Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4590. page

I gave up on reading women and if I like them I just ask them out and see what they say. I get a fuckload of "no" but whatever sometimes I get "yes"

>>17372826
>>17372879
You guys are lacking brain structures or neurological development or somethin'

People are easy to read.

>>17372826
You just need to consider that when a woman has a sincere interest, but isn't willing to show it, it's their loss. They aren't willing to be brave and reach for something they want. Most of the time it's because they're just a little curious and don't have a real opinion of you. You aren't missing out on much from these types of women.

>>17372818
Ancient philosophers did that shit all the time. Eat only as much as necessary, not more. Swish water in your mouth and spit it out when thirsty, and only sleep when you can stay awake no longer. They of course spent their time studying, writing and living according to strict principles, but they were men just like you and I, and if they could do it do can you.

>>17372818
Try Soylent or a derivative. Contains pretty much everything you need to survive, is cheap, and easy to prepare. Taste is very vanilla and neutral.

you're in the honeymoon period of dietary restrictions where your body is utilizing its stored reserves to makeup for the daily deficiencies in your diet. soon that will pass and you'll enter starvation mode and then relapse into eating like a fat pig, which you must have been doing to arrive at such a ridiculous idea in the first place.

btw: i'm late 20s, 6ft, 130lbs and eat all day long, healthy foods. you don't need to starve yourself to stay thin, healthy, or to elevate your mind.

Be firm. She'll learn you won't leave her. But give into these demands of hers and you'll make your own life worse. You have to be the one to help her grow up, and it is the strong hand that she needs right now, not a gentle one.

>>17372789
not even two years and this chick is convinced she won't be safe without you? what the fuck kind of baggage causes that?

>>17372882
Talked to her therapist and has been told that I need to be firm, but her therapy is laid up so she takes things step by step to get better so she uses that against me.

>>17372823
Childhood phobia of throwing up, manifests itself in lots of ways like OCD-like behavior. Last fall we moved to a new city for her education and she had several panic attacks and couldn't reach me because phone was out. BIG stepbacks in her progress and even more dependant behavior.

Thing I missed in the OP was I had to skip school for over a month because she could not reach me once while in school so she had several panic attacks and cut up her legs in the 50 minutes that I did not respond. The times I've been out of the house after that I've had to be either on the phone or messaging every five minutes...

(cont) I couldn't stop screaming and crying the drive home, I kept looking for the perfect spot to drive right into and end my life, but I know how badly that'd hurt her and how unfair that is.

She truly was the best thing about my life, she made me so happy, just a few weeks of me being an ass ruined us, I can never forgive myself, I saw myself marrying her

I just don't know where to go from here, I have nobody to talk to know, she knew everything about me, and I could talk to her about anything, how am I just supposed to let her walk out of my life? And I'm sure I'll see her around which I know is gonna hurt so fucking bad

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to get it all out cause I have nowhere else to

Pussy

>>17372768
Ask her to give you a second chance

Then, I met a guy online. We started chatting, we got along very well and things started to get more "serious" between us, some feelings were also involved. He was from another city so I spontaneously went and visited him and - again: I started a mainly physical relationship with this guy - even though some more feelings were involved than with the douchebag before. But still, this guy had so many flaws and issues that bothered me which my ex boyfriend did not have; and I started to question whether the sexual gratification was worth putting up with the negative aspects. I ended up breaking up with him, too, even though I still think about him sometimes as the sex was very, very good and satisfying.
Well, shortly after that I decided that all these sexual experiences I made in the last months were NOT at all worth it, they couldn't compare to the general happiness and safety my ex-boyfriend gave me. And I convinced myself that it's normal to lose the sexual desire for one person after being together for some time, that it would also have happened with that guy from another city, and what would then be left? No sexual desire AND his flaws. But with my ex-boyfriend, there would still be love, and understanding, and happiness, and security and and and...So I decided to contact my ex-boyfriend again and, long story short, now we've been together again since the beginning of the year.

2/?

At first, the sex was a bit better, I was very positive that something might change.
But now I don't feel any sexual desire at all again. Not that there's no attraction, he's good looking, attractive, intelligent, he's 100% my type. But I just don't feel any lust. With that guy from another city, I just couldn't contain myself, we were mad for one another. But with my boyfriend.. it would feel weird to behave in the way I behaved when I and the other guy were getting it on. So I know that i'm capable of having great sex, and I remember that some time ago I did in fact have great sex. But now I just don't feel any desire. My boyfriend of course gets frustrated because he says he needs it and he always tries to make advances but that doesn't help at all. I feel under pressure and every tiny bit of lust is gone even though I, too, miss having sex, especially when I sometimes think of the couple of months with that guy from another city.

>tl;dr
I have found the man of my dreams and I want to spend all my days with him. But I don't feel any sexual lust FOR HIM anymore, while he does for me. This leads to frustration and anger in our relationship. wat do

I don't really know if what I'm writing makes sense. I don't even know what replies I'm expecting.
Maybe any similar experiences, any advice? I want to stay in this relationship, and he wants too! So breaking up again is no option.

