Inb4 "it was more than 5 messages herp derp"
How the fuck do I talk more? I never have anything to say, I'm just there. And when I do talk, it's small talk, and when I'm really open to talking, it's only with family and relatives.
I was on vacation, and coincidentally a friend that I knew from high school was there, so I hit him up and we hung out that day, but really I was just fuckin quiet. I did talk, but it was generic shit, and most of the talking would be by him and I would continue the narrative. On top of that, we were drunk and did something else, and I still didn't really know what to say.
How do you talk more and be more interesting??
Racist
Wonder if a normal wristband would work?
>>16614763
You could use not wearing an apple watch to cover up your apple watch. Or cut off both of your wrists entirely.
>>16614796
Alright so there's one idea. Anyone else?
Don't wear a faggy apple watch if you want to hide it.
I've been considering moving to Debian or Ubuntu for a while now (from Windows 10) and the latest update which borked a bunch of stuff made me want to drop Windows right away.
At first I had intended to set up Debian but after playing around a bit with a live CD I found that it wasn't as intuitive as I thought it would be so I went with Ubuntu with the classic Gnome look (Gnome Flashback).
Anyway, even though I've tried quite a few distros via live CD's I've never actually installed anything and I'm a bit confused about how to partition my drives. I have a 120GB and a 250GB SSD and am currently using the 120GB drive for Windows and the second one for storage, installation of games etc.
From my understanding all of the software ends up under /home by default so I figured I'd use the smaller drive just for root and swap and then have /home on the larger drive. Is this possible to set up when installing? I've googled around a bit and have found guides that show how you move or change the /home dir but is it possible to place it on another drive during the installation process? If so, are there any (dis)advantages of having it on a second drive?
tl;dr Can I place /home on a different drive than the rest of the Ubuntu installation?
The installer has "advanced options" which do this exact thing.
>>16614756
>From my understanding all of the software ends up under /home by default
wrong. /home has your user configurations and the files you save in your home directory
to keep it simple: most software ends up in /usr
>Can I place /home on a different drive than the rest of the Ubuntu installation?
yes. you can put every directory on a different drive if you want to.
>tl;dr Can I place /home on a different drive than the rest of the Ubuntu installation?
yes
But if your SSDs are that damn big then I don't see why you WOULD do that; might as well just leave everything to defaults and stick your actual crap onto the HDD manually. The only thing you need to avoid doing is saving everything you see directly onto your desktop, which you should avoid doing anyway. Set your web browser to "always ask me where to save files" and save them to the HDD.
I think my confidence correlates with how my hair looks.
If my hair looks like shit, I feel like shit, but if it's looking great, then I'm more confident and I think people can notice it. My hair essentially makes or breaks my confidence.
Is there a way to fix this? I can get regular haircuts, but it's expensive and my barber doesn't always get my haircut right which makes me feel like shit again.
Wear a hat.
>>16614714
That guy does have cool hair. Dresses like a retired gay man though.
>>16614719
Hats look like shit on me, must be my face shape.
I have memories from when I was 5 years old (or somewhere around that age) of my brother (9 years older than me) waking me up in the middle of the night and telling me to come sleep in his bed. I also remember him telling me that I shouldn't tell mom and dad that he was making me do this. I blacked out anything else that happened, if anything did happen.
Now I am 28 and have deep emotional issues, especially regarding sex.
Is it possible my brother was molesting me?
Is there any way to find out? The accusation is so drastic, it's not like I could just bring it up to him and ask.
Totally possible. Sounds like your brain blocked it. Are you a virgin OP?
>>16614710
It's completely possible that you could have undergone something traumatic like your brother molesting you and your brain, unable to deal with it, blocked it out. I would try maybe seeing a therapist of some sort and getting yourself into some intense therapy to really try and break down the barriers to see if anything's there (which it definitely sounds like something's there). Don't go to your brother about this. Like you said, that's a very dramatic accusation and of course he'll probably say no, get mad, and storm off. If you get into some kind of therapy, you and and your therapist will work towards confrontation later.
It's quite possible but there is no certain way to know. It could be that at some point you regain memories, but basically all therapy aimed at actively recovering memories gained a bad reputation for causing fictional memories. The human brain is extremely sensitive to suggestion and our memory is very much fallible. We usually just don't realize how much detail in our memories is incorrect. I am sure pretty much everyone has that one vivid memory that they factually know cannot be what truly happened... those are rare cases in which you realize that it is a reconstruction of the past and not a matter of just retrieving data or something.
That's not to say that I think this particular memory is false. It is obviously a spontaneous one and most often what is off about memories is details, not an entire drastic thing happening that never happened. I just think it is more fruitful to focus on the issues you mentioned having now, than become too focused on what exactly happened.
Not sure where to turn, but I need advice so I guess this board will do.
Anyone have any knowledge of where I can purchase an oud from a reputable buyer (also preferably within the US or even Canada)?
There's a big Middle Eastern community in northern NJ so I tried Googling instrument sellers in that region (particularly the city of Paterson). ArabInstruments.com is apparently based out of the area and seems to have a wide selection. Ultimately though I'd never advocate buying an instrument without being there in person to check it out. Only one of my instruments was ever bought online and sure enough it was the one that needed repair within weeks out of the box.
>>16614707
Mah niggah! Ouds are cool. What ethnicity are you?
