Anonymous
Boyfriend too feminine? 2016-06-26 06:05:07 Post No.17294634
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Boyfriend too feminine? 2016-06-26 06:05:07 Post No.17294634
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So me and the fiance have been together for 6 years now. We started dating as teens and now both almost in our mid 20s. Everything about our relationship is ALMOST perfect. He is sweet, funny, and always thinking of me.
But he is just..so feminine. Its terrible. We even make jokes about how reverse rolled we are. He is passive aggressive, emotional, and indecisive. It makes being sexually attracted to him impossible.
When we first started dating it was great. He was charasmatic, funny, and didnt give two shits about what anyone thought. I found it so hopelessly attractive. Its what made me love him in the first place.
But after a year of bliss his depression worsened and now our sex life is a shell of what it used to be for five years now. No interests, no friends, and a job he CONSTANTLY complains about.
We tried pills and therapy, but he is resistant to stick with either since he also has PTSD and doesnt want to work through terrible childhood events from his past. I keep telling him to go to the doctor to get pills, but he just seems completely disinterested in it? Like he doesnt even want to try. I gave up.
I feel like shit for thinking about my sex life when he is dealing with this, but its hard not too when he asks why we dont have much sex anymore? I dont really know what to tell him. The last thing i want is to hurt his already miniscule ego.
I love being dominated in bed and have kinks of my own, but he is so painfully vanilla now due to his insane list of insecurities, which our no sex life has only made worse. I have done plenty for him but ive gotten no effort in return aside from a "hey wanna fuck??"
When he forces himself to try anything and feigns confidence its so obvious..its almost cringey! Its so awkward!!
I dont know what to do. I have been by his side trying to help this for years, since every other aspect is great, but i dont want to marry someone who wont even try to fix out sex life. I dont want to stop sex in my 20s.
What do?
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>>17294634
End it.
>>
>my feminine boyfriend has PTSD from when he got served a skim latte instead of a soy latte
>cringey
>>
Imperial Arms Pegasu (ID: !!q5d8TG22tuh)
2016-06-26 06:18:49
Post No.17294681
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>>17294634
>I love being dominated in bed
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My boyfriend is mentally ill, and I don't know how to get him to seek help. He has managed it all on his own better than one would expect considering how sick he is, but hes getting worse and I don't know what to do. His parents are no help, he still lives at home and he has managed to hide how sick he is from them, even though they've witnessed some of his... incidences. I think its because as soon as they get home from work they just smoke pot and watch TV, they even were oblivious to fact he was a pretty hardcore alcoholic for 3 years. Hes attempted suicide in the past, and has developed really strange behaviours. Hes obsessed with fidgetting and clicking, pens, small pieces of plastic. He keeps buying art supplies he never uses and buying box cutters, when he listens to music, he replays the same song over and over before switching to a different one, for the past three days its been I took a pill in Ibiza, and I can hear it through his headphones, its really annoying. I don't know what to do for him, because not many people know the side to him I know... all of his coworkers think hes the happiest, most optimistic upbeat guy ever, and for the most part he acts like it around me and his parents and his friends, but I've seen what lies under his happy act... its very dark and depressing, hes broken and sad and I just want to help him, I don't know how to help him, I've contemplated confronting his parents but I think that might make his homelife worse than it is. What do I do?
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>>17294607
>What do I do?
Leave and find a sane guy.
There's just nothing you can do here, really.
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Your boyfriend is a high functioning autistic.
But what do I know, this is 4Chan not a psychiatric hospital. Get him an appointment.
Please videotape your suggestion, though. I kinda want to see him sperg out and count the microseconds it takes you to fold.
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>>17294623
This. You can't change people. I can't even get my girlfriend to lock the front door every time she comes home. You think you can change a mental illness? Never gonna happen.
Anonymous
How do I stop being bitter? 2016-06-26 05:47:40 Post No.17294578
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How do I stop being bitter? 2016-06-26 05:47:40 Post No.17294578
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How do I stop being bitter?
Anonymous
2016-06-26 05:47:40
Post No. 17294578
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I will admit a lot of things in this thread /adv/.. but if I admit them, I am going to need your help to get over them.
I will admit, I am a incredibly bitter person. I am super bitter about how easy it is for women to get dates, have relationships, live life. Sometimes even free of any real suffering. Really bitter. I am 26 and have had zero girlfriends. I talked to a woman aged 24 who I thought seemed meekish and it turns out she has had like 4-5 boyfriends..
I don't mind them having boyfriends in the past, what kills me is that I know I probably can't keep the attention of the female without pity.
I just cannot match up to those other dudes with all the shit.
I am also really bitter about people who are happy. I hate seeing and hearing kids laugh. I hate people who are in their 20's and have kids. It seems like a full retard idea to have a kid in your 20's.
