I've been seeing this girl for almost 6 months. she is extremely guarded and private, but she outright told me she had a history of leading guys on. Fast forward to last week, we had a fight and she blocked me on IG and almost immediately added the dude she talked to before me. I told her I was done and that she could enjoy being Friends with him. Blocked her everywhere and went no contact. Earlier today I get a text from a strange number and it turned out to be her gay best friend. He pleaded with me to unblock her and just hear what she had to say.
I said what the hell and I unblocked. She spent an hour repenting her actions and deeply regretting what she did. She said she added the dude to piss me off and that honestly got to me. The fact she would purposely try to hurt me like that when she knew I didn't really like the guy. Anyways this issue along with her tendency to be very guarded and secretive have severely damaged my trust in her. She wants to try again and I'm not sure. What do /adv/
Fuck her, she's not emotionally stable and will most likely keep doing the same thing whenever you guys fight.
>>17389902
Yeah anon, I made it clear I'm not going to deal with that shit, and if I decided to try again I won't give her another chance after that.
Nope.
She doesn't care about you.
So i got this guy's # at a club in Central America while on vacation a few months ago. He said he lives in Cali and was travel surfing with friends. Anyway, the phone # he gave me was to an iphone- his american phone. and i cant text it until he gets back to the states. i want to find out if he has any social media accounts to make it easier to reach him but all i have is the number and his first name, any advice????
Whered you guys meet? Ive always wanted to fuck someone during my,travels
Hello /adv/. I've been really wanting to get into writing recently. My grammar and sentence structure is... mediocre to say the least. Does anyone know any good apps or programs to help me improve? I'm not looking to write a masterpiece next week. I would just like to improve myself right now.
>>17389888
Reading is genuinely a very good way to improve vocabulary, spelling and grammar. Find some adult level book recommendations and spend 30+ minutes a day reading. It'll take a little while but the results will be very clear.
>>17389903
Thanks a lot. I'll definitely do that.
>anytime anything bad happens to you, it's 100% your fault and you should have prevented it
>anytime anything good happens to you, it's either dumb luck of benevolence from others and you did nothing to bring it upon yourself
Why does everyone always tell me this is the case? Even when I literally roll dice badly, people act like I did something wrong and unskillful and brought the misfortune upon myself on purpose. It goes double when it's stuff of complete chance that I had no hand in, like computer game random factors or market fluctuations influencing my savings accounts. If I lose 12 bucks on something, it's not TD at fault, it's me. If I miss a 99% shot in XCOM, it's not the game, it's that I personally rolled badly. Why is everything bad that happens taken as something I personally did wrong? And what few times it goes right, why doesn't anyone ever credit me?
Just world theory/hypothesis
Just bullshit. Some people don't like to give credit. If you know something you did badly was by chance and not because you fucked up, then believe yourself and don't listen to anyone who says otherwise. If you fuck up, own up to it, analyze how and why you fucked up, and improve yourself. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise to discredit you.
Pretentious cynic logic 101
Just the two statements to expect before some personal attack.
I know this is a ridiculous question /adv/ but how often is "normal" to go to a bar?
I recently moved to a new city and I want to try becoming a regular at a nearby bar that I like. But I don't know how that works, really. How often do people generally go out to their favorite bar? On TV it seems like they go every single day, but that seems excessive (and expensive).
>>17389876
Well, that show cheers is basically what happens man. Excessive? Yes. Expensive? Idk. You're paying for a social experience.
Test it out, what times work for you? Some people, like on cheers, have friends at those bars. Work-> Bar-> Home. Rinse, repeat.
>>17389876
As little as once a week, maybe less. Tipping well, going around the same day/time, and sitting in the same general area helps. Remember the names of the staff, and do not be a dick, in general or to the staff specifically.
Source: personal experience.
bump for more opinions, and thanks for these ones! Just want to get a couple more.
Hi friends, I'm curious - for you who are just at the 18-20 turning point in your lives, what are you lives looking like? What do you care about most? What do you aspire to be? Biggest regret? Impossible wish? What were your pasts like getting to this point? I'm 18 going into life and I'm wondering what everyone else is going through at this point.
