I graduated high school in 2010, went to community college on and off for a couple years, and had been NEET since.
I got a job at the start of the month and have been losing weight and looking into going back to school to finish things up, but I'm absolutely mortified at the 3-4 years I completely wasted doing nothing but ordering pizza and browsing the web, taking full advantage of my parent's affluence and lack of desire to kick me out. I'll be graduating college in 2019 at the earliest. That's kinda hard to swallow.
Will I get over it? I'm "only" 24, but it's really easy to think up scenarios where I'd be in a real career already and not have any of these other self-inflicted problems or massive gaps in my work history.
tl;dr pulling myself out of NEETdom but the amout of time i wasted is sinking in and causing panic; halp
I don't remember making this thread, but it is so relevant to me to the point where it is spooky
>>17165615
where are you working and what do you wanna study
are you annoyed by how all your coworkers are high schoolers, or dumb mexicans who nonetheless work a lot faster than you
>>17165620
Oh I'm not working, but everything else matches up. I'm going to do general ed for now and it's depressing because of how much time I've had to think about this. People ask me what I want to do when I grow up and I almost say 'kill myself'.
So yeah I can't say I can give you advice. I hope this stuff works out. Sorry to hear about your colleagues
Ever been in love with a friend's gf? Has it ever been reciprocated? How did you deal with the situation? Stories and advice welcome.
In high school my bf's best friend and I fell for each other. After he confessed, I was straight up with my bf and broke up right away. I definitely took the band-aid approach, but felt that it was best to be brutally honest.
It was a rough transition and most of our friends ditched us for a while, but we've been together ever since. Married 7 years now.
The moral here is, if you're going to make a move on your friend's girl, you better make damn sure that what you're feeling is the real deal, and be prepared to lose some friends forever.
>>17165641
I know what I'm feeling is the real deal. I don't think she knows what she feels desu.
My main concern after hurting him is getting ditched by all my friends. I'd be interested to hear more about your friends reaction and how you picked up the piece afterwards.
>>17165641
And also the what goes through the head of a girl who falls for one of her bfs best friends? You could give me a great insight into how she's possibly feeling. Maybe how I can help her process this or deal with it.
Please read up if you train football (soccer).
If anyone here plays football (soccer) on a competitive level, they would be perfect for answering.
Long story short, I'm 19 and have barely played football throughout hs. Before that I kind of played regularly with randoms, but that was it. I never trained in an academy. Now, I'm not super bad but I'm not that good either, I believe it isn't because of lack of a talent, but simply because I just haven't played it that often, especially recently. Now (yes now) I want to try and fulfil my lifelong dream and I would like to try out (or at least ask them if they'd let me) for a recently established shitty local team. I just want to start practising, especially with some peers.
Now, how would I best prepare for a try-out, if given a chance? I can run a lot, my passes are decent, my shooting and shooting accuracy is meh, but I'm working on technique, and my biggest problem is ball control. I easily lose it 1v1. I've been doing some drills which I've seen on YT where you do various exercises where you move the ball from one feet to another, practising various touches.
How can I maximize my chances of getting in, what else can I practice? I wanted to train in an academy ever since I was a kid, but I got cockblocked by my parents so that's why I'm trying to pursue my dream now. I know I'm a little too old for this, but I believe if I really forced myself, I may have a chance at making something out of it (starting to practice in a shitty team in a low league and perhaps climbing my way up over time)
>now
>tl:dr
How to maximize my chances of getting in a shitty local team and how would I practice for it?
You need to play against people as soon as possible, have you any friends that would have a mini match?
I would play to your strengths when attempting to get into a team. If you can't dribble well then don't, just play a nice pass.
To improve your ball skills a tip that was given to me was to have a ball at all times. For example In the house foam ball, take a jog in the park whilst controlling your ball all the time. Even take your ball on a walk to the store.
Use your toes to move the ball
Sidefoot passes
You don't need to be able to shoot but, toes under the ball always will net you a good cross, which is more important.
Just incase you don't know, a cross in is where you're to the left or right of the pitch near goal and you pass it overhead to a player on the opposite side of the pitch
>>17165585
That's great advice, thanks. I'll start doing that. Don't really have any friends that play football though, had 7 guys in my class, rest was girls, couple guys were "girlified" and the rest just plain uninterested.
>>17165600
Thanks for he advice dude, appreciate it!
I have two free weeks until my summer job starts and I have literally nothing to do. I only have two friends, one works often and the other is undependable as shit.
What social things can I quickly get involved in in the next couple of weeks if I am starting out with functionally 0 friends?
>>17165449
games
>>17165449
can we have some background on your personality? Like are you a total fucking dweeb or can you hold conversation and not be awkward?
Also, is it friends you want or girls? 'cause the two ain't the same my friend.
>>17165545
You mean sports or vidya? How is the latter social?
>>17165553
Friends to your second question. For the first, I'd like to think I'm decent in conversations but I am a bit autistic. I hide it well with causal acquaintances.
I'm a 22 year old male who had severe depression since age 14 and schizophrenia.
The only reason I live is for my families sake. I don't want to hurt them. I've been living on sheer willpower for the last years but I don't know how long I can last.
