Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5388. page

>>17154069
Also, her engagement ring is a silver ring with several clear crystal in it while her new ring is a gold ring with a small pearl

Shes engaged you fucking sped. Just move on. Doesnt make sense to wait around like that.

>>17154131
She is engaged with a guy living 350km/200miles away

>>17154060
To paraphrase advice from another thread...
>The problem is your inability to recognize your own strengths and positive attributes. You don't believe in yourself and you don't give yourself credit for your accomplishments, intelligence, etc. So you need to start doing that. Contemplative reflection.

Start by making a list of the things that you CAN DO WELL and avoid dwelling on any negatives! GL out there!

>>17154094
Thing is, this list would be either inexsitant or very very short.

>>17154060

a lot of people never bohter completing or sharing a piece of work, simply because they think its not ready / good enough. and its never not ready / good enough. therefore they never get the confidence that comes with knowing they did something, and the validation from peers or even strangers on the internet.

to put it into perspective, I once decided to create new episodes of sailor moon by cutting out animations frame by frame, and re editing them, dubbing them etc. to make new stories.

there were several competing projects that did this as well. the difference between us is that I actually finished the project, and none of hte competition did.

as such, even though it was obviously flawed, i got the self esteem boost knowing that i was the first / only person to actually finish, and everyone else quit. I'm now the guy who sticks with something. the one wiht the determination to do it. instead of the excuse everyone else gave which is
>WERE SUCH PERFECTIONIST THAT IF WE CANT DO IT RIGHT WE WOULDNT DO IT AT ALL

essentially trying to shit talk me for succeeding where they failed. as you can imagine these people in the last ten years have still yet to complete any of the projects they set out to. cuz they, like you, were too scared to actually finish it.

also having people respond positively to my work (even if not universal) gives me that ego boost to give me confidence. it also gave me the criticism to know what I did do wrong, which actually makes you MORE confident as a person, because you realize how to fix it for future projects. never be afraid of criticism, it literally gives you more confidence.

>>17154010
Any sort of entry level office job.

The degree you got heavily relies on networking and internships. If you did not do either of those things, you can't just waltz into a job in government. You need to get an internship working with local or state government.

>>17154010
Events Planner
City Manager International Market Researcher
Business Administrator Diplomat
Executive Search Consultant Editor
Executive Assistant Journalist
Financial Planner Intelligence Agent
Political Correspondent Human Resources Specialist
Foreign Service Worker Policy Analyst
Public Opinion Analyst Technical Writer
Education/Teacher Politician
Political Consultant Media Specialist
Public Relations Director Human Rights Advocate
Urban Policy Planner Labor Relations Specialist
Legal Investigator Parole/Probation Officer
Strategic Planning Consultant Lawyer/Paralegal
Lobbyist/Organizer Cosumer Advocate
Historical Archivist/Researcher Sales Manager
Social Worker Congressional Research

I just copied and pasted from Michigan State's website.

>>17154010
You know it's law school or bust.

>>17154004
>I actively read blogs and magazines geared towards female stereotypes
>I was surprised so much of it contained female stereotypes

Bruh, that's like reading "muh red pill" blogs and magazines geared towards men and then complaining "male culture" demands way too much from them.

>>17154004
>princess syndrome
My gf prefers "queen" tyvm

I don't understand it either OP, I don't mind treating her good but when it is something she expects it takes the fun out of it.

>>17154012

red pill is just one blog

I'm talking about all the material girls grow up with.

Tips on attracting a boyfriend, putting on makeup and all that jazz.

It's all geared towards turning you into a pretty little thing that acts the right way so that guys will approach.

There's even shitloads of advice on NOT approaching guys because it's a turnoff for them.

>>17153950
You listed a lot of shit qualities. Instead of trying to find something that accommodates your shit qualities (spoiler: you won't find anything), you need to work on correcting those bad aspects of yourself.

