How do I stop being a yes man and stand up for myself ? I'm fucking scared of any type of confrontations whatsoever, I can hardly make eye contact and I always mumble.
>>17369334
by not being a yes man and standing up for yourself.
there's no magic trick, magic pill or magic words that will fix this for you. you do by doing.
>>17369336
You make it sound so simple and it probably is but I feel like I'll just come off as an awkward spaz.
>>17369348
>you make it sound so simple
>thats eaiser said then done
>its not that easy
we get that a lot. and again i say
>no magic tricks
life isn't meant to be easy. its not easy for anyone else standing up for themselves, they just know its better than the alternative, and once they work their way to knowing exactly how to do it, they realize that its better to be a spazz that people dont mess with than it is to be a spazz that everyone walks over.
nothing is meant to be as easy.
I think there's something wrong with me, but I don't know what it is. I can't handle losing people.
I broke up with a long term girlfriend over Christmas. We had a very toxic relationship and I really didn't care about her. There was no love and although we tried to make it work we just ended up arguing. Then, a few weeks before Christmas, she ended it. Just said she couldn't do it any more. Suddenly, all my ambivalence left me and losing her became the most crushing thing in my life. For a month, all I could do was drink Whiskey and play video games. I was a mess over someone I didn't really want. I just couldn't cope with her leaving.
Later on, I hooked up with a woman called Jen. We saw each other casually for a while and it was all good fun, but we knew it wasn't going to last. We had very different aspirations and outlooks on life. I even said to friends it was a casual thing for when University is over. Then, when we said our goodbyes I cried like a baby. We had long talks about maybe making it work, but ultimately not. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, like I was losing the love of my life over someone who was a casual fling.
I don't have an issue with rejection, I meet it constantly as part of my job. Why is it when partners move on, no matter how much I want to see them gone at the time, they suddenly become gold dust and I beg them to stay and it tears me apart emotionally.
The worst part? My ex, Jen and another girl I'm still talking to all three trying to "make it work". I have no plan on how I can do that, I have to let at least 2 of them go, and I know if I don't fix this, more will be added as time goes on.
What is going on?
>>17369333
Man up.
>>17369351
Real mature.
Next.
>>17369333
you genuinely sound like a bitch
nice trips tho
Just broke off a long term relationship with a girl.
When it was good it was great, but when it was bad it was unbearable, and it was bad a lot of the time.
How do I stop myself thinking of the good shit and remember only the bad stuff?
>>17369311
Sounds awful. Just forgive her and blame yourself that's what I did.
Feels liberating after the shame and remorse passes.
>>17369311
Don't try to remember either. Move on, nigga.
C'est fini.
Write down the reasons you broke up. REALLY WRITE IT DOWN. Can be done in the "notes" of you phone so you have it with you all the time. Read it when you feel like it hasn't been that bad after all. Thank me later
It seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try I can’t get a job. I’m a 20-year-old male living in NC. The last job I had was about a year ago and it was the first job I had ever had. I worked retail from 2014 to 2015. Long story short, I quit that job because the management was going to shit.
While I’m living with my parents and going to college, I feel like a fucking loser because I don’t have any income. I’m tired of my folks giving me gas money and the like, even if I did house work for it. I want to earn my own money again through a real job. I’ve been applying to jobs left and right and even walking into stores, looking sharp, with resume in hand. I have no criminal record, I was never late to my old job, I left on my own terms (gave my 2 weeks), and even my pervious co-workers would put in a good word for me. I even have lots of volunteer work in various areas as well. I don’t think I’m perfection or some amazing worker that anyone would be privileged to have working for them and I’m sure there are many others like me but goddamn I can’t catch a break.
What do I do /adv/? The constant applying and rejection is starting to get to me. Any help or advise is much appreciated.
>TL;DR: What can I do to get a job?
im having the same problem as you are. i am also 20 years old living with my mom. she also give me money cuz she feel bad for me and i always tell her not to give me any and use it on herself anyway my advise to you my friend is the same advise my friend told me. LIE just lie in your resume. lie in your interviews and lie until you get what you want. the reason is because most people these days want people with experience. they dont wanna train anybody cuz it waste there time but either way they gonna have to show you how its done.the only way for you to get experience is to get a job and the only way to get a job in this era is too have experience. once you get the job, learn everything about it and if you get fired then lie to the next job then the next and so on cuz its not really about the job, its all about experience hope my advise help you cuz i know it helps me a lot. i live in nyc and getting a job here is pretty challenging
I'm in a similar position too and live in NC as well. I've been working with my dad until I find a job which has been for the past year or so now. Do you live in bumfuck nowhere with just corn and tobacco fields all around? I do, and it's so fucking hard to find a job around here. It doesn't help that half the population appears to be niggas that would rather hire fellow niggas than hire a white boy. Some places I don't even see one white person employed.