Can't help you there, though, sorry. Have you tried /mu/?
>>16614990
I'm white lol but I enjoy Middle Eastern music and I've been playing guitar for five years so I figured I could try this out. I tried /mu/ but they don't have any suggestions beyond ebay.
I hate my mother as a person with a passion, but love her because she's my mother.
She fucks her boyfriend for money, does drugs, is promiscuous, can't control her spending, always victimizes herself and is generally a disgusting person.
But then she comes to me with all this motherly love and "I'm proud of you" sentimental nonsense and I can't bring myself to completely lash out at her.
I've sat her down and talked about how I hate what I hate about her, but she usually just says things that suggest she's going to change, then never does.
A large part of me wants to leave her forever and forget about it, but what stops me is the feeling of how much I'll regret it when she passes.
I seriously don't know how to deal with this.
Leave.
Once your mother notices you'll move on without her, it may ignite something in her.
>>16614697
No matter how much regret you think you'll feel when she passes if you leave now, the amount of turmoil and hatred she'll put you through until she does pass if you stay will be even worse. She's your mother, yes, but it's time for you do everything you can to get the hell out of there until she can actually straighten up herself.
She is a person with her own life. Live your own life too.
pic unrelated...
help please.
my mom is 57 and she's getting worse. she can fool her doctor (only sees for an hour a month on average) and friends she only sees every few months. but for us adult children, we see that she is mentally unstable. she always has to have an enemy. always has to have something to gripe about. tries to control us and the grandkids. she even gets violent at times. her tongue cuts like a razor covered in bile and acid. she refuses to admit she is ever wrong, or that she is the one causing grief unprovoked. even when she was younger and went into bitch mode once a month, she refused to admit she had PMS, now she refuses to admit that she has been or is now suffering from menopause. she lays on the couch in the common area of the house even though she has a room and bed.
tl;dr: how do i get someone who NEEDS mental help but claims not to need it?
i'm in Indiana, USA.
>>16614692
If you know for a fact she's fooling her doctor, try to get in there and talk to the doctor yourself so they know exactly what is going on.
Speaking from experience, you can only help someone if they want that help. But being mentally ill (if she is at all mentally ill) can fool you into thinking you actually have everything under control and you don't need help, when if fact you need help the most. I don't want to say forcefully commit her, mostly because she, being an adult, I don't know if that's actually possible, but sometimes people need to be taken out of their current environment and placed in a new one where they can get round the clock care. If she's being violent in the sense that its abuse, you need to get her out of there immediately and get her some serious help. There is no reason she should be getting away with any of that if that's what she's doing.
Like I said earlier, I'd say go have a chat with her doctor. He/she would be able to do more in the way of helping her than you would. If that doesn't work, find a way to get her into a mental hospital urgently.
>>16614706
would her DR talk to me?
dr/patient confidentiality and all...
>>16614717
Her doctor wouldn't be able to tell you what they've talked about with your mother, but you can still go to them and tell them how your mother is actually doing, opposed to how she's been fooling them. You're not there to find out what they're talking about, you're there to tell the doctor the truth and nothing more.
How do i get a girlfriend?
No female friends, and no women at my workplace either. Im studying electric engineering, so no chicks there either
>>16614677
Dating websites and bars. Get out a little more. You might meet someone at a market. Go find them, don't wait for them to come to you.
>>16614689
How do you even meet someone in a market ?
>>16614722
I dunno. I was just spit-balling ideas.
My faggot collegues keeps inviting me to pointless activities in workplace. How can I avoid it?
>>16614633
Have you tried saying "I'm not into activities like that"? Or maybe the ever popular "No thank you"?
>>16614633
Gosh you sound like a great guy.
>>16614635
Yes. They roll their eyes.
Can you have a negative balance on PayPal? I ordered something that should have put me in the negative and it was shipped too, but then I deposited 30 bucks to make up for it and now my balance just says 30 bucks.
>>16614600
What I'm thinking is that Paypal and the site you ordered from hasn't had enough time to properly smooth out the transaction yet.
>>16614617
Seeing how it was already on it's way to my country before I deposited the amount to paypal, could that really be it?
>>16614670
Sometimes online transactions might take a while to process, especially when there are hiccups like your situation, or they're running maintenance. How long has it been since the first original transaction was made, and how long has it been since you deposited the 30 bucks?
All right, so I'm gay (yeah yeah, fag and blah blah blah) and my best friend is straight. We were having a conversation about how another friend of ours parents got divorced and then it segued into a talk about marriage. He told me supports gay people but doesn't support gay marriage. He said, "Listen, I don't care if you wanna hold hands with guys or anything, but getting married and showing it off to the world seems a little unnecessary." I immediately thought it was a hypocritical stance to take and I tried telling him that but he wouldn't listen.
Is there any way I can make him see how much of an idiot he's being?
>Is there any way I can make him see how much of an idiot he's being?
Not really. Not when in his head, he's probably thinking the exact same thing about you.
You're never going to convince anyone of anything dealing from a place of moral indignation, superiority, or anger. Putting someone on the defensive is by far the most counter-productive thing you can do while trying to persuade them. Sympathy is often the most successful route.
>>16614634
>Sympathy is often the most successful route.
I misspoke. Empathy is often the most successful route.
And for empathy to work, you need to actually be willing.
>>16614634
So it sounds like I might have reached a stalemate with him then.