It's complicated. Please bear with me, describing my situation makes it sound so unreal, like the plot of a Tumblr romance novel or shitty fetish porn, but this is part of my life. So, here it is.
> I'm FtM, pre-hormone and pre-surgery, androgynous
> Bisexual, but I've never seen myself as being romantically interested in a woman
> Except one
> My best friend since high school (We're both 21 now) is a gorgeous chick, 10/10
> Turns heads everywhere she goes, gets hit on in public, gets phone numbers from guys, looks perfect even after rolling out of bed. She's got a gorgeous face and her body is in-fucking-credible
> Lost my virginity to her at 16, became sort of FWB after that
> She was in a serious relationship with a guy for 2 years, then he broke up with her
> She's been in love with her neighbor for 5 years, but he's a stoner and doesn't want to commit to her, they started a FWB relationship about a year ago
> I've always been really insecure about our relationship, since she can have pretty much any guy or girl she wants and I'm just... me
> Lately, we've been acting like a couple instead of just FWB. She's been dropping hints that she wants to be my gf
> But when I finally ask her, she says she "doesn't know"
> It's fine with me, until she starts explaining why
> Says her life is too complicated right now, which I understand, because I know it is, family, financial issues, etc. But explains it in a way that sounds like she considers me to be just like any other guy she's turning down
cont.
> By the time she's done talking, I feel really pissed off, feels like she's been leading me on
> Using me for affection since she isn't getting any from her ex of two years and her neighbor
> I stay the night at her place that night after an awkward and tense brithday celebration for a mutual friend
> She tells me, driving home from said friend's house, that she feels like she was being selfish and wants to give a relationship a shot if I still want to
> Feels like a pity "yes"
> I say no, not if she doesn't truly want to
> She agrees, says she wants to take it slow
> I tell her, as long as the answer is no, I don't want us to act like a couple anymore
> Car ride home is silent
> Get to her house, get in bed together
> I don't want the night to end like this
> Before I can say anything, she gets out of bed and is gone for around 2 hours
> She comes in and out of the room a few times, acting fine
> When she gets back, I talk to her
> "It seems like this isn't as big a deal to you as it is to me, but I need to tell you that I didn't say I don't want to be with you to hurt you"
> She starts telling me that it does mean a lot to her, just that she "puts up a wall" around herself to defend against her own feelings
> Tells me that I mean more to her than anyone else in the world, that she puts me on the same level as her family
> Tells me she sees a future with me, but her life is too hectic for her to want to commit to a relationship
> Long story short, she said she loves me, but she also wants to be with her ex, and that her neighbor is starting to talk to her again (they had a bit of a fight, so they stopped seeing each other for a while)
> She said that, when I told her I didn't want to act like a boyfriend anymore, it felt like I was breaking up with her
> Things were back to normal, and felt even closer to her than before
cont.
But, /adv/...
> She flirts with other guys, gives her phone number out to strangers
> Sends nudes, doesn't know that I know
> She and her ex talk like they're still together, she tells him she loves him and vice versa
She tells me all the time how attractive I am. She talks about having kids with me. She tells me how different I am from everyone else. I don't know if I should believe her.
My friends are yes-men, telling me what they think I want to hear. I need unbiased opinions, based on what I've said here. I talk a big talk around my friends, but honestly, I'm insecure as fuck and I need to know if I should keep investing my emotions into this girl.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
Your whole relationship with her is so, so, so, so, so fucking bad in every way possible. You're so bad for eachother, I don't even know how to explain it in words. It'd be easier in a fucking diagram. I mean, granted you're both so mentally confused in the head I could see how you might confuse that similarity as some sort of bond, but holy shit.
Make yourself a better life.
The thread from the other day got me thinking.
I too fantasise about fictional dudes and not people, I've never been in a relationship, never had a sexual thought that wasn't for 2D. I'm not asexual because I masturbate lots but no real guy has ever gotten me to feel anything for him. I love yaoi and some josei smut, couldn't live without yaoi in fact, I don't like real porn save a selected couple of exceptions.
