File: tumblr_oa71cvEP4O1qmqcwjo1_540.jpg (89KB, 540x720px) Image search:
[Google]
89KB, 540x720px
19 year old male here.
I've been in exactly four relationships since high school, and I feel like I am just not cut out for providing for a woman but at the same time I don't want to be alone. It's kind of a catch-22: each of my relationships started out fairly standard and I was always really optimistic and I thought, this is going to be the one, this one is going to work. But ultimately I would get to feeling detached and my girlfriend would call it quits, say let's just be friends, and that would be that(except for the last relationship, where I was the one who put the kibosh on it all).
I don't know if it's because I'm scared of affection(whether it's giving it or showing it) or if I have some kind of strange subconscious desire to sabotage my own life that always ends up putting an end to everything good I have. For the record, I've always felt pretty confident about myself but I have some deep-seated anxieties that hound me even to this day, and I can't help but wonder if maybe there is some part of me that hates myself and thinks that I'm not worthy of having somebody who loves me.
TL;DR I think I don't know how to love anybody. Somebody help.
2 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
The fuck are you talking about? You're 19. It's all in your head
What the fuck do people who don't cut do when they're distressed? My life is currently being dictated by coping mechanism purists and I'm not allowed.
22 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
4chan is an 18+ site. Please leave.
>>
>>17390029
When I'm distressed, I'll get alone in my car and scream at the top of my lungs. I tell myself how much of a loser I am for stealing that girl's sandwich. I should have expected to be yelled at and called a freak. But I didn't expect that. I never expect that.
>>
>>17390029
Alcohol is pretty common.
File: IMG-20160723-WA0005.jpg (2MB, 2340x4160px) Image search:
[Google]
2MB, 2340x4160px
Hey /adv/, feeling hopeless, i'm a student who works shifts of 11 hours five days per week and i feel my soul is dying a little more each day.
I feel real depressed as i haven't been able to rest at all this whole year because of school and this job. (I took this job in january and i can't quit because money is necessary).
How can i feel less worthless?
8 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
How the fuck do you attend class working 11 hours a day?
>>
I work from 6:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and i start off class from 5:40 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.
>>
>>17390020
thats what i wondered
My friend of 20 years asked me to come to his Gambling Anonymous meeting today. I joined him. It was a little awkward, but whatever, it was good to see him making progress. He is also dealing with alcohol issues and is planning on stopping that soon, possibly with rehab, or AA.
I'm not a gambler, but I'm an alcoholic, with no intention of quitting. What's my responsibility to him? Should I be keeping him away from gambling places? Should I not drink around him? By being an alcoholic, should I not be around him at all as he tries to recover?
His life is in shambles and he's mad that no one is helping him. He and I were in a two year falling out, and I only recently reconciled with him, so it's hard for me to support him, but I'm doing my best.
2 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17390011
If you want to be a good friend, and he genuinely wants to be better, then just be there for him. Whether it's going to his meetings now and then, or consciously avoiding going to places that might tempt him until he has reach a point where he has control over his addictions, the best thing you can do is support him.
A lot of people say that you cannot beat addiction alone, and I think that is true for the most part. So you have to figure out if a little bit of disruption in your life is worth a friend gettting healthy.
File: 11111111111.jpg (126KB, 1511x850px) Image search:
[Google]
126KB, 1511x850px
Can you tell the difference between these two pictures? because my wife can't. She's furious with me for leaving chocolate milk residue in the sink after making a milkshake, even though I washed out the blender so I'm sure I attempted to clean the sink like I usually do.
She doesn't seem to care that I walk into the kitchen 2-3 times a day to pic related and have to change it to the next picture. She doesn't notice any difference between these two pictures and claims both would be classified as a clean and tidy house. She also finds it odd that people prefer kitchen cabinets closed rather than left open after using them.
So idk, is there a difference?
5 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
File: 222222222222.jpg (133KB, 1511x850px) Image search:
[Google]
133KB, 1511x850px
>>
>>17390004
This is the kind of stuff I would expect from Reddit
>>
Leaving chocolate milk in the sink is absolutely disgusting. And all she's done is left a bit of clutter
>He works full time and has his own place
>If we moved in together I'd do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, chores, errands and whatever else needed doing
>Pretty much his personal maid
>He wants me to get a job before we move in together despite putting away $1,500 a month in savings
Is that fair?
169 Posts / 4 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17389994
No.
>>
>>17389994
No, it's not fair. If he expects you to work on top of do all of those other things, he's a fucking prick and you'd be a fool to get into that situation.
A serious relationship where two partners live together needs to be equal. Equal work across the board. That means if you both work outside of the home, you both split the in-home chores evenly. If you work 10 hours a week and he works 40 or more, you do more of the in-home chores to make up for it.
