Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6265. page

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>>16778388
>It's been 3 weeks.

>>16778394

I don't wanna end up being a guy who doesn't get over a relationship for half a year or a decade, I've seen it happen. I'm trying to start getting over it now. This girl was amazing, even if we had never slept together she would have easily been my coolest friend. I need to get past that.

>>16778400
Why did you break up?

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Yeah, relax, anon. You focused on her pretty intently. Now you can relax a bit. You'll be OK.

Consider it a gift, most guys can't last long enough.

When you want to cum, have her do something that reaaalllly turns you on. Like give you head while she plays with her tits, or something.


What I do when I'm ready to cum is fuck my gf doggy style while staring at her asshole. For some reason it just blows my mind, then I cum on it.

>>16778979
It's still almost just as bad because we both end the session leaving kinda disappointed because shes invested time to also get me off but she can and I'm obviously disappointed cause I didn't get the climax I wanted.

Yeah, he seems real responsible, trustworthy and mature. Definitely boyfriend-material. Get pregnant already

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>>16778322
I guess I need to elaborate on the advice I need, sorry.

Do you think he popped that out because we slept together? He knows that I am MUCH more inexperienced and this is my first time doing such outside of a serious relationship. Maybe he is saying them out of guilt.

WHY would he tell me just a while ago that he wants us to get to know each other better but then continually act in a way pushing for a relationship and later even ask me if I would "mind" if we were in a relationship, as though I didn't just bring it up a week ago.

I mean the inconsistencies are just baffling to me. I have been very open and comfortable with taking things his pace but he is very confusing. I asked him what he was doing for Valentine's and he clammed and then said he'd leave space for me. I felt kind of disappointed that he clearly hadn't thought of it, but was satisfied that we'd spend the day together. A few meetings after this discussion and he outright asks me on a date for Valentine's. I asked him why he didn't before and he said he was afraid I would say no. BUT I OPENLY ASKED HIM OUT FIRST?

His behavior is so perplexing. What purpose does he have in acting this way? What does it all mean? I need assistance.

>>16778328
>Responsible
In Spain, people drink often. It is simply a fact of life. Him having his items stolen while at a gathering with people he is supposed to trust is NOT his fault. No victim blaming, even if the victim was being stupid and drunk.
>Trustworthy
I have confided in him with utter security and he's not once broken my trust. He simply has inconsistencies between his actions and what he says. I am simply unsure of why this cognitive dissonance is occurring how it is and was hoping /adv/ would bring a bit of clarity/outside perspective.
>Mature
He is in most aspects. When we discussed our relationship status initially, it was done very calmly and politely at a Japanese restaurant. I have never seen him get drunk like this but it was definitely a special occasion. I am not going to discount the majority of times he acts in a very mature way simply because he got drunk and acted immature. I understand if I am painting him in a bad light, but that is not my intention. I simply want advice on how to proceed/maybe some insightful comments as to WHY he could be acting this way (from people with similar experiences).

He is definitely boyfriend-material-- strong family ties, intelligent, computer programmer, degree, attractive, kindhearted, gentlemanly, etc. etc.

We were both using birth control, it was very safe sex. Thanks for the completely unhelpful comment however, people like you really contribute to the overall quality of this board.

>>16778312
Well.

I worked in an office supply store that specialized in computers,phones and god damn office supplies. Had a small case of social anxiety too, but mostly solved after that.

Interested in listening in?

>>16778323
Definitely, please share

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focus on your job. Speak using your knowledge, rely on your strengths. You'll be fine.

'mild social anxiety' is well within the range of normal. You'll be fine.

>>16778299
I'm in the same shoes as you are,
I've tried to cut contact, i.e blocking them, but i always end up getting back like a runaway dog. I've also tried quarreling with the person said, didn't work out. It's so damn distracting, and i feel as a much weaker person when i'm in love.
Sorry no advice.

>>16778299
>>16778784

>find another gril you beta xD

That's the only answer you'll ever get here

>>16778299
Meditate on the thought that girls come and go. There are lots of them and since it's only a crush, it's not like you're passing up the one and only. Might be a can of worms instead.

Or just ask her out and hit your apathetic rock bottom cold turkey.

TL;DR; Focus on all the other pretty girls.

>>16778282

A little more info, she says she often feels like shes missing out because her friends nearly always are together, and sometimes when shes with me we dont have a whole lot to do.

>>16778282
>she has noticed it too and believes its because she has felt like her friends lift her up and are generally more fun to hang with because they share similar interests.


Well shit OP. This has happened to me too and it ended with us breaking up over it amiably.

>it got more serious she started back peddling a bit and saying it could be a phase and that she does actually enjoy her time with me and is conflicted a lot of the time as to who to see.

Ehhh. She still isnt saying that she prefers your company to that of her friends. I would say that her argumentation revolved around the basis of "i need more time to know what i want" which, to me, = stalling.

> She wants to move forward and try to see me more but it makes me feel guilty, like im smothering her, i just want us to see each other because thats what we both want.

Sounds like what most people want out of a relationship, thing is that you need both parties to want that..

I can only tell you OP that sometimes things and people change and that they have a right to do so, as they are their own person with their own hopes and dreams.

I understand you being hurt very well, but i would advise you to think very well about what to do next.

When i was in your position i dragged it out with my partner for at least 5 months or longer, which i really shouldnt have, looking back up on it.

I would advise you to take a walk outside, if you can, and to just think about what you want from life and if you want to spend it with somebody that would rather spend their time with friends etc.

