I'm 28 and would like to hear from other 27-29 year olds what you're up to in your lives, if you work, what your job is, if you're married, if you have kids, what your interests are, how you spend your free time, what you're doing today and tonight.
I'm feeling strangely alienated and cut off from the world and need some kind of input from my peers to get a sense of my place in life right now. Thanks!
28 years old
Bachelor's in economics from Harvard, MBA from Harvard Business School
Investment banker at Goldman Sachs, make $200k base plus bonuses (last year I made $500k total)
Not married, and no kids, but I have a fiancée
I don't have a lot of spare time (I have to do a lot of overtime and I'm expected to go out with my colleagues a lot), but I learn languages (I speak French and Hebrew and I'm learning Mandarin)
>>17389121
27
Still live with parents. I have less than 10k in the bank. 1 year left before I finish my useless bachelor's in Linguistics. I might have a shoulder problem and it's been on my mind more than relationships and my financial situation.
I've spent the past 3/4 years dragging myself from the NEET-dom of my parent's basement to starting my PhD at my field's top school, where I'm paid decently and have made a lot of friends. I have enough money to go traveling on breaks and I have fun though difficult work. Tonight I'm doing nothing, but most days this week I've had people to hang out with and have dinner, drink, whatever.
I haven't had a relationship in 6 years or so, and it was a shitty one, but I'm proud of having turned myself into an independent and far more confident human. That's where my life is. Currently on /adv/ because, like the autist I am at my core, when I started getting some positive signals from a cute woman I turned to the internet. Old habits die hard, but oh well.
>23 yr old male
"When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself"
I had some edibles last night before going to a techno party. It was great, enjoyed some music and my friends' company, but when the edibles really really started to kick in, I just got super introspective about my life choices. In the middle of the dance floor I went from jumping up and down and being loose to silently bobbing my head while I cry internally at not calling my parents enough, not being nicer to xyz, or just thinking of shit from waaaay back when I was a kid.
This always happens to me when I smoke, which isn't often (like once every 2-3 weeks). I remember a couple years ago I smoked while watching family guy with some friends, then when I went to bed a bit later, I was basically crying myself to sleep for not being closer to my sister.
Unrelated (sort of) thing that comes up whenever I reach a state of being 'out of it', whether that's being drunk, high, crossed, or fuck, just super focused on something at work, or just relaxing and getting really into music sober, I feel a sudden 'anxiety' that comes up whenever I go 'too far over the edge'.
[Get zoned out on something -> really enjoy it and get caught up in the moment -> 'shit i'm too far gone i've drifted too far from reality, i need to get back to being a productive human being and be normal'. ]
^ That's the usual thought process.
Am I doing something wrong, or is weed just revealing to myself that I'm just a sad sad person?
>>17389118
Try a different kind of weed. Or just stop. I don't smoke pot a lot because it makes me feel bad about myself.
>>17389118
You probably just have anxiety and repress it. Drugs and alcohol in general tend to show our own extremes more obviously, and what you're describing ("going over the edge") is textbook anxiety. Check if you have anxiety with your doctor.
>>17389118
>"When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself"
This is oversimplification to the point of falsehood. When you smoke, THC crosses the blood-brain barrier and starts minicing anandamide, and generally making large swaths of your brain function differently. That's the real description of what's going on chemically.
Talking about what effects you will *percieve* is shaky at best, because perception is notoriously messy and biased. To be brief, it may be accurate to claim that those are the effects of smoking, but it also may be totally inaccurate.
If you regulaelt have bad trips, it doesn't mean that you're a bad person inside; it just means that THC makes you personally feel like a bad person.
Consider cutting back or quitting. It's an expensive habit that leaves you with nothing to show for it later.
how can you tell if one of your friends hates you?
I have this one person, used to talk all the time about random stuff, and he helped me a lot.
Now he never talks to me, and when he does, he always makes it about himself.
I feel like he hates me now.
Is there an easy way to tell?
Bump. I want to know this too
You fucking ask. jesus. He's your friend rite?
The answers are right in front of you its up to you to have the courage to peer through the veil of how you think things should be and see it for what it is... with that; it could be a few different scenarios depending on how you play your part in the relationship - but based off what you are giving us...
- Hes going through a change and doesn't know how to express himself. what he used to act like with you he doesn't find the wherewithal to be that person anymore, so he feels awkward around you, for fear that who is is now you will end up hating.
-Hes going through a change and who is is becoming doesn't agree with who you are, he may find himself irritated with you but has no more understanding that you do as to why, so he's avoiding the situation entirely - and in his confusion and trying to sort himself out, his thought are likely focused on himself for the time being.
