So, I cheated on my fiancé.
It hasn't just happened once, it has happened several times (with one person). I am a truly terrible individual. I have cut contact with this person to allow me to deal with things as I should. I deserve to deal with the guilt.
I love my fiancé, I just don't have a sexual spark with them and after a nine year relationship, I did the selfish thing and started looking for gratification elsewhere. I should have left years ago.
Should you be honest with someone if you have cheated? Or is it healthier for them if you just end everything without going into detail?
If you do it immediately and resolve to never let the truth be known, it's psychologically healthier for them if you just end everything. However you should still use the general explanation--not finding everything you're looking for in this relationship--so that you don't invite an investigation from your soon to be ex.
However it's not physically healthier. However minute the odds, you may have actually given your fiance an STD. It's really unfair to not give them the opportunity to find out and treat it if possible.
>>16973118
I got cheated on by my fiance. Yes you need to tell them you cheated. Communication is everything. After he told me he cheated sure it's devastating but if she finds out later on somehow or by someone else it'd even fucking worse don't d that to her. Respect her and tell her the truth. She deserves it and it'd your responsibility and it's the only way you can even own up to your actions and own up to it a least for her..
>>16973163
I do appreciate what you're saying but I haven't slept with my fiancé in around nine months - there is almost no way they could have caught anything from me (plus I have had a recent test which came back all clear).
I have tried to end it before (this isn't an excuse for my behaviour) and they convinced me we could work things out. I feel like if I tell them outright that I've slept with another person, they're more likely to leave me and feel like they've made that decision. Funnily enough, we've always had complete transparency and honesty within the relationship and they're the most trustworthy person I've ever known (I was also insanely trustworthy before I made this stupid decision).
I suppose I want to be honest about what I've done, as it seems a bit like I'm excusing my behaviour by lying about it. Like some kind of punishment, perhaps?
Hey adv this random spot appeared on my finger... Doesn't hurt and is completely flush with the skin, any ideas?
cancer, pic related only cure, it's spreading fast from look of it
an hero already
What the heck? I have that same spot on that same finger. It showed up a few years ago. Well, I'm still alive.
Be me
Fucking hate indians and their burnt curry smell
Fucking can't stand call centres and tech support filled with indians and their fucking impossible to understand accent.
Fucking can't stand it when they blabber on about their daily life when you clearly don't give a fuck.
Fucking hate them to the point you contract autism when you think about hating them
Fuck indians
Indians
Fuckem
Help
But female indians can be fucking hot sometimes.
>OP hates this
Must be gay or something 2bh m8
>>16973092
>>16973095
Most of the females are hideous and their accents are disgusting.
The only thing I can think of being worse are Brits and American women.
Aussie women are cool as they put out more I guess.
Made a bet $100 each way that I would lose 8kg in 4 weeks.
Is it possible?
>CAPTCHA related: salad
>>16972997
I weigh 87kg and am only 5'7.
You lost 8kg you already came out on top.
definitely.
you need to loose a lot of water weight. get diuretic teas and google foods that help with it. eat as little as possible. don't drink a lot the day of the weight in. go to the sauna and general exercise is good to
So I need an outsiders look on my problem, that me and the girl I love have.
Quite a lot of details, will try to get everything in there.
So when both parties have been through a rough patch, and both parties got hurt, who's to blame the most?
Can you measure "hurt"? Like when, I fell I got hurt the most, does she bear most off the blame?
>dated for four years
>she cheated
>broke up with me, cause she couldn't bear what she did
>the love for me, made her not tell me, about the real reason we broke up
>she turned off brain for a month, not thinking about consequences
>she was with him again, two weeks later
>both times pissed-drunk and she would stop half-way
>know, that I didn't know why we broke up, did not know about the things she had done
>approx. a month after we broke up, we started seeing each other again
>looked through her iPad, that's when I found out about the hurtful things she did
>tells me she cried every day for several weeks after she cheated and broke up with me. her mother confirms
>could see in her eyes, that she regrets
>I wanted to know everything
>it turned into, me calling everyday, to ask the same things over and over again, until she couldn't bear it nomore
>i kissed a girl, a night I went out with my friends. left the party immidately, regretting it.
>told her the next day, she was sad.
>one night I went out, I met her. I was pissed immidiately. It turned into a nasty argument, something none of us had done before.
>she slapped me, I called her nasty things, which I have never done before
>all in all, that night it really got out of hand, for both of us.
>we've talked since, became good friends real fast
>we had a nice day, the day after
>I feel like shit for my part of it
>she fells like shit for her part of it
>still I fell like, I'm the most hurt, because of what she did
>If she hadn't done it, we wouldn't have been in a position like this
>we kind of made up, but it's really a question of justification for me
>wat do?
>dated for four years
>she cheated
out the window she goes. go north carolina on her ass and never look back
Break up.
That simple.
Or not, but you will regret it more so than her.
>>16972861
>dated for four years
>she cheated
stopped reading right there.