I'm not lonely though. My parents keep pressuring me to find a boyfriend but it just doesn't happen, nobody strikes interest in me except for 2D, I find no real guy good enough for me but I keep finding new 2D husbandos. Obviously I'm a virgin and will likely stay a virgin, sex with someone who doesn't love me and whom I feel nothing for is not for me.
For me in order to love someone... I have no particular physical image in mind but they would have to treat me good. Be kind to me, be patient with me, leave me space, help me when I need help, not try to lord over me but wait for my opinion and respect it. Respect my boundaries, accept that I masturbate to 2D dudes and that I enjoy 2D guys doin' the nasty. I'm sure there's more but right now that's what I can list off the top of my head. I don't think such a guy exists, mainly because straight guys think they're cucks if you're not thinking exclusively about them 24/7 and nobody wants to be a cuck.
With this realization, how do I get my parents to accept this? I'm a working adult so I know they have no real power over me but I love them and I don't want to be a dick to them, I want to let them down gently.
Gaia bitches OUT
>>17114439
Bumping for advice.
>I don't think such a guy exists, mainly because straight guys think they're cucks if you're not thinking exclusively about them 24/7 and nobody wants to be a cuck.
Is this true? Do you guys really expect a girl to only think about you and not have her own personal private fetishes and fantasies? Guys expect their gfs to be fine 100% fine with their porn and porn actresses because "it's just maturbation" but you don't want girls to have our own porn and masturbation fuel?
How can men be such hypocrites? I'm seriously disgusted.
So my girlfriend of 16 months has her 18th birhtday coming up soon, but i have this trip planned with all my classmates and friends that just happens to fall on the same day as her birthday. its a 2 day one night trip as our graduation trip. so im really conflicted because its my last year with my classmates and it maybe a moment that i need and cant go back to. but also its my girlfriends 18th birthday and she was there when it was mine with a big suprise and all these things planned. I know that i should give back and treat her just like i want to be treated, with respect and loyaty, but i just dont want to regret spending these last moments with my classmates and friends before we graduate. How should i go around handeling this situation?
>>17114417
Chances are that your relationship with your gf will end sooner or later; she is young and so are you. Your friends, on the other hand, may be with you forever.
>>17114417
Surprise her by taking her on the trip dumbass
>>17114428
but this was my first real relationship and i dont really feel comfortable leaving her, i can sense loyalty with her and i know she will let me go to the trip but its more of an im not going to leave her alone on her bday when she was there for mine i just cant stand imagining it.
GF won't let me rename the cat Xerxes. What do?
>>17114403
bitches and whores
>>17114403
Call it Xerxes anyway. What's she gonna do?
>>17114758
This. You gf sounds like she needs to get put in her place.
>slap a hoe
How do I make my GF enjoy anal?
We've only done anal twice and she hates it but does it because she knows I like it. What can I do to make her love it and cum from it? We've only done it in the shower but I just got an enema kit and lube for tomorrow. The position we tried in the shower was just her standing and leaning over pretty much.
How do I make her enjoy it? How do gay guys enjoy it and how are there girls who crave it? I played with her clit while doing anal and that's the only thing she liked about it.
>>17114385
Ask her to fuck you with strap on and then you will see why she hates it.
>>17114391
Why the fuck do gay guys like it?
Pretty sure I hear there are plenty of girls who love it as well. Am I just doing it wrong? She loves the sex and everything about it except anal.
>>17114420
Guys have a prostate, girls don't...i think that's the primary reason
I'm not gonna post the whole fucking story unless people want it. Basically, I was dating a girl for about 3 months. We were really close, she told me a lot of intimate things, but she broke up with me after I told her I loved her. She told me we had "opposite attraction" whatever that means. So I tried talking to her every couple of weeks, but she eventually blocked me on social media and I'm pretty sure my phone number too.
Anyway, I don't know what's up with her. I know if you read this, it sounds like she doesn't want anything to do with me, I'm not denying that. I'm just explaining what happened as non-biased as I can try.
Every Tuesday, we walk literally right by each other to the parking lot, shes always staring at the ground, she may be trying to ignore me, but she has anxiety so I think she must just be doing that inherently. I still have feelings, would it be ok if next time I saw I literally just said "hi," and walk away?
