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ok /adv/ help me out
I've been texting this girl I met through a tinder-inspired app for stoners and so far, we have a fair amount in common. I seem to converse with her pretty easily, something that's rare for me because I find it hard to relate to most people. she seems like a genuinely chill person to be around and I want to see where this could lead.
but here's the problem: so far, our conversations have taken on a platonic tone, meaning I only talk to her as I'd talk to a friend. I'm semi-convinced she's looking for a romantic relationship too but the doubt in my mind stops me from fully committing at this point. in the off-chance that she has no sexual or romantic interest in this, I don't want to fuck up the chance at friendship since I don't know anyone in this town (just moved here) and desperately need some new friends. she generally tends to follow my lead in the conversation so it's up to me to escalate it to a more romantic/sexual level.
my dilemma: I don't know how to do that, because I've never been in a relationship before. How do you hint at a romantic involvement without compromising the current relationship? How do you smoothly transition from stranger to acquaintance to romantic/sexual partner? It feels strange to just straight-up ask her out after the conversations we've had, but at the same time the longer I wait the lower the chances are of it happening. How long do you wait before escalating? Or is it a case of "the earlier the better"? My starting point here is asking her if she has a boyfriend but I don't know where to go from there.
Any advice on the language used and the general tone of conversation would be helpful. Bear in mind I've been texting her since yesterday and we'll be meeting up next week, so I have a few more days to "test the waters" so to speak.
>pic unrelated
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>>18591675
nobody?
i should have better than to ask 4chan for relationship advice
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Yeah, it is going to be hard as fuck to know if she wants a relationship, because you just meet her on a stoner app.
And it does not help that you only "semi" think that she has some interest in you, but I guess you could try to give hints.
But normally the girl should be the one with the hints, since you giving hints might make you look weird and then lose her.
Shit's hard to answer, yo.
Maybe some stoner anon will help you soon.
So I have a mild panty fetish. Couple days ago I took some /adv/ice to buy some (clean) ones, which turned out to be a good suggestion. In fact I'm wearing pink ones right now (got a pack of six off Amazon).
Here's the thing. I've never indulged in a fetish in a concrete way like this and I'm wondering if I should nip this in the bud. Conflicted as to whether it's healthy to engage in this kind of deviant sexual behavior, even if it is harmless.
Thoughts?
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>>18591618
Every fetish is fine as long is in moderation so it does not affect your life or it harms people, children or yourself.
And I hope you're hiding this fetish well if you're not living alone.
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>>18591618
Technically it's not a fetish unless it's the only way you can get aroused. If you can have a satisfying "normal" sex life, then occasionally wearing panties is just a fun thing for you. If you find yourself avoiding real sex because the panties are more exciting, then you have a problem
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I white, but girls (only) often give me this very look, albeit a little less severe. What do they mean by it? I'm scared.
(ignore the text)
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>>18591581
Women are a mystery anon; but perhaps a description of yourself could shed some light on your situation.
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>>18591581
It's just an acknowledgement of a stranger. It's a lame attempt at politeness from a person who doesn't want to open a door to conversation, for whatever reason. It probably means nothing about you
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My boyfriend isn't sure if he wants to be in a relationship with me and actively avoids talking to me on certain days, yet he wants me to move in with him? Idk if it's even worth continuing the relationship because I feel like I put in 110% effort and he's just existing with it.
Oh, that and I've fallen in love with my childhood friend who has explicitly stated he'd date me, but both him and I are currently in relationships. I'm also pretty sure I'm still in love with my current boyfriend, or at least the idea of him in my head.
Thoughts on how to proceed with either situation?
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My advice to you is to go play in traffic.
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Why do you feel the need of being in a relationship? Why don't you just be alone for a while and think about what you really want
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>>18591580
I do want to be in a relationship, I spent my first year of uni single and I didn't enjoy the hook up culture. I hate the idea of leaving my boyfriend but i dont know if anything is going to come out of this relationship
Anonymous
Random woman on YouTube 2017-08-05 06:26:10 Post No.18591547
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I was in a video player chatroom with some cool guys, and they were playing -300 views YouTube videos, because some of those uploads are very unusual and interesting. They found this woman, who seems to be somewhere between 20 and 30, who is slightly overweight and has a lazy eye. She was making a "lifestyle vlog" and makeup tutorial channel, but there was something weirdly kind and honest about her.
She claims to have immigrated from Russia as a child, and doesn't seem to be phased by the production quality of her channel, or the fact that she has under 100 subscribers. Maybe she is a little bit on the dumb side?
Some of us in the chatroom have dated women you would consider smart and traditionally attractive, so we were gently making fun of this girl to ourselves, because there *is* something beautiful and endearing about her. I started looking at her and thinking to myself, she is actually really charming, and I would like a chance to talk to her. I wanted to know more about what she was like, and I felt kind of aroused at the same time.