Ladies and fags, please give me every valid reason you can think of for why you won't suck dick.
there are none. sucking dick is the epitomy of awesomenes
>>16972790
Forgot to ask, please ID fag or lady, you sound like a fag.
>>16972794
femanon. but i got an oral fixation, so take my comment with a grani of salt
not necessarily an advice thread, but would like to hear from people who are straightedge (not taking recreational drugs, sometimes not even alcohol). I haven't done any, despite growing up in a relatively liberal country where soft drugs are decriminalized and have been for a long time. What I think stopped me from experimenting with drugs was the fact that, despite getting along with people at my school, I didn't really have any social life outside school hours, so there was almost no peer pressure on me, and by the time I became more social (which was very scant, anyway), I simply never felt the need to take anything, as it was not a part of my experience. I still feel that way now.
Are there any other snobs out there that don't do drugs? How do you think it happened? Is there a reason (inb4 degeneracy)? Do/ did you feel any peer pressure now/ then? Would you try things with the right people, mindset, or do you think you'll always be straight-edge?
Thanks for your time and pic not related.
i used to drink alcohol occasionally. now it's down to maybe one glass of wine and a beer in one year. i have smoked weed two times. it was ok, but not mindblowing. nothing else. i never felt any peer pressure. i just politely declined when offered anything and that was it.
when i was a teen i once had a bad experience with alcohol and then didn't touch a single drop for 7 years. my dad is a heavy smoker/drinker and i guess i'm a bit a burned child here.
yes, i would try with the right person. aka with my bf. mainly because i love sleeping with him and i would really fancy to know how it feels to have sex with him when we are both high. but i don't think i would go further than weed and alcohol.
I've never had more than two drinks at a time, and other than prescribed stuff I've never done any drugs.
Mostly it's because I am super religious, and because drugs cost money and I don't have it. Besides, my head's a fucked-up enough place without adding illegal drugs to the mix.
I was drunk only once in my life and I'm not really planning on doing that again. I don't take drugs cause honestly I'm afraid what I would do when I'm not in total control over my body.
I'm about to split up with my gf (3 years relationship). How do I deal with the grief? It will hurt me like hell because I love her loads but i've got to do it because we're hurting each other all the time unwillingly
>>16972591
>hurting each other all the time unwillingly
like how?
>>16972594
my penis was too large.
>>16972594
She wants other things in life and I do too. Stuff that may seem normal to me dont seem so to her. We love each other but we are always arguing and with such intensity that we can't even focus at our jobs or our daily lives. We are always worried. We argue badly and then cry about how much we love each other and that our life would be empty without one another. Yet we are both unhappy.
How do I tell if I should break up with my girlfriend I've been with for almost a year?
>live together
>bad times are outnumbering the good ones
>have days where we don't even speak to each other
>tell her it's because she's in a bad mood towards me so I'm going to do the same back
>she says the exact same to me
>never wants to do anything with me
>literally lives for her routine making me feel unnecessary
>stopped caring about her appearance but still complains about being chubby when she used to be a literal 10/10 fit/skinny girl
>doesn't care about sex anymore which is a very big deal for me ("cum already please", avoids it unless I really insist, etc)
>isn't romantic at all
>every time I leave the house and see a girl I fantasize about cheating but I wouldn't do it because realistically I think it's stupid/wrong
Every time we argue or try to talk we don't get anywhere., no agreements or conclusions. A lot of times I point things out that she does wrong she just stares at me like I'm crazy and gets really upset. I just don't know what to do. A lot of days it's like I don't even know what's wrong anymore but just feel bad. I know I'm doing things wrong too like being in a bad mood, but she makes me feel like that and i just don't have the energy for it.
I really love her and I know that if I left her I'd never find another girl like her, but it's almost like she's a different boring person now. I don't feel like I want to break up with her, but the way things are I'm starting to think it would be better off that way.
Even if I don't break up with her, what do I do? How can I fix this?
I can't help but am very interested in this thread.
I'm in an identical situation, only I've regularly cheated on my partner. I love my partner a lot but just not in a romantic sense. I don't want to lose the connection we have or upset them, but I don't see it going anywhere now (and I'm a terrible person who deserves nothing but heartache because of what I've done).
ok OP, you two lack basic communication skills. it sounds like you are always fighting instead of trying to find a solution to a problem. can you give me an example? what was the last thing you fought over?
>>16972528
You must be a woman
Recently. me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up. We were each other's first and only. We were very sexually compatible. She wanted to satisfy all my fetishes, no matter how "sick" I thought they were.
Feeling like I will never have a girlfriend like that again. How do I cope?
oh, don't worry. if you find a girl that loves you, she will also be eager to make you feel good in bed
>>16972524
Yeah don't worry OP, if she really loves you she'll stick things up your bum like you want.
