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If a friend did something wrong, but they didn't really know it was wrong, can you be mad at them?
Like say, they didn't expect you to be offended, or they didn't expect a certain action to have certain consequences, can you still justify your anger? One of my oldest friends has been really pissing me off lately, but I honestly don't think he's doing anything to piss me off, but since it's either in my face or I know about it, it'll annoy me anyway. I risk looking like a bitchy asshole if I keep on bringing up certain things, but I feel I need to because otherwise I'm just gonna get paranoid or angry and become self destructive.
So basically, if someone didn't entirely know they were wrong, and presumably didn't actually intend to hurt anyone, can I be mad at them? Can I be mad at their lack of common sense? Should I just try and let go?
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What happened anon- stop being so secretive about the sotuation on an anonymous message board. How the hell could anyone respond to something so vague.
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>>17139870
couple of things here
>what are they doing?
context is key. tell us the context. one size doesn't fit all. it may be forgivable. they may just be willfully ignorant.
another thing
>its not an A or B situation
by which i mean there arent just two options. its not just
>blow up and be an asshole
or
>ignore it cuz he doesnt know
if he doesn't know, educate him. if he still does it, hes being an asshole.
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>>17139870
It's not wrong if you don't tell them it's wrong, bring up that you don't feel comfortable with their behaviour, if they continue it after the fact, it's wrong.
Anonymous
I was pretty drunk yesterday night and i said something how do i fix them? 2016-05-13 17:02:35 Post No.17139861
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I was pretty drunk yesterday night and i said something how do i fix them? 2016-05-13 17:02:35 Post No.17139861
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I was pretty drunk yesterday night and i said something how do i fix them?
Anonymous
2016-05-13 17:02:35
Post No. 17139861
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basicly i told this guy i like that i really wanted to talk to him i probably sounded clingy and then i said that i really liked him and wanted to make us work (were at the first or second phase i think) anyway is there something you can say to fix the stupid things i said?
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basically promise you that its not as fucked up as you think. if the guy likes you at all and/or finds you attractive at all he isn't bothered by this. if there was no hope there is still no hope. so you didn't damage anything. you'll get plenty of leeway for being a grill and drunk. you didn't even say anything dumb you got drunk and as drunks often do told the truth. why are you turning this into a big problem in your head? if you don't act all strange and send him crazy mixed signals after this "incident" then if he wants to put his dick in you.. you are now closer to that reality than you were.
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What did he say in response? What's happened since then?
Important things to know before trying to guess how bad it was.
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>>17139861
>I told him the truth in a straightforward and pleasant way
>That was so stupid of me, how do I fix it
i don't think i'll ever understand girls
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>bf in yellow, i'm in blue
some background: my bf works at a night club in a sketchy district. last night there was a shooting and 1 man was killed, and one woman was rushed to the hospital. he wasn't working that night, but stuff like this is common.
lately his shifts got cut because one of the clubs he works at closed down indefinitely, so he's only working about 4 days a week which isn't enough money for him. he hates his job and complains about it daily.
also, there was a period where his depression was so bad, he neglected all his debt and eventually defaulted on his student loans, got a lawsuit from his credit card, and eventually the gov withheld his tax return.
i was just trying to encourage him to start looking for another job, but he reacted like this and i don't know if i just pushed him too far or if he's the one being irrational.
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>>17139860
He's stressed and took it out on you because you're available.
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>>17139860
You did nothing wrong. He sounds like a real pain in the ass. He's a very poor communicator. That being said, he's obviously stressed out and has a lot of complex problems to dig out of. None of the stuff you two talked about in that exchange are things you can help him with, unless you magically had a few thousand dollars to give him. And even then, I'd call you nuts to do that. I hope you don't plan on marrying this guy until his financial shit is completely solved. You don't want those horrible marks on your credit or affecting your ability to succeed.
Give him some space and only bring it up again if he asks for advice. If he's just venting, do what you'd do for a girl friend and let him vent. Do the standard "I'm sorry, I know it's hard" sort of shit. He seems like the kind of person who likes to bitch and moan but doesn't want to hear real solutions. So don't give him any.
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>>17139867
should i have not brought that up at all? i don't know how to handle this and it sucks watching him suffer and complain. i just want to help him out
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As anyone who has ever taken LSD/psychedelics would agree, it seems like the world around us moves in circles and cycles endlessly in a never-ending spiral.