>>17369427
That all kinds of shitty Anon. I live in Wilmington, so I'm here with retarded college kids and old, rich Northerners who moved down South to make our lives hell. Good deal of nigs in my area but your more likely to see super liberal yuppies running around than anything. It's hard to get a job here due to the colleges and vacationers in the area. Once a job is posted its already gone.
I have 21 years and started going to clubs recently (I have been a nerd almost all my life).
How do i fucking hit on the girls? im well dressed and clean (obviously) and i go with other 2 male friends but we are too shy to approach or talk to girls.
Any advice?
>>17369235
you just approach them. theres no special batsignal they send, they're approached all night.
Well you have friends, I'd hit on girls if I had them to support one another.
Give them $100. Every time you hit on a girl they have to give you $20 back, until you get it all back. If they still have any at the end of the night, it's theirs.
Aww, that's really cute.
You just have to try and try again till you find one that's drunk enough and thinks you are somewhat cute
Ask a dipshit who can't get his own life together for advice. (That's me.)
What advice would you give yourself?
>>17369234
no thanks
>>17369238
I wouldn't.
Hello, I've been depressed for eight years. When I say depressed I don't mean 'sad' depressed or even having that bad life circumstances. I mean completely numb and dead to the world, I haven't felt any emotion in years and whenever I can feel emotion it's crippling pain and misery.
I've been on long stretches of 4 different drugs, none of them helped ease the grey nothing inside me even a little bit.
I've learned to pretend to be OK because you just can't live a normal life if you feel nothing so I invented a persona.
I've also had at least 100 hours of therapy of varying kinds, probably spent over £1000 on it, and none of it made even the slightest difference.
Please help me - what could I do to stop this madness inside me and stop wasting my life being an emotional zombie? I will dump some nice paintings every ten-fifteen minutes.
>>17369230
Bump I'm in need of help here
>>17369330
>>17369230
Become a Catholic monk, they'll validate your suffering as a natural part of material living and give you a promise of a better life after death. Meanwhile they'll put you to work and keep you productive in service of your Brothers and spreading the word.
>Telling your girl friend that after 3 years that you think the spark is gone ?
I am the world to my girlfriend (who suffers form depression) and she regularly tells me im one of the few things that makes her happy, but this isnt really the case for me anymore.
everything has just become really shrug-able, its not even like i know any other women or have a broad social life its just the relationship has gone stale, no excitement.
Has anyone else here been in a similar situation?
I will answer some questions if anyone has any.
im in the same situation. just coasting right now and haven't yet completely pulled the plug. the more i get busy with my life, the more she's trying to hang on
>>17369227
just like life, you gotta work at making something worthwhile. you need to try and make your relationship fun.
that 'spark' is mostly the honeymoon phase, but if you treat the relationship right, that spark can light a fire.
that being said if ur just done, get out of the relationshi
>>17369227
I'm in the same situation man!, Just dunno what to make of things. Seems like we are on the verge of separation. Conversation is dry
Memory problems?
> "remember" one thing do study/see/buy/etc
> forget in less than a second
Halp?
Happens to everyone.
Smoke less weed. Unless you don't want to.
>>17369205
Need humanity
Hi /adv/
Some story for context.
From 18-21 (current 23) i slowly developed some heavy alcoholism, laying around all day amounting to nothing etc..
I got myself a gf who was super active, we worked out alot and she was a good influence on my habits, got a job during this time which i still hold. I was an active alcoholic though. I was pretty much just a mindless bitch with no opinions, drivers license, alot of free time and a dick, so she found me convenient and dumped me when she felt like something else a year later.
When she broke up i felt like change, i thought id do a week without alcohol and the resulting mess was HELL. The physical changes and mental anguish i experienced when i quit convinced me to make a new years promise not to drink the whole year. It was a huge success. Ive never been happier and more balanced in my life, i was an outright superman, man. Habits where those of astronauts. When the year had passed i started drinking at parties and such again and i still dont feel like alcohol is an issue.
