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Mu significant other was molested when she was young. Sex does nothing for her and I think subconsciously she still sees it as a negative thing. We've had sex, but she never makes any noise, moans, or anything. She just tells me how much she loves me and says that she loves being this close and whatnot. But I want to make her feel good, I want her to feel the way I do when we get to have sex.
Whenever I touch between her legs her legs clench up. I think she used to have sexual flashbacks to being molested, but not anymore.
She won't let me eat her out because "it's gross", she won't let me finger her because sheshe afraid I'm gonna scratch her with my nails, rubbing her clit does nothing for her.
I'm at a loss guys, ive had successful sexual relationships more than half a dozen times, and I just can't wrap my headad around the right approach to this.
Help, I feel useless
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>>17278500
Talk to her more
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Molested kid here. For me sex isn't that great because when I first experienced it, it wasn't sexual (for me). It was a chore. So, now it feels the same. She knows you like it and just tolerates it for that.
Are you recently together? Maybe she'll warm up but, honestly, it's a hard thing to get over. Even if she doesn't get flashbacks anymore, it's just the association isn't positive like it is for most people.
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>>17278551
Jesus, so there's nothing I can do to help? We've been together for few years.
>>17278550
What do I say? She's not the smartest person. I'd say she has an IQ of 115 maximum.
How to deal with a paranoid control freak with a martyr complex?
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by not interacting with him.
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>>17278488
What if it's your mom?
I'm about to move out, but I still have to deal with her for the rest of her/my life. It's my mom, and we have had good relations before.
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>>17278492
you grow up, you set more boundaries, but family is generally tough for life.
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What are things that really impress you about your partner during sex?
It can be their confidence, a particular thing they do, a super secret sex move...anything that makes you pop a boner/clit on at the thought of it.
I'd like to try and build some new skills in the bedroom.
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>>17278472
He licks me out until I can't take it anymore and I have to push him away.
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Disclaimer about preferences being individual and yada yada.
I adored it when my lover was blatant about his sexuality. Especially because he used to be pretty shy about saying stuff on his end, knowing I made him comfortable enough to be open only added to it. He once texted me just to say that he had a dream in which I was naked, he was rock hard when he woke up, and masturbated furiously. It really turned me on especially that he didn't bother saying hi or whatever, just going straight for the sexual stuff knowing it would be relevant to my interests.
One time I looked up to meet his gaze when going down on him and saw him lying back with his eyes closed and mouth a bit open, touching his nipples. One of the hottest memories I have.
Also love being firmly grabbed and pushed around a bit. I especially love having a guy on top of me, pushing a hand down on my stomach, and talking dirty in my ear/licking my neck. Makes me feel all enveloped.
Overall, what impresses me most is confidence (daring to show real arousal, make real noises, say inane shit during dirty talk, make eager eye contact - no porn lines or trying to fuck like a robot because everything else is "awkward"), enthusiasm/passion, and having a feeling for when to make a move. It's really hot when the guy remembers what you respond to and throws it in the mix when he can tell you're worked up, when he knows how to work your soft spots.
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>>17278531
goddamnit ... i haven't had sex with someone I felt to this way about in about a year. every girl just bores me and I stop after 10 minutes and pretend that I have stage fright or something.
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What can you do about a really low sex drive/fucked up libido?
I can basically only get off to drawings at this point. Real women disgust me with their imperfections
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>>17278452
You fell for the rule 34 meme my friend, go on no fap for like a month, go out in public with sunglasses and look at only real girls. you'll get there eventually.
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stop jerking it to drawings.
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Why even bother? Plenty of drawings around.