Good luck finding her though kek
>>16972559
>she'll stick things up your bum like you want
i know you mean that in a joking way, but it's true. if you love somebody, sex means communicating and finding a balance that is comfortable and exciting for both. it also means not being stuck up, but only doing what you are comfortable with. it's not easy, but totally achievable
I've got a few hours, try to give me some background where relevant so I can give a decent answer
Okay, so I've been feeling blue since last spring. Lazyness is my second nature, but this apathy has pulled my ability to function to zero. Often I just want to sleep and cry. Is this something I can cure myself? How?
how do I remove a group of peoples from my land without getting sanctioned?
>>16972423
Not OP, but: it's called an eviction notice.
My bf is 22, i'm 27. We have an awesome relationship. But sometimes i wonder if i am holding him back, tying him down in something that's already way too serious for his age. I have talked about this with him and he states that he doesn't want anything else. I fear that he will one day resent "settling down" so early on. How do i prevent this? What are things you should do before "settling down"? How can "settling down" be AS exciting as anything else?
22 isn't THAT young for him to settle down at. Maybe if he was like 20 and under or something.
Stop overthinking it.
>>16972189
Well hes going to regret it. But its one of those things he has to do himself and kick himself for. Its his fault. As long as you arent cajoling him into it and even warned him properly he cant blame you.
As someone whos been in his shoes hes going to regret it only when you two break up. Itd be fine if you actually settled down, but say you break up in like 3 years, it means he blew those years with you instead of doing those 'exciting' things.
>>16972206
That's relieving. Everybody seems to be agreeing that you should only start to "settle down" after 25. I mean, he can still life his 20's to the fullest. The only thing would be that i'm not down with him sleeping around.
>18 years old
>Filipino
>Conservative Christians
>Live with parents while looking for a job.
>Spend night at friends'. Play DnD, get wasted, and do stupid shit.
>Go home the next day, parents ask if I had fun.
>Say yes. Mention offhandedly how we ended up staying up until around 5, and woke up at 11.
>For some reason, dad blows up about it, lectures me about how sleeping late can ruin my life.
>Ask him why he thinks it's okay to not let me finish what I'm saying and nitpick whatever deems "bad" and rant about it. I snap back at him. He then starts saying shit about how I probably drink and do drugs with my friends.
>Mom (who apparently has been upset all day about how I didn't stay home), threatens to stab me (knife and all) if I didn't stop talking back. I give my phone back to them and tell them I wish they'd just let me die when I was a kid if they weren't willing to trust me.
>Get punched pretty hard by dad (I don't bruise easy).
>Go upstairs, pack whatever shit they can't claim as theirs, and leave the house.
>Friend picks me up and takes me back to his place with his boyfriend.
>Depression and anxiety make it near-impossible to not bawl my eyes out, but I manage.
What do I do now? I feel lost and alone (my partner's 17 and has super-uptight parents, and as I said, I've been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety).
Sounds pretty fucked up to be quite honest. Your parents will not ever see you the same if you go back. Also it'll be hard to stay at your mate's place.
Do you go to school? Do you have a job?
I would actually say you should make a decision if you even want to go back home at all.
>>16971952
OP here. I'm currently in community college, originally Nursing major, but switched to Psychology because helping professor with research gives me a decent amount of money sooner. I'm also looking for jobs, but the area I live only has good entry-level jobs if you have a proper address to give.
>>16971969
And to add, I don't plan on going back home, but I forgot to bring shoes because my dad was chasing me out of the house. Just a minor detail I left out.
How can I stop hating women and wanting to hurt them?
hate breeds more hate
>>16971873
how is that suppoused to help bro?
>>16971861
You can hate them as much as you'd like (understandably) but it'd be best for everyone involved if you didn't hurt/kill them. The violence will not make you feel any better. Your hatred will still burn just as red hot.
boyfrand is very upset and disappointed with me because long story short, two years ago a male internet friend of mine who lives on the other side of the US and who had been a platonic friend for over 8 years became drunk and asked me for tit pix. told boyfriend about it, he became upset and told me he felt uncomfortable with me talking to him. friend apologized but i tore him a new one for being disrespectful to my new relationship. stopped talking. told boyfriend i was not going to talk to him anymore.
fast forward two years, friend messages me out of the blue and apologizes and yadda yadda. feel afraid to tell boyfriend for fear of overreaction and also because of selfishness and desire to communicate with old friend. boyfriend looks through my phone last night after awesome passionate costume-sex and becomes enraged. he is not talking to me anymore. what do?
Suck it up
>>16971692
That's tough. Occasionally talking to old friends (especially if there is nothing other than a little bit of messaging is okay). I'm a jealous guy, but your bf really seems to have some issues. He's gotta solve these jealousy issues himself. You handled the initial situation well, but I would have been honest with him the second time.
My gf has a guy friend that she's known since 3. I'm completely understanding that they wanna talk occasionally so long as she communicates (I have no reason not to trust her).
>>16971692
Your boyfriend sounds like a jealous, controlling prick. He got upset over nothing in the first place but the fact that he looked through your phone is completely over the line. Does he do that often?