Whenever I think I must live another 40 years or so I feel daunted.
How to stay alive?
>>17165430
Move out. Get a job.
Take the burden of your mental illness away from your poor family, they must be sick and tired of you by now.
>>17165447
I'm moved out but can't do a job. It took me 8 hours today to wash a single cup.
>>17165430
Hang in there man. Maybe a change of environment could be good. The other anon is a bit harsh but there is truth in his words. It can be very stressful for a family to cope with a mentally ill member.
You can live your life. Depression is something that can be fixed. Schizophrenia can be managed. Maybe you don't like the idea of a psychologist shoveling meds down your throat but you could still visit a counselor and seek advice from them. Talk about things. They've trained and seen people like you, and if you're lucky, they know what they're doing and can help.
Giving up might seem tempting but what's the point? There are plenty of experiences in life. Sometimes you take the ass end of life for 10 years but it can change in days.
keep your head up
Subject sums up my life. 18 yrs old and kissless virgin. Never had a girlfriend. Barely spoke to girls throughout school.
Feel pretty depressed because I don't know if I can ever find someone. What advice can you give me to find a girl that I can enjoy being with?
I'm overweight and have been for several years, so the crucial years where I could have been socialising with girls, I spent hiding from them ashamed of my body, but too lazy to fix it.
Now I am trying to fix it but it will still take a long time. I am 95kg and 6ft.
Also I am an asian and mostly really only talked to white girls through my life. Do i have a chance with any white girls?
You need to become confident in yourself. Getting in shape, doing well in school, and enjoying a hobby are great ways to build confidence. Women don't like men who aren't confident in themsleves.
>>17165432
Do I still even have a chance though? Most of my friends are not virgins and have had at least one girlfriend in school. I feel like I made a big mistake by wasting that chance
>>17165440
If you a really believe that you are fat and unattractive, then start getting in shape. I'm 6'3" and 190lbs. You wight 15 lbs more than I do, which isn't really that much. The fact that you are 6' puts you way ahead of other men.
Do you have any questions? Do you do well in a certain academic subject?
So I'm a virgin and planning on losing my virginity to my boyfriend. We actually tried the other day, but it turns out my boyfriend is HUGE. It's 8&3/4 inches, no joke. It just hurt too much. Any tips for making it not hurt as bad.
>>17165345
I also have a large penis and several girls had trouble handling it and they weren't virgins. The best advise I have is to go slow and focus on having fun and not just on having intercourse. Get your bf to make you orgasm using fingers and tongue and make sure you are very wet and relaxed (difficult when a virgin). You will become more relaxed with more experience in the fun side of sex so when it's time for intercourse you're not stressed out over all the other aspects (like being naked together or nervous about how your pussy looks).
It's important to get some good lube and put plenty on his penis and all over your pussy. Spread lube everywhere down there because a long thick penis will drag your lips inwards as he enters, causing you pain like a Chinese burn.
TL;DR. Relax and lube everything
>>17165345
Do you still have a cervix? break that first and let it heal for a couple of days then try sex.
You need to relax your pelvic muscles first. So HOURS of foreplay. If you manage to cum first it will be much better for you.
In my experience it was 200% less enjoyable than I thought sex was gonna be. Just dick back and forth, very boring, the friction is just annoying at first. Then you learn to ignore it.
>>17165437
>Do you still have a cervix?
>break that first
my father died 1 week ago.
I didn't see him for 15 years, he abandoned me when i was 13... never talked since then.
at first i was... "sad"... but then nothin else. it was just like when you spill water on the floor.
i took some days off from work because i thought it was the right choice. but couldn't be able to feel sad.
Now i'm "normal" but at the same time i feel like i can't completely enjoy anithing else..
everytime i'm at a party, playing, making love, drawing there's this voice telling me "he's dead. you should be sad".
i feel more "angry" than sad thou...
not sure what kind of advice i'm looking for, probably i just wanted to write this stuff down.
>>17165314
It sucks that your father died. You'll never have the chance to establish an adult relationship with him or tell him to "fuck off" if that's what you wanted to do. You probably feel that loss.
On the other hand, he hasn't really been a part of your life. His death actually isn't going to affect you any way. People expect you to feel a loss that you're not going to feel. Ironically, some people start feeling guilty because they don't feel bad enough.
Don't.
Grieve any way you need to, but don't beat yourself up about it.
>>17165314
Can I ask what you are angry about?
First of all, sorry for your loss.
It eventually gets easier to deal with as times goes on. I'm 30 and I lost my dad at 26. We were really close though. Frankly I haven't been the same since that day. I couldn't enjoy anything for the longest time. I stopped talking to a lot of my friends. Stop pursuing relationships and didn't care too much for sex anymore. In the past couple of months I've slowly started to become the person I used to be but it's still kind of awkward because a lot has happened in 4 years. So even if I didn't have to deal with that all this time I would have changed a little anyway, but him passing had a major influence on the change over the past 4 years.
I can tell I'll never fully be over it but soon life for me will go back to normal. He'll just be a thought and very fond memories that I'll cherish but they won't have much of an impact on how I live my life anymore. I guess it's all part of the acceptance.