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When I was around 14 or 15 my cousin lived with me for about a year, he was about 6 years older than me and we used to sell weed together and do odd jobs. One day we were hanging out and we picked up this mixed woman who was extremely hot, super smart and seductive to hang out for the day and she ended up staying at my house. I sensed that she was trying to seduce me and play with my head a little bit, but I was too young for her to actually make any moves. Fast forward to last year, I was 20 and I hit her up on Facebook, we have super chill conversations for a little while and then I let her on to the fact that I thought she was a babe and disclosed some of my sexual exploits. She was interested in the same stuff and one day she picked me up and dominated me and another guy that she used to dom at the same time. Whipping us and all this freaky shit. Now I'm 21 and she's sick of her boyfriend of 5 years because he doesn't give her attention and he's too stiff. He's a financial worker and I guess he's old fashioned and conservative. She's totally progressive and stuff. So I invited her to hang out and maybe sing with my band. She came around and all my friends were like "woah dude, how'd you end up with that?" Even though I'm sexually experienced, it's not very often I pull a solid 10, or a 9 for that matter. She was talking with me and the group about how I'm a shy flirt and that I'm like the kind of guy that girls dump their boyfriends for. Which isn't really too far off, I'm kind of a homewrecker. Anyways, she told me her boyfriend just kissed her for the first time in a year and I flipped out. I asked her why the hell they're even together still. Proceeded to make out with her that night. So now yesterday she popped in for a little while, we gave eachother massages, cuddled and whatnot, she had me suck her nipples. and told me I'm amazing at it unlike others. Should I keep going with this? If I fuck her I'll end up eskimo brothers with my cousin.
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>>17278441
I didn't quit smoking for you to give me cancer. fuck you.
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>>17278458
Underrated post
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>>17278458
Kek
Dying of gastric cancer at 26
How do I die as painlessly as possible?
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how'd you find out?
are you committed to not fighting it?
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>>17278442
Diagnosed. Not committed this is cancer. I'm just afraid of pain. At 26 I have no kids or anything so it won't be like I'm leaving behind work
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drugs and chinese cartoons.
Anonymous
Getting very depressed 2016-06-21 16:16:13 Post No.17278345
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Getting very depressed 2016-06-21 16:16:13 Post No.17278345
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Maybe you guys have some insight.
Over the years I've developed some very severe depression. When I turned 18 and HS was over, I realized I would have to start all over again acquiring friends and a good reputation, and I just gave up because it's so strenuous for me to do. That, plus an existential crisis, made me so depressed that I couldn't go to school, alls I did was lay on the couch, and wait for the weekend to come around so I could do drugs and forget about my pain.
Then I suffered a pretty serious trauma that I couldn't handle, and it pretty much 'broke' me. I went temporarily insane, had a nervous breakdown or something. I delved even deeper into depression, to an extent that I didn't even know (or fucking want to know) was possible.
Finally, thank God, 5 years later, most of that (the trauma and being insane) is behind me, but I'm starting to feel very depressed again. I'm on medication, and work a full-time job, and have hobbies, but I just feel that very familiar hole in my heart. Like somethings missing, something important.
Most of the time I feel like I don't have a soul. I'm just a sack of cells performing functions out of an instinct to survive. I'm not really living life, I'm just existing. I want to kill myself tbqh, but family guilt blah blah blah.
I get down on myself a lot, and I don't think that helps my depression at all. I always make stupid, mundane, but important mistakes on my work. It takes me awhile to catch onto things sometimes too, depending on what it is. I'm going to be running this company one day and just don't feel adequate enough to be successful at it, and I don't want to fail, as long as my Dad is alive at least.
Again, maybe you guys will have some insight as to what I should do with my life, or maybe if I should end it. Living with severe chronic MDD and (now) light PTSD is shit, it's like having brain cancer.
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Your story made me laugh
You sound like you're dumb but aware of it, on top of being mentally unstable
I do not envy you
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>>17278353
Wow, great response faggot.
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>>17278345
Are you in therapy? Sounds like CBT would be right up your alley.
Also it seems like you have a philosophically bent mind. I recommend Stoicism and Epicureanism. It's really important to think about what a "happy" life is and how to achieve that.
http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
http://classics.mit.edu/Epicurus/menoec.html
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How retarded is it if I want to go into college to major in computers despite not knowing a lot in the first place about them?
I really want to learn about them and what makes them "click" but I also fear that the people going in the classes are the "I learned how to make my own computer and learned 409494 programming languages at age 7" will be everywhere and discourage me. I know college is for learning, but maybe I am just screwing myself over.
Any tips?
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Try asking a counselor with your school how much basic knowledge about computers you will need to know for those courses. They'll either know or be able to put you through to a professor or veteran student who can tell you what you'll need to know for the course.
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>>17278335
Counselor said it would be fine, but I cannot find anyone with a computer related degree to give me tips and pointers. I'm a bit anxious, but if I really put the time into it it would be fine, yeah?
