Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5666. page

>>16990009


>Did I move too fast kissing a guy on the third date?

It doesn't matter. If you have feelings for him and you want to kiss him, kiss him. He's going on a third date with you which means he's obviously interested.

Don't sweat it, just do it.

>>16990013
Thanks. I'm worried because he hasn't texted back yet

the timing has zero bearing on anything, so don't worry. If he ends up rejecting you, it will be because he doesn't like you as a person and a woman, not some silly arcane rule about dating.

Lifestyle change? Sometimes its your lifestyle thats the issue try gym, social activities and maybe explore more hobbie options.

>>16989911

>i came to the conclusion that i am depressed
>not my therapist or psychiatrist

that was your first mistake.

>i have a happy and successful life
>but i am sad

this is an oxymoron. if you were depressed you wuldnt be able to objectively acknowledge the happy stuff happening, cuz to you it wouldnt be happy. it'd be humdrum at best.

>how do i treat my mental disorder

with a mental doctor.

read the wiki page on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, then read Feeling Good by David Burns or just go to his website and read all the blogs- for both the public and therapists.

it will take about an hour and afterwards you'll have the tools you need to toss your depression out the window within about a week's time.

>>16989891

hot.

truth be told, you might not be feeling legitimate sexual attraction. maybe yo uare more self aware, but a lot of guys get these weird confusing feelings and dont realize that htey just want to feel closer to other dudes, and they have strong love type feelings. but love does not equal romance as family has taught us, and it certainly doesnt equal sex as family has taught us.

sometimse these feelings just mean you wanna cuddle with your bro, kiss him on the cheek, or what have you.

or maybe im wrong and ur a flaming ufcking faggot. who knows.

hwo long have you known him that you dont know his orientation? this next one might be a weird one, but could i see a picture of you? i can get a better feel of how you approach this hwen i know what you look like.

if you are afraid to post it please send it to
[email protected]

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>>16989891


>Wat do?

If you attempt a sexual relationship with him and he says no your friendship will be permanently weird. That's a face.

If you attempt to have a sexual relationship and he is also interested then there is a small chance you could cultivate a relationship with him but, if you break up your friendship would also be over.


If you're asking if there's an easy way out of this there isn't. Anything you do will either be painful or a risk. Make up your own mind because we can't do it for you.

Either take the risk or don't. That's what life is.

Good luck.

>>16989897
I don't see why a picture is necessary

Have you tried smacking him, in front of your parents, hard?

>>16989839
He's too fat for that to work with out a physical implement, and I don't want to hurt him. I just want him to stop being self absorbed and disgusting

>>16989850
Do you think he behaves like a child because he has been hurt to much. Probably not.
Pull his shirt over his head and unload onto his skull. Don't worry, he'll be fine later that day.
If he wouldn't lesson, and wouldn't talk - the line has to be draw.
Then you can ask him what's going on inside his head

>>16989820

>do people take an interest in you based on your interests

you can tell by whether or not they actually talk to you about them. the concept of 'interesting' is a bit abstract. having in an interest in something interesting does not make oyu interesting after all.

[post a pic if you want to know if ur hot.

>>16989833
I don't have real interests in things as in a I do or study them outside of work/school, just don't find much stuff interesting, probably depressed.

But I can carry a conversation and be funny. People tell me I'm funny all the time, but half the time i think they mean in a weird/crazy/clown way. I'm not "lol randum" but I am a little out there with my thoughts/process.

As for attractiveness, I grew up thinking I was attractive, even while not receiving basically any female attention (thought it was due to my shyness/standoffish nature) except for a handful of fat girls (I've always been pretty skinny). Now I figure in at about a 5-6, but like I said before, might be depression lowering my self-esteem.

>>16989863

you dont have depression. if you are saying 'probably depressed' it implies you have no idea what happy or sad is. saying things like 'i might be depressed' or 'i think i have depression' is just pushing yourself into a hole you dont want to be in. you're a normal guy. if you feel your life lacks certain happinesses, then go pursue them.

that being said, interests =/= interesting, but the two are tied together in more subtle ways. what really makes someone interesting is some sort of charisma, the way they bring people in and make people interested.

its impossible to really measure so the question becomes 'are you itneresting enough?" do you long for more people to take an interest in you OP? if so why?

>attractiveness

post a pic and find out, throwing out arbitrary numbers that you rationalize to yourself and from people you know or even /soc/ doesnt do you any justice.

even on /soc/ people rate when they want to be rated. go to a thread filled with 5s and 6s and everyones saying you are an 8. 8 is the most commonly rated number on /soc/

>>16989718
I'm on year 3, so far I'm loving the results. The heroin is awesome, I'm probably gonna trade my smartphone for a few squares so bye-bye 4chin

but anon I enjoy my job and come home and bang my qt every night.

