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So I'm old enough where I can exit the building, leaving five younger siblings and disabled mother to go live back in city. In city, got place I could stay for a year at most but that's for when I'm set.
Problem is, this girl I used to be good friends with wants/needs to rent an apartment with me. Her idea and she wants out of her situation. She likes me but has "its complicated with guy who moved away and doesn't talk. I like her. A lot. But two hours away from city, and without car, I'm stuck at speculation for now.
Apats are like $700 to $1,000 a month. Should I get decent one and work two jobs while she works and schools? Does it seem like a worthy situation? Any advice?
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Why do you want to leave? What happens to your place after a year?
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>>17375059
How old are you exactly? Any girl who has "its complicated" situation is a bad sign and should raise red flags. On that alone I would not even think bout advancing the relationship till its all clear on her end.
What many young people dont know is, its one thing to be in love with someone, its another to maintain it while living a working life. You will be under stress and less time to see each other. Do you think your relationship will continue as is? How clean is her lifestyle? Can she clean up after herself? Plus she will be studying and if she is only able to describe her exes history as just complicated, you have an immature girl still growing up.
Id say hold back for now and save up. Sit down and talk to her about moving to an app and how your routines will go.
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>>17375059
Also if she "wants out of her situarion" sounds like she is from a dysfunctional environment. That does not bode well as room mate or partner. I would say to back out. I know it sounds harah but any baggage she is leaving behind will follow her. You need a mentally stable and mature person to sustain an independent lifestyle. Maybe im reading too much into it but she sounds like she is not remotely ready to live alone.
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hi guys. I'm not good at making conversation, meaning there's alot of silence in it. To fill these gaps I tell lies. I can't keep track of these lies. how fix
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Don't tell lies, I did the same thing before I fucked it up.
"But i thought you said your boss made you a manager".
Anonymous
Just a general question 2016-07-20 07:42:09 Post No.17374990
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Just a general question 2016-07-20 07:42:09 Post No.17374990
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Would it be fucked up to talk shit about someone about something and then make jokes about the concept or thing you just talked shit about at that person?
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I don't think it matters, I mean you already talked shit and that's pretty much fucked up itself.
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I went (somewhat reluctantly) to talk to someone about some problems I've been having with reality, and the response I got was mostly just "deal with it." You know.. that's life, welcome to adulthood, etc.
I just feel even worse now. I mean, I know I can't handle a lot of things, and I was already aware it's a little pathetic compared to other people, but I don't know what to do about it. Trying to be normal AND pretending everything is okay is really hard.
I go to school, then go to work, then deal with some issues at home, and if I'm blessed to have a few hours of free time I don't feel like doing anything. If this is how it's supposed to be, life is not worth living.
How do people even have the time or energy to have families, or friends, or hobbies?
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Yes, we all feel that way from time to time. I imagine you're feeling very stretched between all of your duties and responsibilities. Start carving out a space for yourself. It can be 10 minutes a day or five hours a week. Do something you've always wanted. Learn cooking. Write music. Meditate. Write a journal. Do what your heart wants because thats what we as humans do.
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>>17374997
I do have at least 10 minutes a day, and I mean, you'd expect I would want to make the most of my leisure time, but I just really don't. Most of the hobbies I had required a bit of concentration, I played grand strategy games and stuff, and even just sitting down to watch an entire film, you need to focus a bit. I can't seem to manage that any more.
It feels better to use my off hours to just relax. I don't know how to cram my hobbies into a busy life. It just feels like more work, like I'm just doing these things because I have to, because I want to get them done, like everything else. I can barely be bothered to do anything that isn't absolutely required of me.
I don't know what happened. I used to be excited about things. Now I get a mild satisfaction out of watching and listening to other people have fun and talk about the things I used to like.
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>>17375081
One thing I find is the real and secret reason I get into a hobby is to talk to people. For example, maybe you had some friends who played grand strategy and you talked to them about the game. Perhaps you are looking for a new social activity.