She has under 100 subscribers,so...should I just state my interest outright, and see if she responds? Her profile is active, so I think she would read it, unless YouTube's personal message function has been buried too deep into its convoluted interface. Maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep. What do you guys think?
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>>18591547
Just find a Twitch QT that has no viewers much easier to talk to them then some rando girl on youtube
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>>18591572
If it's not her in particular, I'd rather just meet a girl in real life. I'm asking about her specifically, because she's sort of fascinating.
Anonymous
Nomad, friends and gf 2017-08-05 06:09:13 Post No.18591526
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Nomad, friends and gf 2017-08-05 06:09:13 Post No.18591526
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I move a lot.. life pulls me in different directions, the last 4 years I spent in 4 different counties. I’m 21, have trouble making long terms friends and also never had a gf. I’m good looking, but everytime someone shows interest, it just seems like a tease.. because I don’t even know where I will go later. Career wise I am very far ahead, soon will be very wealthy.
How does a nomad find comfort? I prefer a meaningful relationship than just fucking girls
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>>18591526
What a pencil-headed person.
Anyway, answering your post, you need to have the guts to start the relationship if you want a gf, since I'm sure you're a male in your early 20's who just wants somebody to live with comfortably.
And if your career's good, eventually you will find a place that you will permanently live in, unless you're from the military or something.
But going back again on relationships, you gotta start it senpai, because girls will never start something first, like asking you for a date just like your chink toons.
And having a good LTR you would need the girl to know you well and how is your current career situation of moving everytime, because if a girl will love you for real, she will move in with you and live the "nomad" life with you.
Especially if it's a girl that pays rent, of course.
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>>18591544
Thanks.
It’s not a problem that I am scared to make the first move, but rather I don’t know if I want to face the pain later on.
For now, there is a girl that is super interested, I want to take her out but she is leaving the country at the end of the month.. maybe a possibility of coming back next summer.. so in a situation like this, what do i do? Don’t want to the ejaculate and evacuate thing that my friends tell me, it’s just sleezy and bad karma
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The fuck? I didn't get that red "!"
>>18591567
>It’s not a problem that I am scared to make the first move, but rather I don’t know if I want to face the pain later on.
Life's full of pain, just look at yourself and your small pain of living the "nomad" life and not having a gf.
You gotta find the right girl, and that's not on the bar.
>For now, there is a girl that is super interested, I want to take her out but she is leaving the country at the end of the month.. maybe a possibility of coming back next summer.. so in a situation like this, what do i do?
Well, it is rare that a long distance relationship works, and there is only interest and not relationship, so you could always try to take the start and see if she wants to have a relationship with you.
But I do not guarantee that you will have a nice experience with this kind of relationship.
And hey, since a girl has interest in you already, I'm pretty sure you can get more girls interested in you!
So you shouldn't feel bad when the girl says no.
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I feel like a bad person. I have a sort of fetish that baffles me. My boyfriend is sick right now and I get incredibly aroused when I cuddle with him. I don't like that he is sick. I don't want to be sick but it seems like something I won't catch. Anyways sick people aren't sexy. The vulnerability and tenderness just makes me melt. I hope the affection isn't awkward for him and that he enjoys it. I tried to sex him up in an ambien haze recently and he was into it too but the fumbling woke up our girlfriend and upset her. I'm worried I perverted something that was supposed to be sweet and innocent.
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>>18591461
It's not entirely uncommon in women. Just make sure you're not putting too much of a strain on him.
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>>18591461
Well, he's your boyfriend. The general idea is that you can share anything with eachother, so you may as well ask if he could humour you.
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>>18591788
Just allow for any boundaries, he'd do the same for his own fetishes if you asked.
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How do you make the cost benefit analysis of when to end a relationship?
Been with a girl 2.5 and we've been "engaged" pretty much that whole time. She's got mental issues, dependency shit, and refuses doctors or therapy. OCD as fuck which is annoying to have to live with. She's intelligent but nothing special. Tumblr tier.
But she's a genuinely good person. And she's genuinely obsessed with me. Like, I'm afraid she'll kill herself if i end it outta nowhere like this, but I can't keep responding to constant "i love yous" to someone i''m not sure i love fuck that
Clearly im conflicted and high. Any advice anons?
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>>18591434
does she do all of the things that you want her to do?
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>>18591454
she tries, but her ocd keeps her from doing a lot. And she's bipolar. i never know when she'll be acting crazy.
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>>18591459
after 2 years, if she hasnt learned how to do the things you want her to do, its time to either crack down on her autonomy or move on. you cant let crazy off the leash.
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I'm meeting my long distance boyfriend next week IRL for the first time ever. I'm extremely anxious about whether or not he'll still love me or what he will think of me irl even though our bond is strong. Do any anons have advice or experience with this sort of thing? How has it gone for you all? Any advice?
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>>18591417
I mean hes obviously a beta faggot with a lot of issues in the first place if you're his long distance girlfriend, and youve never met him before. Bottom line is youll be fine, try not to worry and instead focus on this person who loves you and WILL accept you for who you are.