All the psychedelic experiences, reflection on your life, reflection on other's lives, recognizing patterns, artists mentioning and creating with these spirals as basis, Fibonnacci's sequence, apparitions in nature, cognitive thinking, the universe and drawing similarities in all this, the nature of music and soundlengths. It is all eerie, really. Anyway, the secret to life might be behind there.
Lately I've felt trapped in these spirals, ever since my last LSD trip which was extremely heavy and a little unpleasant at times. All this shit became too clear to me. How do I break myself free from these spiral-shaped shackles and break the mold? I want to escape the laws of life.
Any advice on this anyone?
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>>17139753
>can't escape the spirals directing our lives
Sounds like someone needs to read Uzumaki.
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>>17139770
Why? What will it teach? I'm not big on manga/anime. Never heard of this to be honest.
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>>17139830
It really just shows examples of spirals getting out of control - projecting forward too hard and kind of crushing into regular existence.
If it teaches anything, it's that there's nothing you can do about it.
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I'm a married man in his thirties with, what I assume, healthy levels of testosterone as I want to engange in sexual intercourse with my wife many times a week. She feels wild from time to time but I can assure a more consistent sex drive than her. I just want more sex than her.
---
I don't usually have dreams that I'd remember soon after waking up, but a couple of nights ago I did. I remember very well that I had a very visually rememberable dream of fucking a pretty boy between his thighs with my dick. It was very homosexual.
As a manly man with no barriers to engage in normal heterosexual intercourse, why am I having very vivid full homo dreams? This is unconfortable to say the least.
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Prob some repressed urges anon. My gf has a low lobeto too, pretty normal for most women compared to men. My adv would be to get a pocket pussy to take ur frustration out on- if she reacts bad if she finds it just say u got it as a tool to cobtrol yourself and stay loyal because you love her or whatever and dont want to cheat or pressure her into more sex (which is a natural pussy deturant) visit the jp board and look for the onahole thread.
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Its just a dream, honestly.
I had a dream where I thought I was a grasshopper, for some reason.
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>>17139737
Gay for grasshoppers
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today marks 2 weeks since my interview with a company i want to work at. i've sent a follow up email like they asked, and haven't heard from them since.
should i email them again to ask where i am in the process?
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No, somtines it can take upto 3 months. Just keep applying elsewhere if you're anxious and in need of a job.
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the interview went really well though and they made themselves out like they really wanted to hire me.
so i should just forget about them? i've also been applying elsewhere, i just want to know where i stand in the process...
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>>17139716
Give them at least another week.
And then don't ask about the application. Find a more subtle way to remind them of your existence.
For example, find a newspaper clipping or online item relevant to something you and they talked about in your interview and send it - "I saw this and remembered that you spoke of your interest in the subject when we met two weeks ago."
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I'm 20, male. 3 out of 4 of my girlfriends have cheated on me. It made me so depressed I chemically castrated myself, getting weekly shots of depo-provera. Two weeks ago I had to stop because the price went up from $400 to $2200.
I've been friends with a girl online for over a year. Recently she confessed her feelings for me and I told her I felt the same, we were meeting in July. She promised me she was a virgin who's never done anything sexually.
Last night, I woke up nearly in tears because I saw her in my dreams giving a blowjob to another man. This morning I confronted her and she admitted to blowing two different men in the last year.
What can I do? I am so upset I just want to die. I can't get rid of my desire for companionship, and every woman I let in my life repeatedly lies to me and betrays me.
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You're probably not looking for the right women. Also, why do you think they cheated on you?
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Stop hanging with a bunch of liberals.
Be moderate.
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>>17139638
21 here, never had gf, but I think the reason they are cheating on you because they are horny at that age and don't want something serious, also that age 18-25 are vulnerable
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I have a date tomorrow with a girl that i've been flirting for 2 years.
Well this girl has a boyfriend and they have been together for 4 years.
2 weeks ago she kissed me and she told me that this never happend to me and she really likes me and all.
Soo tomorrow we are going to be at her place alone to talk about this.
And i dont know if i should go, she is confused bcause she ''loves''.
And i dont want her to make a mistake if the things get a little bit sexual when we are at her place.
I know that its not my fault if we have sex or something like that.
His boyfriend is really in love with her, he's a good guy i dont really know him but people told me that he's a really good person.