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I frequently worry I'm dishonest (but just have totally denied it to myself to the point of not knowing) because I often can only understand and justify my actions and thoughts after some deliberation. Also, sometimes I might phrase something a certain way to imply something or hint at how I feel without saying, even though I don't think I'm too badly like that or passive aggressive at all aside from the slight reveal like that. No one considers me manipulative and I don't act malevolently. I also think (although I doubt my thoughts, as I've said, so who knows) I value honesty a lot and whenever appropriate try to be straight forward and open.
So what do you think? Are the things I'm worried about actually normal things? I think it might just be an obsession I have, since I have had OCDish tendencies about stuff before
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rereading this I guess I just sound pretty neurotic and this is petty as fuck, but I might as well bump
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>>17374803
Everything you describe is normal behavior. Relax.
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>>17375035
cool, thanks mang
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I'm cucking this Russian dude, emotionally that is.
OK so this girl who is a good friend of mine, has been coming over to hang out with me. She NEVER stops texting me, constantly
trying to start a conversation, even if it's a small thing like "omg did u hear about the X?" she just wants any excuse to try to talk
to me or an excuse to come over to me house and hang out. She usually takes a lyft to come over to my house and watch television
with me, yesterday we watched the RNC together. She's Algerian, 19 years old, and very touchy. She puts her head on my shoulder often and rubs my legs at times. Now I haven't done anything at all with her sexually because she has a boyfriend who is a nice dude. But
I would like to give her a kiss or two and see where that goes, and who the fuck can blame me? I've done absolutely nothing here, she
is coming onto ME. I've even mentioned other girls that I like to her and she tells me all the girls I'm into (but her) are total whores. Now Typically her bf will call her up after she's been watching game of thrones with me for 4 hours, she'll respond "I'm at anon's house doing blah blah blah, and he'll drive to my house and pick her up. I've invited her bf to come hang with us, but every time he does he's anti social and rushes her out my apartment.
It's bullshit, If I had a gf like this I'd dump her hard, it seems obvious I'm some sort of emotional outlet for her / father figure because her boyfriend is a beta tard, but every time I ignore her she convinces me to let her come over. TOday she wanted to come over for the third consecutive time this week. What do I do?
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u ask if she will lick your asshole. If she agrees you know its true love.
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Let the boyfriend know what the bitch is up to
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She is using you as her emotional sponge, (you are like a gay friend) probably after you talk with her his boyfriend fuck her hard and makes her swallow all his cum. Do you feel still want to fuck her m8?
Anonymous
can I be a PHD Historian? 2016-07-20 05:25:24 Post No.17374729
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can I be a PHD Historian? 2016-07-20 05:25:24 Post No.17374729
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can I be a PHD Historian?
Anonymous
2016-07-20 05:25:24
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It is my dream to go back to school and get my Master's/PHD in History just so I can learn foreign languages and sip coffee around a university all day, and I think if I went to a German uni first I could get a good PHD funding.
But I feel like I have to make a lot of money and I am tired of switching careers! And I am getting old (27m). Also no one respects an academic.
What should I do, /adv?
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You don't have to be a registered student to live in student housing. Learning different languages is easier with software and vacations in the country.
(Pic unrelated)
Wondering if there is a way to get into someone's IG account without them knowing. 99.5% sure gf is cheating, but this could be the final nail in the coffin. She deletes her texts, her calls, and hides a lot from me. If I could get into her IG, I could expose her to her face, and that would be solid. Would appreciate any advice, thanks all.
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If you already don't trust her, just end it. Ask yourself this, putting aside your feelings for this person, does this person make you happy or miserable?
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why are you torturing yourself by snooping? if you really think she's cheating, either talk to her about it instead of snooping or just end it without getting an answer
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You'll have to pay an actual Private Investigator if you want solid answers and text logs, brochacho.
