Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4600. page

You probably feel like you might cross a line and that makes you uncomfortable

>>17369838
Yeah, I do agree with this. Idk, I've never had a gf and I do feel jealousy at times seeing couples/hearing about this stuff. So maybe that plays into it.

But as you said I don't want to be too comfortable with them or be "good friends" or more than acquaintances.

Like if people saw me with a female acquaintance, people would think we were dating and though if things were different then I'd like that, but since it's not like that its feels awkward. I've had a case where a female acquaintance fed me and I was not comfortable with that at all, more so she has a boyfriend and I don't feel comfortable doing that in just a "friend like" stage. Whereas maybe other people would like it, but It just makes me feel shitty.

>>17369838
this desu

Ebay.
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1x-2x-3x-6x-10x-Lot-Micro-USB-Data-Lead-Charger-Cable-For-Samsung-Galaxy-S3-S4-/321483287398?var=&hash=item4ad9e5ab66:m:m0gx9NGps2J-rNZ1RTdMsLg

>>17369839
/thread

>>17369823
Are you building a bomb anon? Do you want to add to the glorious rows of habbenings lately?

I am not going to say uni is a waste.
I did it and i don't regret at thing. In fact i am going back for a Masters.
But don't bother if there isn't anything you actually want to study or you at least want to learn in general. Or less you will get nothing out of it.

>>17369892
>But don't bother if there isn't anything you actually want to study or you at least want to learn in general. Or less you will get nothing out of it.

Plus you'll probably do really poorly. You know lack of motivation and all...

That being said. A Business major can be pretty versatile, especially depending on which kind you get, but they're generally all pretty decent for getting a job in almost any industry.

If you are just starting college just take different classes that will meet your core requisites. It's not like you need to lock in a major yet.

To waste your money the least, go to CC, do two years there while you figure out what you really want to do.

Every major has its pitfalls; your business degree can get you anywhere from HR executive at a Fortune 500, or a shift manager at the local Target.

STEM degrees aren't the be-all end-all they're made out to be either. If you want to make bank in STEM, you're going to have to have some serious maths skills, and a decent work ethic to pursue what limited jobs there are.

Honestly, trade schools for STEM fields aren't that bad. Machinists and techies make some solid money, while having decent job security. Plus, the job market for them isn't that saturated.

Or, if you're a loner, get a CDL and start trucking.

Are you depressed?

>>17369795
I have no idea if I am or not.
I'm not happy but depression has to be horrible right.

>>17369804
You don't have to have major depression to be depressed. Don't know if this helps but I've had periods of time where I'm not as hungry as I usually am. You might just come out of it soon but, to be honest, I'm no expert. If you can maybe get a check up and talk to a doctor about it.
Hope you get it sorted out.

bump

really need unbiased feedback on this
it's a touchy subject with friends

>>17369789
As far as your friends feeding you it sounds like they pity you and are basically being charitable. Which might explain why they give you their time and affection, because they also know you have a crumby life. I wouldn't brag about this, nor should you think you're taking advantage of them.

I pick up the tab for a lot of my poorer friends and even co-workers all the time. I patronize them a lot too because it makes them feel better about themselves.

Now as far as girls being interested in you that could just be cause you're charismatic. But the big question is, do you end up hooking up with them or is it just nice casual banter?

I think you're looking too much into this "being genetically manipulative" thing.

>>17369899
it seems like you're more focused on taking me as a braggart and then further scrutinizing me than answering the question.

>Is it shady to do very well interpersonally?
>what if I'm not a good person
>am I a burden on the world by nature

pity is kind of a repellant in a way, just to let you know. it's having sympathy for someone while simultaneously being disgusted by them. people typically don't spend the majority of their time with someone they find gross.

>>17369782
>Think that this is going along too smoothly, something will go wrong
>So we actually do start talking and connecting very well but I always had the feeling that I'm unknowingly in a competition with 1+ other matches from Tinder
>I end up asking her out and she says she will be out of town this weekend
>also find out she lives an hour drive away, 75 miles, which is kinda fucked up bc I had Tinder set to 30 miles
>not a problem, "are you free next weekend, then?"
>gives excuse that sounds made up
>Tell her "Look, if you dont want to go out just tell me, I really don't mind"
>"It's not like that, anon. I'm just going through some personal stuff rn"
>Immediately feel like I am one amongst other guys way more attractive than I am and she still hasn't decided between us
Side Note:
>If you need to be told why its wrong to do this to people you are the problem
Back to the story
>Talked to her a little more yesterday, felt the convo dying very quick so I said "Well I gotta wake up early tomorrow, gn"
>Sit in bed for 2 hours feeling small
>Sent her a "Yo" message today and she just responded, at some point I want to ask if it is in her prospects to ever want to go out
>To this second been feeling like I'm still competing against other guys and it makes me feel like shit.
>Its like showing up to a race but having the other racers be in invisible, unknown cars

Tinder only managed to make me feel like shit because I live in the south and can attest to saying that 1 southern girl is harder to get than 100 northern girls, but 1 northern girl is worth 100 southern girls.

tl;dr I just wanted to get something off my chest

Anon don't take it personally the girl probably just wanted attention and was never looking to actually meet up with a dude anyway. Tinder is a shit.

