Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6353. page

>>16730015

Would you say you're the kind of person who wants to be pleased, or the kind of person who wants to please others?

>>16730031

the latter.

>>16730015
I used to be like this back in the day until I made out with girls a few times, it really gets quite old to undress someone and then just not go all the way.

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>>16729741
What country are you in? Just curious about local homicide laws

anyone?

>>16729741

Tell your superiors that he is slandering you and making threats.

Seriously, don't fuck around and pussyfoot on this. Report the problem.

>>16729644

Where to start...

"Meeting standards" is not the opposite of "being yourself." It's very possible to do both of those things. I mean, do you have such a shitty opinion of yourself that NOT meeting other people's standards is central to your self-identity?

I don't know who told you that people should never change, but that person didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. People change and improve themselves all the time for a whole bunch of reasons, and attracting people is one of them. Nothing is wrong with that.

Changing something fundamental to your personality is a stupid idea. e.g. pretending to be an extrovert when you're actually an introvert. You'll burn yourself out that way and it won't make you happy. But improving yourself, getting an education, being healthy, working hard, trying to create something new? These are things we should all be striving for.

Look at yourself. Would you date you? No? Then why would anyone else?

>>16729644

I don't know what the fuck your pic is trying to say, but I'll do my best with your actual post.

Essentially, the answer is not necessarily to change yourself or just be yourself, but rather to BECOME yourself. In other words, cultivate your good qualities and develop yourself to your higher potential.

You might currently be a fat lonely NEET, but that doesn't mean that's the only kind of person you should be. Nor does it mean you have to throw everything away and master the art of underwater bioguitar engineering to make $700k starting.

You can be true to yourself (whatever that means to you) AND improve yourself.

>>16729673
I've always been changing and i'm always alone it doesn't matter who i am or what i enjoy in the end i'm alone doing something trying to find some sort of happiness but it's just escapism, because i don't any kind of fullfilment

>>16729681
Sounds impossible since i only know my weaknesses

>>16729632

Having a named disorder isn't an excuse to treat other people like shit. This is a super hard concept for people with mental illness, it seems, since they so often think because they have depression or whatever they can casually disregard the feelings of others. Nah. Fuck that. I tolerate my family members with disorders but only as far as family obligation demands. I feel no need to suffer unduly for their failure to cope with life.

Crazy people don't usually think they're crazy. Doesn't matter if they've been held in an institution, or that a professional told them they have something wrong with them. That's the disorder, they don't understand it. And apparently you don't understand it either.

>>16729799
Can you really be so detached from reality that even the thought that there may be things outside of your perception does not occur to you? I think about the way I appear to others all the time, and I think about behaviors I need to change. I find it hard to believe crazy people lack this capacity, I think they just experience exaggerated emotions and then as I said are too proud to admit they have a problem

If she does this often and she has shown you that her relationship with that other boy is strictly platonic, then let it continue. You have nothing to worry about. If she starts getting even closer to him than she already is, then you should have another talk with her.

>>16729326
It's suffering for me but I know that the right thing would be to let her free of doing those things. It's complicated because I am myself mentally unstable and thought that our relation would be a relief stress-wise. It's the contrary.

>>16729296
ask yourself this senpai - if they are both heterosexual and have such a strong bond what the fuck is she doing with you?

why does it bother you? she's happy, isn't she?

>>16729308
Im happy for her but i feel kind of nervous for her future

>>16729312
Gay or not, the future is the future. It doesn't even exist yet. What about this makes you nervous about her future?Don't stress so much. She's the exact same daughter, she just fucks girls.

Netflix and Chill. Its a meme for a reason

>>16729286

Haha, is that her in the pic?

She's going to be fat as shit.

>>16729298
Maybe OP likes that type of thing

>>16729049
you are letting me down, adv, come on pls :((

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Have a conversation with them like a mature adult? Unless you're like a high school kid where none of this shit matters. And I highly doubt that it's for "seemingly no reason", what is the real reason you think your friends stopped talking to you?

Say " hey what up we haven't hung out in a while. Want to do [a thing] at [a place]?"

See if they say anything.

*always ends the same, not goes great. I'm tired and upset.

>>16728601
Delete that bitch from your facebook. She's got some messed up shit going on and the only way you can win is to not play. Go drink with some friends and hit on some new girls at a bar or something.

>>16728601
Relax a bit and don't come across as over invested. That can be a bit hard to take at the beginning.

About the only thing you can do is tell her what a great time you had, how pretty or attractive you find her and you're looking forward to talking to her later.

If this is a pattern you've got from multiple dates with different girls then you're doing or saying something that's made them uncomfortable.

I hope you weren't having him pay for everything because you're "poor"

Lazy and crazy. You're a real keeper.

>>16728420
You've based your relationship on a lie. Great job.

Tell him you lied. If he stays with you he loves you.
Oh shit, or does he just love your money.

Oh no!!! Your lie was fucking meaningless because if the relationship went anywhere he would have inevitably found out.

Aww shit dawg.

Are you okay with getting the shit kicked out of you, robbed, being exposed to diseases, being looked down upon, eating sub-par meals, and possibly being raped?

>>16728399
additionally having no medical coverage and getting locked up or worse if you draw the ire of cops

why do you want to do this exactly?

>>16728399
Yes I plan on doing the same thing

>>16728386
Cheating never ends well. However, she seems to be alright with the idea of you fucking around while you were dating, and marriage is basically the second level of dating. You should consider having an open relationship. The thing is, you'd have to be okay with her fucking around too.

talk to her about being poly. Don't think marriage is the best thing for you if you cant be decent enough to commit 100%.
if it doesnt work, break up. You'll save each other a lot of paperwork

if she's unspokenly acknowledged that its ok for you to fuck around on the side as long as you do a good enough job hiding it she can pretend its not happening then why can't you just keep doing that?

Approach her as a caring friend, as you are. Hear her out. Ask why she's doing what she's doing, not because you want to judge her but just because you're genuinely worried for her. whether she's hostile or open about it, just be understanding.

Or you could take the "not my gf not my problem" route, but I sense you care for this girl as a friend first, and are over the relationship.

There's really not much you can do to help her, it's all just words on a screen. You can help by listening, but that's about it. What she's doing is really self-destructive and won't lead to happiness, though. She'll also have a hard time ever finding a bf again with a slutty reputation like that... Sounds like she needs to go to therapy and stop destroying her life. :( This post is really sad to me because I have witnessed my friends do this shit...

>>16728337
say this,
"You clearly feel guilty about it, since you wanted to tell someone. Given that that someone was me, given that we used to date and you know that I would probably be the least likely person to encourage you to keep this kind of behavior up. Well, I think you should stop doing it. That's what you want to hear, right? The thing is, I can't actually make you stop. I can't make you do anything. You need to decide where your low point is. Is that low point here, where you obviously feel guilty or less than happy with your behavior? Or does something bad need to happen first?

Either way, you already know the answer to your problems. Stop smoking weed. Stop drinking. Stop doing drugs. Take care of yourself. Spend time with the people who care about you instead of people you feel you need to prove something to.
Figure out what you want out of life, not just out of this moment, and work toward that."


Just send her that.

an hero

>>16728271
Yes I am hetero

>>16728262
>live at home

Where the fuck else would you live?

could be, yes

Contact your local MRA

>for paying some dude to see his dick