Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4685. page

one day at a time

>>17349319

>Speech

Simply. You can also hire professional writers for this.

>I gotta come up with money

Not a big deal. You have a job already. Put a little bit to the side and sell some belongings online. How much do you really need?

>I need to find a girl to bring that's hotter than my ex

If this is a real problem for you just hire a high class escort

>could easily see my brother bringing my ex as a plus one because they've been friends since childhood and have known the groom since we were very little so I need a girl prettier than her

You should be more concerned with the fact that your brother was probably banging your girlfriend when you were together.

As for your legal shit, that's what lawyers are for. Just fucking relax.

>>17349347
My brother is gay

Fast forward two months, current day.

Yes there is fault in me too, I know. I maybe argue too much and maybe shouldn't have been trying a girl who didn't want a relationship in the first place, but it still feels wrong that she's been leading me on like this. Why not break it off 2 years ago? Why start talking to me again? Why fuck some dude to get over me, when there's nothing to get over about?

And yes, we didn't even fucking have sex.

>>17349318
Because it is your fault for throwing a fit like a child because another person who didn't feel the same way didn't just cast aside their emotions and become your lover because you told them you have feelings, bonehead.

You got to the point that it was arguementative because, what, I assume you're still a little sore in the ass because she didn't just fall in line with your idea? Don't talk to her again, quit being an obsessive shit. She isn't the end all be all of women, I promise you that now.

>>17349320
Truly a cuck

Simplify, simplify.

Make the food she likes. Buy her a gift. Think about what she enjoys and take her to do that.
Hell, even just going and doing something as dumb as a picnic can be great.

Just celebrate her. Show her you appreciate her. It doesn't have to be the best thing in the world, it just has to show she's one of the best things in your world. Make some memories with her. She'll appreciate that much more than just trying to validate her with some shallow gift.

What you will do is very simple and might not cost a lot. Make her a little cake. And YES, if you can ready, you CAN make a cake. No excuses. Doesn't have to be perfect. It's the thought that counts. Go to a comfy place, make a bonfire, take a blanket with you. Give her the cake and put a candle on it. Sing Happy birthday or just wish her one. Also bring a bottle of wine and music.

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Please help.

Now on this weekend my gf went to visit her for her birthday (she even crafted a handmade nice present for her). They had a great time, she only texted me some good night messages and I let them do what they want. It’s her friend, she can have as many free time with her as she wants. Everything seemed fine. Now my gf came back from her and remembered that she forgot to tell her that my gf and I booked a vacation for end of august about 5-6 days ago. Then her best friend erupted once more. She told her that my gf had to tell her beforehand if she does such things and that my gf is «totally inconsiderate» of her and apparently doesn’t want the friendship between my gf and her anymore. This naturally made my gf unhappy and even a bit angry cause she felt she did nothing wrong. My gf often made concession (texting here when we’re together or phoning, visiting her, and all this stuff without me which is totally fine for me). And now she doesn’t know what to do and I’m at a loss of advice I can give her. So far I told her that maybe It’d be good if they sat down and talked about all this instead of all these messages. Honestly what am I to do? It makes me nearly angry when my gf gets so much unfair (from my point of view) treatment. I dunno if that’s only me but I think my gfs bestfriend should be happy for her that she also found some happines in her lovelife? None of my friend bother me that much cause i saw them a little less often as of lately, everything normal, so I can’t quite grasp what is going on. Does anyone of you have any advice on how to deal with this situation? Should I do anything at all or just listen? Am I not seeing something obvious?

(2/2)

Before doing any of these, ask your gf for the O.K. to get into their business.

Option 1. Let them figure it out if you don't know her friend personally. If the problem branches out to the point where you have to fight back, try and confront her friend and talk to her? Get to know her friend and try to make yourself seem like a guy who won't hog her best friend to yourself.

Option 2. (AVOID AT ALL COST) If it comes to the point where things get toxic, tell your gf to not be friends with her. Save this for last, you don't want your gf to be unhappy.

Option 3. I GUESS you can try to sort it out, but I recommend getting on her friend's good side before starting a debate. Maybe get your gf to have her 'free time' to hang out with her best friend? I don't know. Her friend seems like the clingy type who makes false assumptions because they're paranoid about losing friends (like mee hah).

>>17349408
To Option 1: I asked her and she shared all this with me by herself and said she is happy if I have some advice. I've seen her friend a few times (3-4) and got along well with her on these occasions. I just don't have any regular contact, e.g. her phone number or whatever.

To Option 2: My gf sometimes even said that she feels under immense pressure to always have to write her and she is generally unsure of the friendship, but i wouldn't wann be the dude she loses her friends over, that would seem like just what her best friend expects.

Option 3: Well her friend lives far away and herself didn't come to visit my gf. but she can't afford to travel their every weekend. When they're together I give them space and don't expect any messages from my gf. And whenever she wants to spend time with her friend I let her, no problem for me. My gf herself just seems hesistant to even want to spend time with her because she is "toxic"

>>17349265
>then what happens to those people?
They find people who are okay with those flaws and tolerate them. Or at least get stuck in a situation where neither can really leave. Or they just end up alone

>why does one assume the other needs to leave as if they're healthy?
People change. People's true colours emerge as you get to know them. The 'broken' person may have been able to hide their flaws until later on in the relationship. They may also be 'broken,' but not necessarily

And don't forget, people can improve. For example, if a girl leaves a guy because he's a manchild and no amount of her talking to him about it will make him change, then maybe the act of her leaving him over it will motivate him to change (or maybe he'll just mature). Things that happen in our lives affect us, and they may be a catalyst for us to improve where we previously though we didn't need to.

