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I've wanted to make a thread about this for a while
In many respects, my brother seems to have matured to the mental and social limits of a 14 year old.
He is, however, 25. He is not enough of a burden on my parents for them to accept him as a handicapped person but he is living like a child while being expect to live as an adult.
Please assume everything that you would about a typical NEET plus pretty bad dyspraxia and very immature.
My parents are really tired and it makes me sad to see it. any suggestions on what to do?
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bump, please
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>>17294921
Well, does he have friends? goes out? Has he ever had a job?
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>>17294943
he has friends, also in the same boat.
as a rule he leads a very sedentary lifestyle.
He does temporary work at the moment, but as far as obtaining skills he begins at a base level far lower than everyone else i know, and he doesn't have the resolve to improve. In fact, he has no drive for anything much (biggest problem i think)
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Hello anons, Today my grandmother passed away and this is the first real death that I have ever had to deal with (with someone who I was really close too). I keep alternating with emotions numbness to sadness and then guilt for things I wished I could of done but was too lazy or selfish because there was always more time.
How have any of you coped with death? When does it get easier or does it always stick with you.
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>>17294915
I've only experienced death in the family twice. Once was in sixth grade when my grandfather died. My greatgreatgrandmother died several years after that. About a year ago I was panicking at random just remembering that I was mortal. The best I've been able to deal with it is to try and accept that eventual death is the price we pay to get to live. It's not perfect, I know, but it's helped.
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>>17294915
I've experienced it a couple times. The only time it really ever hit was when I was 17/18. My grandfather died, I spent a lot of time at his farm with the family. I'm normally a very, very reserved person but I was crying with my whole extended family at the hospital and at the funeral. It was a very strange experience. It was easier when we left back home. We still visit my grandmother regularly at the farm for days at a time. We're at peace with it.
It's very weird though, looking back at when he was alive, he tried to talk with me more, he knew what was coming. He wanted to get to know me more, I'm not the best talker but it's nice knowing that he was comfortable with what was coming, at least at the time.
I'll never forget though, on his deathbed, he kept moaning over & over "Take me back to the farm, take me back to the farm" almost like he was a little boy.
He passed some hours later right in front of us.
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I lost my father, and older brother because of a drunk driver. The way I managed to get over it (and this may sound cheesy) by getting a notebook and write everything I remembered of them. The notebook felt like a huge release for me, and it might help you. As for the feeling switching between being numb and sad, it's natural. Try to go out with friends, push yourself to be with anyone who supports you since it'll be hard. Losing someone close is never easy. Best wishes man.
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So, /adv/, I'm 18 and I smoke lots and lots of weed and do lots and lots of drugs. Me and my friend got VERY fucked up last night and forgot to clean up our mess, which included coke, DXM, weed, and some Klonopin. In my high state of mind, I drove my car halfway out of my driveway into my dad's car and then ran back inside. My parents awoke to find their cars mashed together, and two 18 year olds stoned out of their minds. I'm never allowed to speak to him again, and my parents are forcing me to go to a Catholic college. What in the fuck do I do? I'm seriously considering suicide.
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hahahah guess you fucked up
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You're 18, all I can say is petiton them to let you atleast get clean and composed enough to go to college before you waste their money and their time. That should naturally mean some form of rehabilitation. I'm not saying you're really troubled, I don't know you but from someone who's had much the same experience I think you probably do have some things in your life that bother you and lead you to do this. Care to share?
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>considering suicide because you're a degenerate
Lol
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>My entire family has always had a very patriarchal relationship with my father.
>He's always very removed from our lives even though we live together. Left everything to our mother pretty much.
>He was an abusive piece of shit. Beat me and my siblings when he was in a bad mood and made our mother feel like shit.
>My mother is a very timid woman who married her first love and still loves him even though he clearly uses her for a lot of things.
>I dont doubt he loved her at one point but I'm pretty sure he's cheated on her multiple times throughout his life.
>He also had untreated mental problems. Often accused us of going through his things, kicked my mother out of their room and installed multiple padlocks, accused his own family of conspiracy type shit against him often.
>Had to physically fight him when I got older and bigger than him to stop him from abusing the rest of my family. Now he just leaves us alone and never talks to us even though he lives down the hall
>My father is now on his deathbed. He developed lung cancer after smoking for a decade. None of my siblings will admit it but we're all glad to see him go and I'm pretty sure he knows it.
>The only problem is my mother still loves him and I know it's going to hurt her badly when he finally dies.
>Me and my siblings decide we need to talk to our mom before he dies about how he treated us so she's not in denial or blames herself.
>we all decide I should do it since I'm the closest to her.
I'm going to talk to her in the morning. Any advice on letting an abusers wife know its not her fault and that it's okay not to miss him? I know she is going to be going through some fucked up emotions because of all the emotional shit he's pulled on her for decades.
