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I'm a fucking idiot when drunk but I'm also an alcoholic.
I live with my daddy and his gf, age 20 no job on social security and spend most of my time drunk.
So my past boyfriends have wanted to do anal but it was too painful. However two weeks ago after a night of drinking I wanted to try it out. I'd read somewhere that you need to do something called an enema, but I didn't have that so fucking idiot me decided to use the shower hose.
So everything ended up down the shower drain...... Drunk me clean up and carries on.
Only problem? Drunk me cannot clean for shit.
Next day I have to answer why there was shit in the shower drain.
WORST PART? SINCE I'M A IDIOT ALCOHOLIC IVE DONE IT MORE TIMES!
What the fuck is wrong with me
I've ordered an enema but it takes weeks to ship it into my rural shithole.
So my question is: How can I do this more without fucking up so much until it arrives? (and yes I am drunk)
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>>17301140
Ayy alcoholic brethren.
>1) You gay nigga needs to clean your asshole out more. Take a shit then insert that bag in there. Get it clean. No one wants to fuck a shit hole.
2) Learn to keep a kernel of your sober self when drunk. Try to make yourself rigid in your invisibility. A good drunk is invisible. Endeavour to be so.
3) Nigga, why you living with your pop at 20?
Move out already
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try the one from the drug store and see how it goes. Shit doesn't come out, it's clear liquid idk how it works but it's just how it comes out.
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>>17301159
Living at home until I get into either uni via the social security. But they take their sweet ass time.
>>17301352
Aww fuck, I'd go out and get that in a heartbeat if I didn't live in bumfuck nowhere.
But I think I've found a solution that I can get at our local everything store. I buy this thing and a extra long shower hose to reach the shitter. Now only to sober up to get to the store today....
Easier to hide something that clean up.
>someone invites me into huge Kik chat
>looks like they invited everyone in their contacts
>"Kik has joined the chat"
>I think the guy accidentally invited Kik
>Kik sends a message
>basically says "this chat has been reported too the FBI for child porn"
>message was really long, not reading the whole thing
>immediately block everybody in the chat and leave
>don't know if I'll get arrested
>what do
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You won't get arrested but if they do ask you any questions just tell them everything you told us, and nothing more really unless you have a lawyer
You didn't actually do anything wrong so they don't really have any reason to be worried and if they invited all their other contacts there's probably other people from the chat in the same boat as you
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Thanks anon
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I don't think I knew anyone in the chat, but my Kik is in my Ifunny bio so I think they got it there.
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What are good exercises to do at home that will get rid of belly fat
My current weight is 165
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Empathic bump
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>>17301093
>>>/fit/ and read the sticky
I know it's a bulky read (pun intended), but just do it.
Then live the sticky.
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>>17301093
Read /fit/'s sticky.
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General cues to keep a conversation flowing and entertaining, post them.
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not this thread again
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>>17301059
Every day until you like it
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I usually talk about threads on imageboards in which people post tips to keep a conversation flowing and entertaining; threads in which I post about talking about threads on imageboards in which people post tips to keep a conversation flowing and entertaining, in which I [...]
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Hey guys. I need some advise really bad.
So my girlfriend has this ex that is her neighbor. They broke up on bad terms and what not. She said that she had very slight feelings for him still. She wanted to break up about 2 months age because she felt bad for having slight feelings for him and dating me. Anyways I was cool about it and told her not to worry and what not.
A few weeks ago I was at her parents house with her, we were looking at videos on youribe or something and she got a text from him. And immedialtly swipped it away. I paid no attention to it at first then she got more messages and did the same thing. I still paid no attention to it. Then 2 days after that we're at the mall and we're just chilling and she started to show me texts from her mom about idk what. Then she gets a text from him again, she did the same thing. I paid no interest. And got up to walk around and more a little. Then I notice her quickly reply to him and I walk up to her and she changes chats. I decide not to mention anything yet. The next day I tell her I want to know who she was talking to and why she was doing it so discreetly. She tells me it's her ex and he would just ask how she was doing and what not. And she didn't want to upset me and let me know earlier. And I told her to stop talking to him and to block him. She said she will and she know it upset me and ect.
Fats forward to now. I haven't seen her in a week. She lives about 20 minutes and I've been busy with work/gym and haven't had time to see her. This weekend was her relatives parry at her house. And they had this machine that blew out the cords and wiring in her house so she is without power atm.
We usually text almost all day. And that day she told me that happened and that's why she couldn't talk to me. But that she charged her phone at one of her neighbors house to talk to me atm.
Now I have no idea what to do /adv/
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Cont..
And I was like okay cool. Then she told me today that she got power from her neighbor giving her an extension cord. And I didn't know whom. So I asked. And she told me it was her ex. So I didn't say anything about it yet because I was pissed. Later in the day I gave her call and she was on the bus. While we were talking she just started talking her couson out of no where. While I was talking to her about us moving in together and the prices in where we're moving. And then she's like sorry I got distracted and I was like alright it's cool whatever. Then she go home and said she had to go and hung up on me.