I just want to be free of bitterness. Is there any hope? How do I stop being bitter?
I just feel like my life is ass compared to the lives of women. Being a below average-average male male is complete turds.
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>>17294578
>>>/tumblr/
>>
>I don't mind them having boyfriends in the past
>I talked to a woman aged 24 who I thought seemed meekish and it turns out she has had like 4-5 boyfriends..
Pick one.
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>I've put forth zero effort during my whole decade of puberty
>Everyone else having an easier time at this then I am
>Clearly, the cards are stacked against me
lol don't come in here whining like that and then tell us you're willing to change. We both know that's horseshit. Enjoy settling for a single mother of 2.
hobo
How should I approach a shy girl? 2016-06-26 05:47:04 Post No.17294576
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How should I approach a shy girl? 2016-06-26 05:47:04 Post No.17294576
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How should I approach a shy girl?
hobo
2016-06-26 05:47:04
Post No. 17294576
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I like a girl. She's shy as fuck and never experienced a relationship.
Surely has experienced a heartbreak of not receiving attraction from her crush, but never a genuine relationship.
I too am a shy fuck who's never had a gf. However I have physical features at my advantage. I'm tall (6'3), not overweight, and no neckbeard.
How do I approach her in a way I can escalate things into a relationship? We met in class first semester of 2015 and that was the last time we saw each other irl. However, we do talk online in essay-long messages. I'm sure she's interested in me and I had just asked her out.
So again, how do I escalate things when we meet again in person?
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Bump
In a similar situation
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Alright you social retards, I'd suggest going googling nick notas's website right now. Don't be a robot, and just go with the flow. High risks=high rewards, low risks=no pussy. Being respectful is key overall for shy girls
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>>17294576
Dude just talk to her. That's it.
Anonymous
Stick to my guns or back out? 2016-06-26 05:41:52 Post No.17294562
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Stick to my guns or back out? 2016-06-26 05:41:52 Post No.17294562
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Stick to my guns or back out?
Anonymous
2016-06-26 05:41:52
Post No. 17294562
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I'm a relatively new business owner and have been struggling to get new customers into my shop. Another local business owner and I were talking and he offered a chance to get more traffic in my store: when people spend a minimum of $5 at his pizza shop, they can bring in their receipt for a free drink.
I thought at first that this was a great idea. People come in and get a free drink, try our product, and we can get them to come back.
What actually ended up happening is a lot of our regulars started taking advantage of the offer (there aren't a lot of places to eat around us and so they get two slices of pizza and then come to my place and get an expensive drink on us). We have been getting new customers but they also seem to be going to the pizza shop, saving their receipts and redeeming them for our more expensive items.
Do I continue to honor the deal or back out? We paid for an ad in the local rag, it's printed on the receipts from the pizza shop, and they specifically say that they don't expire. If I stop the deal, can I get sued since I advertised it as a permanent thing?
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>>17294562
Firstly, no, you can't be sued.
Secondly, why don't understand this if you own a business? You have not done due diligence. You don't know extremely basic things that I know and I have no desire to own or manage a business.
Third: Get out of owning a business. The fact that you are asking this here and don't know more about what you are doing shows that your business has a 100% chance to fail.
The fact that you didn't see this situation coming doesn't speak well for your inherent business intelligence/acumen, by the way.
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>>17294574
r00dypoo
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>>17294574
"If you fail once you're not meant to be an entrepreneur"
Shut the fuck up you faggot.
OP, change it to a free drink and then give them a small glass/cup. Give them 5oz or something.
For some reason i feel unaccomplished. I feel like my life should have been so much more. I feel like iv'e wasted it. I also feel super unmotivated to do anything. I just turned 18. I feel like im having a mid life crisis. Ive lost all my friends after middle school and became depressed and broken.
Im already done with like a fourth of my life.
I want to live life to the fullest and be happy again. How to have hope again? How to step up to the challenge? I want to fix life but don't know how!!!!
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I'm in the same state right now. I don't really know where I'm going, and being heartbroken isn't helping.
I 'm trying to move on and to become better. I' m trying to have a more positive way of thinking, be more smiling and I started lifting at home. I like to draw, so I 'm working on it to git gud.
I have 2 months to made progress, and I' ll see how it goes on my 3rd year of college.
The thing that scare me is that there is someone I love and I haven't been able to let go in months. I keep thinking about her and I know there will never be anything, yet I keep hoping.
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>>17294546
You are unaccomplished. You're 18.
So go do something.
Read a book.
Join a cult.
Learn a new skill.
Start a gang.
Whatever.
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>>17294746
How did u start ur journey to gittig gud? Ive read the sticky on ic but wut did u start with?
