Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5041. page

File: fp_3.jpg (39KB, 450x270px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 450x270px

Go outside in the sunlight

It happens to us all. Currently wish I could punch my depression in the face because it came back as soon as I was trying to better myself again and make friends.

Do something time-consuming that will take your mind off the bullshit. Drawing or making a fire is what I do, and there's a bunch of small things that you could waste time with. Helps to not think for a bit, clear the mind, and rethink with better thoughts.

Normies are shit. Learn to live by yourself and don't depend on anyone.

Invent something to distract yourself until you die. Maybe you will enjoy some sport, music, anime. Only you can discover what pleases you.

File: 23C3BEB400000578-0-image-a-68_1417775829543.jpg (71KB, 634x423px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 634x423px

Badminton

Miniature golf

Learn to dance salsa. Not only will you gain a valuable life long skill, but you'll meet a lot of girls.

Fuck the above fags.

One, go to the gym. Build muscle. It feels good and it looks good. No reason not to.

Two, choose an art. Drawing, sculpting, painting, poetry. Anything.

Body and mind. That's the end goal.
Go the gym, come home and cook yourself a good meal, then do something artistic.

A man who does that is complete.

File: Manglish-Slumber.png (35KB, 600x700px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 600x700px

Slowly back out of her life.

>>17262981
Well yeah that's easy. I could just leave it where it's at and probably never hear from her again (since if I don't try to be friends I'll come off as some douchebag that just wanted to fuck hers (which I've done to other girls but didn't want to do to her)), but I feel like if I do want to be friends or work something out of it in a long game style, I need to say something now.

So IF I wanted to distance myself while preserving some kind of emotional connection, what should I do?

File: anigif_enhanced-12823-1406824930-15.gif (2MB, 540x305px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 540x305px

>>17262993
Slowly backing out is the best way to preserve any connection.

>>17262897
You're probably comparing yourself to other people too much

>>17262899
Yea, I tend to do that. I feel that if I'm not the same as them and feel like life is passing me by. Is this a rational thought?

>>17262908
A lot of us feel the same way, believe me.

I always compare myself to others and if I feel inadequate, I get pretty down.

It's probably because when we were younger, we were told that we could be anything we wanted to and that we were special. But we really aren't. There are a couple billion people in the world, comparatively there will always be someone better than you.

There will always be someone who is smarter, better educated, better looking, richer and happier than you. Always.

Come to terms with that fact. And at the very least, there is YOU. You are the only YOU and your life revolves around you. Just do what you want, and ignore everyone else because really, your life is about you and not the other couple billion people who feel the same way.


I'm going to drop social media though to develop deeper and more personal relationships. I feel as though social media is a big "look how great I am" game that annoys the fuck out of me. Or maybe I'm just jaded.

got anything with plum in it? that works wonders. also going for a jog might help

File: 1462345060199.jpg (41KB, 351x359px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 351x359px

>>17262895
http://www.youthhealthmag.com/articles/1875/20141106/homemade-laxative-remedies-so-you-dont-have-to-run-to-the-store.htm

>>17262903
youre a hero man

Probably just a bit bisexual. No big deal.

>>17262797

i hate to sound tumblry, but human sexuality is rather complex. anyone who spends enough time looking at porn will find them exploring weirder and weirder things.

you may be gay. you may be bi. you may just be really close to your friend. you may be gay for him. you may be wanting to feel closer to him, but cannot understand how that is possible without sex (because anything more than a hug is now gay).

its hard to say without knowing your sexual history or any other thoughts you've had, but if i had to guess a lot of the people in your situation are 95% straight, and when they want to feel clsoer to another man it surfaces sexually in their subconscious.

you gotta remember if oyu were a cave person back in some BC year it wouldnt matter. like at all. no one judged you. no one cared. youd fuck women to get them pregnant. you'd kill some sort of animal with your best bro, then in the evening you'd wrestle around for fun (cuz thats how young people tend to show affection for each other) and then if you got a boner you'd probably just dry hump him.

it would make you guys feel clsoer and bond you in ways that helped throughout the rest of your short cave person life.

or oyu might be gay. tell us more.

>>17262797
Look we live in a weird age where homosexuality is pretty accepted, but still taboo. If you want a gay experience, try getting involved with the community. Don't worry yourself too much about having gay thoughts. Nothing wrong with it.

Adapt. It's what people do best.

>>17262790
Developed skillsets independantly. Don't have to go to school to learn.

Your problem is finding motivation to start

>>17262790
One path is "I can't" and the other path is "I don't want."

Guess you're going down the "I don't want" path.

>>17262780
Thought this was going the usual 4chan route. Yes, you were out of line.

You need your own place though, suffocating in an overcrowed is no good.

>24 years old man child kicks his little sister

Behave dude, that sounds unappropriated. This is one of those moments were a sorry would fit.

>>17262780
>she didn't go flying or anything (she could have if I wanted to)

Thanks for clarifying that, I was wondering whether a 23 year old man could beat up a 14 year old girl.

Prettty much.

When a girl gets in contact with a high-value guy, she doesn't beat around the bush or play games because she knows he has pick of the litter.

Yeah, move on.

Worst thing you can do is waste time on a girl who doesn't see you in the same way.

Oh. Okay...
Thanks.