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I have a problem and im not sure how to put it simply. I have a SO and we have been together for about 3 years now.
Here is what happened today. I asked my partner for sex. And my SO said they were full because they just finished eating. So i lay in bed waiting for half hour on my phone to pass time. Soon after they lay next to me in bed. I start getting handsy and feeling them up hoping that they would be in the mood, but nothing happens. I continue to use my phone until they tell me we should get gas for my car since i have work tomorrow and i really needed it. We head out and get the gas and as we get home and walk back into the apartment, they ask me whats wrong. So i say i want sex. Suddenly they tell me that they are in pain and they just ate and that they cant do it. Making excuses even though all they asked was what was on my mind. I tell them that i dont understand why everytime they asks me whats wrong they make excuses and defends themself when all i did was answer their question. They start telling me that i dont care about how what they are feeling and that i should be reminded that they feel bad and that i should wait for sex. I say i understand that but im just upset about it. They tell me that i should find a different way to deal with myself being upset and that i bottle it up. I tell them that if i could i would but i havent found a way even though feeling a way isnt a crime. This whole time i have to hear how me being upset is hurting them and that i cant wait. Even though i cant help being upset and i am in deed waiting. After that i just start to loose it and i tell them to stop talking im done and i cant do this anymore.
What should i do?
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do you get rejected for sex a lot or what?
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>>17374681
Basically they want me to wait. We hardly have sex and tell me they are either feeling bad or that they need to go to wake up early.
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Sounds like you guys need to talk about why this distance has cropped up, and then break up when you find out the reason.
Anonymous
Do I have Paranoid Personality Disorder? 2016-07-20 04:53:03 Post No.17374633
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Do I have Paranoid Personality Disorder? 2016-07-20 04:53:03 Post No.17374633
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Do I have Paranoid Personality Disorder?
Anonymous
2016-07-20 04:53:03
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I want to get to the root of my issues but I don’t want to be a burden, so hopefully I don’t take up too much time in your I guess, I’ll start from the beginning. I’m not exactly sure when I started to feel anxious about everything, I miss the times where I could just relax and not have these thoughts that I have.
I find it very hard to trust people, and I always think that people are scheming to try and get back at me for something that I’m not sure I did. I find it hard to hold conversations with others, and make friends because I don’t think they are going to like me, like I’m not good enough to be their friend and they deserve someone better.
I’ve done some research, and at first I thought I just had anxiety, but as I dug deeper, I looked at the symptoms of paranoid personality disorder. I worry about everything. I am constantly watching what I say to people for fear of judgment, I always get suspicious of new people because they could have an underlying plan to hurt me even if that may not be the case. I don’t want to self-diagnose myself though.
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>>17374633
Could be. The thing with personality disorders is that they respond very well to treatment, so you could go and get a diagnosis and some CBT and learn how to avoid those bad patterns of thought/behavior.
That's about the best advice I can give you on 4chan. I hope you find answers!
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>>17374633
Sounds more like anxiety to me.
What you've got isn't paranoid personality disorder, that shit's much much worse than what you've described.
Even so, don't go on 4chan asking for information about stuff like this. If it bothers you that much, go see a doctor or psychiatrist not ask a bunch of strangers on the internet.
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Fucked up relationship with parents. How can I recover?
I'll try to be to the point here. I've been battling a heroin, benzo, and alcohol addiction for nearly a year now. Two months ago I moved out of my parent's house because they wanted me to go to rehab, again, but if I went I wouldn't have graduated high school. If I didn't, I couldn't live with my parents. So I moved. This involved me being homeless, hopping places, running from the cops after living in a vacant trailer, living in a shitty place, and using heroin again out of spite. Fast forward 3 months, due to getting fucked by my insurance company I can no longer afford an apartment. I am forced by my I insurer to buy a car or they'll drop the I insurance on my motorcycle (only form of transportation). I need to buy a car, pay for a lawyer, go to court, and just can't afford to live alone now.