3/3

>>17372742
>Tl;dr: i cheated on my boyfriend and i'm trying to rationalize something out of it

>>17372707
Well, why do you want to leave?

>>17372756
Feel trapped and miserable.

Been married 9 months or so. Thought I'd been sensible and taken it slowly. Was sure she was the one. Sure she had her faults but so does everyone and I thought my love would overcome it. But she's just turned into a turbo bitch.

Have to beg her for sex. She hasn't said hardly a word to me for 3 days. She hates my family. She dislikes her own family. She has no friends, no hobbies, no goals, no ambition.

I just can't deal with her anymore, I don't know what to do.

File: 11088538_364068673799968_5100901830378664625_n.png (229KB, 490x291px) Image search: [Google]

229KB, 490x291px

>>17372779
>she had her faults
>She hates my family. She dislikes her own family. She has no friends, no hobbies, no goals, no ambition.


Nigga wat
Those aren't fau;ts, those are the complete checklist for a fucking degenerate.

>>17372703
Only online?
>Does it get better as an adult?
Uh

>>17372709
Online, yeah. No one insults me in real life because I don't tend to speak much.

>>17372703
>when I'm called a faggot by somebody.

You shut down when an anonymous person on 4Chan calls you a faggot?

Who cares? Your harshest judge is you, who cares what other people think of you?

Just live how you want, say what you want to say. Nobody else matters.

If you make mistakes, learn from them. If someone does not like you, it's OKAY. Not all 7.3 billion people on the planet will like you. The sooner you accept that, the happier you will be

>>17372693
Drink water. Be productive. Grow the fuck up and stop smoking so damn much.

>>17372693
growing up

>>17372763
>Tells someone who smokes to grow up
>Is a regular on 4chan
Get your shit together, faggot

>>17372591
Okay, well, fuck Amazon. You can get all of the stuff in pic related cheaper at a medical supply store. May need to go to a dollar store for the helium tank.

>>17372591
Hey OP I bought everything except for the helium tank so far. I also bought a tarp at home depo in case when I die I make a mess (poop, or just my rotting body if it takes a while to find).

I'm debating using this method or a shotgun. I'm leaning toward the shotgun now that I have the tarp. The main reason? Effectiveness and also inability to chicken out. If I pull the trigger, then there is no turning back. Versus I'm afraid of fight and flight with the helium method causing me to save myself and end up a vegetable.

>>17372622
Well there's no way I'll be able to get a shotgun in my country, so this will have to do. Would it be a good idea to drink/take drugs beforehand?

She doesn't really sound all that great, man. You'll meet another one, and then you'll look back on this post and laugh.

>>17372589
>kill myself
>leave life on a high note
Not much of a high note.

I feel you, slept with this 10/10 girl I met a hotel while on vacation.
Thought to myself, shit this is the girl I'm going to marry. Few days later she checked out and moved onto her next destination. Have still some very minor contact through FB but she doesn't seem interested anymore.

I don't know what to do, she raised the bar so damn high, I used to be happy just to sex but now I just think of her and lose my drive.

>>17372572

She should confront the girl directly next time she's babysitting. Not overly aggressive or angry, she should just be firm and say "I know it was you, and you can't be doing things like that. Give the money back and it'll be okay." Give the girl a chance to come clean and do the right thing on her own. That's an important part of raising/caring for kids, you've got to make sure they know what the right thing is, and then see if they do it of their own free will.

Either way, she should also tell the parents what happened. If the choose not to believe her, that's on them. If the girl won't return the money and the parents won't believe her, then it's probably best she stops babysitting for them anyway. It sounds like she's losing almost as much money as she's making, lol

>>17372572
Tell her to get some of that UV cream (can't remember what it's called, they use it in healthcare training) and a portable, battery operated blacklight. Smear some if the cream (it spreads out to be invisible) on the money, and to frequently check her purse when she babysits again. When she notices money missing, get her to have the kid show her hands, and then use the blacklight. If the kid has touched the money, the cream will transfer to her hands, and will show up on her hands with the blacklight. Instant evidence.

>>17372572
Why doesn't she just hold on her bag or buy a crossbody bag and to hold on to it..?

>>17372512
You can work part time at a preschool or summercamp. Kids are very easy to talk to

>>17372512
Overnight stocker at a grocery store/Walmart.

>>17372512
warehouse job. But it's fast paced. However, they generally hire full time only, and you get insurance after probation.

You can find a temp agency where they need all the hands they can get. As a temp, you need to work hard, show initiative, and never be late or absent.

>>17372495
Hi anon,

My mother, brother, and I have been diagnosed with bipolar type 1. My mom, when she was 21 (before I was born), my brother was diagnosed about a year ago at age 27, and I was diagnosed as a 15 year old.

My mom and brother are more severe than I am. My mom has an inevitable episode every 2-3 years, but it has been more frequent since she has the hormonal stress of menopause.

