Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5259. page

>>17190722

You're a man child.

Grow up and stop being a pussy

>>17190724
uh that doesn't really help.

>>17190722

where do you live?

Some reasons to avoid CS:

> market is over-saturated
> out-sourcing
> tough job, a lot of people (seem) to be dissatisfied with it

Could still be worth it though if you really like computers. More advice is needed, my words aren't nearly good enough on their own.

Major in sucking dick

>>17190697
Thanks for the response.

>market oversaturate
I know there's a lot of CS majors, but I think a lot of them are retards who got into the field because they "like video games", and things like that.

>outsourcing
when pajeet codes, it breaks. People have been claiming outsourcing will happen for years now but they still keep going back to college educated coders.

Just what I hear, I used to have the same feelings.

And it's not like there's actually jobs in math/physics anyway, all of STEM is fucked. Every major is fucked.

>>17190671
Tell her you're not comfortable with it, which is the truth. She can either respect that or ignore it. Her decision will show you how important she considers your relationship.

>>17190671
>She asked if I was okay with it

That's her way of avoiding guilt should something happen. B-but you said it was okay. It's not my fault. I wove you. And if you say no then you look insecure. It's a lose lose.

>>17190688

>It's a lose lose

Yeah this is mainly what I'm thinking. And it's a triple lose because I already told her a while back that I didn't feel comfortable with her hanging out with this dude.

Bump?

I passed some time helping out one of the other folks in the catalog.

If she asks to go out again, just be like

"Though I really enjoyed talking with you & we had a lot in common, I felt like there wasn't much of a spark"

Best to be straightforward

>>17190800
Its simple
Hey xx, im sorry but i dont think this works out.

>>17190660
if they can detect the antibiotics in your blood, they're gonna know you were lying because you have to get your blood tested before they okay you for accutane

>>17190660
How long did you take the doxy, and how long ago? Did you use any topical stuff (such as creams, gels, etc) while on it? Is there anything different about the treatment they're having you do now?

Ask if you can try something different.

>>17190644
Hey there man, here's some advice on how to answer these sorts of questions. I'm not going to tell you EXACTLY what to say because going in with a memorized set of lines can turn out badly (what if you forget your lines? what if it sounds unnatural? what if the interviewer asks something you didn't anticipate?), but these guidelines and examples should help.

> Why do you want to work here?
Obviously the real answer here is because you want money, but you shouldn't say that. Try to tie your values in with the values of the grocery store. Maybe you want enjoy being part of a team and like helping people (even in small ways)? Those are both qualities that would be great to have in a grocery-store employee but ALSO explain why you'd enjoy and be good at the job.

> What are your strengths?
For your strength, try to figure out what the most important thing for a grocery store employee is. When I shop at a grocery store I like when the employees are friendly and know the store well, so some important strengths to highlight might be friendliness and good memory.

> And weaknesses?
DO NOT SAY YOU HAVE NO WEAKNESSES. But that doesn't mean you should be ridiculously humble. Try to come up with one weakness that can be twisted into a strength at the same time. Maybe you're sorta a people-pleaser, but that makes you easy to work with. Maybe you're a big self-critic, but that means that you're very careful about how you do things.

[Will continue in a minute, typing up a response for the rest of your questions.]

>>17190760

> Why should we hire you?
Again, like the first question, this one isn't really about you. They don't care if you need the money or because you think it would be neat. Try to highlight what about you will make their grocery store even better. Maybe your enthusiasm will help you learn fast? Maybe you'll help promote a friendly atmosphere for customers? Just make sure you don't accidentally insult the store. It's good to say how your multi-tasking skills will help keep the registers moving fast, but don't imply that the registers are currently really slow.

> What is your greatest accomplishment?
Remember the part where they asked about your strengths? This is sorta like that. Pick an accomplishment that's relevant to what they need out of an employee and make sure to highlight the skill/talent/ability (one relevant to the job) that you used to achieve the accomplishment. Try to make your accomplishment+skill different than your strength, or you'll sound repetitive.

