Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6415. page

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tldr:
>not asian
>learning ancient chinese instrument, growing interest in traditional chinese music
>don't talk about it much, but when people find out they think its weird
>start to feel guilty of trespassing in another culture
>don't know what to do

help

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Think about it from another perspective:

Most Asian families try to encourage their kids to learn Western Instruments: typically piano or violin.

If you think about it, that's pretty weird too. They've got a rich musical history to draw upon but they're using Western Instruments as a sort of status symbol for wealth and education.

This may sound a bit heavy-handed, but the world NEEDS people like you who are somewhat obsessed with obscure facets of history and culture.

Without people like you being deeply involved, these fragments of history and culture will fade completely from the modern world.

Keep doing what you are doing and be happy, passionate and excited about it. Share it on youtube or somewhere else where people can see and get excited like you are.

>>16661854
w2c that jacket?

>>16661412
He turns over porn before he's done to a movie, and puts dick away. It's a horror movie, which I loved at that age. Yay, something familiar that I like! It was the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which I'd not seen before but heard of. Anyways, Right at the end of the film, where Leatherface is swinging his chainsaw around and chasing the survivor, my friend pulls his dick out and starts jacking it again. Bear in mind I don't even know what an erection is at this point in life. Feel SO fucking confused, like I can kind of sense this is wrong, but he's my best friend, so maybe it's normal? Should I start doing this to Aliens or Predator? Does it feel good? FUCK??!!?!!

He finishes on sheets, doesn't clean up. Tells me wanking is natural, I shouldn't be afraid of it.

My entire view of sex is screwed up for my entire life. The bar of normality has been set- for most people, it's normal sex. But for me, normal sex feels wrong, because embarassment/shame. This is now what feels vaguely ok, but I still know somethings wrong.

I have never recovered to this day. Cannot have emotional intimacy on any level, even friendship. Never had girlfriend. Jesus fucking christ, how do I get over this?

Any ideas? Please? Or even similar experiences, I'd take empathy over nothing. Fuck.

wew lad

Have you gone to a therapist about this? Like, somebody who is legit certified, not your friend who thinks they're a therapist.

>>16661532
No money for a therapist. Have to spend 6 days a week working to pay rent n shit. Upside I guess is no time for relationships anyways.

>>16661192
>When should I end the relationship?
Now.
If you're honestly looking for a wife. Then end it now; you need to be available to meet a person to marry that wants kids.

If you are still a few years off from getting married, then you can still stay with her as long as you're enjoying the relationship.

Protip: Most women in their young 20's say they don't want kids. Then at about 29 they're walking down a street, get hit by a mental lighting bolt, and all they can think about is how much they want a baby RIGHT NOW!

>>16661428
>Protip: Most women in their young 20's say they don't want kids. Then at about 29 they're walking down a street, get hit by a mental lighting bolt, and all they can think about is how much they want a baby RIGHT NOW!

FUCKING THIS. I've seen it happen twice. (not the lightning bolt, but the sudden change of opinion)

I think they must miss a period or something and it scares them.

How old is she? She might change her mind, I did. But I wouldn't count on it.

She's right. You're needy and clingy. Why are you monitoring her activity so closely? If she's said bye, she doesn't want to talk anymore.

Yes.

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jfc op stop being such a fucking sperg

Previous thread:
>>16629826

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I just came on this board to see what it was like.
Its not that impressive.

I do however have advice for you beta manlets;

Find your motivation. It doesn't matter what it is.
All the inspirational shit bodybuilders or activists say is hardly relevant to you as a person. For me personally, it was awakening the traditionalist inside me. I identify with my Anglo-Celtic roots, i learned everything about my heritage and culture. I traced my family as far back as i could. Im descended from crusader lords and special forces operatives. I live my life to make them proud, to honor the gods, to make a strong family and continue on the legacy. I want to be a hero that my family and nation will talk about for generations to come.

Yours could be anything. Maybe you want to live long enough to see us colonize mars, maybe you want to find love, maybe you want to be rich. Take it in as a holy cause that you must absolutely accomplish. If you want to stop being a neet beta manlet; start lifting, go to church (women anywhere else are whores), go on /fit/ then stop going on 4chan. Find your confidence.

With my motivation i gained 28kgs of muscle over 2 years, found a wife, joined the military, secured my financial future.

I was a skinny weaboo with a waifu 2 years ago.

>>16655501
Sometimes I think this place is some sort of scribble pad for aspiring writers or something.

Bump since nobody seems to care which, I guess other people do have worse problems.

It is kinda tearing me apart though.

I'll only bump once.

>>16662108
Worry not friend. This just one of the many phases of youth. The real question isn't how do you prevent such thoughts, but rather the true meaning behind these thoughts.

Question why you feel the way you do about B. What causes you to be consumed by her presence? Lack of excitement or lack of variety in a relationship can lead to promiscuous fantasy as a yearning for something fresh. Many couples experience it and you should not be afraid or ashamed of ou instincts warning you of future danger.


Good luck amigo. You haven't committed any thing unworthy yet, but merely experienced a warning

>>16662146
wtf is this?! You didn't lambaste OP for being a shitty person.

Pretty solid advice though. A lot of people will say thoughts are just as bad as actions but you're only human OP. Do what this guy said and do some introspective thought into things.

>>16661333
How does one get insurance so cheap? If I got on my own policy it'd be $200 a month for a $700 car with state minimum coverage.

Cheapo lifestyle

Rent: $600
Food: $150
Basic utilities: $50
Car (gas/maintenance): $100
Car insurance: let's say $100 for rounding
Phone+Internet: $100
General needs (clothes/household items): $100
Student loans: ?
Health insurance: ?
Other health needs: ?
Other bills/loans: ?
Entertainment: ?