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You do this after he dies, not before. I'm shocked that you would even consider doing it before.
That's making everything about you all, not about her. Sounds really selfish in general, actually
You're trying to take something from her and tell her it's bad..what does it matter after he's gone?
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>>17294893
>Someone wants to make their mother know its not her fault after being abused by their father for decades.
>you're making it all about you.
Really don't know where you got this from. I don't see what they have to gain from talking to her about this. Abusers often instill guilt and blame with their victims so I 100% agree with what they're trying to do.
I agree with waiting though. I would even suggest waiting a few weeks after the death so she can calm down and think a little clearer.
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>>17294884
Why do you hate your mother so much?
If, as you say, her love for him is the one thing that has enabled her to live with his cruelty, it is likely to be the one thing that enables her to live with his death.
Be clear - I am not talking about any fantasy that he loved her. She almost certainly has none. But finds meaning in her life because she chose to go on loving him in spite of everything.
And now you want to steal that from her, just because you and your sibs don't love him.
You must hate her very much.
About to be in my first proper relationship in my life...
Have had plenty of flings but they never went the distance due my fear of commitment.
I'm 22M and she's 26, just looking for any tips to going into a relationship, not really looking to fuck this one up.
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>>17294850
don't evolve her too fast it seems like the abilities are good but it fucks up her stat growth
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>>17294850
Go down on her as much as you need but as little as she wants.
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10 months into my first long relationship and i can tell you that being honest and as natural as possible is the only way possible if you want a serious thing (not from the beginning but try to be open to her as if you were with your best friend), pay attention to her needs but don't become her dog, be on her side and back her up in every context but if you disagree talk about it with her later, don't be a moralist
Anonymous
Dad passed away recently.. 2016-06-26 07:28:42 Post No.17294836
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Dad passed away recently.. 2016-06-26 07:28:42 Post No.17294836
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Dad passed away recently..
Anonymous
2016-06-26 07:28:42
Post No. 17294836
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I've only seen my father one time in my life due to my parents divorce, and that was last year when I made a thread on here asking some of you if I should go visit him over seas, regardless of my moms opinion (she wasn't happy). I wasn't going to go but some of you motivated me to visit my dad and it turns out my father is actually a really nice guy and my mom was wrong about many things.. I was happy I gave him a chance and I'm thankful for the advice some of you have given me last year.. Ever since I met him until last week, my dad and I have been talking a lot and we scheduled to see each other again later on in the year. The issue is my dad passed away recently and I don't know how to cope with it. I am obviously supporting my mother as she is very upset by the death. I just don't know how to feel about the whole situation.. The last time I talked to my dad I wished him happy fathers day for the first time and he couldn't believe it. He was soo happy and it just breaks my heart that my dad tried to provide for me with his limited income and my mom refused to let me accept or even talk to him at times. So I'm just wondering what do I do? Do I sell my gaming set up for a airplane ticket to attend his funeral? I'm not wealthy at all so selling everything including my phone would literally leave me nothing to entertain myself my room would be empty. Thanks for your advice guys. Appreciated as always......
PS. Pardon the broken English, it's not my first language.
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>>17294836
how much do you need for the ticket
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Gofundme.com
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>>17294837
Op here
Flights are anywhere from 1.5k to 2k Canadian dollars.
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How do I resist the temptation to eat junk food? I'm talking about candy, chips, soda, and so on.
I automatically eat it whenever I'm bored, depressed, or otherwise in a bad mood. It reliably improves my mood and obviously tastes delicious.
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>>17294832
Buy some gum.
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>>17294845
The kind with sugar is bad for your teeth, and the kind with sugar substitutes gives me horrible stomach aches.
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Drink tap water.
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There's a super loud party going on next door. I have no plans of breaking it up or calling the cops. It's a Saturday, so party on.
But I really want to go to sleep. Any tips? Earplugs seem to be causing more of a problem than they're helping since the bass still goes right through them, and I'm not used to wearing them.
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Ask them politely to turn the Volume down. Its not like it'll end their party.
Stand up for yourself, man.
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>>17294799
call the cops. guess what? the relevance of saturday as party day fades to the entire world after the age of 21 or so. Does it occur to you that other people around might have to work tomorrow?
There is one way to deal with people who disrespect the general life patterns of others callously. You make them stop, however necessary.
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>>17294807
I turn 30 in a few weeks and I'm still not going to ruin someone's fucking party you faggot.
Now someone tell me how to get to sleep so some kids next door can make bad decisions and have fun.
>>17294804
This is stupid too.
Fuck.