Then she asked why I got upset and what not. I explain that it was basically rude for her to cut me off to talk to her "couson" or whomever it was she was talking to. The she gets mad and says you don't want me talking to my couson anymore or what. And I'm like no but if we're on the phone at least wait till I'm done talking to start another conversation. Then she gets mad. So I basically I go off on her because she asked her ex for power and what not because of what she promised to do a few weeks agow hich was block him and not talk to hin again. She gets mad teling me she doesnt owe me any explantions. And I told her i was going to her house today to talk to her about this and she basically threatened to break up with me if I go to her house because she's very upset at me for going off on her.
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She is cheating dont you see the signs.
Activly ignoring you.
Getting mad at small thing that upset you.
Just pull the plug now before it goes worse
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>inb4 shitload of posts coming up telling you to let her go because you are / are going to be a cuck
Trust is a fickle thing and in the end this amounts to just that: whether you trust her or not.
If she HAS feeling for him, she basically told you what's going in her mind. This doesn't necessarily imply that they have fucked or will fuck behind your back, but I wouldn't have it.
Not like this, not with her still harboring feelings for the guy.
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Should I simply let go my education?
When I got into college I started a degree in mathematics, which I drop after one year; then started another degree which I finished last year, and this year I started a master degree.
Now I'm 24, and at the start of this year I went back the mathematics, but since I have had many things to do (and I didn't care much about it to be honest) I didn't study a bit for the mathematics courses I took. I have tests in this week, but also presentations to do for courses in the master degree. I don't feel much attracted to the idea of studying mathematics right now, but it is something I still want to do - I think I would like to finish it, but everything else always seems more important than that.
I feel stupid for not being capable enough, and I will feel even more stupid after failing the tests, if I take them. I'm considering simply not going, or at least skipping one of them. I have one next thursday, and another next friday, so this leaves a few days to study, plus the presentation I have this week and the next.
I don't know what to do anymore. Do I have problems to simply let go? If I abandon the degree I will feel stupid, because I will do it because I wasn't smart enough for it - and I'm not, it is unlikely that I will ever produce any work in mathematics, but I've been attached to it for a long time, and if I stay in it I will fail often and I will be as hurt as I'd be if I drop it. It looks like a lose-lose situation.
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>mathematics degree
For what purpose?
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>>17301060
I don't know anymore.
Because I like mathematics, I think. But I feel I may have been more attracted to the idea of being a mathematician than doing mathematics.
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>>17301024
b'bump...
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Is it a good idea to have a cop gf? She could let me get away with certain crimes when she sees me during patrol but on the other hand if she gets mad at me she could plant drugs or other contraband and have me arrested
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>>17301005
One time I saw a chick cop checking me out.
I was nervous because I had weed on me and I'm a kissless, handholdless virgin.
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is this just a hypothetical or do you actually have a female cop that's into you?
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>>17301019
Hypothetical
>be 19
>live in third world shithole
>no marketable skills
>poor
Is there any civilized country that would accept me for unskilled labor? How to proceed?
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>>17300958
No.
Please stay away. We don't need another shitskin.
I think you can immigrate to argentian though.
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>>17300958
Germany will welcome you with open arms, you don't even have to work, you get free money and you can fuck German girls with grose bruste.
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>>17301291
No memes pls. I'm not even Muslim.
Working visas for Germany are easy to get? Is it a good idea to move there?
Anonymous
Why don't women get fucked up by masturbation? 2016-06-28 01:23:11 Post No.17300955
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Why don't women get fucked up by masturbation? 2016-06-28 01:23:11 Post No.17300955
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Why don't women get fucked up by masturbation?
Anonymous
2016-06-28 01:23:11
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You see all this "no fap" stuff which is mostly males and sometimes females*very rare)
Why is it that males get fucked up mostly by this? Like male masturbation seems to create far more psychological boogey men than female masturbation.
Like no one really cares if a woman destroys her cunt via huge vegetable squash dildo. But if a guy jacks off 4-5 times a day, it does some serious damage. Why?
I also wonder about testosterone. There is all this shit out there that causes estrogen spikes like soy and shit. Where is all the shit that causes testosterone spikes? Why isn't xenotestosterone in our water and not xenoestrogens or whatever?
Why the fuck are we being poisoned by estrogen? I read somewhere that estrogen is fucking us up because woman take excessive amounts of birth control and piss out the excess hormones which in turn get into fish and water and fuck dudes over.
WHY!? WHY IS ALL OF THIS HAPPENING?! Why can't a just be a basic high test dude? FUCK!
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>>17300955
Plenty of women can't even orgasm with a vibe.
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>>17300960
I guess that is distressing. I have had over 3500 orgasms over the course of my life and I am 23 year old male.
some women haven't even had 1. Jesus...
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Women don't need to fap.
They can literally have sex whenever they want.
Does anybody else struggle with the fact that they have at least 157,000 hours of memories to recall? Is it even more troublesome if your life occurred with a lot of randomness and incoherence? Personally, this is bothering me a lot. Mundane memories of the past feel disturbing and unreal to me.
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>>17300943
No, not really.
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>>17300943
The only memories i recall out of nowhere are the ones i regret.