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OK so yesterday while my pc was on I was cleaning the back of my desk and the tower fell on its side. The pc froze so I manually shut it off. Fast forward to this morning. After turning it back on it was stuck on the bios screen. I decided to restart it and after waiting 5 minutes it finally logged on. To my horror, the thing was slow as hell and would just constantly crash. This would repeat everytime I did a hard reboot. I went into the bios after spamming the delete button. Everything seemed fine but sometimes it wouldn't detect my hard drive at all. I tried to use the manual repair for the hard drive but it would be stuck at 0% for over 2 hours. Anyways, what could the problem possibly be? Thanks ahead of time everyone. Specs:
980 ti gtx
I5 5670k proc
2tb wdc hard drive
Gaz87 d3hp gigabyte hard drive
8 gig xms3 ram 600 watt power supply
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*Gaz87 d3hp Gigabyte motherboard
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killed the hard drive. which component in the computer is mechanical and would be hurt by falling over, dumbass?
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>>17294535
Graphics card could've easily slipped out as well as ram. Evernote the MB could develop a Crack from falling. More than just the HD here m8.
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Does this girl like me?
So my best friend's wife's sister is down in latin america doing cool archaeology shit, but she texts me all the time, every day. We have a lot in common, and she seems into me, but I can't really tell. My best friend doesn't think she's into me, but he's not sure either. She keeps talking about hanging out and going places when she gets home, and the three of them live together and are looking for a fourth. My best friend and his wife have been looking for me to move in for a while, but now the sister is pushing it too. I'll like find out one way or another when she comes home, but in the mean time, what do you think guys?
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>>17294518
The other thing is she got out of a 6 year relationship in like Spring of 2015 and I got out of a 5 year relationship around Boxing Day. So like, I dunno if we're just becoming friends because of our similar situation, or if it is something more?
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>>17294518
everything up to the move in I was thinking yes, yes, yes
if they're pushing you to move in it's an absolute no, no no. Be rational. Why would someone want you to move in and additionally start a relationship that fully might fail, leading to a horribly awkward situation
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>>17294547
well the couple have been asking me to move in for a couple of months, and it's not an issue. The sister never had before. But that's what confused me too. Like why would she want that? So I dunno, I'm usually pretty good at reading these types of things, but that part really threw me.
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How do you end a first date properly? Really into this girl.
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Ask her if she wants to fuck.
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>>17294499
I already know she does. Everyone tells me so. I just feel like the end of the date will be awkward, never had a legit date like this before.
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>>17294499
Actually, that would probably be too strong. Ask her if she wants to come inside.
Anonymous
People who have been married for the longest 2016-06-26 05:05:34 Post No.17294466
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People who have been married for the longest 2016-06-26 05:05:34 Post No.17294466
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People who have been married for the longest
Anonymous
2016-06-26 05:05:34
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How? What did you do to keep the love strong? I'm assuming your marrage was for love.
Tips on what traits to look for in a longterm lover.
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And i mean married in spirit not just religiously.
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I'm not married.
But I've seen multiple marriages fall apart.
My parents, my friends. They all end.
The key is surrender.
That sounds base. That sounds like limp dick shit.
The key is to have two people together who can relinquish control.
If you have a marriage between two people who must have control, it will fail.
There will come a time when one person demands control and the other does not.
That will lead to failure.
A long lasting marriage must have one or both partners be able to say "I don't want this, but I'll let it happen".
Can you do that?
Can you just say "I hate this, but it's OK and I won't hold a grudge"?
A marriage is a unity between two ugly people with ugly differences.
There is something between them that they will hate in each other.
Can you let that go?
That's a lasting marriage.
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>>17294513
Wow ya, thanks.
Great job explaining that yo. Any tips on where to find someone like that? Haha just playin.
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>Date girl for a few months
>Intense relationship
>Turns out she drinks multiple times a week, smokes everyday, pops pills sometimes
>I work out everyday and watch everything I eat
>She refuses to slow down on drugs and alcohol
>Break it off because I had to
Fast forward a month
>Talk to girl
>Hope she realized a few things and changed
>Girl started doing molly (probably other things too)
I know I dodge a pretty big bullet - why do I feel terrible about it? Any advice would be appreciated
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>>17294464
Because you're a human being and it's normal to feel sympathy and empathy. Also, by breaking it off (elaborate on how you 'had to'?) you gave up on her and you're feeling somewhat guilty for not trying harder to help. If you really cared for her, you could have leveraged your relationship with her to get her help.
that being said, molly's great. I've done it like 4-5 times this year already. As long as you have some semblance of self-control and give your brain enough time to recover, it's fine.