>tfw no fat girlfriend
well
I'm 18 and stopped giving a shit about planning things and college apps and all that I'm just kinda assuming I'll figure it out later. I just want to get out of my home already because it's boring as shit.
>>17389856
I'm 10 years older.
The one thing I wanted from my younger self is to be motivated with a goal.
Whatever path you're on, follow it.
It may suck, but that's OK.
Keep on.
Also, go to frosh events and meet people.
Bonus also, learn how to get shit faced in small company. Like a few close friends or even just alone. Learn how to get black out drunk so when you're at a party, you can have your black out drunk self escort yourself home.
It's like having a backup program.
Is bad that i don't really care if i have friends or a girlfriend?
In high school my counselors and teachers forced me to try and make friends but i just came off as clingy and annoying to other students because it didn't feel natural for me to "make friends" right away.
iv'e been out of high school for a year now and i have no friends besides my parents and i feel ok and relived that i don't have to try to make friends anymore. I'm not opposed to having friends or a girlfriend it's just that i want it to happen naturally and not forced.
pic unrelated
>>17389826
Friends are healthy. Friends help you grow, provide a crutch for you to lean on when you fall, give joy. I would recommend making some, don't go super out of your way for it or break your back for it, but find a hobby and build relationships based off common interests.
Girlfriends aren't as important. If you want one, great. If you don't, great. If you're at a point where your complacent towards the idea, then don't pursue a relationship.
Get some online friends you can play games with if you cant make any in real life.
Read these books. Best thing that ever happened to me. If you want 2 survive this shit world with retards your going to need this.
Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people
Barbara Pease - The Definitive Book of Body Language
Allan Pease - Talk Language
Ogi Ogas - A Billion Wicked Thoughts
My girlfriend told me the other night after she blue balled me that she wasn't feeling sexually attracted to me anymore.
I also missed an opportunity to shoot another film.
now I am depressed, and want to kill my self. Why when I'm depressed do I want to cease to exist so badly?
Is that how everyone experiences depression?
it's also funny that enough people post here talking about suicide that they include a hotline for it. rofl
>>17389815
You gotta experience the lows if you ever wanna get better.
I've been friendzoned pretty painfully aswell before, so I know the feeling. Tbh I cried like a bitch. I'm better with women now, though. Remember, you can get better.
>>17389836
bless your heart.
>self diagnosed depression
you mean you're sad.
So this is my story...
Met an amazing girl through mutual friends ( they said she would be perfect for me) we chatted for six days then we decided to hang out
I met her in person, we walked through the center of my city, talking about movies, philosophy,life and all of this stuff( one of the best days of my life) she told me 3 times : "I wish I had met you before" and "why didn't I meet you before" ?but, she said that she is seeing a guy...
We both left the "date" enchanted by each other and we still talk everyday ( she calls me cute,and that I'm an incredible person and even said that I have a beautiful voice) but never mention the word "friends" to me, but she to one of my friends that if it was in another moment of her life she would totally date me. As you can imagine, I really liked this girl, but I don't know how to deal with this situation...my friends (her friends too) said that I just need to be patient and keep things slowly with her, but it's been really hard to deal with anxiety towards this situation...Help please, I really need another point of view, what should I do ? Should I be patient and invest time or just move on and maybe one something happens, or not ? I really don't know what to do...
Keep talking to her, it might not last for long if she's already seeing other people while she's seeing him. Get an OKcupid or tinder while your confidence is up
>>17389808
You dont give her to much attention.You invest IN YOURSELF and go on with your.If she falls good, if not it wasnt meant to be.
Thank you very much guys !
>Got really depressed
>Break up with girlfriend whom I love because I don't want to bring her down
>Month later I hit lower than rock bottom and get a second wind
>Build myself right back up and feeling more confident than ever
>Trying to get back together with ex
>She's still hurt
>Struggling to get through to her
>Says she wants to move on and that she is happier
>Don't believe she's being sincere because we've been together for years and we broke up still admitting love for each other
>Had a long string of messages other night after month 2 of trying to win her back before she goes back to school
>"All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."