I'm not rich but I have more fun getting blackout drunk once in awhile, not all the time.

>>16989739
love it. go teach a fucking buddhist a thing or two or something bro

Why don't you just do it you massive retard
It will take you like 20 mins tops and that'll be the end of it.

>>16989618
I'm not op but why? Don't be her pet. You got evicted, it's done.

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>>16989582
> Have no idea what country or state OP lives in
> Expects legal advice
Sit down with a fucking lawyer. Some even offer the initial consultation for free.

Go on Judge Judy

>>16989573
So you mean I shouldn't pay to fix his pants or replace them?

>>16989579
Are you a chick?

>>16989555
SAme thing happened to me

>>16989555
It's pretty obvious he did some shit behind your back and you should press him on it. Assuming that you're femanon btw. Try talking to some friends about it.
Just don't assume all the way. He obviously did something. I'm really sorry about what happened tho

>>16989715
Yeah, I just don't get it. Especially if you really love them and they just leave you there with no answers. I really wonder if people who have different mindsets to mine have an answer to this...

bump..

Have you ever tried CBT or DBT? What about SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, TCAs, and other assorted antidepressants? If you've tried all that, what about ECT, rTMS, and vagus nerve stimulation?

I've been going down the list of treatment options for years now and am currently getting my brain shocked. 20th treatment is on Monday, wheee!

>>16989557
Im not on any depressants. I've heard a lot of things about them making things worse.

I think the state I am at the moment is fine.

Brain shocking? thats a thing?

>>16989323
It doesn't fucking matter. Stop making a big deal out of it. It will happen when it happens.

I didn't have sex till I was 22. Guess what, nothing changed, and no one cares.

>>16989421
I'm 22 now, still a virgin. I've been dating a girl for a little while and were probably going to have sex soon. Have a question, did you tell her before hand?

>>16989176
OP, get off your computer and talk to your bf.
only you two can save this relationship

Sex does usually decline after some time, that is normal and why there are shit tons of books and online blogs about spicing things up.

My suggestion though is you both sit down and have a talk about the sex life, and you tell him honestly that it's really starting to effect you. Neither of you are mind readers, so you need communication going on.

Now, you don't need to fix this over night. Expecting a change in a day or even a few days puts a lot of pressure on your partner and might make him too nervous to try for fear of failure.

What me and my fiance did was both spend a good week or more figuring out what it was we both enjoyed in sex, what we may like or were willing to try, and what we didn't like AND wouldn't do-key issue there being a huge difference between dislike, and something you absolutely won't do.

You both are going to have to compromise a little and both will probably end up trying something you don't really like in order to please the other, so they in turn can do something they don't really like in order to please you, and hopefully you two will figure out more of what you BOTH like.

Sex is very physical and wanted at the beginning of a relationship because you both are so new and into each other, but it gets boring after a while. So now is the perfect time to start talking to each other, start ENCOURAGING each other, and figuring out other things you enjoy besides just plain ol vanilla.

Maybe it isn't even the rape aspect that your boyfriend enjoys, but maybe a little bit of bitchiness from your side, or simply making him work to get something he can't have. We all like to try to get what we can't have ;)

>>16989192
I did talk with him about it! It just seems to make him upset. Of course the two of us need to work it out together, but I was wondering if /adv/ had any insight into how to confront this issue.

>>16989195
Thanks, that's very good advice. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this!
I particularly like your suggestion about how to approach the discussion.
I've actually brought this up with him before and it helped for a short time but I guess we need to think more about how to compromise. He is really into vanilla stuff but maybe I can try to delve into why he likes the rape aspect and find a way to work that into our sex life.

hour later no reply bump.

two hours later, no replies, the situation is looking grim, i'll bump the thread and see if i can get a catch.

>>16989094

Still here?

get fat. Your wee disappears behind the fupa

>>16989038
Is there a quicker method?

>>16989045

I'm not even sure what to suggest man. How temporarily? Why?

I have no clue how this would be beneficial to anyone

dude he's scamming YOU. It's the old nigerian prince scam, just through paypal.

>>16989014
>can paypal take money from my bank account
Yuppers

But ive already made money. He sent me a few hundreds to my paypal from some paypal thats clearly not his, I've withdrew all of it to bank, and sent half to him. So ive got half money just for accepting to get it. Question is, can paypal take it from my bank without my permission if I have my debit card attached to my pp account