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It's not easy being a person with immense discipline regarding drugs and alcohol to be dating someone on the opposite end ; but more than that being fucked up most of the week and refusing to even talk about slowing down to only the weekends... it's like how I put it to her, she cared more about getting fucked up than how I felt about it. To the point where if I brought it up she'd get defensive and angry. That's why I had to break it off
Anyone who gets this idea that they're going to do whatever they want in a relationship regardless of how the other feels shouldn't be surprised when they get left behind.
Anonymous
Problem while installing Debian 2016-06-26 04:55:42 Post No.17294447
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Problem while installing Debian 2016-06-26 04:55:42 Post No.17294447
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Problem while installing Debian
Anonymous
2016-06-26 04:55:42
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So what should I do here
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>>17294447
>installing debian
>don't know what to do at a screen asking you for network configuration
Go back to windows. This isn't for you
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>>17294447
Of all the fucking places you could have posted this (not just in 4chan) you go the place where most people come to discuss their relationship problems and why their oneitis prefers to fuck tyrone instead of them.
Specially when theres a board with a dedicated Linux General (g)
Go ask on g idiot.
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>>17294452
If I press retry network autoconfiguration or retry network auto configuration with a DHCP hostname. It says I am not using DHCP protocol or the DHCP server is slow (which I do not believe) and I am left with the manual option. And that's why am asking for help , what's up with my network not having this DHCP protocol
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Lets talk jobs. Particularly schooling to get into jobs.
tfw I decide I want to be a dentist. So I start looking into it.
>$34,000 a year.
It's okay. School loans exist
>Need to take 300$ Test
Oh it's okay I can save.
>3.7 average GPA
What the fuck? I'm not even in school. Let alone the fact I flunked out of highschool and dropped artschool half way through.
>Need all these reference letters.
Got this covered at the place I'm working luckily. My bosses like me.
Not to mention the site is absolutely fucking obtuse. (I mean look at it : https://www.dentistry.utoronto.ca/admissions ) If you can find a single link of useful information about how you actually apply. I'll swallow a nickel. Now I have to contact the admissions office and talk to them about how I basically want to start from scratch but risk looking like a retard because the sites so bad.
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Here you go, though I wouldn't bother applying, since you're far too stupid.
http://www.sgs.utoronto.ca/prospectivestudents/Pages/How-to-Apply.aspx
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>>17294426
>>17294435
Also, you do realise it's a post-grad degree, right? You can't just go straight into it if you don't have a related Bachelors
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>>17294426
>dropped out of high school
you will never, ever be a medical professional. especially not if a GPA scares you.
being a dentist is 8 years of school btw.
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Okay so
I have no where to sleep floor the first night iof my life.
Im a 23 yo man with a few hundred left from my last job.
Im in new Orleans with no job or shelter
Any adv?
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>>17294422
I mean, with a few hundreds you can crash at a dirty, cheap motel, right?
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>>17294422
Homeless shelter, bro.
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Just kys
Anonymous
Girlfriend doesn't want to have sex when my parents are home? 2016-06-26 04:33:58 Post No.17294399
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Girlfriend doesn't want to have sex when my parents are home? 2016-06-26 04:33:58 Post No.17294399
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Girlfriend doesn't want to have sex when my parents are home?
Anonymous
2016-06-26 04:33:58
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I'm 22 and I live with my mom and my aunt and uncle.
>people are usually always over and it's rare people aren't home
I'm moving out in a few months, but I recently got a girlfriend and started being sexually active. We always start making out and it always starts out hot and heavy
>when we start working towards sex my girlfriend sudden isn't interested anymore and gets dry.
>any other thing we do she's always ready to go but when it comes to sex she gets anxious
>she said that she doesn't feel right having sex in a house with a bunch of people.
>i never have a problem or care because we lock the door
>i mean yeah my cousin has banged on the door and shit but ive never cared
>We don't really have any other place to have sex
> i've tried to make her comfortable and no way is she obligated to have sex with me I'm just afraid we never will because of her concerns
tldr:> my gf doesn't wanna have sex because people are always over
how can i try to make her feel more comfortable about it /adv/?
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>>17294399
>how can i try to make her feel more comfortable about it /adv/?
She will be a lot more comfortable if you stop trying to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.
You wrote a bunch of lines, I only needed to read your post subject.
stop and realize in life that what you want to do isn't the best thing to do and accomplishing it at any means isn't the best thing to do also.
Jesus fucking christ man. Humanity scares me. You aren't even aware that she is probably intensely uncomfortable, possibly even outright disgusted at thinking of sex with your parents around.
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>>17294399
go to a hotel or do it in a car.
Her concerns are reasonable enough.
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>>17294403
she initiates though, and then she ends up getting dry after a while. She literally says lets have sex and then she gets dry and i don't wanna hurt her so i stop and after I stop she says she must have been nervous because she can hear people moving in the house. I'm not making her uncomfortable I don't even initiate it's just annoying that people are like hey lets do this lol jk ...