Anonymous
I really wanna fuck my friends mom. Serious advice needed though 2016-06-29 22:47:37 Post No.17307626
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I really wanna fuck my friends mom. Serious advice needed though 2016-06-29 22:47:37 Post No.17307626
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I really wanna fuck my friends mom. Serious advice needed though
Anonymous
2016-06-29 22:47:37
Post No. 17307626
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I figure this is probably the wrong place to ask but it's all anonymous so give me your best answers.
My friend is 23 and I am 21 years old. We met when I was 16 and he was 17. We both live in the same development just 1 neighborhood apart from each other. His family is really nice to me everytime I pop on over every couple of weeks, sort of like a second household/extended family if you can say. His mom however is still banging at 43 years old and she is such a massive cock tease. She is 5'1, petite, nice little perky ass (she goes to the gym a lot), she is a puerto rican/hispanic mix so mmmmm, and still looks fucking great for her age. I am 6'0, blonde hair, blue eyes, and in decent shape. I know she probably has a fetish for white guys because she has some germanic heritage to her.
The only issue is that this is somewhat a VERY risky situation to escalate even though she seems to be giving signals to me. She has been married to her husband who was an officer in the military. He is a very cool dude that is into the same hobbies I am, offers great advice about the military, and someone I can see as a very close ally if I ever got in a rut.
The problem is that I know if I make one wrong move or she opens her mouth about me escalating: I am going to get jumped without a doubt by a dude who has great military experience. Not to mention I don't really want to mess up my relationship with the household but if I can still make a lowkey hook up with my friends mom: I would do it in a heartbeat no shame. She makes intense eye contact when I talk to her, always offers me things when I am over (southern hospitality), bites her upper lip sometimes after or when I am talking to her, has tried to catch me checking her out (I am super sneaky sometimes but slip up rarely), and I noticed her husband does NOT keep her on a tight leash at all. I don't know if the trust is great or if the dude is so passive/busy with work. I can go into more detail in the thread.
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She also has gotten very WEIRD when I once brought over a girl for my buddy to meet and have a couple of drinks with during the Superbowl. Women get weird when there is competition so who knows?
She also seems to travel awfully quite a lot with her husband and when a couple of her friends are over: they always talk about a girls night at the bar. Code for: lets get hammered and find dudes. I have ran into cougars on "girls nights out" so I know exactly what is going on. She and her husband don't seem to have that much of physical relationship too. I have never seen them act all lovey, hold hands, a small romantic peck, etc... So the chemistry could be dead?
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She's married, this is a really bad idea
If she was single I'd tell you to go for it but she's married and even if she wants your cock the secret will eventually spread and you'll be fucked
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>>17307777
Quads of truth, don't destroy your bros home life asshole.
Anonymous
Why am I do bitter and grinch like? 2016-06-29 22:47:17 Post No.17307624
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Why am I do bitter and grinch like? 2016-06-29 22:47:17 Post No.17307624
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Why am I do bitter and grinch like?
Anonymous
2016-06-29 22:47:17
Post No. 17307624
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I really hate a lot of things. I hate seeing children laugh and play. I hate seeing couples smile. Hate seeing pregnant women.
Hate people who party. I am just super bitter abd I don't really know why.
Can I even be helped?
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>>17307624
pic not related?
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>>17307629
Pic is unrelated. Just me exercising my second amendment grinch rights.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awi14wDTxNw
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Hey guys.
Graduated last year. Having a hard time finding a job. Worked at a restaurant for a few months in the meantime and later quit to try finding a job. I've had two callbacks since i left. Here's my resume.
Please if you could critique it. Tell my anything thats wrong. What to change. Font. Lining. Wording. Anything helps.
I'm leaning towards working in broadcasting and journalism. I dont know if the restaurant job is worthy of putting there, since its a nice title to have as manager but not relevant in the field.
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Personally I think the layout is unappealing. Find a different template online. Remove the top paragraph, put Spanish in the skills section.
Also raise your GPA by .2, saying 3.0 sounds fake unless that's what you actually got, in which case keep adding digits like 3.0XX
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>>17307482
way too much fucking text
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>>17307495
Will do. I've been looking for a better template.
>>17307504
I literally just added that restaurant bit to see what it would look like. On paper this was about 1 1/3 pages. Will cut down.
Anonymous
Dealing with being sober 2016-06-29 21:38:39 Post No.17307456
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Dealing with being sober 2016-06-29 21:38:39 Post No.17307456
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I quit drinking about 2 weeks ago. I had been drinking a good amount, 6+ beers a day, for three years. I managed to still be productive in that time, I just finished grad school so I decided it's time to stop now that some of the stress has been removed. It felt like a breath of fresh air the first couple of days probably because I wasn't waking up hungover, but now I feel completely empty and ultra depressed. I feel groggy, sad, and I guess the worst feeling that I have is just general disconnect from the world, like I'm trudging through my day. Does anyone have any advice on these feelings? From the many sources I've read, the general consensus is it takes about 4-6months or even a year for your brain chemistry to completely adjust to not having EtOH. ...Or if anyone has any tips how they got through it, I'd really appreciate it. As it stands now I don't have any desire to drink, I just feel horrible I let it get that bad and it was a really dark fucking time. Thank you.