This is the cheapo, lower-middle class lifestyle. You'll be cutting it close either way, and you're fucked to high heaven if you get sick or injured (or even get a girlfriend you have to buy dinner for).

I HIGHLY recommend getting a roommate unless you want to live barebones paycheck to paycheck

>>16661193
All women are bi.

>>16661193
Forget about whatever social standard you're holding yourself to. Follow your heart, even if it means going against what you thought you knew about yourself. Unless following means murder a baby or something

>>16661193
I bet a big long black cock would remind you what you really want. Sexy bitch.

Well, I don't believe there is no hope in either situation. It's not so dire as that.

I believe in the numbers, and the numbers say that the larger the age gap, the larger the chance of relationship failure.

Also, the larger the age gap, the larger the chance of children with defects like autism. And the older the father, the larger this chance is too. It's not only mothers who have to worry about increased age.

However, it is also true that the younger people are when married, the more likely divorce is.

So with all of this, I think it's ideal for people to start relationship as a young adult in their 20s, be together for years, then get married and have children in their late 20s and early 30s.

This is just the "ideal" though. People outside of it still absolutely have the chance of success.

I'd say don't give up and keep looking.

>>16661194
what i was afraid of

I wouldn't start worrying about it until after 35 or so, from a numbers perspective. By that age your likelihood of marrying has fallen to less than 50-50, according to some sociological research. This is probably because 1) by that age, you'll be set in your personal ways and be used to getting along without a spouse and 2) most women who want to have children will have married well before then, generally to a man within a few years of their own age (median age is 28 for women, 30 for men).

You have to look at from an attraction standpoint too. There is an appeal that older men have for 18-24 year old girls, who are in the best biological shape to have healthy children, but unless you take really good care of yourself that will have waned by the time you're in your forties, unless you want to make babies with a girl with daddy issues.

What the hell is wrong with you, no, leave her alone.

And why would you joke about a biologically born woman having a dick in your first message?? You're just all around offensive.

>>16659890
I realise that. That's why I wrote her my sincere apologies. I was in a weird mood after talking to a girl for weeks on the same app, who it turns out was just stringing me along for the luls, so didn't really take things seriously in that moment I pressed 'send'. I know that's no excuse, and usually I can take it or leave it, but this girl is incredibly beautiful and courageous, and I'd like to correct my mistakes, if not for any other reason than not wanting to add to the pile of assholes who've made her life and hard choices less enjoyable.

I also know where she works (she stated that in her bio as well, along with her Instagram)

I could send an envelope to her workplace with a note just saying "Sorry for offending you, please check your message requests!"

Is that better than social media?

>>16661463
Yeah, grills can be weird like that

I'm a dom in the bedroom so tried to introduce my current gf to various things within the bedroom. Initially she was reluctant, but asked what I'd done before with ex's

We were drunk one night and I just told her. Weirdly, it turned her on and now she's into it (and wants to push it further than what I've done before)... So it turned out fine

Conversely, I don't want any info on her past sex life whatsofuckingever

>>16661515
>Conversely, I don't want any info on her past sex life whatsofuckingever

FUCKING YES DUDE. Luckily my gf has no real past sex life, but whenever we come close to talking even about simple flings she once had I don't wanna hear it, I know from experience it'll do me no good and never leave my head.

So when this comes around to me I just tell her "honestly, you really don't even wanna hear it," but she keeps pressing on and on.

>>16661523
Yeah, exactly

To be honest, the best thing you could probably say is "I've had sex, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, I've always thought XYZ would be fun... What do you think?"

If she cried for so long she probably fucked him, sorry dude.

>does lingerie modeling
>has to have unhealthy eating habits for her job
>lied to you
>goes into a strange man's house
>goes into a strange man's house to model in her underwear
>accepts drinks from him
>gets blackout drunk
>gets blackout drunk around a strange man

I can't even list everything wrong with this. She sounds like she would make a very bad partner. I wouldn't be with someone like that.

>>16661263
Don't think she didn't fuck the guy just because he's fat/unattractive. She got drunk with him, probably at his direction, she got at least partially nude, at his direction. Women like feeling that a guy is in charge.

So chances are pretty good that she fucked him too. Why do you think she was crying?

Regardless, she deliberately lied to you and you have confirmation that she has shitty judgment. No point in getting mad about this, most women are like this. If it's no something you're willing to let go, move on.

I would probably downgrade her from serious girlfriend to girl-I-have-sex-with and don't be upset about whatever stupid shit she does. If you're not into casual sex or you can't keep your feelings ("love", jealousy, whatever else) out of it, you're better off moving on.

no, haven't you seen coyote ugly?

Stop idealizing shit you see on movies and TV.

>>16661013
i'm not i've been to both places for cons, i just want to live there

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I'm totally lost at what you want. Do you want to date this girl, but don't feel like comprising about the kid thing? If she wants kids and you don't a relationship isn't going to work long term.

>>16660437
Why not explain what you meant?

It's funny because when I was with my girlfriend (still in the beginning stages of the relationship) she told me that she could never marry a guy that couldn't give her kids. I was sterile due to medical reasons and when she said that it crushed me.

A week later I told her we were breaking up for that reason and she said "we'll figure something out" and stayed together.

I'll date you OP! I do not want kids either and I'm an AD. Match in heaven yeah?

"Yes, I agree, when I think of you I also think of animals who should be kept on a leash"

>>16661627
Na, you can pull that back, OP

Are you even trying?

Hmmm. I love her