I've been dating a guy for 2 years now. We are very close and I feel really lost when I'm without him. However, in the first year of our relationship, he was really critical of little things. At first this didn't bother me much because sometimes he was helpful, but most of it just came off as rude, and it was happening more and more. Things like "What the hell are you doing" because I was breaking down cardboard boxes "the wrong way," etc. After the year marker we got engaged. These were happy times. I still don't know if I'll ever connect with anyone else the way I connect with him when we're both happy. He's like my other half. But his narcissism and anger have escalated. At this point we live together/alone with our pets. He is never cruel to them. But I'm a different story. We got into a moral argument one night. I said that I would step up to a fight with a larger human being if that person was beating a child, even if I knew I would lose. He said this was stupid because he cared more about me than the kid and he just needed me to promise I would never risk my life like that. I told him I couldn't change my moral compass and I couldn't make that promise. He said he couldn't imagine ever losing me. Then he pushed me into our room and when I tried to leave he blocked my way. He said I was going to sit down and listen to him. He yelled at me some more and started smashing my hair straightener in front of me. I begged to leave and he refused. I stayed in the room and cried while he sat in the living room. He would tell every now and then to tell me to shut up if I got too loud. Finally he came in there and picked me up and tried to drag me out. I grabbed the wall so he pushed me into it. It collided hard with my eyebrow so I had a bruise for awhile. After he got me out he made me sit with him and be quiet. I fell asleep there. The next morning he was waking me up frantically. He was saying he was sorry, he didn't know what came over him.
He had an icepack on my head and he said he didn't realize I had been hurt. He'd cleaned everything up. That was the worst thing that had ever happened between the two of us. Everything has, for the most part, been fine since then. Life has been good. He got promoted at his job. We got a new apartment.
This morning I had set an alarm for 9:30. He had asked me to make sure we got up because we have housework to do. But it's nothing on a deadline. I woke up at 9:20 and, still tired and knowing the alarm would go off, I reset it for 10. He woke up at 9:45 and immediately started degrading me and questioning why I never listen to him. I apologized and said we could wake up now. He agreed but didn't get up and when I closed my eyes again he yelled at me. So I got up and I went downstairs and let the dog out, came back up to see what he was doing, and he was sleeping. I went to wake him up and now he's saying his stomach hurts. I told him it must not have been hurting too much to insult me earlier. He ignored me and rolled over.
Now I'm just sitting here alone wondering if this relationship is worth it. I feel truly neglected and unloved. But considering how good the good times are and how much time we've invested, I want to give him a chance to make me feel loved again. But I don't know how to make him realize he needs to try to do that because everything I say I don't feel good about the relationship he acts defensive like I'm attacking him for the past. I really just want a better future. What should I do?
>>17218923
He has unresolved issues- and it looks like you triggered his psychotic episode.
He doesn't want to lose you, but the way he acted was extremely ridiculous.
I'd recommend seeing a therapist together if you value your relationship.
His behavior will escalate if you don't confront him or leave.
Sometimes people lose it, sometimes they're controlling pricks.
>>17218929
Also, are there any other stressors in his life? People tend to lose it when they're under a lot of stress.
The nitpicking will happen eventually in every relationship- just gotta make it clear that it bothers you and he'll stop.
I was seeing a girl for a couple months. She broke it off last week. It was on good terms, obviously I wasn't happy with it but I accepted it and began to move on with my life.
We have mutual friends, so we ended up going to the same party a couple nights ago. Everything was fine between us. We talked plenty and had a good time and it was normal. No hard feelings. Until she hooked up with one of my friends.
Am I wrong to be mad about this? I personally think that a week is way too short a time to be hooking up with other dudes, but the main issue is that it was with one of my friends while I was there after such a short period of time.
The guy has apologised profusely, definitely seems to really regret doing it. The girl hasn't said a thing to me as of now. In my opinion, she needs to say something. Should I approach her or just let her do her thing?
So yeah, is it okay that I'm not happy with this? And what am I supposed to do now? I'm also probably not over the girl either.
She might have done it to try to hurt you, she might think it's enough time.
If you had feelings for her, it's normal to feel hurt or angry.
Just keep putting it behind you, you can't do anything about it either way.
A great way to see this:
You're lucky and you deserve better than someone who hooks with your friends one week after dumping you.
>>17219321
Yeah I just wish she would say something. I don't even know if I'd respond. I just wanna know how/what she feels about the whole situation. Whether she thinks she's in the wrong or not. Whether she wants to rekindle things. I don't know if she's just giving me space before apologizing.