> Do you have any questions for us?
Yes! But like the other questions, remember that it's still not really about you. Don't ask stuff you can find out in the employee handbook or online, ask stuff that will engage your interviewer. Some good examples are "What can you tell me about the job that isn't in the descriptions?", "What is the key to success at this job?", or "If anyone has performed particularly poorly at this job, how did they do so?" Try to sound curious, and make sure you're engaged when the interviewer answers.

That should cover you for those five questions, but make sure to do some research on your own about how to interview well. There are a few things that can really help your chances (good handshake, eye contact, hygiene, professionalism, a good follow-up, knowing about the place of business and job) that you don't need be to go into since there are numerous guides online. A simple Google search will offer a lot of information.

Lastly, good luck man. You'll do well.

>>17190760
>>17190794
Thanks for the kinda deep help. Except at the accomplishment. Like I said I've been a neet for awhile and I haven't really done anything that is accomplishment worthy. Hopefully I don't freeze when asked this.

I have the very same fears as you OP.
Mom living off social security she sold her condo and instead of saving the money bought herself a new car and other unnecessary things.
She actually went and spoke to a financial advisor who told her not to do these things and save her money but... She clearly thinks that I, who do not have much money and 2 kids, will somehow support her formerly abusive butt. She doesn't even offer to buy me any nice stuff and never has.

I am an adopted only child and she is divorced so I don't know what she is thinking.

>>17190636

> I am an adopted only child and she is divorced so I don't know what she is thinking.

Holy fuck, same here. I'm not the religious type but if I was I would have thought my adoptive mom's inability to have children was an act of god, with me being adopted a weird misstep in their plan. Perhaps it was the same with you, maybe these cruel ladies couldn't bare children for a reason and had no business adopting. It certainly seems so. Not to mention how painful it is to go through divorce when you're already adopted, any issues with attatchment that formed previously are bound to be compounded through divorce.

Honestly I'm pretty surprised someone else on here is going through something so similar, its kind of a rare situation to be in.

>>17190689
Thats actually exactly how I feel...
That God did not want her to have kids. Because she treated me like crap, she basically adopted me to save a failing marriage and it didn't work then she became major league abusive.
She is still
Batshit crazy and jealous of everything I have accomplished.


I have my own kids biologically and the way I approach is so different.
I can only imagine like... She wasn't meant to have kids but somehow she got her hands on one to feel more normal and now she already fucked up a lot of my life and I do not want to support her. Keeps me up at night sometimes...

..cont

she told me he cant please her like I do, and I know her only wanting me for my dick is shitty but I am so attached to her I am willing to take any interaction with her I can get.. I legit fucked a girl last night and i instantly felt like shit because it wasnt with my ex.. no emotion or passion, just shitty pleasure. this last week ive been hiding my emotions from her to make her seem like im doing fine without her always in my life but i think that is part of why she did this. its like she gets off of me chasing her and being fixated on her 24/7 but is quick to reject me for this new guy at any moment.

if this sounds like she is done with me for good. i have her new boyfriends number and I am thinking about telling him about fucking me to maybe get him to dump her. she has been fucking me and seeing him right after so he is a cuck. almost three years younger than me and doesnt have anything like job/car/license/school

bump......... id really like someones thoughts on this, i dont care what you say

he sounds like the type a dude to lash at you if you try to change him and your bro might join in too. you can try to manipulate him into doing it."i found you a date" "yo let's try this new gym" "i found a party, but ya gotta look nice." if all ya'll do is see marvel movies and drink he's not gonna change. this is all for the appearance though. it wont help for the personality.

why are you so interested, anon?

>>17190568
Talk about the things you want him to do but about yourself.

"I need a haircut, my hair is getting too long."

"My hair is greasy, I can tell because XYZ"

"I need to lose weight, I'm getting fat."

"I'm glad I'm employed. Not working for long is bad for your health."

Just try not to sound too condescending, and try not to be too obvious.