- Hes trying to reflect to you how you treat him. He finds that you often direct conversations towards yourself or that the friendship is merely a tool for your joy and eleveation, as opposed to a genuine companionship. He may have accepted it up until a point and now he feels used and taken advantage of.
- Youre overanalyzing the situation. Nothing is wrong. His mind may be preoccupied with other things, and that's ok. It doesn't mean he hates you.
I'm thinking about proposing to my gf of 18 months. I don't know if I know her well enough, though. I think I love her, but I'm not even sure I know her that well cause she's displaying some strange behavior very different from 6 months ago.
Haven't met her family. About 12 months ago she invited me to meet her mom, but I chickened out cause I didn't know how serious we were going to be. I think she might be a massive slut, just don't have any proof of it... could very well be she's just a very sexual person like me. Could also be she thought I didn't want anything serious... heck I didn't know I wanted anything serious and until 4 months into the relationship I was still going on dates with this other girl, but I stopped because she asked me if I wanted to be serious, and I would have to stop seeing other girls if I wanted to continue with her. She seemed to be a much better person and better in bed, so I chose her. She maybe just doesn't believe me, though, so she's been less than attentive (might be because we're parting ways soon).
So yeah, I take full responsibility for screwing it up. She did try to include me in her life, it was I that failed to accept it and include her in mine. I've been changing that these last couple of months, but it might be too late because she's leaving soon.
I think back to how great she was 6 months ago, and I genuinely feel I could spend the rest of my life with that person... but how do I know she was really like that ad not just trying to impress me?
I'm thinking about doing it because she'll have to leave the country in a couple of months because of her immigration status. I don't really have a fortune, but I'm definitely better off than her, but there could be a prenup for that.
tl;dr - should I propose, should I start looking for other girls, or should I first discuss everything with her and see what she thinks? I thought I could propose to her and then have a candid discussion on what she feels/wants.
If you're not absolutely sure about it, then don't. This is the type of shit you need to be 100% on before proceeding.
Go on vacation with her for a week just the two of you together, to a place where there's nothing to do like Lake Louise or the Hamptons. Then make your decision. Imagine the strangeness of new surroundings, the excitement of being somewhere new, and the stress of being together 24x7 for a week.
>>17389023
>she'll have to leave the country in a couple of months because of her immigration status
don't marry her idiot she was only dating you so she could stay.
Would a relationship between a 20 year old girl and a 36 year old guy work? Is the age gap too large?
Depends on a few things like both your maturity levels, what you guys are wanting out of your lives (careers, family etc...). Also, im just assuming this is meant to be long term.
To put it one way: Four years ago he would be twice her age.
To put it a different way: Why not? Age is just the number of rounds around the sun's path through the Milky Way. It totally depends on the parties involved.
To put it yet another way: In most cases no, but not because he's too old for her, but because she's too young for him.
Didn't you already make a thread about this?
No, it probably won't work out. You're still basically a child and he's a full blown adult
I'm supposed to start university in a while, and I need help deciding what to pick to study. I'm deciding between physics and engineering.
I was always lazy to do math, so when I realised my life would probably end up like shit if I didn't learn math, I decided to take a gap year to try and learn all of high school math, to make up for years of laziness.
I always believed I was inherently bad at it and was scared of it, but after doing it for almost a year and actually focusing and understanding what I was learning, I realised it's not so bad.
I chose to learn math because I wanted to study physics at a university. Physics has started to interest me first when I got into high school. The teacher did most of the job because he made everything sound super interesting.
But here lies the problem, as far as I've read, physicists have a hard time finding a job, at least the average ones, and I doubt I'd become anything special because I'm not really that good at math, and when they do find a job, it's paid way less than for example, an engineering job.
Since I want my job to do something with physics, here comes engineering into play. As far as I understand, it's far easier to get a job as an engineer, they're not so hard on math, and in the end it pays more. Even if I decided to do engineering, I still wouldn't know which one to choose.
I would really like to do physics and learn the theory behind everything and how everything works and interacts, but since I would be studying it in a recently learned foreign language, and I'm not confident in my math ability, and physics is basically applied mathematics, I really don't think this would be a good choice.
I really have trouble deciding, I'm not all that well informed, and I'd like some input for you guys, hopefully you have some info that could help me make the final decision!
Being a just an engineering major can be an option for at least the first year, you can easily switch, just make sure you aren't
1)following stem meme just bc you were told to
2)try to find something that you know there will be a job market for.