I mean we're gonna see each other in the future, we have mutual friends, we can't hide from each other.
Mm
My mom gave me this poster for my new apartment..
What does this mean?
She thinks it's pretty, and can't see how someone would disagree with the decision to put it up.
>>17218898
she sees all of your weeb shit like anime and swords and thought you would like it since it's a chinese scroll image poster thing.
She thinks you're gay.
So, I'm passing over to adulthood.
I'm 27 and have lived a pretty good youth imo. I experienced teenage love, had a 16yo girlfriend. Had a cool gang of friends. Traveled abroad and got drunk. I've done some drugs and had some wild nights. I even topped it all of by having a gay experience, because nothing says young and wild like boys love.
Thing is: Every season has its flavor. I feel it is time for me to be a man. I'm to old to have bisexual experineces and teenage girlfriends. That isn't experineces that defines a good period of being a good young man, it is more of a boy thing.
What experiences would please me in this next phase of my life?
The reason I mentioned all the stuff I've done is because that is how I defined my youth. I wouldn't be able to say that I had a good youth if I didn't travel to Amsterdam, or experience teenage love or boys love. So, what I'm wondering about now is what kind of experience I could enjoy as a young man.
Any suggestions?
Find a Yogini and experiment with tantric sex, and then spend hours upon hours building something with your hands.
>>17218889
I have thought about it a little bit myself.
I guess being young is about exploring things. While being a man is about leading and owning. As a young boy you're about exploring sexuality, experience different types of situations. I mean, really boys love is the apex of adolescant experience, it is an amalgamation of everything essential about youthful identity crisis and intimacy.
I've even looked to Eriksons sosiopsychological model, he says it is a period about productivity and stagnation. I feel I'm stagnating, I've had this marvelous adventurous youth and I just can't pull it off anymore. Back in the day when I was a hairless pretty boy with fuzzy messy hair, me making out with other similar looking boys was just hot mess, a funny summoning of the why-boner. I don't know what is gonna be my thing from here on out. I'm thinking of leading and owning, perhaps getting a mentor role to somebody.
I just don't fucking know, are there no seriously old fags in here who can help? I can't be the oldest guy on 4chan!
>>17218900
For some reason I did wish for lego last christmas. I got it too, and I thought "Grown up gifts are fucking lame, fuck clothes, fuck money in a jar, I am one hundred percent satisfied with this pack of star wars lego, fuck yeah!".
I also do enjoy painting and drawing. I like teaching. I like teaching people kickboxing, but I'd rather learn MMA and teach MMA because it is superior.
But what I don't see, and this is really different from being young. I don't see the demand for future experiences. When I was young it was all very clear to me. I wanted that trip to Amsterdam with friends and drugs, I wanted that teenage girlfriend, young love experience. To some degree I even found being a unpredicatable, flexible enough to all of a sudden to things with a boy, to be exciting and something I just "HAD" to do, before I became an boring old fart sitting in a rocking chair, so that I can sit in my rocking chair and go "Yeah, I'm an old fart now, but man my youth had a good run. I even made out with a boy, we were all so pretty back then.".
What I'm wondering about now is what I should do, so that when I am an old fart sitting in a rocking chair, I will say to myself "I had a great run as a young man, I really did the shit out of that X experience, I know I had a good time as a young man because of that!".
hey, to any of you who've ever fought a speeding ticket or just know law, I'm interested if I can do anything here?
So, I was parked on top of a hill that is about a football field and a half wide, maybe two; and as I pulled out, I rolled down on my 98' accord and about five seconds later, maybe less, I get pulled over. Sirens started blaring about halfway down and than closer to the bottom we stopped.
He said I was going 43 in a 30. I didn't ask him if he could show me it, it seemed weird, but I suppose it's at least possible.
It just seemed incredibly predatory and wrong to just watch me get in my car at the top of the hill, roll down on an incline for a couple seconds (5), and than immediately get a ticket. I just don't think that's reasonable.
To anyone with knowledge of any of this, I'd appreciate it to hear what you think; if I should challenge/have a case or I'm just retarded.
>>17218815
>if I should challenge/have a case or I'm just retarded.
If those are the only two options, I'm afraid I'll have to go with just retarded. You might get a judge to be sympathetic to speeding in some circumstances (I was bleeding out and on my way to the hospital, my speedometer was broken and I've had that confirmed by the mechanic and since had it fixed) but "I just got in my car a few seconds ago and was going down a hill" is almost certainly not one of them.
Were you speeding though?
So you want to contest it, even though you say yourself you don't know how fast you were going? top kek.
