So, i've been talking to this girl for about a year. She's a bit younger than me, financially dependent. Living with her parents.
And we talk daily, she has very few friends. And i've been telling her that i really want to meet her, to hang out and whatnot.
She basically said it would be cool, but always had this approach, that maybe later, when she isn't living with her parents, or when she moves to another town.
And she has been to my city several times before, but she told me she's always with her mother guarding her, so obviously this wouldn't work out.
Now, last week there was this music festival happening, and she came here with her younger friend. Taking care of her or whatever. She's been in the city for 2 days and yet didn't even try to find time to hang out with me.
And obviously at this point it's clear to me she doesn't really want to hang out or meet me. And because of that i don't really feel like talking to her at all. Call me old fashioned, but i prefer hanging out with friends in real life, as opposed to the internet.
So my question is this... What would be the more mature: simply stopping talking to her without any explanation, telling her that i'm upset about it and that i see that she obviously is not interested in meeting me and because of that i'm not interested in talking to her, or... act like a bitch and pretend that everything is ok and continue talking to her hoping that she will change her mind (obviously not the third one, huh).
Thanks in advance.
Pic unrelated.
Man up and ask what the fuck is up with her not wanting to hang out. If she doesn't want to, get over it. If she does, hot shit.
Don't ever puss out on something like this, or you'll puss out later in life because of this.
nice b8 fag
>>17215152
I'm totally ok with asking her about it. The thing is, how do i ask her about that without sounding needy or butthurt? Image sure she'll say something like "I've been tired, didn't have much time, had to watch my friend" etc. I'm trying to figure out how to say anything without sounding like a beta needy diva.
>>17215180
Dude just ask her. Don't get passive aggressive or anything, just straight up ask if she even wants to hang out. If you have to, tell her you won't get mad or anything and just want an answer.
Don't ever let a woman define who you are.
Any advice on how to have of a quick suicide ? How to get over the fear of death? I'm a lazy 18 year old idiot who doesn't deserve to live
> inb4 they discourage me
>>17215107
Meant to say how to have a quick painless suicide
Stopping your heart would be the quickest way but it is an autonomous body function. You can try holding your breath but it is also physiologically impossible. The next quickest way would be to move yourself to the kitchen and apply the nearest knife to your neck.
>>17215118
What if I have someone smother me in my sleep?
I think I have a problem. Some YEARS ago I had a job at a day care. No idea how a friendless amoral, somewhat of sociopath fuckhole like myself got this job but I held for a couple years. Now there was a girl there that I clicked with pretty well and we got 'close' (for the context our relationship). I used to bring her snacks and shit and share mine with her. I really truly care/cared about her and I can't get her out of my fucking head. It's been YEARS this can't be normal. How do I fix this?
>>17215086
kill yourself, pedo
>>17215086
Was the girl 20?
>>17215115
i knew from like 6-8 ish y/o
>>17215100
not a pedo, its more of a friend thing. i dont give a fuck about anyone but we clicked really well. she sort of tried to keep in touch when it was time to part ways but i blocked it.
I am a 25 year old male and I just don't possess that drive to do things. My sex drive is super weak, I hate traveling, hate going to bars and clubs, hate going to concerts. I feel like I am not living though. Everything seems super boring and the only thing they seems fun is video games. My job feels like shit but it pays decently.
I want to do so much but don't have the drive. I never even had a girlfriend. I feel like age 30 is rapidly approaching and it feels like once you turn 30, your life turns to shit.
Please help me. I feel like I have to cram like 10 years of living into five years of time.
Your life is shit, and you're worried about it falling apart in five years?
Everybody is different.
Don't buy into the 'OMG 30 YEARS OLD AND I START DYING' bullshit. If you maintain a healthy diet that can be lengthened to 40-50.
Get your life in order, you live once, stop acting as if you're some sort of irresponsible passenger in a body that you have to coexist with. Take control.
>>17215034
Yes, I know people who are my age and married with kids already. I am deeply fearful of marriage and children. DEEPLY. Like to the point where babies make me uncomfortable.
I just feel like I have not lived enough. I feel like I need to go to a strip club and slap stripper ass and do other racey shit.
Am I having a quarter life crisis?
How do you do this for multiple essays? Would the info not start getting jumbled up since you're using the same house/palace over and over?
The theory is that you can keep adding rooms. The architecture doesn't even need to be logical. You can imagine a door that leads to a gigantic room that wouldn't fit in a tiny space. It doesn't matter at all.
>>17215007
I was thinking of just using my house for some topic and then using my local area for others. A landmark for each essay. That's proper practice of Loci apparently.
>>17215005
Why do you need to memorize essays?
Also, do you take any nootropics for this?
How can you reassure a girl that this time things will be different? That you have changed your mind on certain aspects of your relationship, of her and of yourself? How can you show her that this time things will work out?
I really feel this, to the core of my bones, that things are very clear for me now and that things can work. I would never try to get close again to a person I know I caused pain if I did not feel love for her
>I would never try to get close again to a person I know I caused pain if I did not feel love for her
That is not correct thinking. People can feel love and harm someone. It's sad but true. It happens all the time. It's not because you love her that you've changed. If it's the argument convincing yourself that everything will be fine then you aren't ready.