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>>18591417
I don't have any advice but I hope all goes well!
>>18591417
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Real talk, I am 18 and going to college, What should I major in, I like tech, and i want an actually useful degree.
Help
I Was thinking about Computer science, but that involves a TON of math and I am bad at it, But something that can net you a decent career that makes 60-120k
I like technology and I believe I am good with logical thinking and common sense Help please
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>>18591395
don't do computer science if you're not interested in algorithms, problem solving, math, and programming, and theoretical shit.
Can you be a bit more specific about what "tech" you like and what interests you about it? Do you just like computers? do you enjoy deconstructing cd drives and making CNC machines?
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>>18591418
>>18591418
I feel I am good with critical thinking, I and I enjoy science and I want something that will make me feel good after coming home after work, Sciences, I am learning how to program, and I like building computers, I need something that is useful, I know this is a meme, but My Myers Briggs personality type is INTP . So maybe something related to that
>>18591418
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>>18591529
I just don't want to be useless i have to have something that requires above average intelligence to attempt
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How the fuck do I stop being so emotionally needy and lovesick?
>insufferable austistic nerd as a youngster
>used to idealize women a lot, always rejected by lack of action & clinginess, this really scarred me
>many years pass
>now extroverted & pretty normal
>still can't fucking control myself emotionally when dealing with love/relationships
I just met a girl on Tinder and we set up a date on Sunday, we have pretty cool conversations, we've a lot in common, she seems significantly interested. However, she sometimes takes long to respond, even while online. The terrible shit I experienced in the past takes over, and I turn into a beta baby, expecting her messages, biting my nails and overthinking everything about the situation.
How do I love myself? How do I stop caring about "needing" someone else? How does one dissociate bad emotions and worries from stuff like this? Thanks!
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>>18591391
>How do I stop caring about "needing" someone else?
Don't be a member of a social species that reproduces sexually, of course.
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I dunno my man. I have severe trust issues myself and I'm seeing it only now that I'm going out with someone.
Makes me want to hang myself.
I'd say keep trying, try hard at not sperging out and "being normal". I know it's the most vague advice ever, but what I'd like you to not do is to give up on dating etc. because of the issues you have with it.
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As someone with intense abandonment issues OP, I know your feels well. Monitoring this thread.
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I just want to be a social person with friends and qt girls to hang out with. It hurts me to go outside to the stores and see all these attractive women. So many and not one is interested in my sorry ass.
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>>18591373
Same advice as always, change yourself so you can have a change in your life.
By having a better appearance, you can easily get the self-confidence to talk to girls in general and then ask them out and you know the rest.
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I don't like me. I hate me. I wish I wasn't me. All of the things I do are tainted by who I am. Every time I want to imagine something good in my life I'm someone else because even in my head I always ruin it otherwise. Why can't I ever be any good? Other people can do things and be great but when I do the same thing it's terrible and wrong. Everything I've ever done right is hollow and fake, like I didn't even really do it, but filled a role while predetermined events occured in sequence around me. Whenever my self, my own actions, without any third party planning or supervisions come into play I always ruin everything. Sometimes I even mess it all up with help. Why am I like this? Why can't I just be the right person?
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>>18591361
Well anon, what makes you thing you aren't good? Could you give some examples?
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>>18591396
Name any thing. From messing up school projects with bad grammar to putting the sheets on my bed the wrong way to failing to put a specific example in my 4chan post to buying the wrong laptop because I misread the screen size and then trying to return it to the wrong store. I always mess up, whether it's just the first try or something with no recourse for failure. I can never seem to properly execute even basic tasks if I have any degree of autonomy with which to mess up. I made 9 typos typing this up.
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>>18591361
everyone feels like this, get over it, fucking pussy
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Is it possible to force yourself into enjoying something?
for example spending your time drawing
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I have to force myself to try new things, but I start enjoying them when I see results. If you go at something for a while with no results it's easy to give up but patience can lead to greater results, it's just a case of predicting whether or not the effort you put in will pay off at some point. Drawing is one of those things that takes a lot of patience, so just keep at it knowing that each shitty scribble is taking you closer to your goal. Also look at different kinds of drawing, you may have more style than technical ability or be better at life drawings, so do whatever you enjoy most.
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>>18591288
no, not really. you start to tolerate the thing youre trying to make yourself like but you never really enjoy it.
or maybe the complete opposite is true. imjust speaking from experience.
Anonymous
I need to talk to someone. I need some perspective in life 2017-08-05 04:28:57 Post No.18591260
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I need to talk to someone. I need some perspective in life 2017-08-05 04:28:57 Post No.18591260
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I need to talk to someone. I need some perspective in life
Anonymous
2017-08-05 04:28:57
Post No. 18591260
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I'm Salaryman#0032 on discord. I need some advice and would like to talk to someone.
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sage goes in all fields
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>>18591260
does /adv/ have a discord?
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friend request sent