Also if you knew he was watching you, why didn't you take more care?
So there is this chinese student that I've become friends with recently. I'm not trying to pursue a long term relationship with her, but I just want to fuck. She does seem to like me. There has been subtle signs.
I need advice on how I take it to that level or close.
She's 22 (i'm 20) and a 7/10. Her english is 7.5/10.
>pic not her
WTF !!
I have the same problem !
>>17218765
It's a sucky situation huh...?
The first problem is actually knowing if getting to the stage is even possible. She's a foreign student. I cant exactly read if she plays those games. And ofc, im not someone who knows how to initiate them.
>>17218762
Guys, if you are in a decent tier nation (Europe, UK or US) you have to realize that people from shit tier nations will jump at the chance to marry you or have your baby because it will mean getting out of their hellhole.
It doesn't mean they love you.
Part three of the sister thing I guess thanks for sticking around guys
Old stuff >>17208077 >>17213248
Is my sister trying to fuck with me?
We're both women the difference being Im 20 and shes 16, usually we sleep in separate rooms but this week my aunt and some of her kids are staying here so my sister is sleeping in my room as theyve taken up hers
For the past three nights she seems to have taken the habit of masturbating furiously right next to me in bed like half an hour after we go to "sleep.' Im clearly not asleep but pretend I am and I dont know how she wouldnt see that. She also moans fucking right next to me and yesterday I nearly screamed as she groped my leg while orgasming but kept pretending not to wake up.
Why is she doing this? Shes not a lesbian that I know of and were sisters. How do I stop this?
>>17218740
You guys here again?
Is she still sleeping?
Just wait until she's doing it again and go for it. She'll be so horny she wouldn't dream of saying no and you'll get to live out a wild ass fantasy
I'm in love, I can't have her, If things were different we could be together which makes things worse than her not caring about me. How am I supposed to get over her? Especially if I have to socialise with her?
>>17218730
You allready know what to do anon.
> If things were different we could be together
Yeah well, if things were different i'd be an astronaut
>>17218730
>>17218804
There's always a way to make things different.
Defeat is a choice, the claims of >>/r9k/ be damned. There's always a way.
Being friends with your ex. Do or do not?
Preferably not, may mess up future relationships.
Nine times out of ten I'd say no. Just because it can cause unnecessary drama and strain in your relationship. Also, some girls/guys won't be okay with you still keeping in contact with your ex unless you absolutely have to. It's just usually more work than you think it would be, but I don't know your situation.
Yes...
But we came back together after 1 month of being friends... We talked about what made us break up and forgave each other...
We've been together for 5 years now.
What are the best Pre-Code movies?
PS: /tv/ is full of millenial newfags, that's why I am here.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Precode or early movies in general?
Not precode, but an excellent early movie is Sunrise by F.W. Murnau
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-Code_Hollywood
>>17218729
Early great movies are ok, but Pre-Code ones are especially welcome. I want that feeling of freedom before the Puritans ruined it for all.
>>17218705
Checking right now, thanks!
This is a boring story, so stop reading now if you came for entertainment. I just want a second opinion on this generic question of mine. It's not all that interesting. I'm going to overexplain so anyone who wants to respond can have a full understanding of the situation.
A few days ago I posted a slightly racist rant on this forum, where I talked about how I hated multiculturalism in the US. I gave examples from my own life in the story, identifying myself as a half white half japanese male, 19 yrs old. I talked about the problems racial diversity has caused in my life, and how I felt disadvantaged in dating. I linked statistics from various dating websites and polls to support my claims.
This P.C lady, an attractive white woman, angrily responded to me and told me that Asians aren't disadvantaged. She accused me of not actually being who I said I was in the story. That I was lying to about my race, my age, etcetera. Usually I don't put pictures of myself online, but this bitchy lady was annoying me with her accusations, so I private messaged her a timestamped selfy to prove her wrong.
After I sent her a picture of myself, she took on a nicer tone. She told me she thought I was handsome, and that she didn't understand why I couldn't get a girlfriend. I ranted to her some more about social issues, and one of my points was that asian women are dating white guys, so there's no options for asian men like myself. To that she responded that she and some of her caucasian friends had dated asians in the past. I go on ranting about more social issues. I won't go into the fine details because it will take too long. The last post she sent me included her trying to refute all my points, and then the last sentence she wrote was that she thought I was intelligent and handsome, and that I shouldn't have problems finding a girlfriend.