You can't.
I beleive you've changed man. I'm in your shoes, and I feel you.
She's the one who decides whether or not to take you back though. Ultimately she won't know immediately either. She has to choose to take a chance with you.
I hope your girl is more forgiving than mine.
Good luck man.
>>17214979
how long has it been - 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years.
If it's anything less than years, you haven't changed, you're just trying to get her to fool herself along with you.
How do I be come more attractive to men? I'm gay but don't currently dress stereotypical gay, the gayest thing I have are thongs but that's more for me than other people. Are guys looking for guys who display confidence, or should I be dressing a certain way? I want someone who doesn't "act" gay and would otherwise be seen as straight. Maybe I'm asking too much, thanks
It's hard to give a definite answer. There's the obvious advice that you should try to be a decent human being but it applies to every relationship and every gender. For your specific case there's no telling what will be the preference of the person you like. You could find someone who matches your preference of not acting gay only to discover that this person does, in fact, feel attraction toward stereotypical gay traits. Perhaps /lgbt/ can answer your question better about the statistical preference of the gay community.
>>17214894
Tighter clothing?
>>17214934
is that something that guys actually look for? I mean I don't see how it makes you look better, if anything i think it makes you look silly
I am Colombian-American. A close non-Colombian male online friend of mine said how he saw a webpage article titled "how dating a Colombian girl allows you to learn about a new cultre". Is he into me?
Ask him if he is into you. Don't be a mind reader.
>>17214874
I asked him if he likes any girls at the moment and he said none
>>17214866
A long time ago, a male friend said "I think you'll be an amazing girlfriend. I mean it's not that I think of you as my girlfriend but that was what I actually think of my "perfect girl" based on my hobbies at the moment. I'm sure perfect girls can be different and my image of what a perfect girl is like will probably change over time."
He was talking about what his perfect girlfriend was like (listing how she should share his hobbies) and I said I don't fit in the category then as I didn't like some of his hobbies.
TL;DR warning
Also to any atheists, I don't give a shit what you have to say so don't waste your time.
I am 24, almost 25 and in this time i have dealt with all kinds of mental and physical struggles. During and in-between times of serious problems, i have been growing more and more skeptical of Gods involvement in my life.
Even when i do get what i prayed for, I get it in such an exhausted lame way that I don't even think God had anything to do with it. I just look at other people/medications to be the real helpers in both physical and mental hardships that I have had.
I have watched heaps of miracle videos of people suddenly being healed from major untreatable problems after it was prayed for and i have seen other videos explaining just how complicated, intelligent and perfect the earth and our own bodies have to be to keep us alive a second longer.
I do know a genius creator has to behind all of this instead of it being a stupid chance all coming from the le big bang theory.
I believe that God is real now, at least a lot more than i used to, but im still full skepticism when it comes to how connected him and I are. I doubt i was ever baptized as a baby and this holy spirit and how that all works confuses me too. I don't truely know whether I'm doing anything correctly so that he and I are able to connect.
What would really help me right now is if someone understands how im feeling and were able to feel more connected with God and end all skepticism they had about whether he was really beside them or not.
(Sorry for all the spelling, grammar errors)
I stopped believing after "risking" myself and my family by seeing what happens if I stop praying for our health. I was very scared that God will be upset with me and serve me punishment. Years afterwards, everyone is healthy and stable as much as it has always been. I never prayed again, and my belief has diminished to 0 on the faith scale.
You realized something, that perhaps what you say and want don't align with reality, and don't delude yourself into thinking you got by some degree everything you wished for - you most probably ignore what you prayed for and didn't get. Perhaps what you get IS by mere chance. and what everyone else around you gets by mere chance. Are starving african children less worthy than a prayer in the US? Don't oppressed and abused muslim women pray for God as well? Think about it. Perhaps a little more belief in yourself and thankfulness is worth more than trying to connect with mere chance.
From what I understand you hold a strong belief in an intelligent creator but you don't hold a strong belief in abrahamic religion. Perhaps you could clear away your confusion by separating these two concepts. They are not necessarily related. You can believe in an intelligent creator without having any strong feeling toward Baptism or the Bible or the Holy Spirit.
belief in god is more of a cultural thing than anything; god is only real if you have been brought up to believe he's real
Probably get this question a lot but how does one get over social anxiety? Such as starting conversations and so on.
You will probably get this answer a lot, but you have to go one step at the time. There is no way to improve without stepping outside of your comfort zone a little bit. For example you can try to challenge yourself to try to start one conversation every day. Positive reinforcement is also very good. For example you can decide to eat your favorite snack food as a reward everytime you achieve your one conversation per day.
>>17214846
Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with; that way you won't be unsure whether you fucked up or not, be polite, be friendly, Hell! Make it obvious you're uneasy, people will generally adapt to make you feel more comfortable.
Do you smoke weed? Maybe give it a break.
Self-sufficience is a good route as well, it can provide a comfort zone and give a confidence boost.