Well, my mother just found 200 syringes. 100+ were used from 3 months ago that I just never threw out, but she thinks they were all clean and I intend to use again. She also caught me drinking today. I offered to and did tame a 12 panel drug test for her, and I came up negative for everything but thc, but there's still a major lack of trust and now they want me to go to rehab, but I can't because I'll lose my job that I desperately need. Wtf do I do? Relationship is fucked, financially I'm fucked, just...wtf.
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dude you sound like a mess go to rehab and maybe consider moving in with your parents so they can keep an eye on you. heroin is bad stuff and you'll make excuses to yourself so you can use when in actuality what you need is help. get help before its too late.
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>>17374620
That's exactly how this all started, I moved back in with them 2 days ago and it's already going to shit. I don't know what to do anymore.
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Well shit...
Hey /adv/, I feel stuck.
To be quick. I'm a college student on break for summer right now, and I have absolutely no idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life currently.
I don't know why I'm in college, I'm going to be a junior and I've switched my major three times, only to end up majoring in Philosophy with a Business Minor and Public Speaking Minor because it's just a good general education. But I have NO long term plan. People keep telling me to find an office job, but that doesn't sound appealing to me at all. I don't know what the fuck I want to do, I can't think of anything after college that I would actually like to do. I thought about joining the Marine Corps because I can actually do something with that one day and work my way up, I've thought about becoming a Police officer too, but I'm not sure. How the fuck do I know what I like and want to do when I don't even really know myself?
On top of this I almost on a daily basis now have existential crises and have a hard time coping with the inevitable death that awaits all of us and my depression might be coming back.
What the fuck do I do? Anyone have advice?
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Your university has people whose job it is to help you decide what you want to study and where you want to go with it, I promise you. Go and talk to them.
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>>17374562
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI
Give this a listen op , its okay to not know what you don't want to do, no one has any real idea what they want to do, most people end up changing majors .
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>>17374612
Hey I'm just a random anon, but thank you so much for that link man.
what does it mean when you're always angry and frusterated? This happens to me really often and I take it out on everyone else and often times i'll say things i feel but don't really mean. I also feel like everyone thinks i'm lying or making excuses for my actions, so no one ever takes me seriously or believes me. I do feel really bad about the stuff i do, but i'll do it again then feel shitty about it then do it again this just keeps happening. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be like this but i strongly feel like i can't control it. My sister strongly implied that I was a sociopath because i had "no remorse and I don't learn and keep doing the same things over" but its just that i can't control it and my reactions are so strong that i end up blowing up over the smallest things.
I don't know what to do. I feel bad right now and i really feel like running away. Its stupid, i know but honestly i just feel like i need some space or time to get away from the things that are stressing me out. Which i don't even know what it is honestly, just getting away from my home is a start for me
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probably means ur harboring resentment for something.
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>>17374569
my brother molested me when i was young and everyone looked the other way, so maybe that
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Starting community college around late august and been thinking of my Major already(going down the Psychology route). Any advice for a newcomer to the college/university world? Or for my Major in general?
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Treat it like a 9-5 job. Also you're there to learn, not pick up girls/guys (though that doesn't mean you can't, you should just put your education first)
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Read the fucking book whatever class it is. you would be surprised how many people don't and how much easier it can make it.
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>>17374537
Going into psych get to know your professors, you can usually get your first internship from one of them if you're a good student.
Anonymous
Excuses to miss work? 2016-07-20 04:05:18 Post No.17374531
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Excuses to miss work? 2016-07-20 04:05:18 Post No.17374531
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Guys i need your help.
I am currently sat here with my friend and we are both in the midst of a psychedelic acid trip. My friend is supposed to have work in the next couple of hours and he has already blagged being sick recently.
What can he tell his boss? Be creative please guys. Without your help something something doom
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All you do is call em up and go
eh. i got a bad gut>
no questions asked you will be in the clear.