>>17369831

At least you have the balls to make the first move man. Honestly don't let this bother you to much, get yourself to a bar ( Assuming your not American) and approach girls there.

I've been on Tinder a few weeks, hardly talk to any of the girls I match because I have no idea what to say. But a few beers in me and approaching women in bars isn't anywhere near as stressful.

Also, its easy as fuck for women to match guys on Tinder. In all honesty you'll be competing with more than 1 guy for her attention. I'm not good at Tinder at all, so I won't lie and tell you I know what I'm doing. But I've been told you don't want to message the girl to many times on Tinder itself, as at the end of the day its a hook-up app.

Good luck anyways man

>>17369757
>tfw haven't fucked up first love of my life
>tfw they fucked you
Go on

> be me, 22 years old, enjoying my newest app: Tinder
> Have had alot of success, some shitty dates but also easy pussy
> get matched with a girl 1 year younger than me, seems pretty enough: dick in full control
> Hit her up, she answers, we text for a bit until I ask her out, she has one request
> her: "Only if your aren't a dick driven asshole"
> me: "No" topkek
> the day comes, we joked a bit via phone before the date and I said I would bring a single rose
> she kinda laughed it off
> think to myself that it might be the most beta move, what if she doesn't like it and we have to awkwardly carry it around?
> say fuck it and buy one
> she actually lives quite close, god bless student housing
> we have to take the same bus to the city so we meet inside
> there are some other people and one might think that a situation like this would be awkward
> it's not, we hit it off and she actually likes the rose (I talk about the rose because it will be important later)
> two older women see us get off at our station, they make a remark how cute we are and that they miss their old days. Thanks bro grannys
> we go to a decent pizza place she picked
> date is nice but uneventful, we laugh alot and certainly klick
> the topic comes down to a german kids show we both enjoyed, I see my way in and suggest to watch it some time
> we set a date and drive home together (it got chilly so we hugged a little at the trainstation nothing more)
> movie date comes around, all I think about is possibly easy pussy
> she ain't having it, after a little kiss I'm sent on my way home.
> we meet several times, sometimes just for jogging, sometimes movies and shit
> never more than making out
> while all this unfolds I have about 3 chicks I frequent for casual sex, god bless chinese exchange students
> wondering if she is worth all this trouble
> one evening I stayed at her place, helping her study for a test the next day

Sweet this actually works. I'm just gonna dump, took me like an hour to write everything down.

So, the next year, 2015, I decided to enrol in an in-class 'Tertiary Preparation' course to supplement my lack of high school diploma. Primarily it was to get out of being obligated to look for work, but I also came to be enthused about the opportunity of earning a certificate that would allow me to go to university and 'catch-up' with my "imaginary" peers that I'm forever competing with. Long story short, it ended up falling short of expectations too. It could be completed within a year, and I made it about 90% of the way, but I let the work get ahead of me for a variety of reasons which lead to me being overwhelmed, missing days, then calling it quits. What plagued me throughout the year was obsessive thoughts and concerns about social interactions and maintaining relationships with people, something I was now rather unfamiliar with. Instead of paying my full attention in class, I was constantly thinking about the people around me; how I appear to them, how I should behave around them, how I should interact with them, should I go with them for lunch, are we going to walk together to the train station, ect. And when I came home, it didn't really stop, meaning no studying. It was due to feelings of inadequacy, comparing what other people around my age had done and achieved next to what I hadn't, because of the gap that was my late teens. Despite managing to make some friendships with some wonderful people, the stress of this constant inadequacy meant gradually distancing and avoiding them, until I cut them off completely via dropping out of the course.

(cont. 2/3)

A few months into this year, in yet another effort to gain some traction, I came to find it's still (unsurprisingly) a burden that's affecting my ability to pursue meaningful relationships. For about a month, I did volunteer work out on a farm and met some characters. Upon reflection now, I'm not sure why I would expected otherwise, but I still felt constantly uptight and unable to loosen up around people. The end point I guess of this whole post (I just started writing randomly) is that for a long time I haven't done anything and still continue to do fucking nothing, which is both a result and a 'cause' of my situation, but I've reached the point where it's hard to get up and do something about it after so many defeats. I think I started writing this because I was some empathy or sympathy, but what I -need- is some good solid direction on how to overcome this. When I wake up in the morning, despite having the highest desire for it before I go to bed, the last thing I feel like doing is going outside, to help give some perspective. I need some guidance in figuring out what my goals are and setting small achievable steps to gradually close in on them.

Hmph. I apologise if I've gone a little schizophrenic at the end there, I've grown quite tired and will probably hop into bed soon. I would deeply appreciate any advice. Thank you.

(3/3)

Oh god I'm tired as fuck, really appreciate anyone that has the patients to read through my bullshit, it probably could've been much shorter.

