Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 516. page

>>18627343
chant Hare Krishna and be happy anon

take to spiritual life

You don't cope with it, you work toward improving yourself.

Also, there is no possible way that you are so undesireable that no one can love you. I've known some real shit people that still manage to find love, if they can do it, you can too.

>>18627366
a 5'2 manlet 4.5 dicklet, I don't think so I a the antithesis of what women want

listen whore, we dont like to be accused for shit we didnt do, no he shouldnt pay for anything because you are a whale and crush things, its not a matter of joking

and talk like a fucking human being instead of a retard

Smokers lmao

>>18627351
What crawled up your ass and died? Are you OP's bf?

Everyone in my life got bed bugs from me. No one believed I had them so I continued living my life, and EVERYONE got them from me. I'm talking hundreds of people. I went viral because of it, and am deciding what foreign country to move to as a result... I was kept off google/news, but my life in the US is ruined... People recognize me in every city I visit. I can't wait to get overseas.

>>18626986
Now I want to nuke the thread.

Why didn't you have a professional rid the problem for you?

>>18626994
No one believed I had them. Lived with other people.

Have sex with me?

(Assuming you at least look like a girl)

You might need an emotional connection or trust in order to feel pleasure

>>18626899

Not true at all. She just has to get someone who knows what they're doing.

>at least two orgasms for her pre-dicking
>at least one orgasm for her with dicking

After the first orgasm, female body is warmed up like an engine and is very easy to give successive orgasms too. If you know what you're doing. Also helps if you're like me and have a 6.8x5.3 penis with an upwards curve of approximately 40 degrees. But most of my success is tongue and fingers from a hand that is approximately 9 inches in length from tip of middle finger to wrist.

But not saying you little dick bitches can't do it either, but you're gonna have to use more tongue and fingers.

Eat her out doggy style too. This gives you access to pussy and ass and you can hold her legs down so she can't squirm away when she gets excited.

copied from the other thread:

There is this grill who I'm chatting with, a 8/10, and we talk a lot. She has a bf.

She gave me a lot of compliments, said I'm the most intelligent guy she ever knew, she's really pleased by our conversations, she feels challenged and everytime she make me notice those things as soon as she has the chance.

Suddendly, today, she was way more cuddling. She said she was in bed, that she wanted to have milk and biscuits with somebody, I am a little bit reluctant to expose myself because she told me she has a bf. After a while, she got cold, and seemed a bit tired. Definitely the conversation wasn't ongoing anymore. I did not push anything, but I think I like her quite a bit, but I'm stuck: I know that is a sort of rejection to not follow the stream of her emotions, but I can't do differently, because she is sort of engaged.

Really strange thing, I haven't a fucking proof that she has got a bf. She could easily have a rebound bf, or simply could be her imaginary bf that she needs to slow down the interaction with guys and test if they are really interested in her as a person or as a vagina with boobs some inches up there.

Tell me femanons, how do I avoid to make a fool of myself?

>>18626518
Wait, you were in bed with her? And no, girls don't use "I have a boyfriend" as a shittest to see how persistent you are. If she's told you she has a boyfriend, it's so you don't get the wrong idea about where things could go with her.

when I like a girl I often show affection by giving gifts
before I give the gift though I rub it all over my hard cock in hopes it picks up a musk so subtle that subconsciously she thinks of me sexually whenever she is near it, but doesn't know why.

is this a good strategy?

listen to lots of rap and watch reruns of the Jerry Springer show. It will make you cool and learn the skreet lingo you lust for.

>>18626293
I don't want to seem like something I'm not, I just want to be "fun", interesting to talk to...

One person said I was "torture" to talk to because I was too aspie.

>>18626288
Idk anon, if you have certain qualities (charisma, confidence, brilliant intelligence) talking like a robot becomes insignificant. I'm crushing hard on a guy who talks like a cross between a robot and academic professor. He'll, he is even sometimes awkward in social interaction and I can see his robotic side shining through his usually composed but chill demeanour. But I like him so I find it endearing, fascinating and attractive. So maybe you just need to find someone who will feel about you in a similar way.

I should add that I don't find MEN gross, just penis

>>18625802
>talk about how great cock is and how they love to suck dick
I have a really strong feeling that this is bait

Have you ever had experience with a guy? If not, don't worry. How you feel about the idea, let alone the visuals of dick without emotions, isn't representative at all for how you will feel in the heat of the moment. I used to feel the same way as you do now when I was a teenager. It got to the point where I seriously considered whether I'd prefer a man with a vagina. In real life it was not ever an issue, I love to give head and what not.