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The whole "don't try to fix people" thing doesn't mean only perfectly healthy people can have relationships. That would mean virtually nobody can. It also doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with someone with issues. What it means is that you will have to deal with the problems that come with it. You have to accept that it might be they never change. And you need to be ok with that. This isn't easy depending on the issue. But those people telling someone in a relationship with a person with issues always forget that the other person most likely is equaly fucked up. Maybe not as obviously, but still. The advice means that you can't get into a relationship with someone with severe depression, expecting them to be full of energy and happyness and then get pissed at them when they don't. Or think that being with them will suddenly make them happy and healthy again. Or even worse, start making ultimatums like "either you start eating normaly or i'll leave". Sure, it might be that you have to leave because you can't handle the things coming with the issue. That's ok. But don't blame them for not "making an effort and change for me". People CAN'T change for someone else. And if they haven't had it in them to adress whatever they should on their own, your mere presence won't change that. It IS possible that being in a good relationship might give them strength and energy to slowly change things. But you can't EXPECT it.

>>17349276
Also, most of the time, those issues emerge only after being in a relationship for a while. That's why it's important to take things slow and not get married/move im/have kids immediately or you will be stuck in a relationship with someone that has issues you can't handle. It's also why it is so fucking important to not put up an act. If yoy don't show yoyr partner your "true colors", they can't make a conscious decision about being able to deal with the whatever issues you might have. I think this is the one reason most relationships fail

>>17349252
Why not just join your local lgbt

>>17349263
Because

1. No.

And

2. Absolutely not.

>>17349269
Why?

Let me guess

"I'm totally not gay I just want to fuck boys in skirts!"

Is that it?

>>17349238
How old are you OP?

>>17349239
Seventeen

You haven't really expressed anything you need help with other than "Am sad, tell me how not to be."

If you think the majority of the people here have found the answer to that question you really are barking up the wrong tree. People wouldn't be here if that were the case.

Shitpost from your phone in bed like me

>>17349219
Good job

>>17349218
Try a warm cup of milk?

"I'll bend the rules, just this once" or something like that. And then you should have fucked her

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>>17349210
Wtf? You better fuck her, and fuck her so good you put her to sleep right after. Otherwise she will just get fucked by Chad.

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>>17349210
>Denying a girl sex after she begs you for it

The absolute madman.

>>17349196
You're a shitty person if you don't mention it. You are a shitty fucking person.

>>17349201
Why? Its not transfered through saliva theres no way for her cat to get it unless they fight. And we both said our cats are pretty shy.

I own two cats and they share a water bowl/ food and the other has not gotten it.

>>17349207
They could still fight, even if they're both shy. I've had shy cats who fought when in each other's presence.

Try again in 6 or 7 levels of irony, my man.

>>17349297
You are like little baby. Now watch this...

>>17349297
SUCC

The one time I got fucked up on Xanax, I had done Xanax before but never felt anything from it really. So, I decided I'm a big guy, over six foot, and 200+, so I decided I'd take two bars.

Ooooweee, I'm glad I didn't have shit to do that day, because I think it was about 3 PM, and I blacked out for the entire evening, night, and into the late morning when I finally woke up.

I was just glad I remember to turn the stove off, because I was making a pizza right before I took the pills.

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>>17349791
>I'm a big guy

Benzos are awfully dangerous for a casual high. Smoke fucking weed you actual homosexual.

>>17349140
I can't fucking stand people like you that make such a big deal about bf/gf wannabe adult anniversaries, birthdays, and any sort of instantly gratifying annual bullshit. Go fuck yourself.

Unless it's only about birthdays n'shit then I would never care. I'd care about more important things though, If he is treating you like shit overall or not.

>>17349140
He's right about forgetting, what's the point of celebrating you're in a relationship since a certain amount of days? You should rather focus on how happy both of you are and were in that relationship. People tend to think more about the length and stability of a relationship than its quality.

>>17349133
Yeah dude it sounds really hard being big and alpha. Gosh all that sex must have been terrible. I'm feeling really bad for you right now.

>>17349142
It ain't about sex. Everyone thinks they want sex, but the wrong kind will make you feel used.

Oh man did I finally found someone who's been through the same thing as me?
Well, I usually lowkey dated people who became depressed as heck and called themselves a hopeless romantic, but then we slowly drift away and not talk to each other for a while (I'm still good friends with a couple of them but we both don't like bringing up that topic), and you feel like you've been used so people get a boost of happiness and self confidence.

what matters the most is being honest with yourself, no matter what it is and try to fullfill your inner dreams

>>17349108
my inner dreams involve me being a normal girl like any other, and having a loving husband. which honestly seems impossible.

>>17349110
nothing is per say, normal, in our world, just mundane task every day.

so go out and be yourself, seek love and you will find love. nothing is impossible, so be brave