I know this a pretty common thing, but I feel like I am afraid of being intimate with people. I am a generally reserved person and I try to control my emotions when handling situations. I think it's because I've been hurt by people close to me and it has become a defensive reaction. My problem is that I struggle explaining my feelings to friends and when dating. It's not because I don't know how to explain it, it's that I feel uncomfortable when I do. Does this make any sense?
I noticed this about myself when I was dating this one girl for a while, she was super sweet and really nice and it freaked me out. Mostly the idea of someone reciprocating was totally bizarre to me and I feel extremely bad that I couldn't convey to her that I appreciated her. If anything I felt sick that someone was trying to get intimate with me. Like eating too much cotton candy and puking rainbows. I guess I'm just too used to hiding my vulnerability and my emotions.
We're still somewhat dating, mostly because we both go to school in different parts of the world and we have intentions to hang out with each other.
Can anyone relate to this at all? I know there is this idea that in love, we tend to gravitate towards people who treat us the way we see ourselves hence why people bitch about girls going out with douches and why going out with nice people can be off putting. Now that I think about my last two long term relationships were pretty one-sided and felt emotionally abusive.
I can kind of relate. Putting your true feelings out there is, for lack of a better way to describe it, sort of dangerous. I feel this way because my history is mostly full of people betraying that sort of trust, and I have enough trouble with social situations that I don't want people to make it harder for me. People have always called me strange, weird, creepy, etc. I've worked on not appearing as such, so now I hide my real thoughts to not be excluded.
But I can't relate all the way, because what I really want is someone who I can be myself around, and not have to think about that sort of thing. Whenever someone seems like they could be close to that, I'm afraid of them thinking I'm too abnormal after all, so I pull back and keep it secret. That way I at least have someone I can be kind of myself around, even if it's only a part.
>>16961090
Yeah I totally get what you mean, and I guess my problem is being comfortable with my emotions and feelings rather than seeing them as a nusiance.
>Had sex for the first time last 2 days.
>Can't stop thinking about sex
>Have a paper due soon
Any advice to stop thinking so much on sex? Even when I try to watch something it pops up. How long does it last?
>>16960878
Have more sex while you still can
>>16960878
fuck or fap
gotta get the poison out to clear the mind
>Placing random, meaningless stickers in public places just to make people think about it.
Is that so bad an idea? I always felt like I should try this out.
>>16960850
My hometown is littered with Antifa stickers despite the fact that it's already a liberal shithole. Apparently not actually having fascists isn't good enough, we need to be at all times aware of the fact that kids with fluorescent hair are ready to do... something if someone says anything right wing.
So basically I find it preachy and annoying and I'd rather you put stickers up your ass, because why advertise your opinions like they matter?
>>16960885
Eh, that's heavy. It wasn't exactly what I was thinking but it makes sense. People could come up with weird meanings with the stuff I'd stick around.
>>16960892
Who cares about weird meanings?
Everything involving anything can be caught up wrong, you shouldnt think about it that much, just do it.
And as long as nobody sees you nobody will know that YOU put them there in the first place.
How am I supposed to pick a new haircut? I've had the same hair for years.
>>16960795
Went from long hair (6+ yrs) to undercut today.
Feels great and looks great.
Grow a mullet
http://young-stalin.com/ has some decent hairstyles you could use.
grabbed this from the /fa/ wiki so take some of these styles with a grain of salt, but overall it's a good reference to use.
How do you get a girlfriend after you leave college?
bump for this because I'm a lonely student about to get out of college.
>>16960762
Be attractive
I don't know, the same way you do before you leave college. Women are everywhere, you just have to talk to them. Sure, it's not as convenient as it is in college, but there are still places where a lot of women willing to socialize with strangers will be, like gyms or bars. Also social fucking media.
For those of you in long distance relationships, what do you think would make your relationship better? What sucks the most about your LDR?
>what would make it better
Less distance
>what sucks the most
The distance
>>16960750
Moving closer together.
Sucky part is I cant surprise her at work with lunch or cuddle. Little things in life but that'll come later.
>>16960763
beat me to it word for word
My boyfriend is mad at me because I decided to vote for Donald Trump. We were both on the Bernie train but Bernie is a failure and Trump is my backup guy. He doesn't like that though and wants me to vote for Hillary but I hate her. He despises Trump though, like he thinks bad things about me just because I want to vote for Trump. I don't care who he votes for though, honestly. I don't think less of him because he wants to vote for that harpy.
Lately he's been choosing to sleep on the couch and not talk to me. I feel like he's being a baby. How do I get him to get over it?
>>16960639
>arguing between Trump and Hillary like either of them are less cancerous
Both of you are idiots
Well he is being a baby. All you can do is talk to him and try to make him understand that whatever political views you have shouldn't affect your fucking relationship. Don't expect too much though, some people are just unreasonable.
>>16960639
Your bf is right
Fuck Trump America is still the best
How much masturbation is too much? At what point does it become damaging? I'm 19 and i've been getting aroused by any and all women that I'm not related to over the course of my spring break. As a result, I beat off to some weird shit 3-4 times a day. Problem is I used to have the common decency to wait until I got home, but now I just lock myself in bathrooms and pretend i'm shitting while I beat off to shit on my phone.
Do i have a problem? Or am i just a really horny 19 year old guy?
>>16960605
It's all good, so long the cock isn't building too much callus.
>>16960605
It's normal dude.