>>17262740
Human nature.
It's easy.
People get bored.
Lack of attention from their partner.
Want any more justifications to validate you? It's all garbage. People are garbage.
If you find a good one, never let them go.

>>17262751
>Want any more justifications to validate you?

What do you mean by this?

>>17262740

>Why do people cheat?

People cheat in their teens/early 20's because they're stupid kids with no concept of impulse control or dedication.

People cheat later in life because they suffer from an untold variety of psychological and emotional disturbances that, for the most part are so benign and ingrained in everyday culture that they typically aren't even considered disorders.

Fear of intimacy is an accepted part of modern society so a lot of people can go their entire adult lives never knowing how to fully commit to one person and in many situations its even encouraged.

Human beings are messy, complicated creatures and no amount of pondering will change the fact that people do a lot of fucked up things for a lot of reasons. Don't try to quantify it into any sort of logical conclusion because it won't work and its pointless.

>Is cheating something that happens to everyone/everyone does at some point?

No.

>>17262730

if it sjust about the alcohol then why not just quit drinking alcohol?

>>17262738
in the process. I went to the doctor a few days ago and told him about the medical issues I'm having from some things in the past and I also told him while trying to quit or cut down drinking I'm unable to sleep and I get kind of shaky. This stuff was his solution. tonight I'm just going to flat out not drink without taking the new stuff but i work 12 hour shifts selling cars so this not sleeping shit needs to stop.

>>17262753

selling cars doesnt sound too exhausting. dont get me wrong you need your sleep, but lets not pretend its physically taxing.

i feel ya though. have you tried melatonin?

sounds like you arent telling us something. you are nervous to do something that this generation is famous for.

if oyu want to talk just add them on facebook, say 'hey how ya been?' catch up a little bit then suggest you hang out. throw a party and invite them, or just meet up to catch up.

but the way you are talking and comparing this to a divorce with a father abandoning his children makes me think you were an asshole on the way out.

so maybe start by apologizing if you were.

tell us the story? in one paragraph or less please.

>>17262750
I have depression and anxiety issues, and towards the end of last summer, I was having severe difficulties in dealing with it. By the time school began, I soon realized that I couldn't handle being in school in the midst of what was going on, and stopped going after the first few days without warning and never returned (leaving my contact with friends through social media as well). I have gotten treatment since then and have worked on some issues, but my mental health still fluctuates periodically.

Excuse my poor paraphrasing.

>>17262848

that didnt seem poorly paraphrased at all.

ultimately it sound slike (unless of course you omitted) that you did anything mean. you simply crashed. i have my own issues with that, but assuming you are more or less 'stable' (fluctuating, but not prone to life changing bouts of depression) just add them on facebook and see what happens.

ultimately it doesnt matter what is normal, or polite or a social norm. if you log on and the yall told you to fuck off your life would still be the same as it was an hour ago, they'd forget you again in ten minutes, and that'd be it.

they wont though. worst case scenario you catch up with at least two people via chats.

alocohol

loving

>>17262713
Wrong

>>17262684
Leave her before it gets worse. She's your girlfriend, not your wife. Just leave her and gtfo before it gets more toxic.

>>17262694
I really love her, though. I know for a fact that she loves me as well. I just wish I could express how I feel without her trying to guilt trip me.

>>17262700
>>17262694
Look, I just posted a ton the other day in the thread about borderline personality disorder, so that's all fresh in my mind, but:

She can love you very much and still make the relationship toxic. There are people who compulsively and consistently undermine the relationships they're in because they're paranoid, insecure, mistrustful, or ill, and they do this even to people whom they love.

Ok so I don't know shit about your GF or your relationship except what you've posted, just be aware that this is a thing. If you're becoming depressed and paranoid as a result of her guilt tripping you, that is a sign that this relationship may not be the best one for you.

I really wish I could help you, but the only solution I know is a shitty one.

I used to be in a very similar situation. Worse, even, because my parents straight up gave up at one point and stopped bringing it up, instead opting to show their disappointment in small passive ways. It got unbearable.

So I started faking it. Forcing myself to do this and that, pretending I liked it, and so on.

Fast forward two years and they're no longer ashamed to have me as their son, but I hate every single part of the giant lie I built up.
If you think sacrificing your own happiness for their sake is worth it, you can try it to. I wouldn't recommend it.

>>17262731
It's not like I disagree with my parents. I know that they are right - that I am a lazy sack with no ambitions in life whatsoever. I want to change myself, but I don't know how.

After they get angry at me and I start taking action, they will say that I am faking it, and the truth is I tend to lose the motivation to improve myself a week later.

>>17262777
Well, of course they are right. So were mine. But the thing with motivation and ambition is that getting them isn't as easy as they'd like, and that difficulty is hard to see for someone without the problem.

They say that the initial part of forcing yourself is the hard part, and that you're guaranteed to find something you want to do/achieve if you look hard enough. But I've spent two years forcing myself, while at the same time looking into every single fucking hobby I could think of, and nothing works. It's not even depression, though some people suggested it. I'm perfectly happy when alone, relaxing with a book or browsing the internet. But it's not the sort of happiness, not the sort of life people are expected to have. So it's not enough.

Anyway, the positive in it all is: Once you find a source of income and move out, it really doesn't fucking matter what you do in your free time. But without motivation, you'll need to learn to accept that any given job will be a tedious grind.