Apathy is another route, ie. Give up worrying about other people. I know sometimes it felt like too many people's unspoken feelings and thoughts were buzzing in my head, "did they mean something else", "should I not of done that?", "What if they want something from me?". Fuck it! Who cares lol, they'll live, you aren't actually hurting them physically are you? Are you stopping them from doing something? Fuck No! You're a friendly person! You literally, probably wouldn't do that!
And sometimes you might just need a safe, quiet place to ask yourself a few questions. I talk to myself all the time, used to do it a lot more. Why? I trust me. It can help sort out some of the things you're a little unsure about and you never have to worry about the implications of opening up. Just try to make sure no one can hear you lol, and if they do, just tell them you were muttering or something, or just talking to anyone who was listening or just exclaiming. Also, you don't have to answer yourself with words. The answers should be in your own brain already, you just have to listen.
>>17214846
Oh, didn't read the question properly
Ask people questions and let them talk. Throw in your opinion and try to let the conversation flow.
The hardest part is going to be topics, thats is: Starting the conversation. An easy one is probably "Anything you like to talk about?" Or make a comment or question about what someone else is doing or mention something you saw or did recently, even if it seems menial or unimportant at the time. Once you open up, the sooner they open up and once they start talking the hard part is over.
Try to relate things mentioned recently with opinions or things you did or saw. If you forget what you were going to say and it gets awkward, admit it and appear mildly disappointed in yourself about it, maybe even nervously laugh. "Aww... that reminded me of something but now I forgot what it was"
Try to stand up straight and don't overraise your shoulders, it makes people look smaller and less confident than they are.
Previous thread got archived by accident, kind of felt bad considering whoever I was talking to never got a chance to reply. So anon, hopefully you see this and if you had something more to add, I'll be here. I'll use the same image as last time.
>>17208757
Hey dude, I'm guessing you're referring to me. I replied, but perhaps you mean someone else. I'm the anon who wrote that I appreciated the thread and could relate to the alienation aspect.
>>17214996
Yeah that's you, I saw your larger post and wrote another one back. Didn't know if you got a chance to read it/say something before the thread died.
>>17214808
>>17214996
Ah, found your reply. Thanks for that.
Your words are pretty much the same advice as I would've given any swinging dick. I know all this, and I'm not really miserable, to tell the truth. The thing is, I'm too familiar and content with being in stagnation. It's been going on for so long, it's become almost a defining characteristic.
It's like I'm waiting for everything to hit the fan, before I begin to really build my life up again, but it never does. The fan doesn't exist. Perhaps I just got some weird guilt from being born in one of the most prosperous nations on Earth, and i know that no matter how much dept I get into, I won't get locked away. I've gotten apathetic about my whole situation, like there's nothing to fight for. At the same time I know there is, precisely because of what you were writing in the previous thread. It's my time on Earth. It's the choice not to look back forty years from now with regret.
The funny thing is that I've been preoccupied with 'positive thinking' for many years, but instead of reaching for greatness, I'm comfortably numb with sitting in acceptance, and I don't neccesarily see anything wrong with it, and I often describe it as being Zen. Reaching for greatness is another way of saying 'wanting more', which I think is rooted in a capitalist delusion. I really just want to make art and be left alone, and I fucking hate that money is a thing, even though I know it can be a powerful tool. I guess I'm just conflicted about making money from my art, and just haven't realised it yet, since I've been selling my paintings for 13 some years. Creating works of art that people liked was always too easy for me, and I was uncomfortable with praise.
Pic related, it's the type of painting I used to make 9 years ago, when I still wanted people to want to buy my shit
How do I, the whitest motherfucker on the planet, go about being curious to date a black girl, without fucking it up?
Man the fuck up.
No, seriously m8. It depends on the girl. The stereotype is that they love a strong man that don't take shit and doesn't get upset at banter. So you can either run with that or whatever else your gut is telling you.
>>17214791
How the fuck does it differ?
Cut out that racist thinking
>>17214791
I suggest smearing yourself in charcoal, dys-learning English, and wearing your pants below your boxers in order to embrace your new identity.
What are some good signs that your fuck buddy is catching feelings for you?
Being human
>>17214733
Elaborate
>>17214730
>17214589
hmmmmmmmmmm
I've only ever been able to develop unrequited crushes on people, I want to have a relationship with someone I have an emotional connection with but all the people I go on dates with I can't seem to develop feelings for
Female/24 btw
Advice?
Keep searching.
But seriously, what drew you in to the unrequited love?
Is there major differences between others you have been on dates with?
Wait so you can't feel shit for people or what?
>>17214712
I just said I've only had feelings for people who didn't want to date me
Hi /adv/ Femanon here
My bf and I enjoy having a lot of sex, he gets so turned on whenever he sees that my vagina gets creamy.
Sometimes it gets and sometimes not.
We don't know why.
What should we do to make it creamy more often?
Get aroused more. Mine's get cent when I'm really horny.
>>17214662
Creamy, not cent
Bad auto correct.
yuck! thats gross! its probably other guys semen!