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i have a major life decision coming at me full speed, and i was hoping to get some help with making the right decision on what to do. so:
i'm 19, i currently live in a small town in california. my friend group are all in a band but music was never really my strong suit so we just hang out and i help them with art. anyways, they're all moving down to Los Angeles this fall and they told me there was a spot for me. But i'm currently enrolled in community college for one more year at least, with scholorships and what not. this would be an easy choice, to just stay here and finish up college, if not for my awful step dad, who had wanted me out of the house since i was 16. he said he's going to be drafting up a legal document stating i will pay 600$ a month to live in this bedroom or i leave for good. he said it will be official next june, which is luckily right after i finish next year of college. i work at a retail store and generally make ~$700 a month part-time. my major is graphic design but i love film too, so not sure yet about that.
so my options, as i see them are currently to
>finish next semesters here in lockdown with shitty step dad and family, core friends gone
>rush out right after semester ends to avoid paying insane rent
>jump right into LA life, transfer jobs, apply for colleges there over summer
or
>leave with them this fall, cancel winter classes
>apply to community college in LA
>settle in and start spring semester
OR
>stay here, finish CC
>stay here but move out, find random roommate in my town
>graduate and move to a place of my choice, leave friends forever (i'm honestly not a huge fan of LA, it's hot, humid , insane traffic and it's kinda dangerous)
i've never moved out or anything so i'd love any advice you guys could give me on this decision. if you have any other questions about the situation i'd be happy to answer if it will help the result. thanks
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This one is all you, buddy. Nobody can give you advice on this type of crossroads really.
I can give you this advice: college degrees in things like graphic design are 10000% useless. If you want to do an art, pick english as your major and continue doing art while acquiring a useful degree.
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Idk what bumblefuck town you live in, but I expect LA should be a step up above in job market and wage compared to where you live. I dont know myself since i live in the east coast, but still, Los Angeles. Check out the opportunities now and see about transferring your credits to a LA CC.
Of course, calculate hard on your budget, rent, potential income and more. Work in restaurant if you can. Tip is great and shift meals eases costs on food
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If you love film then LA's the place to be. But you need hustle.
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In Canada if you admit to a therapist that you experience suicidal ideation what happens? Are you committed, put on pills, put on a list, or do you just work through it verbally?
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Pills and therapy. If you sound dead serious on suicide like "I'm going to kill myself asap" then they'll put you on suicide watch, if that's the kind of list you're talking about?
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>>17294783
By actual law and the rules of the profession, everything you say to a therapist stays in the room with only two exceptions. If you convince them that you are an imminent (as in right this minute) threat to yourself or others, they can call the cops. Otherwise everything stays in the room, and the shrink decides (with your agreement) whether talk or meds is best.
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>>17294912
Sort of, I'd be worried about losing certain privileges in order to reduce my end of life options down the road if there was no improvement from therapy. I wouldn't want to have my driver's license revoked so that I can't use my car as a method for suicide, for example.
>>17294912
>>17295142
Thank-you.
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I need advice so fucking bad guys. 27 virgin here. Started lifting a year ago, got fit by normie standards. Couple months ago I tried making social gains, went on the first dates of life, needless to say it didn't go well, I had no idea what I was doing. Tonight I got match on Tinder, it's an out of town girl who wants to fuck. We meet tomorrow. She's not hot or anything, about average, but whatever, I just want to stop lying and being awkward whenever the topic of sex or virginity is brought up in conversation. I just want to able to fill into my dating profile that I'm not a fucking 27 virgin.
So all well and good right? Well only problem is yesterday I got a girl's number at a bar, I really like her, and we tentatively set a date for tomorrow that she cancelled but she says she does want to go out with me. After the cancellation I got the Tinder match and plans for a one night stand. So basically now instead of going on a date that I was really looking forward to, I'm instead fucking some random girl idgaf about. I'm not a bad person. I don't want to do anything morally wrong. Is this being dishonest, selfish or manipulative?
I know what you're thinking: "No, you haven't even been on a date with this other girl." Would she really see it that way if the relationship developed into something more serious? Please help.
Pic related, it's me.
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things dont change when you lose your virginity, you stupid asshole.
a girl who blew you off once is probably going to blow you off again.
don't wait for "the one" to lose your virginity but don't just fuck some random off tinder. Do you understand that you can get herpes with a condom with her showing no signs of it? Does anyone who uses tinder understand this? Herpes is incurable. Do you want to contract an incurable STD on your first time having sex?
No?
Then why the fuck would you have sex with a girl who probably fucks a different guy every day?
PS SHE'S GOING TO EXPECT YOU NOT TO BE A VIRGIN IF YOU'RE SEMI FIT
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>>17294791
pretty sure no girl my age is a virgin anymore. pretty sure no girl older than 22 is a virgin anymore unless they are obese or disfigured. check the virgin thread in /soc/. i've never seen a female virgin older than 22 in that thread. so when a girl eventually finds out that im a virgin they get wierded out by it, as they rightfully should be. That will change.