You figure out a fair balance that works for the two of you. But what he proposed is not even remotely fair.
>>
He wants you to work AND do literally all the housework? Absolute bullshit.
My girlfriend was raped. Should I buy her flowers or what?
7 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Dump her, dude. You don't deserve that kind of unfaithfulness in your life.
>>
>>17389984
amen
>>
>>17389984
kek
File: 1446094834423.png (491KB, 499x597px) Image search:
[Google]
491KB, 499x597px
Is it possible for man to be incompatible with all women?
6 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
yes
unless your rich
>>
Have you ever heard of the homosex?
>>
>>17390128
I'm not attracted to men.
I'm not sure whether to leave my friend or not /adv/
>Last month best friend (C) tells me he needs to borrow money
>Tell him that I can help him, how much does he need
>C says $500
>Tell him that I'm broke too
>He asks me to take out a loan at my bank and he'll pay me back
>For some reason, I say okay, as long as he pays me back
>Give it too him
>All of this time has gone by, and he still hasn't paid me
>Keep asking for it and he says that he will
>Two months ago he "accidentally" used my card and charged $100
>Tell him wtf and he says that he fucked and he'll pay me
>Today
>Still hasn't paid me anything
>I call him everyday asking for it
>I'm out of a job right now and desperately need it
>He keeps telling me he will
>He tells me he had to be hospitalized(He's got mental problems) and has to pay his hospital bills
>Tell him he needs to pay me absolutely by this week
I fully plan on never talking to him again once he pays me, but I feel like he never will. He owes me a total of $565.
One on hand, I just want to never talk to him again and block him now. But I can't let him bitch me out for that much money. Is it worth it to just drop it and never speak to him again?
What the fuck do I do?
16 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Why didn't you tell him to make the loan himself?
You can kiss that money goodbye.
Also, he's not a friend.
>>
>>17389975
He said he couldn't because his credit is too low.
I'm such a fucking idiot, why the fuck did I make that loan. I thought I could trust him.
I learned my lesson the hard way.
Is t better to just cut my losses and sever ties with him? Or should I keep pressing for what he owes me?
What a lousy degenerate fuck. I would pay someone back if they had the decency to help me out. But not everyone thinks like me I suppose.
>>
>>17389962
Call him and verbally threaten him. Tell him he also owes you and extra $100, and if he doesn't have it in a week, you'll come after him. Like make sure he knows you're pissed and are out for revenge if he doesn't make it right.
File: download (1).jpg (5KB, 225x225px) Image search:
[Google]
5KB, 225x225px
How do i end my addiction with porn? I hate watching it but i just get sudden bursts of "i need to watch some shit"
Anyone went throigh something similar?
4 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>>17389953
It's hard friend.
Best way is to preoccupy yourself, but you will have to actively make the decision to not look at porn. Spend time with friends, go outside, read more, find a hobby. Also is good to be accountable with someone, tell them you're trying to get off porn and be honest and real with them if/when you fail. Good positive and negative motivation. Also make sure they don't struggle with or watch pornography while you're leaning on them to help get you off pornography.
>>
>>17389967
thanks will try, might just buy a ton of books and read all them on downtime
>>
>>17389953
I'm strugglin with this too, but I've made progress.
>used to watch every day
>eventually escalated to cuck shit
>decided to stop
>get off porn completely for like 2 months
>watch again
>now I'm watching every few days
>cuck shit is now a turnoff tho
File: Marie_Antoinette_1767.jpg (1MB, 948x1200px) Image search:
[Google]
1MB, 948x1200px
My best friend (a girl) just admitted that she's in love with me. I don't see her as more than a friend, but I also really don't want to lose her. Is cutting contact the only way? Could I at least tell her why?
7 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
File: watamote-03-large-04.jpg (77KB, 1280x720px) Image search:
[Google]
77KB, 1280x720px
No, there are an infinite number of ways to let someone down easy.
>>
>>17389938
there is no reason to cut contact with her. just tell her how you feel, and be nice about it. being upfront is the best way to handle this. things may be awkward for a bit but no reason to stop being friends.
>>
>>17389945
She's loved me for years. I always kind of knew, but I was still my flirty self with her anyways. Knowing me, I would keep her hopes up even though there was no chance for her. I'm a really messed up person.
File: self-help-2[1].jpg (123KB, 500x369px) Image search:
[Google]
![self-help-2[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/isQsPNN.jpg "self-help-2[1]")
123KB, 500x369px
I'm interested in self-improvement/self-help and am kind of wondering what are some good subjects to look into, as well as any books people might have read.
Is there anything that has been particularly impactful to you during a rough time in your life?
So far stress management, dating and attraction, and confidence have come to mind.