If you didn't suck at maths, I would suggest going on a training course to become a croupier; people will occasionally talk to you, and you need to interact when necessary but most of the time they will focus on gambling/socialising with others.

Every single job out there requires some form of social interaction, so you need to suck it up and try your best. Over time, your social skills will improve, and you'll end up wondering why you ever worried.

>>17153950
You might do well as a mail room worker, warehouse manager, security guard or a public servant in a position of authority! Hmmm...

Just keep going.

>>17153783
Put in your two weeks?

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Just do something else when you feel the need. I've been clean for a couple years now.

kill urself

>>17153774
Spanish is my native language.
Ask me anything.

study

>>17153676
Drop social media.
Focus in other aspects of you life like hobbies or health.

I'm 27 and I've never had a girlfriend

you get used to being lonely after awhile

>>17153676
You are inferior in some ways, but superior in others. Focus on that. Or, get a bf/gf on Match.com, or some shit

>>17153639
This is not "anxiety" or "depression".
It's likely BPD instead (borderline personality disorder).
She's abusing you and you need to break it off for your health and sanity.

Tell her parents that she is suicidal.

She is not making your life any better and unfortunately for her, the dice she was given weren't the best.

She may have a psychological/emotional imbalance.

It's not her fault. Or, maybe she just wants to make your life miserable. You really need to sit down and talk to her and be honest and don't hold anything back. Speak your mind and tell her to speak hers honestly. If she gets mad, you need to leave. You tried your best. But, in the end. It's your life.

>>17153653
Yes, I do think she is bipolar. Actually, she even told me she believes she is.

>>17153620
Chicks in their 20s still have that pious naive streak. If you were in your 40s this'd be much easier.

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Don't cheat.

>>17153620
I hope your wife will cheat on you too, with some black cocks

Am I a bad gf if I abandon the ship on the first big problem, but on the other hand I don't want to "try" and maybe, just maybe, one day he'll be "normal" again (which he told me he can't promise me he'll be).
I'm 24. I don't want to "waste" years of my life trying to make him happy again just so that he could one day say goodbye to me when he's had enough.

I know I fucked up and I'm not looking for a magical answer. But I need advice. (part 2)

>>17153526
>Because of my body image, in average we would maybe have sex 1-2 times a week, which was a problem to him (a problem he mention to me various of times over the years)

He chose to stay with you and was attracted to have sex. That should have been an indicator to you that your body was fine. The fact that he talked to you about it and you brushed it off was pretty shitty on your part.

>"look what you made me do"
No. He did it himself. If people flirt/cheat, they will try blame the other person as a copout excuse. They drove him to cheat. They didn't actually. There is zero excuse for cheating. Zero. I've cheated before, revenge cheating when I found my ex fucked someone behind my back. While the reason for me doing so was spurned by revenge, it was me that ultimately made the decision to stick by her, and me that made the decision to cheat. Not hers. The same applies to your man. If he's that unhappy, he splits. Not trying to have his cake and eat it.

As for advice, you sit him down and talk about it. And if he's not willing to work at it, you break up. That's all there is to it. Both of you are expressing things, but not actually taking on point whats said. At first it was you about not having enough sex, although honestly, 2 times a week having been together for 6 years isn't all that bad. Now it's him generally jumping all over the place.

You're in an emotionally abusive relationship and your boyfriend sounds depressed. Good news? You lost weight and are comfortable with sex, replacing him will be a snap. Hop to it.

It is worth buy a few yards of thick fabric, about 3½-4 lbs. of cotton batting, a needle (large), and some hefty thread.