>I think that ive merely replaced it with weed though.
For 3-4 months my majority of days have ended with weed, im not going out as much, im not cooking as well or as often, exercise sporadically and rarely.. a whole host of generally lazy attitudes have developed recently. My dealer is a friend now, i sort of go to him just for the company sometimes.
My question to you is this: can you ever balance these things if you demonstrably had an issue before? Am i simply an addict and need to abstain? I actually dislike alcohol a little bit now, i get headaches easily and i really only drink for social occasions. Weed has become a blatant issue however, ive seen this shit before in another form.
Weed does fit me better and i would love to be able to indulge a bit now and then. Taking everything off the table was never something i was ready to do, im still young and i still feel the urge to experiment.
I wonder if i need to make a permanent decision.
Yes, weed can fuck you up. Work on reducing how often you smoke.
>>17369200
OP don't blame the pot. maybe you just need a less potent blend of herb. or try drinking coffee with it at the same time.
if youre gonna have a monkey on your back, might as well keep this one. weed is like curious george. alcoholism is like a silverback gorilla with a bad temper.
also the other obvious choice is to not smoke until the sun goes down. smoking all throughout the day is a lot less fun in my opinion. better to save it until you are out of work and doing something you enjoy.
just whatever you do, don't use any chemical or drug as a coping method. that's when shit gets hairy
>>17369229
>not smoke until the sun goes down
I do like this idea, to have some sort of environmental check. Not really achievable where im at though as the sun is either up all day during summer, or gone all day during winter.
And thanks, ive already been in that hairy space though so i think i learned that lesson the hard way.
Is anyone else just not feeling like they're connecting with everyone else on the recent fallout from terrorist attacks, police shootings, and celebrity deaths in 2016?
This isn't me being edgy - I think these are all horrible things, and people should cut this shit out and get along. But I see people use words like "exhausting," "traumatic," and "life-altering" to describe their feelings about 2016, and I'm over here going "nothing I can do about this, I'll just move on."
My Facebook feed is full of rhetoric and debate and I just wanna talk more about Pokemon Go. It makes me feel like I'm missing something in my heart or soul. The best I can think of is that my uncle shot himself in the head a couple of months back and maybe I'm just numb to everything at the moment?
Anyone else?
I know your feel.
Worrying about it all doesn't do any good to me, so I just try to ignore most of it
what's it matter, the bomb's gonna drop in a few months anyway
2016 is certainly fucked but actually op I think you have the right idea; embrace the absurd and all that
>>17369142
>people use words like "exhausting," "traumatic," and "life-altering"
I didn't know third-graders even knew what those words mean.
how to get fwb to lose weight?
Tell her to lose weight.
>>17369133
isnt this a bad idea in general
>>17369126
If you don't like her body, just get a new FWB.
It's not like you're with her because you have feelings for her, so find someone else to fuck.
Found out yesterday that my mom and dad are separating and that my dad is going to England to spend the weekend with some woman. I asked my mom if this means dad has been cheating on her, and she said I should ask him, which I take as a yes.
This all happened after they had a big fight yesterday where my mom was sobbing and moving all her things into another room and my dad wasn't saying much at all. Then I got the "dad doesn't love mom anymore" and was told they're taking a break.
I'm furious at my dad but I don't really know how to deal with this situation.
>>17369091
First of all, how old are you?
>>17369102
20, and I'm half moved out - custody isn't an issue
>>17369108
How long until you're living on your own? Also, what exactly is your problem here?
Describe your Current Or Previous Relationship In 1 Sentence.
Please Be honest.
One Sentence Can Tell A Big Story.
Whats Yours?
>>17369086
Puety good mane
>>17369086
it was one of the absolute dumbest things i have ever done, and i am very disappointed in myself for being so dumb for so long.
Shes a slut but I'm developing true feeling for her, please help
any psychological dream analysis?
i keep having dreams where i have sex by my former male friend. had them here and there when we were friends but a lot since i stopped seeing him. in the dreams he seems to want to hang out casually than sex happens.
also get them about his gf too but not nearly as much. whatsup.
>>17369084
>>17369084
don't need a fucking degree in psych to figure this one out.
and neither should you. you want to fuck dudes? go to a fucking gay bar. (most) faggots will fuck anything.