Don't listen to people who throw fluff in your direction(i.e. Follow your passion and it will lead to a happy life)
Physics will certainly take longer to establish a career in, but it's not impossible. If all you want is a bachelor's, then don't bother with physics because it will be difficult (not impossible) to find a job as compared with an engineering major. If going on to get a masters/PhD sounds appealing to you, by all means go for it. Also keep in mind that both majors are pretty much the same for the first couple of years, so I wouldn't feel pressured to decide just yet.
>>17388797
Engineers have an equally bad time with jobs. Just major in what you love and intern in your summers. Just cut the crap and go to a temp agency. They'll get you in a position that'll be comfy.
happened two days ago at midnight
>meet qt3.14 on tinder
>talk a bit
>get snapchat
>send snap
>opens 2 hours later
>no reply
Do I follow up with another snap or just let it go?
>>17388744
It was a two hour tinder convo. Let it go.
>>17388752
Thought as much
>>17388752
Just to clarify
Conversation lasted 2 days, but when I sent a snap she opened it to hours later and hasn't replied since
ok, can someone once and for all canonically define what the whole 'be confident' meme is all about? its the typical advice given to everyone regardless of their issue, the only problems are:
1. no one actually explains what this fucking means
2. no one actually explains how to achieve this, whatever it is
so please, someone enlighten us all
seems like as expected no one actually has an answer for this
the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
"we had every confidence in the staff"
synonyms: trust, belief, faith, credence, conviction
"I have little confidence in these figures"
antonyms: skepticism, distrust
•the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
"it is not possible to say with confidence how much of the increase in sea levels is due to melting glaciers"
•a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
"she's brimming with confidence"
synonyms: self-assurance, self-confidence, self-possession, assertiveness
sage
>>17388716
The only way to gain confidence in a thing is to do that thing. The implication is that the first few times one does a thing must always be done without the benefit of full confidence: that comes later.
When someone is telling you to "be confident", what they really mean in the short term is to be brave: to face your fears and do the thing even though you are scared. Confidence will come later, when you have done it a few times and either succeeded or, perhaps even more importantly, failed but survived.
GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.
Ok so I've been seeing a girl for more than a month now. Over the last few days we've not been speaking as much (before it was almost like one non stop conversation with no more than two hours without talking), I asked her a few days ago where I stood with her and she told me that she "loves spending time with me" so we set up another date which she has just cancelled, I believe her reasons though.
Basically I know I'm getting into my own head and want to stop being a little bitch. Any advice?
Reposting:
Ladies, how does a guy respond to a girl who is the touchy-feely type in a way that you're interested in them. A co-worker of mine started talking to me a lot out of the blue after working together for about 6 to 7 months. One time we spoke for a good while and she told me how she was interested in another co-worker before I started working there. Another co-worker of ours found out about this and had sex with him. I guess this left her salty because she told me how she's not interested in going out with anyone. However, after we spoke about that, she started resting her head on my shoulder and would give me looks and it's obvious that she wanted me to look back at her. Weeks later she would have a huge grin on her face when she sees me come in for work and would also go out of her way to hug me (there was a customer she ignored just to hug me). She would also say, "oh my god it's my favorite person!" when she sees me.
(CONT)
Why do chicks take forever to reply, are they trying not to seem too eager?
Where does one even get condoms?
From the gas station?
Online?
How do I know if they'll fit?
What kind brand do I get?
Do you even leave the house?
>>17388554
If I ever need to buy condoms I'll go to the local pharmacy.
>>17388558
Hah, classic /adv/!
Hey /adv/, I'm trying to help a friend. He's in a shit busser job at a restaurant where he makes around 1.8k/mo. They don't follow labor laws either so he doesn't get breaks, is forced to take lunch before he starts his shift, work him full time even though he's part time, and some other shady shit. He's 21 so to him he's taking in some sweet cash but doesn't grasp that he can't survive well on that. On top of that, he wants to go to school for animation. 2D animation, mind you. He says it's his passion but all he can draw is my little pony fanart, he doesn't even try with other stuff. His pony shit isn't even that good, it's about average. He says he really wants to be an animator but last semester he failed out of 4 classes because his shit job didnt listen to his availability and he for some reason prioritized the job over education.
So /adv/ what the fuck can I say to him that might motivate him to get his life on track? He's my best friend and I hate to see him just plateau here because he's making higher than minimum wage at a horrible job. Pic related is where he works, he doesn't even know shit about sports.
>>17388542
>they don't follow labor laws
>they DON'T follow labor laws
>THEY DON'T FOLLOW LABOR LAWS
>THEY
>DON'T
>FOLLOW
>LABOR
>LAWS
EASY FUCKING MONEY THEN
>>17389390
It would be easy money if he wasn't too much of a cuck to do anything about it. He says the money is too good.
