Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4597. page

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>gf said one day she has had anal with ex but didn't like it
>a few months later I bring subject up
>say I'd like to do it with her
>she says she won't do it ever
>says it was humiliating and it hurt her, and that she never told she did that to anyone but me
>tell her I'm very upset because she did that with someone else but won't even consider doing with me
>says she'd do anything to please me but that
>says if doing that is so important for me, I should go ahead and find a girl who will fulfill all my fantasies or a girl who is a saint and has'n't ever done anything

I'm completely obsessed about it. We like each other A LOT, but the thought that some guy out there fucked my gf's ass and I never will is making me fall apart. I'm seriously considering breaking up over it, even though I've never had a girlfriend before her and am in love with her.

I've talked to her 3 times about it, and she just won't change her mind.

What the fuck do I do?

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.

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Just do it, Anon.

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.

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Okay this must just be so vanilla for you guys

A girl lied about being on the pill to me and lied about taking the ECP.

I didn't cum, but im freaking out about pre-cum

She seems like an idiot from what I gather from our facebook conversation, but probably doesnt want a kid cause shes in university, although i dont know what she'd be like if push came to shove with the possibility of an abortion.

What to do team?

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Is it really true that everyone has something that they are good at or that gives them value? I have a lot of trouble taking steps to stop hating myself, mostly because whenever I read about peoples suggestions I identify the suggestions as being feel-good advice with no real substance.

Some examples:
-you should love yourself because you are unique (my immediate thoughts on that are that just because you are one-of-a-kind does not mean that you are valuable)
-everyone is good at something (I just don't actually believe it's absolutely true, more like almost everyone is good at something, except me)
-don't compare yourselves to others, it's a fruitless endeavor since you can't be anyone except yourself (while I agree that you can only be yourself, literally everyone else will always be comparing you against your peers so you're only hurting and deluding yourself by being unaware of how you stack up)
-love yourself because nobody owes you love, so you may be the only person who loves yourself (I agree with this too, but it's pitiful and also sort of deluding yourself. If nobody else cares for you is there something wrong with everyone else, or is there something wrong with you?)

I obviously don't want to hate myself so much but I have trouble accepting (as in don't accept) advice that sounds like pandering.

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How do I get a hoarder to clean or atleast organize?

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Hey lads
>Fat Loner
>Have a week at a beachhouse 3 weeks from now
>No matter what time I go to the beach, there will be groups of fit, young, attractive people there
How do I stop normies from ruining my week at a beach?

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maybe this can be a write a letter to someone who will never read it thread.

I don't know if this is the right board for this but I need somewhere to "vent" I guess

I miss you so much
I just fixed my old phone and found countless photos of you
I completely forgot your username and # to anything and I feel like a fucking idiot

we used to talk everyday and we shared so much.
exif data on your photos shows me your exact home address. coordinates. the date time weather at the time.
but doesn't even fucking tell me anything useful like your # or your username.

i wish there was a way to search user photos on Instagram or Twitter because then I would have found you already.

I hope you're okay, I hope you escaped what you were going through. thank you for being there for me too. I hope I can one day find your # or something because I really do need you.

if anyone knows how to, I'd really appreciate it.
thanks for reading.

-anon

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I don't get it? How can a human being do that to each other?
She was one of my friends. She lied to me about She was single,led me to the point where i introduced one of my male-friends to her so they could dated for (awhile without me knowing about it,i only helped them to other's numbers)
Today i met het at one of my favorite restaurant and she was with her (old) boyfriend. I immediately text my male friend to tell him stop having any delusional about her.
I'm feeling so bad. I thought we were friends. I helped her to cheating on her boyfriend.
What can i do now????

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So, I've had a crush on my cousin since we were kids. It gets to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I figure my cousin is a reasonable person, and would understand if I told her I had a crush on her. I tell her, she freaks out, and for a few months things were awkward between us.
Things are better now. I thought I could get over it though, but I haven't. I still have feelings for her. Now, I'm getting ideas like sneaking into her room when I visit and stealing panties or socks and I really want to have sex with her.
What do I do? I obviously can't vent this to her, and therapy isn't an option for me right now, so I'm kinda sitting on this for the unforeseen future.

>pic unrelated
>Will not share pics of her, so don't ask.

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Hello /adv/ i need some word on this.
Having trouble deciding if a should ask a girl out or not.
I think there's a 90% chance of her saying yes and i'm not fearing rejection here because we are somewhat friends and by our conversations i assume she likes me. We're in the same law school class and she's told me i'm smart because i've been helping her with some tests so there's that.
My problem is she's loves parties/social events/social media and already had like 3 bfs at the age of 20 and i don't really like that. I'm as introverted and lonesome as the next guy but i'm not insecure or resentful about it i just accept that as who i am and try to find someone who compatible with this.
I'm still very young and there's the >tfwnogf bothering me so i really don't know how to handle.

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So I have a weird problem, I think it's a mind over matter thing, I just want to know if this is normal or anyone else has it, maybe even how I can fix it.

So I gag. A lot.
>Inb4 "hahahahhaa you gag on cock faggot op"
No, I gag like I'm about the throw up. When i wake up in the morning and take a shower, I always gag, someones dry heave into the toilet. Im pretty sure that this has to do with being a nervous fuck, because I notice the more stressed out I am about something (EG: a test, or breaking the law.) The more I gag and dry heave.

Throughout the day, I gag a lot. Not in public for some reason, but when I'm alone. It's over nothing too, but I do gag easily when I see or smell something foul.

This obviously isn't social anxiety because it's easy to talk to people for me, and I'm not sure what to do, what do you guys think?

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recently turned 18 and started drinking at pubs etc. the de-facto "leader" of my group of friends doesn't like the custom of everyone buying a round of drinks, as it apparently "costs too much". Because of this, we all just kind of awkwardly buy all of our drinks for ourselves like a bunch of isolationists when we go out. Am I correct in thinking my friend probably has some kind of learning difficulty if he struggles to comprehend the rationale behind this universal tradition?

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I'm a SMART scholarship selectee. Sweet deal. Tuition is paid. $25k a year, cash. Guaranteed employment after I graduate for a # of years = the length of the scholarship (two years, for me). Includes a summer internship. Pay is low at first, but steps up drastically on a fixed schedule over two years (how the government makes some of its money back for paying for my education). Work isn't very exciting (troubleshooting jet engines for the Air Force), but not awful. Pretty cool.

I *also* got accepted into the NSA co-op program. Yeah, that NSA. It'll extend my graduation by a year, but pay starts high, comes with a TS/SCI security clearance, and is a world class organization doing work that matters. Will have to be there for 52 weeks over three semesters to complete the program. Pays while I work, but not other times, and doesn't pay tuition so money in the short term is inferior to SMART.

These are mutually exclusive. I have until August 1st to decide.

Complications/details: Married with three kids: 2, 4, and 9. When I'm gone, wife (who works) will be alone with them, plus help from grandma.

Worked in intelligence in the military, been my dream to make a full career of it since I was 18. I'm 33. This shot at NSA is probably my last chance, ever, before I'm too old.

There is a chance that if I go to work at NSA, I can be stationed in my home state, where cost of living is lower than Ft. Meade and wife can still work, be near friends and family, etc. But this isn't for sure.

SMART installation is outside my home state, but not far and still low cost of living.

My current discipline is electrical engineering, but I also have background in intelligence (like I mentioned), Arabic and the Middle East, and law.

So... safer, more lucrative SMART and give up my dream, but be able to practice patent law later? Or take my last chance, harder on my family, for a permanent and fulfilling career that pays less?