Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6335. page

>>16762325
Jailbird jokes are only understood by jailbirds. Trust me. I know what you're talking about.

>>16762325
give examples
i want a laugh

>>16762335
I'm not a criminal, sorry.

>>16762349
It's mostly situational/ironic humor.

>>16762186
No, being a farmer makes you a man

You do realize you could end up with a woman for a boss in the military too, right?

>there are female army rangers, even
>gender-integrated boot camps

It's a shame the military is less sexist than you are.

If you leave are you aware it will be very hard to find a new job?

>>16762160

I don't want a new job. I'll go back to studying.

>>16762175
> Ahhh, here we see the lifelong student in the wild. Watch as he hunts spare change from his couch to buy ramen, so that he may continue to live another day.

>>16762098
whatever you feel is best
take this as a lesson: if she just wants you as a friend it means you aren't improving yourself

>>16762108
The circumstances here aren't normal for our break up. I've posted this story here a lot, but it pretty much goes that she broke up with me 2 days after she talked to her parents about her sexual assault from a cousin, I freak out and think that telling biological mom about what had happened(she had talked to her bio dad and step-mom) might somehow help her (dumbass move, I know), she then started to hate me and then we argued once 2 weeks ago, and then we haven't talked since. I have no idea what to do here with all this shit. I'm just an 18 year old high school senior.

>>16762139
I might as well add that after the fight, she said that maybe in a month that we could try being friends again. That's the part that gets to me.

It's not that hard to come up with a retarded tripname.

Fuck, I did it.

>>16761540
Tripfags are scum of the Earth.

See:Truckerfag. Probably a serial killer preying on hookers and hitchhikers.

>>16761548
Yeah but I don't want a retarded name. Want a nice one that clearly exemplifies my best characteristics? Or something.

>>16761561
Funny you should mention him. He suggested I trip up again, and is the reason for the thread existing.

>>16761116

congrats. the big thing here is that its kind of up to you. things may be overpriced but you can also save up or considering getting a credit card to buy it now and paying it off 300 bucks at a time.

one thing you can do is google 'cool things for bachelor pad' and look at all the lists that come up. another you can do is just go to craigslist and look at what cheap furniture they have there that fits your style. another thing you can do is go to pinterest and look at variations for things like 'cool rooms' and the such and try to find pictures to model your own room after. theres a LOT of options and unfortunately 'simple, clean, and functional' isnt a lot for us to go off of.

think about any cool artwork or posters you might like (but have them framed so they look classy, not just pinned up.

consider investing in a talking point. i have some dinosaur fossils hanging on my wall.

consider your personal interests and see if there is anything related to that. dorks have a lot of merchandise these days. rubiks cube tissue boxxes, spiderman cookie jars etc.

>>16761138

make sure to google things like 'cool' and 'decoration'. most of the list that come up are like

>HURR DURR GET SOME POTS AND PANS CUZ LUL XD MEN DONT KNOW HOW TO COOK BUT THEY NEED TO LEARN

is all thats coming up. one thing you can do is look for cool pictures of bedrooms nad living rooms and just remodel everything you can to look like it, one piece at a time

Why dont you go with minimalism for now until you find stuff that you really like and THEN buy it?

You dont have to blow your expendable income on shit you dont really want just to fill up your apartment.

>>16761029
>8/10 at best
So you're more like a 4 or 5 by the real worlds standards. Adv standards are horribly low.

>8/10 at best

Thats actually pretty attractive and you should be turning heads if thats the case. Anyway you never met him so he probanly has no idea who you are. If you want to you can try hanging around places he goes to and strike up a convo there or ty and find him on okc, but dont fb him, that is weird.

>>16761029
if you just want to fuck him then yeah, be forward and be easy. you'll ride Chad's cock and he'll move on.

>>16760807
how often do you think of ending it?

Why are you a virgin?

>>16760807
do u have powers

>>16760631
as long as we're monogamous i don't really give a fuck what your sexual preference is. just opens up the possibility of a MFF threesome if everyone is cool with it.

>>16760631
I wouldn't date a bi girl unless she's pretty much perfect and never been with a girl before me. It's just too fucking weird imo.

I'd date a bi girl, but then, I'm bi.

Does he think it makes you more likely to cheat or something? I don't see the issue. :s

Think of it this way, SHE'LL NEVER GET A MODEL TO GO OUT WITH HER.

>>16760525
she's trying to give you a hint to get to the gym and take care of yourself more.

shit ain't complicated nigga. she's too much of an aspie to communicate properly.

>>16760536

True, but she could do better than me. Even average girls can date very hot guys these days, I see it often enough

>>16760494
how long ago did you have sex and fail to maintain an erection?

cutting back on masturbation will help.

your "medical" issue makes no sense. having respiratory issues because of not ejaculating? it makes no fucking sense. it's just in your head or you're jumping to desperate conclusions.

nigga, go get laid.

>>16760516
>How long since last physical sex;
2 years.

I'm legitimately having symtoms of panic attacks. I've had those before for not masturbating once i got horny. I am addicted to porn. I've noticed i rarely, very rarely, get a full erection. I lose about 1 inch and half everytime because i never get fully erect, and once i did, i was like ''woah, i'm this big?'', i don't even remember the circumstances. Also all erections are so ''softly'' looking, well, never in fact full erect. I want ways to get over those almost panic attacks other than outright ignoring it.

>I have this burning feeling of my chest that is hard to ignore, sometimes it's even hard to breath

Medfag reporting, this could well be an unrelated issue, and you're just mentally blaming the lack of fapping. Burning feeling in the chest is a 911 call buddy, no exceptions.

Remind yourself that at least you're not a nigger

>>16760394
Nope. Not working.

A nigger with my advances and education would be massively popular where I'm from purely for being one.

>>16760405
Then use your fucking advances and education.

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>>16760324
you're craving happiness anon.

>>16760331
how do I make it stop.

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>>16760338
you post sad frog memes on /adv/

>>16760236
If the guy's history tells you that he doesn't like chubby/ugly girls then you should meditate wether he's worth the effort of losing weight or not.

Offer to suck dick or become attractive.

Find someone who actually wants to be with you and whom you have chemistry with.

If interest isn't requited, you move on.

>feel free to try to become more attractive I guess, if by that you mean like losing weight and getting better with makeup

>>16759595
Don't be a prick. Respect their relationship.

>>16759595
you get one shot at life, burn everything to the ground to get what you want

>>16759649

Don't do this. You'll poison your spoils if you get them by means you can't live with.