I just don't wanna hurt anybody :(
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If shes cheating on her bf with you. What makes you think she wouldn't do the exact same with you and the next guy? If she's dating you and in a relationship, who's to say she wont date someone else while in a relationship with you?
Tell her to make a choice, you don't want to be her plan B boyfriend, (unless you are into cuck).
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>>17139635
>I know that its not my fault if we have sex or something like that.
Sure it is, it's your choice.
Don't go to her place. Tell her that if she wants a chance with you, she needs to be single. You don't want to talk about this stuff behind her boyfriend's back.
But you really can't trust her, as the other poster said. If she ends up being your girlfriend, it won't be long before she gets "confused" about another guy and invites him over to "talk about it."
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>not your fault if you have sex
Well, it will definitely be partially your fault. Don't be a dick, don't date her until she is single.
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I asked yahoo answers fags this but PC fuckers dont have any humor, now its /adv/ turns.
Im about to inherit 25-30 000 $ what do you think I should do with it?
19 white male sweden.
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>>17139525
I don't even understand the first bit.
But maybe invest it in something unless you have something more urgent. Like the need of a car or something.
Don't just piss it all away.
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Just piss it all away.
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Get out of Sweden and live somewhere else
Invest the rest of the money
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I'm 19 and I'm infatuated by a 15 year old. This is a one off situation.
She lives in the next state over, the age of consent is 16 in both our states. There's about 6 or 7 months until her 16th birthday.
I feel kinda weird about this, I don't have any intentions on following my interest until I think she's mature enough (and at least 16).
Is this wrong? Is it silly to be interested in someone who hasn't necessarily matured? I'm just really not sure what to do.
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>>17139474
It isn't wrong, but it is dangerously illegal. Make sure she is down as fuck, not some nice girl who'll cry to daddy when you don't want to be her bf or a cold bitch who will gladly ruin your life forever because you made her mad once. It's a tightrope you'll be walking, and honestly the more fucked up this girl's past is (in terms of partying, sex, and older boys) the safer you'll be.
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>>17139474
>Is this wrong?
No
i'm also 19, have been texting with a 13yo, tomorrow we're supposed to meet for the first time, she lives 2 hours away
also she has BPD so i'll probably die tomorrow
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>>17139485
>>17139480
Although I know anything sexual is entirely illegal at this point, that's not something I'm interested in anyway at this point, I can tell she's 'immature'. However, is it illegal to just /be/ in a 'relationship' with someone underage?
I am planning to flatline, and I need some advices about it. First of all, I would like to point out that this decision is definitive, and I'm not here to ask for emotional support or that sort of thing. Zip, nada.
Anyway, I would like to leave behind a body in a decent state, so "radical" methods like guns, dropping from a high place, and so on were immediately out of the question.
So, after some research I found out that cyanide is a relatively fast way to put an end to it, and as a plus leaves behind a body in perfect state (although it regrettably can't be harvested for organs).
After a couple of days of research I found out that a lot of seeds from many common fruits contain amygdaline (which degrades into cyanide when digested), like apricots, apples, pears, plums, etc.
Since pure potassium cyanide didn't seem like a common item in the family-run grocery stores near me, I started to stockpile on a decent quantity of apricot kernels and apple seeds.
Here's the deal. I don't know the exact quantity of cyanide present in each seed, nor I know the best method of administration, and since non-lethal cyanide poisoning can have some unpleasant consequences, I would like to be generous with my dose.
So here I am asking you, do you happen to know what is the cyanide content in an apple/apricot seed?
Also, what do you think is the best method of delivery? I was thinking of grinding up the seeds and chugging them down with something, but I don't know if doing so could mess with the cyanide content.
As an alternative, if you know of some easy way to get some cyanide, well, that would be even better.
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Who the fuck on /adv/ is gonna know about apple seed cyanide content? If you want attention this badly just start cutting yourself like a normal angst teen.
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>>17139401
This. Google it.
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>>17139396
Lol, your stomach will rupture before you eat enough seeds.