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>>17369719
>when I mentioned my feelings she said she doesn't want it to be where she can't hang with any of them if Tom is there
>Tell her I never stated this, it just feels odd I'm excluded
>It's not even that I feel I always have to be there, it just seems that anytime Tom hosts something I'm excluded
>she says she's frustrated that she feels she has to ask him if I can come, I don't know why she feels that way
>in the past she made a fb status looking for girl-friends who would like to work out with her
>Tom comments that he's down
>she "liked" it
>I came to /adv/ on that issue, when I asked her she said she wouldn't do it, just liked the comment out of courtesy? I shrugged it off but to me it shows Tom's intentions
>when discussing the birthday recently I brought that stuff up, she got aggravated I bring up the stuff from before
>we discuss all this with no hostility I should add, both of us have been cheated on and talk openly to each other
>however i learned in this convo that she had gone on a couple dates with him a little before we started talking, and that he kissed her once, she wasn't ready for it, felt it was awkward
>I told her she would feel the same way I do in my shoes, and maybe handle it differently b/c in our talks she's said she wouldn't even want to know if I've looked at another girl

I don't know if I'm mis-placing trust now. What has me feeling I could be wrong to mis-trust is that she feels excluded from the circle since her last breakup. They knew her bf but none of them liked the guy. Her "good friend" from the circle knew her ex was cheating on her, didn't tell her but told the whole circle. So they all knew she was being cheated on but never told her, she found out thru an acquaintance so she even questions why she tries staying in with this circle of friends

So I don't want to be the boyfriend who says they're not good friends, but they don't seem that way. And I'm frustrated that Tom's feelings for her seem to exclude me

>>17369719
>>17369753
Correction: I'm frustrated that it seems Tom's feelings for her seem to be the reason I get excluded. And it's going to bother me that night if she goes out with them for his birthday, knowing I'm excluded because of his feelings or me getting a little jealous and asking what was between them.

That's the story so far. Other than this issue our relationship has been great. But when this comes up things feel a little shitty.
I'd greatly appreciate any input and thanks ahead of time for your time and /adv/ice, it's never failed me before

>>17369769
>I'm excluded
OP the reason you are excluded is because of Tom and she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable. In most relationships it is assumed if one is invited the couple is so it is very problematic your gf doesn't see it this way.

Having said that it doesn't appear she will change so you either shut up about it and accept her relationship with Tom or you decide you will not put up with your gf in a close friendship with a guy that is in love with her and find you another girl that puts your relationship above a guy.

dude its fine go to the beach have fun and more than likely nobody will care if you have hairy arms or a hairy back.

This is hot. And I saw your undies :D Love hairy men, hairy like you. It's just as it suppose to be

and I'm a guy, yes.

Dude forget what I said someones gonna pummel your boipucci if you don't get that shit waxed immediately.

>>17369705
Almost everyone gets this, eventually your tips will form calluses and you'll almost lose the ability to feel with your fingertips.

>>17369705
Everyone starts like that. Just keep going and it'll get better.

This will get better after more playing. Guitarists have finger callous.

One word:
T H E R A P Y
If you cant make your self do shit you need to do because you lack motivation you may or may not have some real psichological problem at hand.
Other than that try all the normie bullshit on google about motivating your self. Pomodoro technique diary etc.
But I think that lazyness and lack of motivation can be a symptom of more deep problems you need to solve

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logo mais eu to ai e as coisas vão melhorar (nem que seja um pouquinho só)

>>17369702

This.
>>17369735

Yes. Get a boyfriend in real life to tickle you. It's not some fucking crazy shit you need to go online to find. Anyone can tickle somebody.

>>17369691

> but I'm scared they might be creep

>Hi guys, I'm here because I have this really weird fetish that gets me off, just like you guys, don't judge me.
>You fucking creeps.

Bitch, ever think you're the creep?
Also, if you aren't comfortable taking the risks that come inherently with online meet-ups, you shouldn't do them.
That's literally all there is to it.

>>17369706
I had two bf, both of them didn't tickle me after they found out I have this fetish. They tickled me before knowing it, but a very few times.

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Guy was lucky he didn't have a goatee beard.
The Muslims would have raped him.

>>17369671
This is a clickbait site
The guy is actually a thief, got caught, so they smacked his shit straight, took his clothes and kicked him out

>>17369716
umm, why? Why didnt just call the police?

tell her she's a cunt

>>17369645
Did you guys have a thing op? Romantic/relationship wise?

>>17369645
>same class in school for several years.
ok
>she always found a reason not to come (party, friends, study...)
>She always told me to come to her place (neither makes a big difference, we live only 45min apart). Then contact stopped. And every time i tried to get in touch, the same happened.
>NEVER did she contact me and ask me how i was.
I think there was a hint somewhere, try any of the above
>she wrote she'd see.
That's not a yes
>one night before she suddenly says 'she cannot' - 'don't be angry - smily'
>doesn't give any reason
Yeah you are really bad at taking hints.

Accept the friendship is over, I don't know how friendly you both were, but it sounds like you were just classmates.
You don't get to keep all of your friends, not even the ones you know for years, that's just how life works.