I'm not worried about her thinking I'm not virgin, I know how sex works. If I cum too early or go soft I'll just say that I'm nervous about one night stands.
You are right about the STDs though.
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>>17294819
lol bro a girl will be able to tell if you're a virgin from your mechanics, approach, confidence etc. you will be outed. trust me.
The main point i'm trying to make is it doesn't matter when you lose your virginity. for fucks sake. you will have sex and be like "oh it's just a thing that happens sometimes"
I'm going to say just avoid tinder cocksluts dude. just as a general advice on life.
just because you can doesn't mean you should. tinder is resulting in fucking statistically significant increases in STDs in young people. Not shitting you.
People that just go fuck anybody are LOW people. you are a HIGH person.
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Just listing some things so that maybe someone might be able to help with one or some of my problems
1. I'm practically out of motivation to do anything anymore. I'm only 20 years old, have a 20-35 hour a week job on top of going to school part time majoring in something retarded but chose because I enjoy it and living at home. Even this relatively sedentary lifestyle is wearing me the fuck out, I couldn't imagine working more and having to life on my own, paying my own bills and taking care of myself. I know that makes me a fucking leech and a bum but I don't see much to look forward to
2. I literally cannot enjoy anything anymore just because of how retardedly obsessive I am about having to be good at something. Video games are my only hobby and I rarely play them and have fun, I usually just use them as a means to fill time because I consider it "leisure" and would rather put off doing something productive. Either way I'd be having a shit time. I tried fencing as a class during the Spring semester and enjoyed it but don't have the time or money to join a legitimate fencing club or purchase equipment for it.
3. I am physically incapable of having sex and that weighs pretty heavily on me. I've nearly had sex on 3-4 different occasions only for me to get too nervous to perform. Rather than attempt to date anymore, I'm too afraid of building up a romantic relationship with a woman only for it to come to a head with fucking (as most relationships do), only for me to fuck up and tear the whole thing down. Don't get me wrong, I love everything about dating but I'm too fucking scared of embarrassing myself again just to have everything I might work for evaporate. On the flip side, I really wish I could just fuck just to say I did it so that I could claim some degree of normalcy so that I wouldn't have to feel like a dysfunctional virgin loser all the time.
/blog, would appreciate some advice
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look in the catalog and look how many posts there are here that are basically carbon copies. that are getting no reply
post about one thing you need advice on, don't write a blog how your life sucks and then ask /adv/ to fix you. retard.
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Cant you be easier on yourself? Is there any reason you need to be good at anything.
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You need a sense of urgency and you need to learn how to work. Join the conservation corps or a branch of the army
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Have you ever been doing sex with a girl when she asks you to do her more but you're already doing her the most that you can? How do you handle it?
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-Pull her hair
-Talk dirty (you're my little slut, your pussy is soaking wet for my cock, isn't it?, take my dick in your hot tight cunt)
-Spank her (hard, you pussy)
-grab her hard, bite her
-change positions forcibly, you must be the dominant one
-Make her your bitch etc
Every woman wants to be fucked rough by a masculine man, it's why so many sexually frustrated feminists exist. Women were meant to be submissive in sex
Men are pussies today
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>>17294942
Idk I'm a virgin but these all seem good
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>>17294942
This.
Every woman wants to be controlled and treated like a plaything, it really turns them on.
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Hey /adv/ how can I find a girl that is good for me?
I have tried looking around for a long while but can't seem to find anybody.
I think one of my biggest issues is that I wait for girls to make a move first.
Looking for a girlfriend that is sweet, talented at something, likes video games, and likes nature.
It's almost fucking impossible for me, so many of my friends are getting into serious relatiomships and I still haven't. Fuck I need to do something.
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Please try. Overcome your fear of failure.
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>>17294762
That is one issue, fear of failure.
I just don't know where to look, not sure if any girls are interested in me.
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>>17294776
is there any reason for anyone to be interested in you?
no?
then start looking there.
Anonymous
Literally want to die 2016-06-26 06:09:58 Post No.17294651
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so yeah I basically hate everything about myself, any reason not to off myself? Does it get better? The only time i feel any better is with drugs (so far just weed, wanna try xanax too) but I don't wanna get hooked on drugs I guess.
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>>17294651
Same but booze is what fixes me temporarily
Call me back when you find a solution
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What do you hate anon?
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>>17294809
EVERYTHING
MAHSELF
THE CONCEPT OF LIFE
THE POINTLESSNESS OF IT ALL
MY TITS (AND I'M A man)
MY BOOGIE SIZED BODY
MY GF MAKING OUT WITH SEVERAL GUYS IN FRONT OF ME
DARKNESS
SUNSHINE
MEMES!