I'd love advice, if you guys want more info just ask. Its been like 2 months and I cant get over this girl.
>>17114344
Get a grip you fucking dumbass. She is no longer interested in you. To be completely honest she probably realized how much you suck as a person, after you said I love you 3 months into a relationship.
Never tell a girl you love her unless she says it first.
Goddamn you are a socially retarded fool. I cant comprehend how you can be so blind. Oh wait I can, if I pretend I have autism and the social intelligence of a westboro baptist church member.
Leave her alone, ignore her, forget she even exists.
Grow up dummy. You don't love her. You just are afraid of being alone.
>>17114402
ok so this thread is off to a good start. I asked a question, got half an answer. I'm not saying what I said was smart, but like I said I didn't post the whole story, so you don't know what happened between us. But thanks anyway lmao
>>17114402
What this anon said
Get over it you delusional and obsessive OP
There's this girl in a class who asked me for help with some notes before a test day because we happened to be in the same student study room.
Turns out she sits right by me and last week I was able to talk to her once or twice. We just talked about how we did on tests and other small talk and it was really a lot better than I usually do talking with people.
I missed last class session so today's session she said you weren't here last time were you, and I was like yeah, so she said do you need the notes and I said yeah and started copying them. She said sorry her handwriting wasn't that good and I was like nah mines worse.
Anyway, I handed them back and said thank you but class started so we really couldn't talk anymore. The entire last 5 minute of class Im wondering if I should talk to her or not. Passing thoughts in my head is what will other people in the class think of me talking to her like Im not good enough or I'll be weird or creepy. Anyway, I didn't say anything and she got up and left, so I just left it at that. I figure if she wanted to talk maybe she would say something, and if we're not that close maybe it'd be weird to hold her up by talking to her.
Is it weird to try to talk a little with someone right after a class ends and they have other stuff they might need to do?
I know it seems like this should be obvious but I've had severe anxiety about it my whole life. Just looking for some answers.
have you seen other human beings talking to people after class?
you are safe to proceed as long as you can speak to her in a natural seeming way. if you are all sweaty palms and stuttering and make it obvious you have no clue what you are doing...
you've got a slim chance she'll think its cute and a huge chance she'll be turned off by the awkwardness and want you to never do that again
why not just say something to her when whoever sits down 2nd makes it to class? should be a little less difficult
>>17114389
There's these two in the front of me that actually talk a lot and really about in depth stuff and still they don't talk after class is done so I guess I'll just take examples from them?
So my beard is kinda bad looking, it's scruffy and thick I bought a shaving and trimming kit recently but I don't know how I can shave it to compliment my feature. Few things
>Have a big head and face
>I hide my shitty jawline with a beard
>I also hide a double chin I'm embarrassed at
What are some good styles anyone can reccomend?
>>17114289
Clean shaven.
Unless you lack a chin.
>>17114289
Hey OP. Most people don't have great jawlines, so don't think you need to hide it.
If you've a double-chin, I'd suggest you eat less or increase your exercise, rather than hide one feature of an unhealthy lifestyle.
That being said, beards can give many a man a very dignified look, especially when paired with glasses. So if you find your beard to be unruly, I suggest you trim it short, and utilize combs and beard oils/balms. They are extreeemely hipster items but they work very well.
>>17114295
I have a double chin I dont like it so I want to just get a beard to hide it until I can get rid of double chin
My life feels pretty pointless.
I don't have anything great to get me out of bed in the mornings, but my life isn't bad enough for suicide.
Mainly I have to make my family and society happy, but never really have any motivation to do so.
My question is, what gets you out of bed in the mornings?
>>17114287
In the same boat as you, lurking for insightful replies.
>>17114287
>I don't have anything great t
make something great
stop being a faggot and build something to fulfill yourself
I'm 19 still haven't finished high school cause i'm a fuck up feel like i'm wasting my time with this shit. I'm doing this accelerated learning type thing just to get a diploma. I want a diploma so i can get a job and i want a job so i can get money and i want money so i can literaly buy a motorcycle and continue with my video game addiction. What gets me out of bed? Goals i guess
How do I get arch linux? There are very few tutorials and I don't understand anything at all. Help?