When I say not a whole lot, I know a few programming languages and the basic components of a computer, but not how to hack the fucking white house.
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>>17278340
From your post, I thought that you were mostly computer-illiterate.
You will be fine. They'll teach you what you need to know. There's a reason most courses start with an 'Intro to...'
Anonymous
Best trades to learn for decent career progression? 2016-06-21 15:46:30 Post No.17278280
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Best trades to learn for decent career progression? 2016-06-21 15:46:30 Post No.17278280
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Best trades to learn for decent career progression?
Anonymous
2016-06-21 15:46:30
Post No. 17278280
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I live in the UK, fucked my A Levels up, now I guess my only chance is a practical trade because no University will accept me. I don't want to be a failure for the rest of my life.
Which trades are the best to go into? So far I've heard about Plumbing and Electrical work.
I am willing to learn anything that can make me money. I failed school because I got extremely bored with the homework and the constant everyday grinding just to pass tests - we didn't actually learn shit, just the words/definitions and calculations we'd need to do to pass the exams.
I am also considering the military. Is it worth going to the military to learn a trade? I think if I joined the military I would like to have the chance to go abroad, and some trades seem like they don't really deploy, unless i'm wrong.
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I also fucked up my A-Levels, but I did 2 years of college to get good grades and then went on to a top 10 university. I have friends that have gone on to Oxbridge postgrad courses, or lined up jobs at banks etc. You don't have to do that, you can do pretty much anything.
I think you have to know what you want in this country to get anywhere, because otherwise you'll get stuck in the shit.
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>>17278352
Yeah that's a big problem for me. I don't really know what I want. I'm 18 so this is basically my first real year in the 'real world' and everyone seems to know what they want, i'm just wandering around looking for some sort of guidance. Even my parents don't have any useful advice.
The only thing I've been interested in since a young age was the military, so I might just say fuck it and apply as an officer, if I fail to get in as one I will go in as a soldier.
What was your goal in life?
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>>17278356
I don't have a goal beyond material possessions and travel at the moment, I'm not sure what to focus on within my field.
Don't worry, no normal person has a clue. The juniors in the industries are still desperately trying to figure them out (at age 22-25). My parents didn't have a clue either. If you do get an interest or a dream company, pursue it for a while. Otherwise just pick a vague direction and keep figuring it out.
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Question for femanons:
When are friend requests on facebook creepy? A girl I used to text and kinda see has been appearing in the "people you may know" lately and I want to add her, but am not sure if it would be creepy. Things kinda fell apart after she moved away and we haven't spoken in a while.
I've also heard that the people you may know may be based on who's looking at your page, so maybe she hasn't forgotten about me...
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Take my reply with a grain of salt because I'm not the average person that has 500 friends, 400 of them people I don't know, on facebook.
The people I add/confirm are family, friends, work/school friends, and friends of friends that I've had pleasant conversation with. If you used to talk to her a lot before she moved away, I'd say go for it. She may be interested in reconnecting with you. But if you only talked once in a while, refrain because she probably doesn't even remember you.
However, people tend to be more liberal with their friends lists than me. A higher friend count feeds the ego, so she may accept your request just for the +1 friend.
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Facebook is pretty low-risk desu. As long as you just friend request her and don't message, you won't look a fool even if she ignores/rejects your request.
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wtf kinda insecurity is this?
worst thing is she doesnt accepts, blocks you and moves on
holy fuck some of you people are so fucking scared
Okay so I'll try to explain as clear as I can.
You know how sometimes you have those "squiggly lines" that you see in your eye that don't go away?
Well, whenever I look at a bright background (whether it be a monitor, or a blue sky) I can see something similar to that, and I don't know what it is.
If I concentrate on it, I see hundreds of small opaque cell-like things that are constantly moving in different directions, kind of like looking under a microscope. It looks like the quick-moving cells in the background of the gif.
Any idea what this is, or could be? I've never heard anyone talk of anything like it before, and I have always wondered since I've been seeing it for years.
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Those squiggly lines have a name.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floater
If I understand this right you are saying that you see additional things which are similar to floaters, and you know for a fact they aren't floaters but you cannot identify them?
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>>17278254
correct, it's like looking at cells under a microscope. tons of small opaque objects going in all random directions.