Listen to music too, but do something active for at least 30 minutes so that you wont feel like complete shit.

Good luck OP.

>>16778313

Thank you, this is such a strange feeling. I don't doubt that she wants to stay together and does love me, but i dont like feeling second best. But at the same time i love her and dont want to break up, i almost wish she would do it for me so i dont have to, but she doesnt want to, so i'm left with just seeing how it goes from here...

>>16778207
just leave your ex alone

OP here honestly at this point I am ready to let go, but reading the actual message I conjured in notepad made me tear up a bit and think of the good times and it's always so hard to say final goodbyes no matter who it is...

>>16778212
i just wanted to say a final good bye :/ to feel like the air is cleared and no hard feelings

>>16778202
The state of Illinois used to have a special grant and/or cheap mortgage for just that sort of thing. Your state might have something like that.

Prostitution is nice

>>16778202
2,408 Sq/Ft
1 Acre Lot
4 Bedroom 2 Bath
Finished Basement with Den, 2 Bedrooms, Kitchenette, Wash Room, Boiler Room.

We paid $55,000 for it, and it is in great shape other than needing a new roof and some minor water damage repair.

Updating, another issue. 1930's kitchen, 1940's bathrooms... *sigh*

Nigger chill, everything is fine.

>>16778199
relax girl. If you are worried by this much just jump on him the next time you see him.

If youre really this worried, talk to him about it. What man would say no to a discussion of "do you want more sex???"

Damn you emotional.

>>didn't have sex with gf for 4 months
>>didn't really feel like it
>>at some point i recalled she never initiated anything
>>so i decided to wait until she initiates
>>didn't happen
>>broke up with her over some bullshit reason


don't worry 4 days is nothing

>>16778195
Talk to a doctor about this. Its good that youre at least thinking about this.

>>16778224
I don't trust random doctors and I don't really know any good ones unless it's related to sports injuries. Not really an option.

>>16778253
Youre a hyppocrite. You dont trust people that worked 8+ years to earn their license to work this profession, but you trust random faggots on an anonymous imageboard?

Are you retarded?

Look up doctors in your area and their reviews and then go and talk to several. Or maybe read papers on the subject over the internet, i dont know.

But a medical question should only ever be answered by a practitioning doctor, what is so hard about that?

Someone help me pls mf

>>16778204
Hey man just start with the basics like name and such, then ask if you guys would like to meet up somewhere :^D

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Here you go

>>16778132
Neither.

I tried both before and they both suck. Scenario 2 is harder to get over. I pick Scenario 3, stay single and masturbate until a girl meeting your standards enters your life.

>>16778110
Yes i have and it is true to a certain degree.

What "most" people that i value search for is genuinity. As in, people that are comfortable being themselves.

There was this huge turbonerd in my class last semester and i was talking to this one girl about him, who i considered would trash him because he was a low-beta guy.

But she blew my mind when she actually stated that she really respected him for being who he was and for being so genuine about his views.

When i asked her what she thought about me she told me that she thought that i think too much and that one can feel that.

That really blew my mind at the time and i have now come to accept this worldview while trying to be more genuine myself.

However, the gist of the message is also to try to accept that failure in interacting with some people will happen if you are unwilling to conform, which is what happens when you are genuine.

As such: be prepared for people to laugh behind your back for as long as they dont clap at you.

Change may come, but you will have to work on it and your attitude.

These are my 2 cents on it OP, i hope it helps.

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>she says no
>says she's going away to college in the fall so she doesn't want a relationship
>super embarrassed after I sober up
>she ends up going out with a mutual friend a short time later
>makes things a little awkward between us but we still talk
>I lie to myself and say I'm over her
>they break up before she goes to school in the fall anyways
>fast forward 6+ months
>she goes to a community college near home, college was too expensive
>see each other semi often when I'm home from school, usually with other friends
>always subtly (or not subtly) hoping something will happen between us and wanting to flirt with her when we hang out
>sometimes try to communicate this with subtle flirtation (i.e. "accidental" touches, being really nice/generous)
>she actually seems to respond sometimes, but I'm shitty at it and always assume she did it accidentally or something
>seems like she's more interested in casual sex so I'm not sure what to do
>saw each other somewhat often while I was home on break, until recently
>she's all I can think about
>normally I would only want a real and long-lasting relationship but I eventually realize if she just wanted to fuck me I might let her
>holy shit I'm a mess
>I really like her though
>lose sleep over it some nights
>don't have the slightest clue what to do about it

Do you think she might be interested in me after all or do I have no chance? How do I even start to do something about it?

>Nose piercing

If you manage to fuck her make sure to use a condom

I'm a girl, 18, who has been in almost this exact situation but from the opposite perspective. So, this is my advice, from someone who seems to have experienced the same stuff as your crush: Instead of expecting her to pick up on your little flirtatious advances, or trying to impress her in some way, for christ sake just talk to her about it. Just say something like "Hey I think you are super cool and I enjoy hanging out together, would you maybe want to go on a date some time?" or "I've started to really like you, do you think you could see us being together in the future?" If my friend had done that, and just had an honest conversation with me about how we both felt, it would have saved him a lot of over-thinking everything I say to him, and it would have saved me a lot of awkward attempts at being hit on. The worst that can happen is she says no, or that she doesn't feel the same, then you just move on. I am still friends with the guy, you will get past the awkwardness of talking about your feelings.