>>17114207
>>17114207
If you don't understand the tutorials, arch isn't for you. Hell arch isn't for anyone.
>>17114207
Why would you want to do that?
I got a friend who is a really awesome girl, but she's pretty naive.
>22
>active church member (even sings and plays piano in the youth band)
>going to be a midwife, currently working with disabled kids
>virgin, believes in waiting till marriage
>very cute
>extremely lovely character
but she has NO clue when it comes to guys and i'm worried she'll fall for one that doesn't deserve her. Her last interest was a guy thaz friendzoned her hard for reasons i have no idea about. Now she fell for a guy from her church that is currently going trough divorce and is over 30...
She just needs a proper bf, her age and not damaged goods!
Should i tell her anything or keep my nose out of her business?
Sounds like she just wants to fix broken people
>being into damaged goods
>working with disabled kids
If that's her thing I guess that's her thing
>>17114190
Ok then.
I just don't want her to get fucked over because she's clueless about guys because "waiting till marriage". She also never had a bf and believes in stuff like "not living together in sin".
>>17114182
I've actually dated some girls who are like that in their mid 20's, and I can always see the "aura" of naivety.
And one of my girlfirends closest friends is like that too and she's kind of a little worried for her because she's obviously starting to fall for a guy (although she hasn't realized it yet) and he's kind of a mess (recovering, divorced addict). For now we're just kind of happy for her happy for her--but watching closely.
For your friend, part of this is her being naive and that's her business, but if you're a good friend, you still probably should watch out for her if you can (silently so as not to intrude, but there if/when she needs it). She's got to stumble and fall every now and then to learn from her own mistakes, but you also don't have to let her blindly fall off a cliff and break her neck.
I'm 29 and have never had any sort of health tests done to me except when I was 26 and my nutritionist said I had high cholesterol. Do you think at this age, I should consider getting tested for cancer or something that might fuck me up?
Yes.
It's not a question of age with some shit. They might not kill people, but sometimes people wish they did.
>>17114225
So what do you think I should get tested for?
>in b4 autism
>>17114256
Tell your doctor you wanna just check everything up.
I mean, you should know the answer to what to get tested for... After all you, it's your body! Do you ache anywhere? Have felt anything strange reoccuring? <- ask yourself this kind of questions.
I have 26$ to my name, no income atm, and am out of food. How do I not starve until I get food stamps and unemployment
rice
>>17114156
butter and potatoes technically give you all the nutrients you need to survive
>>17114156
Instant oatmeal isn't bad if you have the means to boil water, its generally like 2.50 for a 10 pack, I eat 2 packs in a serving; works out to .25 cents a packet. Also ramen noodles.
Am I a sociopath /adv/? My online friend was crying to me just now because her doctor called her fat and I just don't give a shit and I think I made her mad
Kanato unrelated but husbando-tier
>>17114150
Congratulations you are retard
No, if she's fat and was told so it's more important that she acknowledge it and work on getting healthier
>>17114150
Probably not
1 you recognize it, but mainly
2 she's an online friend, you don't have that much emotional connection to her
My gf of 4 years has been asking me about marriage for the past year and i've told her i'm waiting for the right moment and for us to be settled in our careers but in reality i have 0 intentions of marrying her but i know that is a dealbreaker for her so i make her believe i'm gonna marry her. Is there anything wrong with this or should i let her go and try to find someone who shares her interests in marriage. We are both 29.
Let her go. You're old enough and you've been together long enough where if you know there isn't a future then it's wrong to keep the status quo
Dude...
This is the SHITTIEST thing to do. You are waisting her best years to find a good husband... She'll be 30 and "used goods" when you finally dump her. No decent guy will want her and she's doomed to settle for some sub-par idiot just to be able to have a baby like she always was UPFRONT about wanting. How selfish can one even be? And besides, why don't you want to marry her? Do you think you can do better now that you are nearing 30?
>>17114104
Yes, You're lying to your GF about your future intentions. You should break it off so that she can find someone that wants the same things as her rather than lying to her to keep her in a relationship that she obviously won't want. Let her find happiness with someone that won't lie about their intentions.