>>16960605
This guy here:
>>16960800
>roblem is I used to have the common decency to wait until I got home, but now I just lock myself in bathrooms and pretend i'm shitting while I beat off to shit on my phone
Didn't read this at first. You should stop doing that. That's not normal.
I recently graduated from university with a BS in biology and during my time at university I really found the I enjoyed mathematics. However since my graduation I often miss doing math, since I took a course every semester so I got up to calc 3 + linear, and now I feel kind of bored without doing it. Is there any place that I can learn more topics in mathematics or more specifically bio mathematics/ bio engineering?
Have you taken statistics classes at all? Have you tried programming?
I majored in bio too and I went the statistics/data route with computers. There's a lot of classes online for this stuff for free like Edx.org, Khanacademy, MIT opencourseware, and Udacity.
>>16960614
I never had to take a stats course believe it or not but I had to take a few computer courses. Nothing too serious.
Should I start learning how to program past making a few gui programs? I know when I took an applied bio math class they told us half way through the semester that we're solving our equations using a matlab.
>>16960635
If you just want to to learn something so that you're not bored I would do programming but look up things people do with programming (like webdev, environmental modelling, statistical data analysis, developing games, and a lot more).
If any of them sound interesting then find the languages they use to do those things and learn that. If you learn a language with no real goal then you will just forget it over time. Might as well put some use to it.
Guy on Craigslist had a tractor for sale. We agreed on a price. I rented a trailer, $160.00. He then sold it to someone else for a higher price. He didn't ask of a down payment and I was 277 miles away. Now I'm cheated out of $160.00. He said "We got a full price offer, you didn't give a deposit so we had no obligation to you"
Seven forty 3 fifty 99 twenty two
>>16960574
That's not "Getting cheated," unless you called the guy up beforehand and said "Hey I'm on my way with the money so don't sell it okay" and he said "Yeah sure."
It's totally on you for not securing the deal for the tractor in any way before renting the trailer.
>>16960574
Guys a dick but he's right legally. No contractual obligation without remuneration of some kind.
He agreed to sell it to me. We agreed on the day I would pick it up.
I called and said I was on my. He said he sold it for more money. Actually there was a verbal agreement and email agreement of the sale.
>thinking abt sexuality
>girl asks me out
>"why the fuck not amirite"
>we go on a date
>im like "ok this is nice" and date her for a while
>turns out im straight and i just enjoyed feeling loved
>shes dependant on me now
help me jesus
It took you that long from when you met her to the point where she's dependent on you to realize you're straight?
You fun fucked up OP.
Nothing that can be done about it now, though. Just tell her you're straight or find some other excuse to break up. Yeah, it won't be nice, but the more you wait the worse it's gonna be.
I tried to tell my gf of 5 months that I loved her and she dumped me the next day. We're supposed to talk next week. How do I get her back.
Possibly important: I don't think I meant it, I was caught up in the emotions of the night. The relationship has been fantastic until this point, she used the words "you swept me off my feet" earlier that night.
>>16960549
Why exactly would you want her back?
>>16960549
lmao
>>16960557
because it was a mistake of me to say it, and the relationship is the best one either of us have ever had.
I have 3 day expired dumplings, should i eat them or not?
>>16960545
Does the label say "Sell by" or "Use by". Most foods are good for at least a week after the sell-by date if kept properly.
microwave the hell out of them and you'll be fine
wait a week. then eat it. bacteria eventually die from impatience
Hey /adv/, what's your take on teachers dating their former students? My friend, who is 25, has recently massaged one of his former high school students (who graduated 1 year ago) on Facebook. The conversation started amicable, until she expressed that she like him. My friend told me he is physically attracted to her and is planning to arrange to meet with her for a date. I don't feel comfortable with the idea of teachers dating their formal students. What do you guys think? I don't want to upset him by saying that I do not approve of such an arrangement.
>>16960491
*messaged
>>16960491
*former
>>16960491
Teacher (not that one) here.
It's not a violation of ethics the way dating her while she was a student would be. But it's thorny ground.
Even though she is no longer under his control, her image of him is colored by his position of authority. There may not be as much glamour to being a teacher as there is to being a rock star, but there is some. And to a degree he is using his image to be attractive to her - and if that is not precisely unethical, it is a little sleazy.
What do I need to do to get into a good law school? I got accepted into the university I wanted and now I have to focus these four years in polishing my resume. What clubs/associations should I join? How should I spend my free time? What impresses good law schools?
Btw, I'm doing a double major in Political Science and Journalism, if that helps with any advice
>>16960474
1. Good grades
2. Relevant clubs (politics, debating, newspaper)
3. Social work - tutoring inner city kids and the like
4. Good grades.
Lawyer here. First thing's first: why do you want to go to law school? Only go to law school if you want to be a lawyer and know what being a lawyer means. Fortunately, the best way to figure out whether law school is right for you is also the best way of preparing your resume for law school. Go work for a law office. It could be a paying legal assistant gig with a solo lawyer or a firm, or a volunteer gig at a legal aid office or public defender office or prosecutor's office.
As far as clubs go, I don't think it matters which clubs you join but you definitely need to obtain leadership positions within those clubs.
Then, study hard for the LSAT. Get the Powerscore Games book and buy EVERY SINGLE released LSAT -- most come in books of ten or so, but the most recent can be found individually (sometimes only in PDF). Study for the LSAT like a job -- it will be worth $$$$ in scholarships. For me, my LSAT study was worth about $90,000 in scholarships.
Oh, I want to add that you should take business courses and accounting courses. If you can start a business, that would be excellent.