Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5008. page

>>17273775
after the baby was born my mother in law has been visiting almost constantly. I have been stepping out and running home to take care of pets, but she has been almost a constant addition to my wife's recovery room. My wife is taking 10 weeks from work, and my mother in law has already taken the entire next week off to help out at home.

She has made it clear she doesn't want to impose, but my wife is instantly assuring that her presence is welcome, even though it is emotionally and physically draining for me, and, if I'm honest, simply annoying.

After my wife's leave my mother in law will be watching the baby 3 days a week. I appreciate the gesture greatly and am happy to concede with my wife on this, but generally believe our family should primarily be our responsibility, and the attachment my mother in law has already developed to the baby is... upsetting to me.

My wife wanted my mother in law in delivery with us. I vetoed that decision and it required counselling between us to get through. The compromise was to tell her mother and allow her in just after delivery. There she was, talking to nurses in a brash way and taking pictures with a super bright flash after a 22 hour delivery. I was so tired from helping my wife get through an impossible delivery (my wife did incredible) I didn't have the energy to really fight that battle. But it hasn't really ended.

Some more of (in my opinion) unhealthy "closeness" is my mother in law sticking around while my wife breast feeds. I have been apart from my wife more after delivery than she has. I feel like my family unit, which I take seriously, has been compromised by outside "help" -- which to me, is more an unnecessary annoyance. She could help by checking on our pets, which I have been doing. Or give breastfeeding advice over the phone.

I'm at a loss..

File: 1403819928942.jpg (321KB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

321KB, 1600x900px

>>17273802
I need a way to set strong boundaries without seriously damaging my relationship with my wife or my mother in law, or her relationship with her mother.. Anyone else gone through this or similar and have any advice?

File: 1404791405445.jpg (479KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

479KB, 1920x1080px

>>17273804
nobody?

>>17273774
Well you are using her, so you don't deserve the blowjobs.

you are literal human garbage and don't deserve friends, let alone blowjobs.

>>17273774
I don't know why I find it so hilarious that so many people on this board pretend to be superior. You attract people who are similar to you, so if you're attracting ugly girls you're probably ugly, too. At least she can get someone else, doesn't sound like you can.

File: 95527714.png (151KB, 1275x1650px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 1275x1650px

Apply to jobs everywhere. Sell your experience to the max. That's sort of impressive, and you can definitely do other jobs. Use actions verbs in previous job descriptions. When another job works out, quit.

>>17273765
Notice the lack of action verbs. I meant while you work the job you are currently at. Posting resumes while working at a job is normal

>>17273746
if you're working over a certain amount of hours despite being considered part time, you need to check certain aspects of your state and make sure you're not getting fucked out of benefits.

Most people that work over a certain amount of hours are considered full time and are supposed to get vacation time and benefits. It sounds to me like they probably know this and are using you.

Like someone else mentioned, start filling out as many applications as possible. Find a place that's within walking distance, if possible, or a place that's close with a bus.

no, it's likely she has similar feelings and while you feel guilt for wanting to end it you will ultimately be doing you both a service before things get really shitty and end terribly, it sounds like you already know the relationship is over so while it may be painful and hard to end it it does not have to be a failure. you can appreciate the 3 years and good times you had for what they are worth and end the relationship without devaluing what you had.

you should probably talk about all of this with her though.

>>17273724
I tried to bring it up last night but she got teary-eyed and started crying at the thought of us not being together anymore. I hadn't even said anything about breaking up, just discussing the future of our relationship.

Not an asshole, but seems like a mistake. Finding a girl that is loyal, brings in money, and you can trust is not easy. I dunno the dating situation in your area, but it seems like its been getting worse and worse everywhere. Love isn't something you're gonna find suddenly and keep forever, its comes more down to still liking and, more then liking, being able to trust that person. Leting go of a relationship with trust built to explore options is a high risk low reward situation in my opinion. Unless you don't see a happy future staying with her that is. Interest and family details aren't as important as you think, yes its good to have things in common, but having your own interests has its benefits as well.

Basically my entire advice is don't break up because you assume you'll get a better relationship with someone who also likes arting. That might not be the case at all, just because they art doesn't mean they don't yell for an hour when you forget to take the trash out.

>>17273712
Read the /fit/ sticky and actually follow the advice listed. Do you mind posting a pic for reference? I'm the same height as you and fluctuate between 105-110 lb and I want to see what someone of your size looks like.

>>17273712
/fit/ will help you, check out the qtddtot threads and read the sticky all the way through at least twice.
Also don't worry so much about what other people will think of you while you're working out, everyone starts somewhere and desu the fitness community (outside of 4chan) is typically very supportive to newcomers, especially if they see that you're actually dedicated to getting healthy.