>Bonus points if I can get an audio book version for my commute
4 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
File: Screenshot_2016-07-24-22-38-24_kindlephoto-161995698.jpg (167KB, 800x1280px) Image search:
[Google]
167KB, 800x1280px
>>17389934
These two books. Read them twice and they also have audio book version. I've managed to not get the l little things brother me. Plus I don't worry as much before thanks to these books. But I believe it's a negative an a positive tbqh.
>>
File: {77BFD1C4-D64E-4A77-9A59-F68BCDABE2C8}Img400[1].jpg (23KB, 300x400px) Image search:
[Google]
![{77BFD1C4-D64E-4A77-9A59-F68BCDABE2C8}Img400[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rZe9Vad.jpg "{77BFD1C4-D64E-4A77-9A59-F68BCDABE2C8}Img400[1]")
23KB, 300x400px
>>
>>17389934
Think and Grow Rich
How to win Friends and Inf people, Carnegie stuff
7 Habits of Highly effective people
Three basic starters
>dating
I once got How to be 3% man by Corey Wayne for free on an audiobook free trial. I though it was good. Only self-help book on dating I've looked into
Anonymous
can't accept music appreciation 2016-07-25 05:32:21 Post No.17389931
[Report] Image search: [Google]
can't accept music appreciation 2016-07-25 05:32:21 Post No.17389931
[Report] Image search: [Google]
File: 0lrWLgT.gif (2MB, 320x287px) Image search:
[Google]
2MB, 320x287px
can't accept music appreciation
Anonymous
2016-07-25 05:32:21
Post No. 17389931
[Report]
[View this topic]
I have two papers due this Wednesday in a short summer class on music appreciation. However I can't bring myself to finish these essays over what happened to me 13 years ago.
>be me 13
> wanted to play the flute
> family begins to fall apart soon before a divorce later in the summer.
> fail music class, flute was $500+
> father of the house beat me bloody with a windows 95 computer cord until I stopped breathing.
I didn't think what happened would affect my ability to cope with music history 13 years after the divorce. I can't help it that I blamed myself for my family's failure, music controls my life and I can never look it in the face.
5 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
You need to give music a new association. Right now you're still linking it to the traumatic event.
If you have someone you like or love, or someone whom you admire and are into music, try associating it with them, a fresh, new meaning.
>>
I'm sorry btw about what happened, forgot to mention. Hope you'll solve it properly through therapy later on.
>>
>>17389957
Thank you... class will end later this week though. I wont let it get to me :/
File: tumblr_o3j9gxiP3V1tdpeqjo1_1280.jpg (920KB, 720x1019px) Image search:
[Google]
920KB, 720x1019px
This is weird and medical but Google doesn't turn up anything useful and I don't know where to ask
My scrotum hurts. It's not the testes but the scrotum itself, specifically the bottom area of it. It's a weird pain thats hard to describe. It feels raw I guess and aches when I (or my pants) it. It feels sort of bruised I guessed but also not really. The skin hurts just a little but most of the pain is inside the sack like just one the other side of the testicles.
This has been going on since Thursday and I'm starting to get concerned but I don't want to ass with a doctor if this is nornal and can just be waited off
10 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
does doing anything in particular make the pain better or worse? Like does it only start to hurt when you jack off?
>>
Go see a doctor.
It could be torsion and that means become a Hitler
>>
>>17389925
Jacking off does not nake it better or worse
it hurts when it rubs against my thigh or pants and stops when I move them so they aren't rubbing against anything
File: 20160710_172049.jpg (4MB, 5312x2988px) Image search:
[Google]
4MB, 5312x2988px
So long story short. She told she was raped 2 years ago, orally. She was getting a ride home from a person whom she used to talk to for a while in school, and trusted him to drive her back. Instead he orally raped her. She told me who he was. It was devastating to hear but I also want revenge. She didn't like that because according to her she moved on from it, and cane to terms that it happened and there's nothing she can do about it now. I can find out where the guy lives but I am afraid that will make her dislike me since she told me she would be very upset if I did anything at this point.
This story happened before we met. She told me the details which were bad enough to hear but also gave me anger at the guy since I have friends who know him.
According to her and others he failed out of university and ended up having mental problems. Apparently he does not have any friends anymore and is basically up to nothing living with his parents. While she was obviously distraught by the event she has moved on very well from it and it does not affect our relationship.
It's just that I wish I could at least see him, but I know I will probably end up hurting him or worse. I really want to but I also want to respect her wishes. I am at a conundrum.
23 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
>revenge
Two wrongs don't make a right.
>>
how the fuck do you get orally raped, like how is that even possible
>>
>>17389930
He wolf whistled at her and made a lot of problematic comments.