Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6114. page

>>16851301
You find him, beat the shit out of him, spit on his face, and tell him that he's a shit friend and a terrible person. Then, using your steel toed boots, kick in the head until he's unconscious. After that, leave and enjoy your life.

>>16851301
You goosed it p hard famalam.

What do these out-reachings consist of? Do they feature the words 'I'm sorry'?

Try those.

>>16851309
Wtf anon, no

>>16851355
No, it was pretty casual messages and snapchats. I dont know how to apologise desu

>>16851260

im not even sure where to begin here mate. you're asking for an entirely personality factory reset. it doesnt exist.

literally the only advice we can give is 'calm your tits'.

>>16851262
I dunno, everything just gets so damn important, and i need to like, fix them, and fix me, and fix a new apartment and etc. etc.

Maybe im just not meant to have a relationship because i can't handle them.

Think about what you're saying before you say it. If you recognize when you're doing it, just be mindful of your current feelings and whether or not the text/communication serves any real purpose.

>>16851233

idk. my dicks about 6.5 inches, my feet arent that big tho

it's not, trust me, my feet are loooong but my dick is average or slightly below average according to google

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SILLY GIRL HE JUST WANTS TO GO DANCING

>>16851228

>making him jerk off
>making him

go outside.

>>16851238
I didn't mean it like that anon, Jesus Christ that sounded bad. Im not gonna be like "anon pls jerk off b4 clubz pls <3" But phone sex and get him horny and cum, yes.

i think that's a fairly normal though/impulse/whatever for people that have been in relationships for a long time. maybe i'm wrong, but i've had feelings like this when i was dating someone and i know other people that have too. i think what's most important is that you recognize it's just another intrusive thought/feeling... and nothing more. what makes you human is that you have the ability to process it and reject it as something you'd rather not do. i think you're already on the right track, since you realize acting on them would hurt your girlfriend.
in terms of a real solution, just keep rejecting them as something just intrusive. you may need to reignite a spark in your relationship to make yourself feel a little more attracted to your gf than before. try different things in the bedroom, going out to different places, etc. there are a ton of resources online and offline for ideas on how to do new things in your relationship. good luck OP.

>>16851226
How often family? Are you pining for new puss like every day? That's not helpful.

If it's rare then who cares. You aren't going to act on it and it doesn't matter.

You likely settled into long term too early, nbd. Stay committed and just keep dismissing the thought and it should eventually go away.

>>16851242
Shit... Thanks a lot. This is my first time on /adv/ and I didn't know it'd be so helpful. Guess I'm just used to the other boards. Thank you though, this was genuinely helpful.

They can clog pores, yeah.

if you used that, then yes, it's extremely likely that a pore/hair follicle got clogged with the oil and your skin is just reacting to it. despite what people say, don't use coconut oil as a moisturizer/lube/whatever on the skin. it's non-comedogenic and can fuck up your skin. and stop using oil-based lubes. they break down condoms and can cause skin problems (stick to water or silicon).

>>16851250

This - it is likely folliculitis.

Hit the store and buy some anti-bacterial soap like Dial and start using it to wash your groin when you're bathing... do this now if possible. If you let it "fester" then it will spread rapidly and a lay person looking at your dick will think you have herpes.

If you have insurance you should see your doctor asap and get some anti-bacterial cream. If it is severe enough they will give you an antibiotic.

Just say thanks.

>>16851180
I would, but I feel like that would be somewhat rude not calling her pretty after complimenting me.

>>16851144
First things first: You're never going to fuck that girl. EVER. Get that into your skull now.

What you can do is start to develop the skills that will let you fuck other girls down the line.

Embrace the fact that you'll never fuck her and just don't care about what goes down.

>it will seem odd if I just show up and start talking to her
No it won't. Own it. Just start talking to her. Engage her. Ask questions. Try to learn what she's like.

Years from now, in the far distant future, you'll be talking to another girl. Act the way that you acted towards this girl and you'll be golden.

>>16851171
I don't want to "fuck" her she's smart and shy and she stares at me and sometimes our eyes meet

>>16851194
Then just talk to her about something you like. Channel your inner Trump.

>>16851126
>shoots down or ignores every objective reply until they get exactly the answer they were looking for
Yep. That's what most people are like. Welcome to humanity.

>>16851148
Nah. IRL there's a good 50% chance they're actually going to consider the input they requested. Here its literally 5%.

Way to give all the information. Thanks for this non-garbage post.

>I hope you're having a lovely night
I'm not sure anon. Scholars have debated what this means since Socrates. It's a very complex sentence, it has varying amounts of words in different languages yet the occasions where a woman is prompted to say this seems to have some correlation with the time of day and her intentions towards the receiver of this message. Some morons would suggest the simplest solutions is likely the best. They suggest that she's trying to confer that she hopes you're having a lovely night. But this can clearly not be the case because it's been heard among complete strangers or people who just recently met. She's not invested in how well the night is going really. And for the most part if you consider the effects of your night going well without her presence then you should realize that it compromises her position slightly because she's not a vital part of the events occurring during the night. Generally the message is transmitted at departure. There's the possibility that the person is saying this because she wants to feel good about herself. There's some sickos that get off on that kind of stuff and I suggest you contact authorities immediately if there's a chance they can catch her. If this were to be your interpretation anyway. But as I said. Nobody really knows.

She wants you to be happy. There's no way to discern if she wants your dick from just this sentence, OP.

If he did it the first time; I think you can put some walls inbetween you and him and be done with it. Like take precautions about your own properties, like insurances or alarm systems and not letting him in your house for long.

>>16851083
No. You had a boner from being in a bed with a girl it was slightly violating though

If you tried reaching down her pants or taking her pants off or something it would be I think you're fine man I get boners all the time just laying down and pushing it against her ass would of been crazy tempting

If she were upset she'd have jumped out of bed. Bet she got wet but had her reasons not to have sex, like proper education.

>>16851081
bump for interest

Read something you know you will like. For me I just love gothic horror etc. Conan the barbarian is also a great read.

>>16851081

people tend to grow out of reading at a certain point if they read too much.

the author V.C. Andrews used to go on about how once you read too much, you never want to read again, and all thats left is to write.

so maybe start writing. you wont be an illiterate becuase you will constantly find yourself reading up on certain subjects to make your work more believable and educate.

Break up with her or stop being a jealous little bitch

>>16851078
/thread

Should I at least ask her if she's done all this dirty shit with her exs? Not lnowing is killing me but I'm scared shitless about looking insecure and always being jealous and starting drama but it's messing with me so much I feel physically ill and I have nightmares

>>16851071
No, decent people have actual people in their real lives who they can go to for advice.