>Fastforward 5 days of no contact
>last message I sent still labeled "delivered"
>We always kept read receipts on even through break up
>Check message string tonight, the read receipt appeared
>It's dated as the same night I sent it to her
Did IOS just fuck up on me and lag for a week, or did she turn off read receipts and then turn them on or something?
Am I overthinking this?
definitely overthinking it.
>>17389806
You're probably right
so you took that plate and threw it onto the ground making it burst into pieces. Did saying sorry repair that plate? No.
do you have learned your lesson now? you dont leave people that mutually love you. now grow a pair and go on with your life or dont, I dont fucking care. you are at fault for that relationship failing.
I feel like a faggot talking about this, but I don't really know where else to go to get some advice.
I feel like I finish too early in bed and it really makes me not want to get with anyone and lowers my self esteem.
I jerk it multiple times a day so I dont think that has anything to do with it. I dont really want to have to get any of that shit that numbs your dick because I feel like it'd ruin everything and I dont wana stop my girl to "put some shit to make my dick numb" on.
>>17389791
God you're a faggot
Jk. Honestly I have the opposite problem, like I CAN'T cum. I'm pretty dominant, and my mind is usually on telling her what to do; having the girl work for ME. In the end I usually don't cum for a long time.
Maybe try being more dominant? It's not something I was born into; I used to be a huge beta. It helped to learn seduction a little, though. I got more 'cocky and funny', and that changed how I viewed women in a way.
normal people don't have porno length sex
>>17389791
Fuck her like you mean it. If you feel you nutted too early, compliment her. Tell her how hot she is and that got you way too excited. Play with her nice bits until you get hard again. Fuck her more.
So I'm for gay people having sex and married and being happy but I'm still grossed out of the thought of two gay guys doing things . Like I'm to the point where I shy away from doing gay things as a joke with a friend. Is this normal?
no one is forcing you to have gay sex, but I have to say if you're refusing to do prostate stimulation while jacking off then you're really missing out because it feels awesome
>>17389774
>I shy away from doing gay things as a joke
Make different jokes. The concept of two men making out is pretty fucking nasty. Participate in humor that doesn't cause you to think about it.
>>17389778
Faggot
>>17389786
explain to me how anything you do to your own body is inherently gay
How do I get better at storytelling?
I get paranoid that I'm rambling too much or people are losing interest, so I rush and it probably becomes even less exciting as a result
>>17389768
give up
or google it idk
more you do something, better you are
>>17389768
Find authors or short storytellers that you enjoy and listen to them when you have free time. Consider what you like about them and work that into your posts and monologues. Also practice delivery in front of mirror, or read the post aloud to yourself and see if it clicks or if it needs something more.
Is this spice/k2 or weed? Honestly, this adv. Not expecting any trolling, I need actually help. Someone fill me in? I'm honestly not sure. There were some nugs in the bag, but this kind kinda looks like weed.. But not really, at the same time.
looks like oregano, man
Doesn't look like weed, MAYBE it's leaf. Stay the fuck away from synthetics like K2 and spice, it's not worth it.
I was molested and beaten a lot as a kid so I have a low tolerance for being touched and kissed.
Gf was raped as a kid so she's very touchy and affectionate cus she needs to know someone wants and cares for her in more than a sexual way.
I'ts been a year I've tried tolerating it and we've talked about it it and she's agreed to try holding off but it clearly still upsets her when I pull away from the constant smothering kisses and shit.
Wat do?
This problem is more than skin-deep, OP. You need to see a professional and lay on them the full burden of your past. Otherwise you'll never see full recovery in any way, shape, or form.
Relevant advice other than go elsewhere would be for you to tell your girlfriend how much you care for her, write her poems, communicate on a constant basis that she means so much to you. Possibility would be don't spend lots of time in one sitting cuddling and kissing, but do it often.
>>17389746
Next time she kisses you, curl in the fetal position and screech loudly. She'll stop.
>>17389775
I go to therapy but progress is slow and we're focusing on the effects of trauma like dissociation which is my biggest issue so there isn't really time to discuss other things. I do all of those things but she still needs more it's like a vacuum.
>>17389782
Made me laugh lmao