I was getting sick of reading her bullshit so I stopped responding. Didn't respond again for 3 days
She normally posts on the forums every day, but for 2 days after we had the conversation, she just randomly stopped posting on the forum. 2 days after the conversation we had, she came back on the site and started posting normally. A day after that I was in a bad mood, so I decided to message her and refute all of the positive shit she said to me in her message 3 days ago in a very long, autistic rant. After I messaged her with that rant, she completely disappeared from the forum again. She hasn't posted for 6 days despite usually being a daily poster.
I haven't thought about this very much, but I see 3 likely possibilities
1.She thinks I have a crush on her, and is ghosting to get me to go away without hurting my feelings
2.Me not responding for 3 days pissed her off, so she's reversing the treatment on me
3.She died
What do you think /adv/? Ya, it's a really petty story, and that's why I warned you all at the beginning. I better not see one of you complaining that you want the time you spent reading this story back! I don't talk to many women, so this mysterious disappearance has been on my mind a lot lately.
>>17218657
are you looking to date this mystery girl or why the fuck do you care?
>>17218667
I kind of want to just message her some more. I don't have many people to talk to.
I'm also just really curious and weirded out. Like, she was a regular poster on the site, posting every day, and now she's just disappeared for 6 days after I messaged her.
Pretty much summarizing my situation to make this quick
Pretty much home life is completely toxic
Still have one year left of school before I can go join the military or go to college
What clubs or anythings of the sort can I do that will keep me away from my house as much as possible (would be nice if indoors since Florida + Summer or really any season = No)
Or should I just make more friends and hang out with them to keep away from home as much as possible?
>>17218615
Chilling with some friends is never a bad idea, shit making them never hurts either.
You're 17 I take it? Because if you're 18 you don't need permission to join the Military and they'll take care of you if you're fit to serve.
Do you have a job? Making and being away from home in your case would help.
>>17218624
>Chilling with some friends is never a bad idea, shit making them never hurts either.
Well Like I said home life is completely toxic and this is not a new occurrence and this spilled into other parts of life
Only have like 1 maybe 2 people I can hang with, so unless I meet someone else or something while hanging with my friend won't really work right now
Gonna have to go out of my way to make friends during my last year I guess, good thing i'm smart, I can probably make friends through tutoring people or something
> don't need permission to join the Military and they'll take care of you if you're fit to serve.
Thedream.jpg
>Do you have a job? Making and being away from home in your case would help.
Nope
Effi on this desu man
But fuck it if It means being away from this shit then fuck yeah, I have literally been spending all my free time on my computer lately so this might help.
>>17218648
> get job
> do something you can semi-like
> get paid
> not at home
> keep money away from family
Shit, after a little shifts you might even be able to put yourself up in a motel or something to stay away if it's gettin' bad at home.
Hi /adv/ , if I don't feel chemistry with a girl right off the bat, should I discontinue seeing her?
So I've seen this other chick about 5 times now, and as much as she's incredibly hot, we don't really seem to have that "chemistry". She's pretty timid because she has an over protective mother (she's 16), and I don't exactly feel enthusiastic to meet up with her again. I'm going to see her again this Sunday. If I don't feel that spark, should I just drop her? Will chemistry come anytime soon?
On the other hand, I met up with a girl I barely knew in high school last night, and we hung out from like 8 PM - 1 AM and it was lots of fun. We had some drinks at the park, went to an arcade, we had really good conversation flow, in general she was lots of fun to be around. Although, apparently she fell into a depression a few months ago and for the most part has no hobbies or interests rn. She also used to have a thing for a close friend of mine about a year ago. They went to prom together, and they were drunk at an after party and the only thing he remembers is fingering her. So he doesn't remember if he fucked her. Also I'm not sure if she still has a thing for my friend.
To sum up all of my questions.
1. Should I drop girl with no chemistry? (desu everything feels kind of forced, even the flirting. cringe.)
2. Is girl w/ depression red flag?
3. Am I cuck if I want to continue seeing this girl because of the possibility of her having fucked and still having a thing for my close friend?
If you want to get rid of her just do it. In fact maybe you could do her a favor by formally setting her up with your friend. That would leave you open to play the field without interference with either.
Get drunk and have sex a bunch then dump her
Depressed girls are the easiest
>>17218607
I'd be down, but my friend doesn't have any time to date rn, plus he's cool w me fucking around w depressed chick. So I guess I'll just drop her after this Sunday.
>>17218609
I would also be down. But. I think I might be in the beginning stages of actually liking this girl?
How do I get people to take me seriously as an autistic person?