>>17191473
This will be obvious if the guy is sensitive and just makes people feel worse in general
You won't get him to change without manipulating him unless you become his friend. But do you want to ? Are you sincerely sorry for him and interested in his future ? Or are you just irked because he doesn't meet the standards you have for a 20 year old male ?

...It's not that I don't want to be with him. I love him deeply and I think we could have a wonderful future. I feel obligated to hold onto my past, all of the time I have with my husband, and my friends that we share. I don't know if I should choose a loveless, dull, safe marriage, or going with someone who would be the supportive, loving, devoted husband that would make me far happier than I am now.

File: 1333855070276.jpg (7KB, 251x220px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 251x220px

Bet you said all the same nice shit about the guy you're married to now before you got bored with him.

Where was your husband when you were out going on dates with your friend? Why get married with someone without talking about having kids?

>>17190560
I went with the "rational" choice for a husband, and it's not that I'm bored with him and doing this for the excitement, it's that my husband has stopped being supportive, reneged on his interest in having kids, and is increasingly passive aggressive. I have a better career, that pays more, with a more advanced degree, and he treats me like I should be a stay at home wife. It's degrading.

Have you tried grapefruiting your man?

>>17190557
I dont even know what that is...

>>17190569
youtube.com/verify_age?next=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhdHZ5hp45Fc&client=mv-google

You get that priceless feel of being better than other people, duh.

Actually, wondering about that too.
Though, people who are nice and supportive get successful, with the sheer power of their likeable personality, so the "all high-achievers are treacherous bastards" isn't all that true. Usually you have to be likeable and not-too-obviosly-a-hypocrite to achieve something, because you can't fight alone. Networking is power.

According to my observations in college.

>>17190518
Though healthy selfishness and prioritising your needs is number 1 requirement to success, and it doesn't make you worse. You can't do good deeds, if you can't even take care of yourself.
If you're the vain "sacrificing my needs for all those ungrateful bastards" type, i have bad news and bad news.

>>17190544
Thanks for the response. I get the point of being a likeable personality, connecting with power people, and building up your own. But there are so many awful human beings in the world with ludicrous amounts of power (ie money) and they make it in often illegal/morally corrupt things. This obviously shouldn't be a thing but the human world is sadly not perfect. Now comes another problem that constantly nags at me: my desire for the impossible known as perfection. Humans are not perfect and well I hate it and so I hate myself. I'm tired of seeing people push morality in my face, being the better person and all that jazz. Great I support this mentality but when life absolutely shits on me and then I see all these corrupt CEOS and still with more money than God I feel like a tool for wasting my time. I don't seek to be a power hungry CEO or anything like that but I wonder if I made much selfish choices in my life would I be in a better position of success.

Ask him?
Who knows maybe he does maybe he doesn't
Maybe he thinks of you as a friend
Just ask him
If you like him tell him

>>17190461
Sounds like little mans syndrome to me.

Probably because he doesn't like you....

>>17190459
You're looking for divorce or air force /adv/? I thought that they were separate things, but you seem to have linked them in an oddly logical way.

>>17190459
I think I'm just gonna tbqh. This is gonna fuck me up and it's not affecting her at all it seems. I am so oissed

>>17190478
After my wife leaves me I will be quite broken. I feel like the Air Force and a strong career can keep m busy and keep my mind off my failed marriage

>>17190455

I'm a bit older than you and am the same

We're just not attractive for some reason, and now we're fucked for life

Not sure how much longer I can live like this, life is pretty shit

>>17190455
I'm only 18 but same. Literally every guy I know, even the ugly ones have been shown interest by girls at some point.

When a girl is interested in you, she does shit like this: (my friend told me this) , "She will make it very easy for you to escalate things. So for example if you mention that you like hiking in the hills, she will say something like "Oh, I've always wanted to go hiking." Which makes it very easy for you to say "Hey, let's go together this weekend."

It's never happened for me, even though I'm fairly social and approach a lot of girls. And I get rejected when I try.