My brother is also very severe, but this is because he is an addict. He was actually prediagnosed at 8 years old, but my mom didn't want to go any further into treatment, and avoided it until it was likely far too late.

My brother has been a victim to the system of the criminalization of mental disorders. He had a delusional manic episode which brought on his full diagnosis. And he went out into the streets one night, drunk, manic, and hallucinating. The police thought he was on a hallucinogenic drug, restrained, tazed him several times, and he went to jail for assault. We tried to fight for him, explaining his mental illness, but the judge would not take it. He spent over a year in prison, still manic for several months. And he had to deny any strange behaviors to not go to the mental asylum with all the violent psychos in prison in which they basically just sedate people and throw them in with each other.

Some mantras I have learned along the way are:
-Bipolar disorder is not fixable, and I have to work to be normal
-Bipolar disorder is not my fault. Like a diabetic needs insulin to stabilize, I need medication and self awareness to regulate myself as well.


One way I've really started is to, as objectively as I can, analyze myself and behaviors at the end of each day. Recognize when I am feeling escalated or low and combat it.

Therapy has worked wonders for me. I try to get my mom and brother into it too, but they only want medication. Do not get stuck in that thought. Therapy has helped me more than lithium has.

>>17372524
I'm very sorry to hear that and it makes me angry as fuck because when I was manic, I THOUGHT I was persecuted when I wasn't, but your brother really was. No offense, but are you an American? Your story sounds very American to me and your English skills are rather good.

And yeah, it makes me kinda bitter knowing that a lot of this shit coudld've been avoided if my dad wouldn't have been such an asscunt.

>>17372552
Yes, I am American.

I also had a lot of parenting issues growing up. Which is why I think therapy was much more beneficial than medication. My dad left my mom because he could not handle her episodes. And growing up with a bipolar mother was tough.

Several times, my mom abandoned me and my siblings. Especially when she started dating someone. Changes like that always triggered a manic episode. And she'd leave for days at a time, when I was like 7 or 8, she'd leave for days and my brother was in charge, and he was only like 13 at the time. He'd always go out, which I think was the starts of his addiction. He was always hanging out with the wrong crowd, got into alcohol and drugs at an early age. My grandma took the role of mother to us, she was loving, strict, but really enabled my mom.

When I was 10, my family revealed my mom's disorder to me when she was having an episode. I walked in on her attempting suicide. And all she could tell me was "I'm doing this for the benefit of mankind" It was really scarring and confusing to see that as a child.

My mom, still, is around 50, and when she has a manic episode, she acts like a teenager. She is very hard to care for.

My mom was probably the biggest "role model" in the sense that I realized what I can become if I don't take care of myself mentally.

I suggest using the struggles with your dad as an example to drive you to better yourself. Changing your attitude on these people in our lives is so beneficial.

My mother does almost the same. You probably don't want to let her alone as i did (When i've turned 21 i leaved home and got a job, renting an apartment in another city)

Let me ask a question: Is she under any medication effects? Specially antidepressants or something like this?

My mother has a rocky passed but I don't know a lot about it. She was a single mom for a short time before my father found her and later had me. In her 30s one of her parents died violently infront of her and the other died from disease shortly after. There's some rumor of child abuse but nothing substantiated. Additionally she grew up in the Soviet Union(don't think this one is too relevant). I'm saying these things because they may have contributed to the formation of this illness.

These outbursts have been occurring as long as I can remember(I'm 19 years old I go to a university but live with my family). Although the frequency has risen to nearly daily and severity has increased within recent years.

tl;dr

>My mother has always had loud, dramatic and sometimes violent outbursts about mundane things
>These happen daily and the whole family hates it
>She's had a shitty past


How do I deal with this? The only solution of foresee is moving out of the house. The time I spend away from her at the university or at my job is always so much more peacful than when with her.

Any advice or similar situations would be appreciated. Thank you

>>17372438
This is also continuation of my post (OP)

>>17372338
This again?
M O V E O N
O
V
E
O
N

>>17372338
you two already are not still friends. stop chasing it

>>17372338
This is the harsh cruel world we live in man it really is and by god does it suck. I'm 22 now and it really hurts me knowing that a lot of people I considered friends in high school are now just memories.

But this is what you have to come to terms with, not everyone in your life is here to stay forever, some are just passengers in your life and you in theirs.

But don't resent her for it, it doesn't sound like she's actively trying to end the friendship more that she's just thinking "Oh I'll catch him next time" or "I can meet up within the next couple of weeks or so." but without knowledge you two or slowly drifting apart.

This is how I used to think when I left high school and many of my good friends from then I hardly ever speak to anymore, although I've made plenty of new ones it still hurts to think about what could've been.

Anyway what I'm saying is man just let her know that you did consider your friendship special and although you've gone your separate paths in life you wish to retain that friendship. Hopefully she will get the message.

If not, you just keep living.

>One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given is "Everything happens for a reason, when one door closes another one opens."

Peace.