I'm sure some people have gone through this process a lot sooner and some a lot longer. There is really no universal. It's different for everyone. Just do and feel whatever you want and don't worry about what anyone says or thinks. No one can fully understand what you're going through or how to deal with it except you.
What should I change so I look better (other than smiling, working on that)? Am I actually alright looking or am I delusional?
>>17165311
(edited out a nasty ass zit on my chin)
Facial hair.
>>17165316
As in grow it out?
Like a stubble or full beard?
I'm Swedish and in my senior year at a small private high school that was supposed to be good. It wasn't. Teachers suck, I hate my class, there is 0 fun, etc. I hate everything about it.
There is this large public high school closer to where I live that's really good. Inspiring teachers, great people many of which I know, lots of clubs, nicer building, good reputation etc.
I wish I had chosen that school instead. I fucking hate myself for not going there. It's obvious now that it's better in every way but I was dumb when I picked school.
Ever since I started high school I wanted to switch to that school, but I never did for some reason. Now I regret that. I have missed out on soooo much. My high school experience has been nothing. I wish I could forget it altogether honestly.
I feel like I will forever regret this. Unless I repeat senior year at that school.
And just to stress this again: I really really fucking regret my choice and wish I could go back. I would do anything. I feel like I won't be able to live my life knowing I wasted my later teenage years like this. I hate myself for it.
What would you do? Should I repeat senior year? Should I move on and risk being unhappy about it for the rest of my life? Should I do something else? I just feel like killing myself.
Most people mourn those years. They feel they made bad choices; they relive the "if onlys" over and over. You're overthinking it. The other school would not be the glorious experience you imagine.
Most people stop thinking about highschool almost immediately after starting something else. It's really not a big deal.
>>17165304
But my school really fucking sucks and that school seems to be better in every way. In fact it is objectively better.
This school made me depressed honestly. I can't imagine it being worse in that school.
I'm 23, halfway to 24. This is my facial hair on my cheeks. Ive been using castor and coconut oil. How long will it take? Will I have a good-ish beard by 24-25?
All your doing is clogging your pores with that shit.
Do some actual research on what makes hair grow healthy, you're probably lacking testosterone or something .
>>17165228
The good news is that by the time you can grow a beard, the cancerous beard meme phase that bro culture is in right now will be over and done with. They're so gross.
>>17165228
Nigger you will never have a beard, deal with it. Some people can't grow them. Don't try and end up with chin pubes, it's not a good look. Clean shave and low bodyfat works for everyone
What's life like in a UK prison? Do you really get raped?
>>17165218
No, we're not americans. It's just really boring, like most prisons. Avoid gangs and you'll be fine
>>17165222
Thanks for the reply.
Is it possible to get your own cell or do you have to share?
>>17165218
Got to share I'm afraid. 2 men a cell. Raping don't happen and don't trust (strongly mean this) the screws!
My relationship of 5 months ended yesterday.
I broke it off because I felt like I was more attached to her than she was to me. She was the first girl I've had sex with, and the fist girl I ever really had a relationship with.
My feelings of unequal attachment were amplified by the fact that she didn't want to open up to me, and that she still hung out with her ex, who she left me for.
I feel that my neediness and feelings of attachment and insecurity were the primary downfall of the relationship.
What can I do to prevent this from happening again? I'm afraid that when I do find someone else, I'll get too attached and sabotage myself.
>>17165177
Who she left for me*
>>17165177
It sounds like you did the right thing to me.
>>17165188
Thank you. I think we had different goals in the relationship. I think I wanted to be more serious than she did. I just can't shake the feeling that if I had developed feelings slower, and allowed her more time to open up to me, that things could have worked out.
Met this nice girl at my gym. She is 28, a bit older than me and has a master business or something. Just want to know how to handle them, how are they different? Women between the age of 25 to 30.
>>17165172
I like them way better. They usually have something interesting to say and flake less.
They're usually more interested in looking for a husband rather than just a lay, so they're more interested in your job, income and what you like to do for fun and less interested in how your abs look.
>>17165288
Is having lower education such a turn off for them? I never went to college but let's say my job involves saving lives daily. I noticed she likes well dressed men and I have never seen someone so devoted to a job (she is in entrepreneurship and literally goes at every convention/conference possible)
>>17165300
Forgot to add that I still live with my parents at 22. I am saving up some money before moving out
>be me, haven't had sex in 2 years
>girl I met studying abroad has been here for almost a year
>is leaving in less than a month
>has confessed she has feelings for me but I don't reciprocate
>been unable to control my horny level recently
>she lives alone in a single dorm room
>seeing her this weekend and may be able to hang out with her in her room
Can it be done? We've never been physical in any way before this, like kissing or anything. I don't even know how to get around to it and if she'd be insulted (or even DTF). Thoughts?
>>17165112
>Might be able to hang out in her room
If you can do this,then it should be pretty easy for you and you won't need advice.
>>17165123
Problem is, I'm a scumbag and I'd be leading her on massively for the purpose of getting my dick wet. What's the best way to broach the subject?
>>17165157
Depends on if you want to be a scumbag and hurt someone or not.