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i would recommend smoking weed for a bit
that said im a fiendish pothead who cant go a day without smoking weed or i want to commit suicide
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>>17307468
thanks for the reply, unfortunately I have a really high likelihood of getting drug tested within the next month or so. I enjoy weed a lot but I also kind of want to try to rectify my problems right now without doing drugs.
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It'll get easier with each passing day. I tend to do it every semester but ween off after finals with no problem. I haven't touched a drop during the summer with zero inhibition to do so, eithed.
You went cold turkey it sounds, which is more difficult. You can honestly improve your mood just by taking a jog or run through the park, that's what I do at least.
Hang in there, you've made it this far!
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I work at a help desk and for the most part there's a lot of down time. I usually just watch YouTube or play some shitty flash games but lately I've been sick of doing that for hours. What are some things that either productive or will help me past the time that I can do from the computer I sit at all day. I'm not really supposed to install anything in them. It can be games, programming, reading, anything.
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>>17307406
Write literature, save it on evernote or something.
Get a pen tablet if you like that and draw.
Take part in a forum.
I know it's easy but DO NOT waste your time on that youtube crap.
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>>17307406
If you're a decent writer and researcher, you can write papers and get paid.
But since I have you the idea, you will have to do mine for free.
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>>17307406
>I work at a help desk and for the most part there's a lot of down time.
Learn some shit for free while getting paid at work. Take the Server Fundamentals test in your free time and get your MTA. You can put it after your name and it doesn't expire.
https://mva.microsoft.com/?lang=en-US
https://www.amazon.com/Learn-Windows-PowerShell-Month-Lunches/dp/1617291080
Anonymous
ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2016-06-29 20:45:10 Post No.17307321
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything 2016-06-29 20:45:10 Post No.17307321
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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
Anonymous
2016-06-29 20:45:10
Post No. 17307321
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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
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Ladies, is power sexy?
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Girls, how is your view on engineers, nerdy or rather someone how has his shit together, perhaps something completely different? I am asking this because i know no other girls than my waifu.
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>>17307324
Not on its own
>>17307387
Nerds, though I might be biased because my brother studies engineering and he's the biggest nerd you could think you. I also tend to question whether engineering is something that the person actually enjoys, or whether they've fallen for the STEM meme. I don't think I'd want to date one, they tend to think logically to a fault, almost like a machine.
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So I met this guy at a bar, we really hit it off, went back to his car and made out, got handsy, whatever. He texts me almost daily, and we went on our first date a week ago. We saw a movie, but no one was in the theater so we talked the entire time, kissing occasionally and laughing. He had me feel his dick, which was hard, and he asked if we should go someplace. So we did, and we had sex, took a nap together, showered together... He continued to text me daily and be pretty sweet to me. We went out last night and again, talked a lot and I got to know him better. Towards the end of the night we made out in his car and I went down on him....
Now, I'm trying to avoid this idea of typical dating expectations because everything went really fast. I know I did most of it because I want him to like me, I was scared to say no because I hate rejection, but I also really wanted to because I'm a sexual person. Now I'm wondering if this guy only wants me for sex or if that's my own projection of fear. We talked for hours, he checks in on me and jokes like "you better not be out meeting other guys!" Now he's insinuating for me to come over to his house, which I'm assuming is just for sex. He's also European and I'm American so idk if they just move faster.
Anyways, can a relationship still emerge if sex is a huge part of the beginning of dating?
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>>17307196
It can, make sure you communicate what you want and be ready to walk away if you or he can't make certain compromises. Him bringing up exclusivity is a good sign, branch off from that and see what the two of you want and if it aligns, great, if it doesn't then at least you know now rather than when you're too deeply invested.
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>>17307196
Tried to sleep w my European boyfriend right after we met, been together over 4 years. He was more into a relationship than me. So yes, but not guaranteed.
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I haven't had a day off since a weekend in early December. My back is absolutely killing me, and my fiancee hasn't been able to get the walnut-sized knot out of my back. It's gotten to the point that she is nervous I have a herniated disk or something.
I don't have health insurance, so if I have to pick between a physical therapist, a masseuse, or a chiropractor, are any of them going to be able to help me walk again?
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>>17307179
I would go for a physical therapist
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Get health insurance idiot.
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>>17307179
Do you live in a 3rd world country? Or the US? How can you work that much and not have health insurance?
I've been having ringing in my ear for the past 2-3 weeks, after putting a Q-Tip in my ear. The past couple of days, my ear has been getting stopped up, and I can hear something that sounds like rain.
What do I do?
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>>17306978
never use que tips. they just push wax in. greatest scam ever.
there are different things you can do. the best thing i ever did was i went to some hollistic store and bought this weird thing you place over your ear, and through a paper plate with a hole, and you light the tip on fire, and the smoke causes the wax to come out. its really cool.
slower solutions are ear wax softener, and benzoyl peroxide. but it can take a few days of doing this to get it clear. it sucks.
i had great results just going to a doctor they have a machine thingy that shoots water at just the right pressure to unclog ya.