I need to meet a guy who can coach me on being a sleazeball.
In my perspective, women and gay guys have white men punked so bad to the point that we HAVE to lie about getting laid just to be accepted into society. All this crap on the internet about couples having sex 3 times a week as the norm is crap, lies and deception. I don't know a single person that is getting laid regularly, not one. Where are all these jerk guys that use and abuse women? I've never met one and I've been searching for a long time.
I want to meet a guy that is good at macking it to chicks, knows his way around strip clubs and knows about Asian massage parlors. I work around lots of engineers and construction workers, and I have yet to hear a credible story about this stuff. You can tell these guys are making crap up when you talk to them, I know because I have spent time and money in strip clubs and gotten nowhere! As far as I can tell, the whole shebang is about drugs and cocaine.
I have skulked around construction workers, engineers, black dudes at Walmart (where I work part time on the weekend), strip clubs, bars, and the gym. I go to the gym every fuckn day - you'd think that's where you'd meet some of these testosterone soaked horny cowboys but no. Not one fuckn scumbag. If I ever get someone to open up about non-pc stuff (and it's usually like pulling teeth to get anyone to use their fucking brain for a deeper conversation than hi... don't even bother talking about politics... this place is full of fucking retards) it's usually about fucking buying/selling/doing cocaine. I dont want to know about fucking cocaine I want to know about paying a chick for a fuckn handjob. But somehow, the world has cut off the notion of sex in preference of fucking cocaine. Dumbasses!
Anyway, so where do I meet a sleazeball? I want to follow him around and see how he gets in at strip clubs and Asian massage parlors and gets one night stand lays at the bar. I want evidence & a lesson
>>17388499
Man whore here.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
There's minimal intimacy in hook ups and shit gets old real fast.
You sound like a bitter virgin though, and more than likely you project that onto everyone you meet.
>>17388516
You're right, I am a bitter virgin.
Yes, I hear from ppl a lot "smile more". I'm not a happy person and dun have much to smile about. Also I dun do drugs. So........
I mean, can I just attain what I want? Not just live in my own fabricated dream world.
That's it huh?
Anyway I call bullshit on all of that meanwhile crap. I absolutely do not believe it can be done.
Sluts. Manwhores = sluts. Hookers = chicks that can manipulate dudes into paying them.
I dun believe it. Bullshit.
Been studying with a girl for about two months now (in the same program of study.) She's been recently giving me all the right signs (texting "nite nite" every night, sending me pictures of herself, touching me everywhere like crazy, responding well to being touched, asking if i have a gf, asking me out to do things with her unrelated to school and coming to things i ask her to unrelated to school, etc.) So I decided to tell her that I like her as more than just a friend, and would like to know if she'd consider dating me. She seemed pretty surprised, but not disinterested. She asked me a few questions and then asked if I'd be willing to wait for an answer after the final on tuesday. I said sure, but only if you'll clearly tell me "yes" or "no" and not just disappear, which she agreed to. I know she's really stressing about this final so I kind of expected an answer like this. That night, I had no "nite nite" text. I sent a text this morning asking if she wanted to get together to study since that's been our usual routine for this last couple weeks and she said she'd stay at home. I just got a text "just wanted to say hi hehe." Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on? I'm like a legit social retard and cannot into any of this, i feel like she's messing with me.
Try to just focus on that final on Tuesday. If you keep thinking about her then your mind is gonna start playing games and making up shit that may not even exist. Do you and when Tuesday comes you'll get your answer.
>>17388496
i've got so much wiggle room for the final it's not even funny, as long as i get above a 28% i'll pass, so it's kind of hard to even want to focus on it.
>>17388788
i should say too, and now she wants to come over in a half hour and study, as we've been doing
Is there a way to forget a day, specifically today thus far? It's only 3pm.
I accidentally stumbled across something that I don't think I can handle, it's definitely already in my top 5 regrets for ever knowing.
Is it possible to forget it?
>>17388306
No.
>>17388325
Are you sure? Well, fuck.
>>17388334
Yes.
I'm a lawyer in Canada, doing mostly family law. Ask me anything. If it's a legal question, you have to tell me what country you're in; if in US what state, or in Canada what province.
Pic unrelated. That's not me, I just think she's hot.
>>17388247
Canada.
Can a single male have a child via surrogacy using a Canadian surrogate and if yes, can the surrogate screw me over by keeping the child and extorting child support from me?
What do you think of a CS major going into law school?
What was it like for you going into law school, and being in it?
What's it like being a lawyer?