If you do have experiences and you are also disgusted in real life, I know it's a common cop out but are you sure you're not into women? If so, I don't really have a better suggestion than trying to fake it till you make it. Not necessarily with giving head if that grosses you out too much, but just touching it and being affectionate whenever you can. Expose yourself to it lots in pleasant situations.

>>18625648
Your personality is what will attract them first and foremost. You have to be confident and being funny helps as well. Dick size doesn't even come into play until you start getting sexual and if you are willing to please her in other ways she probably won't mind.

Most women cannot cum from penetrational sex alone, period. So if you're disappointed that your dick will rarely make a girl cum, guess what, even if you had a horse cock this still would be the case.
You dick has the smallest factor in making her cum.

Now, that's not to say penetration doesn't feel good, it's just rarely what gives the orgasm. There is something to say about bigger dicks feeling better, but that's subjective.
Me personally, I hate big dicks because I hate that "filled up" feeling other girls claim to enjoy.


At the end of the day, penis envy and complexes about small dicks are a much larger turn off than your dick itself any day. Once you bang a chick you'll realize your size isn't that big a deal. Virginity makes guys screwy.

A fat friend of mine has a tiny dick and he fucks all the time. Same girls over again sometimes even.

>>18622043
>implying virgins exist

>>18622043

Virginity is worth nothing, mate. Unless you can explain why it's important, you are just chasing an illusion.

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>>18622043
you could try not viewing the bodies and experiences of women as something you're entitled to

>>18619571
It's too late for you just stop

start by learning programming here:
https://painlessprogramming.blogspot.hr/

>>18619632
Stop?

Like kill myself? I already have a plan for that, no joke. I want one final go.

>start by learning programming here:
https://painlessprogramming.blogspot.hr/

There's only five pages here. Where do I go after this?

>>18628641
>Why am I okay with life like this
>I have an anxious voice in the back of my head telling me every day that I could be doing something actually meaningful.

protip: you're not okay with this.

>>18628649
No Anon, if I cared at all, I would put the slightest bit of effort into at least trying to do something else. Right?

>>18628641
What would you actually do if you did care?

>>18628184

How do you know this girl?

>>18628188
College class, never bothered to talk to her. I'm an 19 year old fresh outta highschool to put this into context.

>>18628195

And you don't have any more classes with her?

>>18628026

Why do you open your thread about dating with your job resume/CV?

>>18628030
I think it would be important as well to know something besides unemployed and going to study and if it would be of any use at all in the dating sphere assuming I even got to that point.

>>18628041

You are treating dating like a transaction, man. You are trying to impress us: "I'm currently unemployed, but look at what I did beforehand!!". All your hobbies are things you do alone at home.

Dating is having fun with someone else. Your job doesn't matter. Just start doing shit with people if you want to start dating. Even using an app assumes you can set up a date, right?

Dude, fucking same. When you figure it out, pls post it here.

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>>18627663
>>18627666
Two scenarios:

A. You are extrovert who need socialisation time in order to not go crazy. Then call them. Text them. Periodically ask them if they arent going out. Force yourself into their lives. Or organize the action yourself so you cant be left out.

B. You are whiny bitch nobody likes being with. Improve yourself or realize friends are overrated and get your own gf instead.

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>>18627663
>>18627666
Speaking from personal experience, steer away from (((friend groups))). Just find 1 or 2 ppl to hang out with, who preferably aren't complete fucking normies with interests similar to yours and don't seek attention/validation from other ppl (posting stupid shit on fb or whatever), AND want to socialise with a small group of ppl.

Continued..

She's outside playing with her dogs wearing slightly more clothes than before. Blantantly bending over in shorts that expose way too much cheek and letting her shirt ride up a little too high when she's rolling around in the grass with the dogs.

I don't know if I should immediately tell my wife as I'm sure she'll be apologetic on her belalf and dismiss it OR she might think I'm taking interest in this little bitch. I don't want to confront her because I'm afraid of the backlash if she thinks I'm being pervy by noticing. What do I do? I want a plan to get her out of the house but in a subtle way that makes it look like it was everyone's idea. Help.

>>18627478
She's trying to fuck you. Either kick her out or watch your family crumble

Do you want to put your dick in her OP and is a moment of friction worth your marriage and money?