Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5174. page

Please, objectively define "normal."

>>17220494
Like the majority of the population

It's neither okay nor not okay. It's a state of being defined by others. The important question isn't whether it makes you inferior, it's whether you feel inferior because of your lack of normality. If not, there isn't a problem. If so, you should either get over that inferiority or give in.

Really depends on the therapists. I had an experience as a kid and she told me and my parents my nightmares were caused by 9/11...we went home never went back and I grew the fck up and got over it.

My wife on the other hand has emotion control problems (previously) and went to talk to one and she said it worked amazing for her just to be able to talk to someone like that.

A lot of people just treat therapy as a way to just vent at someone for 45 minutes before going home and changing nothing about themselves.

>but i learned so much about myself!
Congratulations, how have you used that newfound knowledge?
>well I, uhh...

So basically OP, can you do the work? Because all therapy can give you is the tools, but you still need to do the work. If your therapist asks you to change your routine, can you do that? If they ask you to change the way you deal with your anxiety, can you do that? Because if you can't, you might as well save yourself the money.

It can really go both ways and I'd say it depends heavily on your relationship with your therapist.

I've only had one therapist my entire life (for 5 years) so I don't have much experience there, but I can tell you that even if you find therapy helpful it will take time until you start seeing major improvements over whatever you're trying to overcome.

I mean it depends on how down you feel, not to mention that it's always good to have someone who you can vent to and provides you feedback, but don't expect results within the first few months of your relationship.
But then again that might not be the case, it really depends, I'm just basing that on my experience.

Meds can help but it's basically an aid because it only fights off the symptoms and not what provokes them, so if you stop taking them everything goes down the drain.

You could join the army and get a degree later or you could study and join the Officer Training Corps.

To me it seems like you're probably won't be too dedicated to studying a degree, but at the same time you haven't experience life in the military yet so . There's more out there than just degrees, and you can always go to university later in life. So don't let your parents force you to go to university, but at the same time realise you might end up not wanting to dedicate yourself to the military.

>>17220418
If you want to join army than do it. In the worst case scenario you will drop from army after the first N years.

>prepare myself for service
Army is all about endurance. Both mental and psychical.
But you should check yourself the concrete requirements and or entry tests and see for yourself if you can pass them.

Do it OP, don't let other hinder your dreams!

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Ex-Army Medic

Got accepted into an awesome college but couldn't afford it and my parents said they wouldn't pay. Fine no issue. I left for boot a month after I graduated. One of the best decisions of my life.

Your life is your own. Do what makes YOU happy. And make sure you pick a MOS/job in the army that you can see yourself doing for a few years. Hold out until a slot opens if you have to.

The only prep I would say run. RUN A LOT. Get good at running. Pushups/Situps are easy to increase/max and boot does a good job at getting you there. Running takes more time. As long as you go in with the right mindset that's really the only prep I can recommend. The rest is just additude.

Funny thing is, after my parents found out I was talking with a recruiter MAGIC COLLEGE MONEY came from someones ass but at that point I had decided to get on with my life.

>>17220346

Why is the Food Scientist position better for your career than the less interesting work?

I think the first choice. Save money and you can buy home/car and vacation elsewhere. I live in an area where rent is high, I wouldn't like to spend a large of paycheck just to live. I'd like to do other things.
Also job security is important.

>>17220363

"it's in the bakery side of the industry which I'm not very interested in". The Nutrition Scientist position is more research based and just interests me more than baking science.

"The Food Science position is undoubtedly better for my career as it's more hands on and involves commercialization of new product" - this is a highly desired and important aspect of R&D positions in the food manufacturing industry.

Where have you applied?

>>17220306
Mostly stores and restaurants/cafes.

I have very little in the way of experience as I've been fucked over on the 'no experience no job' merry-go-round for a long time..

>>17220312
Have you tried fast food? They're always desperate for staff

>>17220261
That "masculine spark" is just confidence. Read "How To Win Friends And Influence People", it will massively change your thinking. Besides that, just work on improving yourself. Stop watching porn (if you do), eat healthy and work out, work on interacting with people, get some hobbies, etc.

>>17220273
I can't not watch porn. It's the only thing keeping be sane. It's what I look forward to. I guess I could stop if something else could fill the spot.

I also don't understand how it's possible for me to be this age and not have had a romantic experience.. I was even avoiding it. It just never happened.

>>17220248
It's possible to go to college and be successful with extreme executive dysfunction: i'm doing it right now (long story, involving narcolepsy, depression, adhd, anxiety, and lots of medication).

But if you don't have any money then you can't afford it. Even in a country with free tuition.

>>17220410
How exactly did you cope with your problems?
I live in a country with free and good colleges, so paying for the college itself is not an issue.

>>17220703
>How exactly did you cope with your problems?
Being smart, tons of pills, writing everything down, and generally working like a maniac (all day and all night). No free time, ever, and no breaks, no vidya, no nothing. Just work.