>>17153442
it's worth it if the mattress is actually worth the money, and if you plan to use the same size bed for the next 5-10 years. personally I would not recommend going out and buying THE most expensive mattress. but like most things, a cheapo mattress is going to wear out way too soon. you might luck out and get one of those rare good cheap mattresses. but personally if it were me, I would go with something mid-range.

make sure you do your research and read reviews and product ratings before buying. if you go to a mattress store, they may try to upsell you. but if you decide beforehand how much you want to spend, most reasonably polite salespeople will respect that (though they may try to sell you, say, a $375 mattress if you tell them your upper limit is $350).

if you're on a budget and/or you're still not sure about a mattress, maybe consider starting with a futon and see how it goes. some people's backs work better with less padding, some with more. a futon is cheap and versatile so it's not a bad investment anyway. if it works out, great, if not, start saving and researching for a good mattress. you spend 1/3 of your life in bed, might as well get something that's not going to kill your back.

no one's going to fuck you for an extended period of time if you don't have a mattress. buy used, throw one of those water-proof matresss covers on it. will block any of the undesirable stuff from the mattress from ever coming in contact for you. or drop 800 bucks for a saatva /casper (online retailer) and get ten years of use

>>17153426
breakup with her if you're not happy. You can't fix someone, and if she has mental issues that she isn't willing to get treated, then you're only going to end up getting hurt. I watched my brother go through something similar

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>>17153426
She and I loved each other, it is at the 6 month mark. Older gents and ladies be kind about that, it's a long time to someone our age :)

I'm definitely not as bummed out about the abuse as I thought I might be. I had started practicing mindfulness about a year ago, and was already a chill kind of guy anyway.

But when someone you really care about like that says all of those really awful things about you it is very hard not to feel hurt, I've also said hurtful stuff back although I never yelled it at her.

It's really starting to get me down too. I suggested this morning leaving for a few days to give her space and coming back on Friday (so 3 days away Tue wen thu, back on Fri night after work).

This was met with her crying and telling me to not come back until Monday. I told her no, that situations where she asked me to go she asked me to come back like 10 min later. Told her id stay.

I got home at 6pm today and there was a civilly worded note saying she had covered a shift at work for a sick friend, and for me to go back to my folks for a bit.

So here I am sitting in her/our room. Waiting for her to come back. I've parked my bike around the corner, so she won't know I'm here until she comes to her room. No idea when she will be back. Probably late.

I've been reading "I had a black dog and it's name was depression"
It's been a big help.

Here's a YouTube link to the video by the same guy.
https://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc

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>>17153436
I feel trapped by my strong feelings for her. I don't want to leave her when she is going through a hard time too.

It's just that this is something that happens every 3 months (once before) and otherwise it's a very pleasant and healthy relationship. She different flip out like this and I'm not sure what is going on with it all.

>>17153399
First rule in college and work

Don't believe everything you hear and dont trust people who are biased

A guy in my group was trying to get laid in hs with a girl who's now in the same college, he spreads rumors of her being a slut and fucking guys around
She's sweet and okay to talk to and doesn't go around guys that much

We didn't know he was into her until she told us.
He denies it but is really pissy on the subject and she hates him

Who do you trust?
Nobody

If you like the girl go for her, guys and girls talk shit all the time and its especially true for work, mind your own business but keep your ears and eyes open

Id go for the girl, i wouldn't go for her if a person who truly knows her and if im friends with thst person, and i mean good friends, really good

>>17153399
Sounds more like that guy tried to use her as an easy fuck but got rejected, so now he's spreading rumors about her for revenge. If she was really that slutty, why would she bother hanging out with you like a normal person for so long? Sluts would just lay it on heavy and want a quick fuck. Like above anon said, don't believe everything you hear.

Spend more time with this girl and get to know her better. Her character will tell you everything you need to know.

>>17153411
>>17153403
Nah you dont understand. I talked to her about it and she tried to brush it off as a thing in the past and that the details didnt really matter. Its unlikely hes lying.

>>17153246
Don't care. Orgasm is what matters. If his dick can do it, great. I doubt it can, but go for it. Oral is always the more reliable source of orgasm. If a guy can make me cum, regardless of method, I'll gladly submit to him.

Pretty far until she's accumulated a bit of experience. By simple word of mouth, younger women quite often seek out popular men.

Once they're all done with the raw pleasure aspect, they start caring more about the actual person.

>a man having power over me