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>>17278275
What is it that makes them fundamentally different from floaters? It seems logical to deduct that they must be minor inconsistencies that exist in the vitreous humor of your eyeballs. They could just be floaters that you happen to notice under different conditions.
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so when I'm at school there are faggots who just hate me for no reason whatsoever and are just general jerks to me.
so school is ending and people are bringing in food to give out for parties and so i was thinking should i bring in pic related and give to everyone but them?
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>>17278226
oh man, he'll be so fucking heated that he didn't get one.
but on the serious though you should just put a couple of xanny bars in some, and give them to the bullies, and then while they're looped out, you invite them to a private room, and take picks of your dick in their mouth while they're blacked out.
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Get out. And don't return to this site until you are 18.
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>>17278226
Dude those bullies are going to be SO. FUCKING. PISSED.
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How can one lower his libido or completely give up sex?
I've never been successful with ladies and never will be. So I just want to focus on my work for the rest of my life. Have any advice for giving up sexuality anons?
>Inb4 fap like crazy
No, It doesnt offers a solid solution. What I want is more permament solution.
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>>17278223
cut your balls off
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Why will you never be successful with ladies?
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>>17278227
Ok I'm gonna take the bait.
Cutting of balls reduces testostreone, that means reduced muscle mass/bone mass for the rest of my life + increased risk of osteoporosis.
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How does someone find value in himself ?
That's something I've never been able to do.
I'm a pessimistic, cynical and bitter social mess. I have absolutely zero self-esteem and confidence in myself.
I will be a 3rd year 19 years old student after the summer break, I've been exercizing at home and eating more for a month now, I want to get more in shape, I guess he can't be bad, but I really hope I'll get some little results during those 2 remaining months.
Maybe the only redeeming thing I have is that I love drawing, that's probably the only thing that can be seen as worthy in me.
I have hard times taking compliments, I don't really trust them, and I don't really trust people either.
I've had friends, I actually have people that I can call friends but I rarely see them, no one really gets in touch with me so I don't take them to seriously. I've never really felt close to anyone, like some fixed limit put.
I guess I have to change, to be "brigther" and "more smiling" but fuck that's hard. Trying to put a good face can't last, really.
My problems aren't really important, I feel like some edgy angsty teenager and it makes me feel like a brat.
I thought that getting someone would help me, but how can someone like you when you have issues accepting yourself.
Maybe that the main problem in in my mind rather than physical, I don't really know.
How do I get a more positive attitude and stop hating myself and the whole world ? Would that make me more likeable ?
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selfish bump
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>>17278209
You do something that forces you to see/deal with people.
You probably have little experience with humans so your sample size is bad, this makes it easier to generalize.
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My friend, you're at what you perceive to be rock bottom. If that is true, you can only go up from here. You're MAKING AN EFFORT, damn you, be proud of yourself, even if only for that one thing. You're in a shitty state of mind, and you keep on keeping on. That's the spirit dude(tte). If you love draw, be drawer. If you can't pretend, stick to what you know, and go from there, work on you just like you do. Go someplace different or new for a weekend and just canvas the landscape. At worst, if you can't find beauty in people, you can surely find it and capture it in nature.
Anonymous
How do I cope with what I have done? 2016-06-21 14:47:16 Post No.17278162
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How do I cope with what I have done? 2016-06-21 14:47:16 Post No.17278162
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How do I cope with what I have done?
Anonymous
2016-06-21 14:47:16
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So 2 days ago, when I was almost 2 months without watching porn I visited tumblr (one link sent me there) and there were quite some suggestive and sexually explicit pictures and gifs, and then it struck me. I HAD TO watch some porn and fap, and I did it yesterday too. I feel like shit :(. I was doing soo good for this whole time, and it only took one unfortunate peek at pictures :(. How do I cope with that? I feel like shit, and I will never achieve what I want - to be free from porn.
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Tragic
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Congratulation you just improved your health. Your body would have been forced to discharge that sperm during your sleep and your risk for prostate cancer would have increased by 0.000001%. Buy yourself a slice of cake in celebration.
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>>17278162
I feel you man, but it all boils down to how you're mentally willing to give it up. With me I distracted myself with hobbies ( working out, drawing, vidya, etc.)
I mean yeah it's not like you can get 100% away from it but at a certain point you gotta do some serious self reflection and meditate about what your goal is.