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>33
>Dating girl 11 years younger for a few months
>She has a 5-6 years of relationship experience from two major relationships
>If we argue I can't walk away or she will flip out
>talks me about how sensitive she is as a person
>Never raise my voice when we argue, tells me I'm scary or tells me to calm down once I explain myself. If I have something I am unhappy with tells me to drop it or she doesn't want to hear it or we will talk about it 'later after she's thought about it'
>says all this is because of past relationship
Although it's pretty frustrating at times, I can deal with all this but here's what bothers me
>Been cheated on in the past
>One time in 4 year teenage relationship, another time when I was engaged to girl for 3 years, late in my 20s by another girl dated for a year
>All were drunk
>Girl says she's going out with her coworkers for some anniversary for the paper she works for
>Talks about dinner and drinks followed by bar hopping
>Ask her to just not get black out drunk 'because of my past experience'
>"Don't tell me what to do"
I don't even care about her going out and having drinks with her friends/coworkers and have encouraged her to go out more, don't even care so much about her getting drunk. Is there something wrong with asking the person you're dating to put a reasonable limit to their drunkenness?
Is there any sort of logic I am missing from being understanding towards her past and how it causes problem and her just kind of disregarding my past?
>Bump for perspective
Thanks friends
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>>17139355
You're, what we in the business call, a beta cuck provider.
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>>17139355
>You're, what we in the business call, a beta cuck provider.
Pretty wrong with that one; there's a big difference between putting up with shit cause you can't get any better and having patience because you're fucking someone 11 years younger than you.
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Am I meant to respond to a girls message after I "seened" it for 4 hours?
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Why are you not answering is the question
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Yes. "Oops, thought I had replied". Or dont even address it.
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>>17139332
>Oops, thought I had replied
dont EVER do this, its fucking retarded. dont even mention it.
How do I man up and gain confidence? I feel mentally unattractive and I don't know how else to fix it.
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>>17139291
You probably have some sort of mental issue. I'm not saying that as an insult, but its very likely. Maybe you have some sort of social anxiety, or depression. I'd suggest going to a doctor, finding out whats wrong with you, and if need be, get some medication. Nothing I say will magically heal your mental issues.
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>>17139296
This mainly.
I sense some kind of social anxiety aswell. Try being yourself (and by being yourself I mean really being yourself and not catering to others wants and needs), see how it works out.
Just as I told another anon on a different topic: the only way to make sure at least some people like you is to be yourself, you might just encounter someone who has the same insecurities as you with whom you'll be able to share something which you might even enjoy.
Long story short: NO ONE is "mentally unattractive" to everyone UNLESS they're constantly pretending to be something they're not while everyone else can clearly tell.
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>>17139296
>>17139304
What the hell, I 'm not OP but if I lack confidence and have low self esteem I have mental issues?
>>17139304
I very often catered to what others wanted. I don' t mind helping most of times. Should I continue when it doesn't bother me?
I have this girl who needs help for work,and I don't mind helping her at all even of thats for hours.
Hey guys my GF just broke up with me because I had a psychotic outbreak a week ago and went around yelling and screaming before passing out (cause drinks).
I love her still and I know she still has feelings for me. She says she can't be with me because of this type of thing. I said to her that it was just one time because of stress and what not. She eventually said she just wanted to be friends.
I really want to get back with her.
What should I do?
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There is more to her decision than your outbreak. If she was truly frightened/upset over what you did, she wouldn't want to continue being friends following the break-up. She's using that as a convenient excuse to do what she's been considering doing for a while now.
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>>17139258
Hi buddy,
I recently went through the (almost) same thing. I have very deep emotional issues when it comes to trust and commitment. I've been dating this girl for about five months and last week I had a terrible psychotic outbreak just like you because I was afraid she would cheat on me with customers from the bar where she was planning on working nightshifts. I ended up telling her that I had no problem with her taking the job as long as she guaranteed to be fine with the fact that if I found out that she had somehow cheated on me I'd savagely murder her and the guy whom she cheated on me with, and then proceed to cut them into pieces in order to make sure their families would never hear from them again.
So yeah, just so you know that I've been in the place where you're coming from. What I mean to tell you is this: if she really loved you she would have stayed/if she really loves you she will come back once you get better. If not, well then just leave her on the sidelines and focus on getting better, for your own sake.
I turned myself into a mental institution last week and I've never been better. I'm getting the right meds for my anxiety and my psychiatrist tells me that there's no way in hell that I'm sick since I KNOW that it was an outbreak (just as you do).
Keep your head up, and if you have any questions, go ahead, I have half an hour until my GF comes to visit me
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>>17139279
>I'd savagely murder her and the guy whom she cheated on me with, and then proceed to cut them into pieces in order to make sure their families would never hear from them again.
Jesus christ, dude.