Mundane ones would be cool with me.
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>>17300943
Hahaha what are you 16?
If so, git out.
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Is it a bad idea for Jews and Christians to be in a relationship together? I mean I don't know how we would celebrate things like Hanukah and Christmas together or which religion would get custody of the kids when we divorce.
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>2016
>still religious
stop believing in fairy tales and accept atheism
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yes it's a bad idea.
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>which religion would get custody of the kids when we divorce.
I wonder if this a bait thread
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I've hit a slump in life, just living alone and working a kinda above-average retail job. Vidya and some hobbies fill my time, but I don't feel fulfillment or connection with many people.
Religion has bugged me for years but agnostic skepticism has kept me from pursuing it (mainly the supernatural aspects of religion; the whole living by a code and doing good deeds appeals to me)
I want to get involved with some group or community to do things, connect, and acquire personal fulfillment. I feel a religious pursuit fits this, but I just can't handle going to church and not believing in God. The other belief that appeals to me is Buddhism, but theres no temples nearby and Nirvana is lost on me.
Has anyone else had similar issues pursuing faith? Perhaps I havent seen enough to believe, what actions/reads may influence this? Pic loosely related
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That describes about 90% of us, we all want people to connect with. faith is a tough subject and I am not sure how to advise you on that but when it comes to making friends try to find something you enjoy that you can with other people. I do spartan races, its not for everyone but I like the people I have met.
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>>17300923
Good-will, fairness, friendliness, willingness to help and want for peace are values not owned by any religion, no matter how often they try to copyright them (..."christian values". Sure...)
The "supernatural aspects" of religions are, arguably, what makes the religion. Per definition, a Christian is a follower of Christ, not a good person, (although the two things can coexist).
If you're just after a code you don't need a god of any kind, OP. Even the boy scouts match your current criteria.
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>>17300923
I've been in that same slump for 10 years.
What the fuck is wrong with me /adv/? I cannot for the life of me get a fucking girl interested in me for more than two days. Literally two days is where they consistently cap out on interest. The interest starts extremely high at first (one even was willing to go on a date with me two months later, I can explain how fucking horrible that turned out later) and within a 48 hour window they literally don't even answer me and remove me from all contact methods. I don't hound them with texts, I don't fucking stalk their shit, I'll literally shoot them a text if I'm extremely bored like "hey how was work?" (Which we talked about the day before) and BAM "Read 7:05" with no answer. Any evidence or pics you want I'll provide. I must be fucking retarded or something, because literally the only way I ever get laid is when I meet someone at a party or bar and basically upfront say "Let's fuck". I want a relationship for once instead of the retarded one night stands but I'm not kidding when I say every single girl I talk to loses complete interest in me within 48 hours. Any /adv/? I've tried being nice, I've tried red pill strategies, but literally the only thing that ever works for me is just going up to random bimbos and having meaningless sex basically just to get them off.
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perhaps you are attracted to the sort of girl who wouldn't be attracted to you. try dating outside the box.
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are you boring?
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>>17300905
Oh what a terrible woe. Girls only want you for sex...HOW DO YOU SURVIVE?
You just haven't met the right one yet. Where are you meeting them? Bars and tinder?
Seems lame, but try something like match, there's going to be people on there that're like-minded with the whole relationship shill
Anonymous
Trying to strengthen my spirit and mind? 2016-06-28 00:58:12 Post No.17300904
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Trying to strengthen my spirit and mind? 2016-06-28 00:58:12 Post No.17300904
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Trying to strengthen my spirit and mind?
Anonymous
2016-06-28 00:58:12
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I understand how to make the body stronger.. but how would one strengthen their spirit and mind? I feel as if I have no idea how to do this? I hate the idea of being "Weak willed" Is there anyway to avoid that?
I am trying to grow as a human being as I feel I have stagnated. I am relatively depressed that some woman doesn't like me romantically and I feel as if she is probably the only woman I ever had a lot in common with.
Trying to cope with the idea that I will NEVER EVER GET TO DATE HER EVER. What a brutal feeling.
Anyway, how do you strengthen the spirit and mind?
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Put yourself through mentally taxing ordeals.
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>>17300904
>I feel as if she is probably the only woman I ever had a lot in common with.
That you've met. So far. In your short years of life. In a remote corner of the planet.
>How do you strength the spirit and mind?
Reading. Understanding. Not being a baby.
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>>17300918
You don't get it man. She was borderline perfection. I could spend the rest of my years waiting for another like her. She was so exactly what I was looking for that now she is polluted my dating pool. Now, I feel as if I have to find someone just like her or else its a waste.
But you get the gist. Also, I will try to do more reading. What do you recommend?
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How to end constant subconcious self-doubt?
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>>17300886
By feeling like you have control over your life.
>inb4 3deep5me
So something you normally don't take your time for. Look up things that are impressive and do them yourself.
Why are all the questions at the moment so short.
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>>17300886
I don't think you understand what the word subconscious means.
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>>17300886
Wouldn't subconsciously doubting your subconscious self-doubts effectively create a paradox in which the two feelings end up annihilating each other?