I always get the nagging feeling that I'm being treated like a child, especially within my family. It's not straight disrespect or condescension, and I'm willing to entertain the notion that it's just babying because I'm comparatively young and have sort of been the darling for a long time, but I just can't shake this weird vibe. I feel like I'm not always entirely filled-in on things, and as though people in general just recognize that I'm different and treat me differently because of it. I can be an amazing student, aid adults with very adult endeavors, be the single thread that keeps an entire household afloat, help raise children, stare death in the face and carry it on my shoulders, help bring in money, save lives, human and otherwise, face people's dragons with them and help them slay them, be recognized as a fucking genius, and be self-sufficient before I even graduate high school, and it STILL feels like, on some level, I'm not ever going to be treated like a full-fledged adult because I prefer cartoons and Sour Patch Kids over Mad Men and beer.
>>17218572
(CONT)
It's not like I can hide it, either. It comes out in my voice and in the way I move, and I experience the world so fundamentally differently that it's just going to bleed through, one way or another. I know I mature and grow slowly and that I arrive at a lot of things very late. I know I'm naturally very clumsy, and I work very hard to change that about myself because I despise weakness. And I am admittedly childish enough in my interests and mannerisms that very young children tend to treat me as a peer rather than as an adult, but I feel like being all tryhard about being grown-up would be palpably fake of me and no fun, and I feel like being able to relate with kids horizontally is a virtue of mine that I wouldn't want to lose.
Sometimes I even feel like my accomplishments only make it worse. People are entirely willing to that I'm capable of a lot of things, but I feel like that doesn't translate into them caring about my actual perspective on things. I'm valid in a purely utilitarian sense, but my ability in that regard just seems to translate into my outlook being seen as even more alien and thus not taken as seriously.
Sorry for the blog post. I wouldn't really want to broach the topic with anybody IRL, anyway. I just want people to treat me like the sum of my actions and not according to some shallow measure of adulthood or personhood.
Just live ur life bro
It's not what other people do it's what you do and you have to be comfortable in it, and if you are that's the only thing in life that matters
>>17218590
I'm entirely comfortable with who I am, though. I'm a fucking badass. This isn't about my self-esteem. I want my perspective to be taken seriously because I think it would enable me to better help others, and example isn't always enough. I can help fix social and interpersonal problems as well as I can help fix anything else. I really do understand people as well as I understand academic subjects.
My grandparents have been the people my family have looked to for help and advice for decades, and they're on their way out at a time when we're faced with some of our worst problems yet. As conceited as this might sound, I know it's my destiny to be as much of a leader and a patriarch as my granddad is and to hold all this shit together like he did, and I can't fucking do that if people think I'm just a very talented special-needs baby. I want a place in the conversation, not just doing people's homework for them.
Hello /adv/. I already posted a little bit of the story on the get it off your chest thread but this is getting out of hand and I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do or feel in this type of things.
Around two months ago I broke up with my first gf, we only lasted for about 3 months because she wasn't in love with me and both of us felt like it was a waste of time being together as we started arguing a lot. Before the break up I promised her I would go to the prom party even though I didn't want to; since I paid for it I went anyways when we broke up. The day after the prom she texted me asking how was I doing after the break up (it had been a month since then). She told me that she had really not been in love since the beginning, which hurt to hear because she totally acted like she was and she had long term plans that you usually wouldn't have with someone you wouldn't be with in a long term relationship (or so I think).
A month later (this month) I thought I had finally moved on and then a friend told me that in the party, just when I left, she started dating one of my "friends" that told me that she was pretty crazy and that she wasn't worth any time among other things when we broke up. Not only it seemed hypocritical from his part but it also hurt me how she started dating a guy who she never talked to and going so easily with him.
The fact that she had quite some hook ups before and how she suddenly "fell in love" with me so quickly after ending another hook up should have been a small red flag but I was dumb and went for it anyways thinking it was going to be a long term relationship. To top it off today I dreamed again with her, this time was about having sex and about how happy we were together again even though I just wan't to move on.
Do I have a right to be angry? After so much time I should have been able to brush it off and move on but I feel like I have been backstabbed and lied somehow. Is it normal to be still mad at the situation?
I feel like a huge crybaby so feel free to give any kind of feedback if it's helpful or ask anything. I just want to move on nut I need help because I don't know what to do after all this.
Find another pussy and stop being a bitch
You won't give a shit as soon as you kiss another girl
This was your first girlfriend. Naturally you're going to be invested in the idea of the relationship, and disappointed when it ends. Have you been in any other relationships afterwards? I think the best thing to do in this situation would be to be with as many girls as you can, to familiarize yourself with the idea that there are many fish in the sea.