File: 20160619_224704.jpg (2MB, 3264x1836px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x1836px

>>17273731
Fat af

>>17273748
Alright then thank you

>>17273705
I was on a dating site for about a month in a half. She was one of the first people I checked out. I was afraid to contact her because her profile seemed a bit intimidating. One night I decided what the heck.

I'm happy I overcame by shyness for her.

I never have, Morgan.

Teach me your ways.

>>17273705
Knew my boyfriend since middle school, got together in first year of college. Still going strong 5 years now.

>>17273692
since this "kink" of yours seems to be a big enough driving force that you need to get fucked by someone else to satisfy yourself, tell your bf to manhandle you in bed or break up with him. that fucking simple.

>>17273702
i indulge in instense pain by the way of floggings, canings, electricity etc. it's not something you can force someone to be into let alone take on a top position administering those things. he knows and understands that and says "as long as you come home to me" he is ok with it and wants me to be happy however he is also bad at expressing his true emotions and seems to be down every time i have a session.

hoping for advice/experience from people who are involved in kink and dating vanilla partners/experience in open relationships

Why don't you
>hide your friends list on Facebook
>ignore her messages
>don't invite her to things
>don't introduce her to people

>>17273646
I try not to invite her to things. But she finds out from mutual friends and invites herself along!. Unless I don't hang out with my friends, it seems like there's no way to avoid her finding out about my friends or introducing herself to them.

I will hide my friend's list though. That's a good point.

>>17273656
If your mutual friends know she's going to turn up if they mention going out around her, and yet they don't stop telling her this stuff, then I guess the implication is that they don't mind having her along and that you're the only one with a problem here.

>>17273625

You said you asked her out but she rejected you, but you already been on dates with her.

you need to fuck her man, she probably wants the D already

>>17273625
>we held hands a lot.

Why the fuck didn't you take her home and give her the orgasm she needs ?

Yeah I should've but how do I get her back?

File: 12874912741.png (17KB, 491x453px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 491x453px

>>17273616

>advuh

you fucking autist

>>17273616


the only solution is to accidentally run over his leg with a lawnmower.

>>17273616
You already said it, kick his ass to the curb. Don't let your hard-working mom get abused by this asshole, especially after going through a divorce. Though honestly it's partly your mom's fault for being soft on your brother and not commanding her parental authority over him. If he puts up a fight over getting kicked out, call the cops. Causes more trouble after that? Restraining order. He'll be gone from your life and you two can live more peacefully.

It would mean a lot if I got an answer

Worried about performance at practice as it might affect game time?

>>17273598
are the people u play with assholes? is ur coach a douche? are ppl putting a lot of pressure on u to succeed?

>>17273595
You completely brought it on yourself. Not sure what you thought what end up happening.

>>17273603
/Thread
Learn from this experience OP

You dun goofed. Once you take the bpundaries off, you'll be forever cucked.

Take it as a learning curve and move on. I gather that the reason why she's saying that he loves her more than you do is because he's not going to let her be in an open relationship.

>>17273581
Whats the situation ?

Do you need to man up and have a punch up with someone ?
Has your girl called you a little bitch and told you to "man up" ?

>>17273581
I don't know the situation, but what motivates me is honestly thinking about my own mortality and place in history. No one is going to care 100, or even 50 years from now if I failed or was rejected. In the same way, given that you have around 70 years on this planet at best and then oblivion, why not to everything you can to bring solid happiness and contentment into your life. That likely means doing something hard, letting toxic people go, telling someone how you truly feel (not in an autistic, high school, roundabout way), and work towards making yourself a better, more interesting and whole human being, confident in your ability to choose your actions.
That's what manning up means, doing the hard stuff because you'll be a better person for it.

>>17273581
you don't 'man up', you learn to stand on your own two feet, set up your own morals to live by and live life the way you want to.

Most people will recognize this and admire you for it, but at the end of the day all that matters is how you feel about yourself and the goals you set up for your self.

You don't need to be 'manly' to live a good, fulfilling life. Sorry if that sounds preachy as fuck, but seriously. Stop worrying about being a certain way, because nobody actually cares in the end about that shit. All that matters is you've lived a fulfilling, confident life.

If it's a deal breaker, then yeah break up.

If it's something you don't mind that much, then stay together.

Whatever you do, don't try to change him or make him give up his hobby.

>>17273569
Are you also a dude?
There is something you find fundamentally wrong with his personality so you will either have to break up or accept that he's a freak.

>>17273569
>I initially thought he was a part of a crossdresser group before I researched on lolita fashion.
Wait, so does he wear women's clothing or not?

It would be weird to buy someone a dildo regardless of relations or ages.

That's kind of weird.

is the joke incest?