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>>17306978
There are people who can use devices to see in your ear and diagnose the problem. They usually have years of schooling and training to tell you what the underlying issue is. Sorry though, I forgot what they are called.
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>>17306978
If you think ear wax is the problem, pick up some ear wax remover from your local pharmacy. It's no more than 10 dollars.
If you think you may have something more serious wrong with you, call a doctor.
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Give me some advice, /adv/.
Recently, my significant other has been "distant" for lack of a better term.
It started about 2-3 weeks ago, when she suddenly started to seemingly ignore my texts. She would talk to other people and use Facebook, basically anything but talk to me.
I talked to her about it, and she said she was just busy. I thought the answer was bogus, but I have her the benefit of the doubt and just accepted the answer. It kept continuing, so I asked again. This time, she said that she just hasn't felt like talking to people lately. I thought this answer was bogus too, and I pointed out how she has been talking to her other friends and even skyping friends. I then told her that she can talk to me when she wants to again. She stopped talking to me for 2 days. After those 2 days, she texted me again saying that she just needed some space. I accepted that answer, and she started acting normal again, and I thought everything was back to normal.
I was wrong. She's started ignoring me on some occasions. When I asked to hang out, she said "we'll see" and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.
The next day when I asked if she wanted to Skype, she ignored me for the rest of the day. Sometimes I won't even ask to do anything and she'll ignore me.
I'm not sure what's going on. I told her that we need to talk when she gets off work today, so I'm waiting on that.
And advice? Opinions?
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>>17306959
Is this an online relationship?
"Yes" - Find a RL girl.
"No" - Stop treating it like one.
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>>17306977
It's not.
What exactly do you mean stop treating it like one? I'm not doing that?
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How long have you been together? Is this something that you've sunk years into? If not, I think maybe have one more talk with her, explaining that she needs to be more responsive so you don't end up wasting your days waiting on the slim chance she'll want to be with you.
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Why do women dislike when people find their bodies attractive?
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>>17306921
Well, if I said hello to everyone that enters the coffeeshop, then they'll assume I'm some homeless beggar and I can be kicked out of the building with just that presumption.
Anyway, my god, "misogyny" is tearing this country apart. Now I need advice: What's a good place to move to when the USA crashes? I hear Ireland is a good place to be in.
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>>17306921
They only mind when the person saying hello to them isn't attractive to them. This applies to both genders.
Also, that dumb bitch in your picture needs a punch to the jaw.
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Are there people that really have a stick this far up their ass?
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Just learned I have Prosopagnosia (face blindness). Does anyone have any tips on how to live with this? Maybe I should just end my life so I don't have to deal with it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia
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>>17306903
>end my life so i dont have to deal with the fact that i dont recognize faces
jesus this is the whiniest tumblr self diagnosis i have e ver heard.
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Find alternate ways to recognise people. Try to recognise their voice, their body shape, their body language.
If you're out with a group of people, Maybe have one or all of them wear some kind of noticeable bracelet so you can recognise them.
What's your experience with it? Is it severe?
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This is a picture of Gustav Fröhlich on set for the movie Metropolis (1927). Can you distinguish his face?
Hey lady anons, do you have any advice on orgasming. I have never had an orgasm (well not a vaginal one, only clitoral) and i really want to. It's about time i did anyway. Any tips on what i should do? What i should tell my partner to do? He's admittedly pretty small "down there", does that matter? Ugh help help help
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>>17306803
>What i should tell my partner to do? He's admittedly pretty small "down there", does that matter?
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>17306803
> vaginal orgasms
That exists? I was happy to think a man was capable of giving me an orgasm in the first place.
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Male here. Was married for nearly a decade and my wife never orgasmed. I thought it was my fault, even though I'm 8 inches and proportionally wide too. After the divorce, I banged out a few or more sluts, and they had no problem orgasming.
After what I've learned, I've decided it is almost always the girls fault. Asian chicks orgasm all the time in jap porn, and those dudes have tiny dicks. Maybe your guy needs to jack rabbit you like the asian dudes do. There's also the possibility you just can't orgasm from vaginal stimulation, which I heard is fairly common for chicks.
I need someone who's good at immigration law to help me write a letter to help me cross the Canadian-us border so I can learn about a medical procedure through "Observationship"
I've been denied entry and red flagged before because I revealed to the officer that I did hands on work on people
A lawyer told me he would help me for $3000-4000.
How do I get this done for free or very cheap?
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>>17306750
Please be leaving the US
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>>17306751
I'm not in the US
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>>17306750
>I've been denied entry and red flagged before because I revealed to the officer that I did hands on work on people
Wat
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Are these any good for condom transportation? Any other alternatives are welcome.
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>>17306716
Just layer 5 condoms on your flaccid excite bike so you'll always be prepared.
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>>17306729
Dude I fucking loved excite bike
You win the Internet, good sir or madam or tranny.
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>>17306729
kek