Most people also rely massively on others (though i don't, i don't have anyone to ask for help and simply rely on myself: been doing this since i was a little kid so im used to it).

>paying for the college itself is not an issue.
If you can't pay for basic necessities like medical care, where are you going to live? What are you going to eat? How are you going to buy textbooks? etc?

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>>17220241
Problem is this

Since I was 14 allI have done is smoke pot,play videogames, and jerk off to porn. From 14-28 that was all I did. I wasn't employed, I had zero friends, and, ready for it? I lived in my mothers unfinished basement. I also had no father figure growing up.

Two years ago I got a decent job making 15 bucks an hour and finally got a place of my own. I lost over 100 pounds, made friends, was literally the alpha of the group. Yeah, this loser right here was the popular kid of the popular kids. I eventually started hating them all, not sure why, and pushed everyone away. I don't even make eye contact with these people at work anymore I just walk on by.

I hate them. Or I just hate myself so fucking much I only think I hate them. Which is probably more accurate.

So I've spent the past year spiraling into severe depression. The past two months have been almost unbearable. I want to cry all the time, I sleep all the time, and I genuinely want to get off this ride a la blowing my brains out. I'm not sure if the super depression is since I just hit 30 and I'm a fucking loser or becasue I also recently stopped wankingto porn, smoking pot, and playing vidya. I can't deal with this too much longer. I'm back in my mom's and I can see the dissapointement in her eyes.

I don't know what to do. I mean, I want to end it, but it would destroy my family. I won't kill myself for that reason, really I won't, but holy fucking shit I want to die.

Halp.

/crazyrant

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Oh, also a virgin.

So, yeah.

How do you have iq of 137 in an age of 30 and still ask strangers on the internet about your life?
>seriously, dude, do you put your brain in use at work, a smart guy with no degree
>you have 10 out of 10 for self-esteem tho
Idk, try not to get so worked up about social interactions, imagine something calm.

>>17220232
LDR = high risk, lots of effort, low reward.

How many years until you can move together?
Hint: even 1 year is VERY long time to consider.

>>17220269
I can relocate for grad school, but I am currently a sophomore at college
Can it be like this? Tell him to stay platonic, and if none of us found someone else by then, move to the UK?

>>17220278
Moving countries is a big decision to make

>can't do that to someone online
Why the hell not?? It seems like both of you love each other a whole lot!

>>17220221
>>17220234
Love is a strong word for this situation...

>>17220221
This is not a good idea unless you two are able to meet in real world (aka in person).

She will see you most likely as some nice daily distraction and this will end terribly for you in the long run.

Either ensure contact in person, or cut off the "love" part. Otherwise you will end up in LDR (long distance relationship) and it will inevitably fail horribly.

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bump

>>17220214
I live in the same city as my immediate family, Parents have been happily married for 40+ years and my brothers went to the same schools as me. I feel like I don't really know my family either. I have nothing in common with any of my brothers, we never really played together growing up, Talking to all but one of them is always awkward. I've had issues with my identity most of my life plus annoying personality traits that I can trace back to a singular event in the second grade My parents didn't even know what religion I was until last month. They assume they know me, but it's not from having watched my actions or having spoken to me all my life. I see them all once a fortnight or so, so it's not like we never see one another.

Point I'm trying to make is that having family around you while growing up isn't a guarantee that your life wouldn't be just as fucked up as it is now. Maybe you'd be even more fucked up if they were around. You might even be dead.

So yeah.. make the most of what you have now and use it to make a better future for yourself.

>>17220279
Hey thanks for the reply,

Yes things could definitely be worse. I've learned to accept my situation, but I'm really concerned with the behaviors that I've developed as a result of my past. I had to heavily change my behavior. I compulsively put other's needs and desires ahead of my own. I feel like I'm neet because I can't break free from the programming I received at the group home.

Anon, I can relate to having similar motive, maybe people expect a dream to be something achievable and concrete.
A huge task that you can check off.

That's a lot more noble of a goal than what most people have. Ask yourself though

>why is that my goal
>what will I do with this goal/use it for

>>17220165
I wish I really knew my dream. I'm insecure even of my college carrer choice. When did you get to know this was your dream?

>>17220118
Shut up aspie

>>17220118
Well why the fuck are you working at the zoo then? Whats next? Shooting gorillas?

>>17220135
>This actually sounds more fun than my job right now

Guys how do I get a job shooting gorillas

>>17220124
no u

Question is, how do you have 8 hours a day to dedicate to learning chong. Do you not do anything?

>>17220399
He might have just broke up for summer or something. I'm breaking up soon and have 11 weeks of and would love to at east try to learn a language

I started a few weeks ago with HSK 1 over memrise and a phrasebook.

It's going well

First step is learning the difference between contempt and content

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>>17220057
Here you go bruh, dont worry you are never alone.

>>17220068
Yeah, I realized what I did after posting and felt retarded