Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4446. page

You asked a girl out over facebook? :/

>>17398809
This. Bad move. Easier to ignore you that way. Need to be direct about it. Ignoring isn't always bad.. just might not know what to say or something. I've been there before. I'll just derp out and go quiet.
Although sounds like she just didn't want to chat so she didn't read anyones messages. I do that sometimes. How close are you? Do you talk often?

>>17398828
Via internet was my only option, i no longer get to see her in person anymore.

We're not really close at all, we have talked and flirted around for a little bit but nothing major.

I didnt plan on doing it over fb, i just ran out of options :/

>>17398797
If you work with her, just talk to her when you're at work. And if you relationship gets to that level, take it there.

>>17398797
I wouldn't consider it creepy, but look at how many friends she has first. Some people only add those they know very well on facebook.
Also make sure she knows who you are because she might not remember your name and decline friend invite.

>>17398803
yes, that would be confidence destroying

Sit there go through it and say. You are to torn to talk

>>17398776
You pay your respects to the dead and offer your condolences to the survivors. You share good memories with everyone there. Sometimes you have to be careful about this around the survivors, so you have to play that one by ear. If you don't want to talk to anyone, don't. No one is forcing you to, but you should at least do the first 2 things I mentioned.

You're not really expected to do anything. Just sit around, introduce yourself and talk to the poeple a bit. At all the wakes I've been to as a kid, the adults would play cards or dominos but that's my family. Find out what there is to do.

Pretty much. Not sure if you're also plagued by bouts of depression, but I am and it causes me to be highly apathetic; as a result, I can't be assed to do anything.

Even if you somehow get reasons to do things (relationship, marriage, kid) still it's a horrid pain to get anything done, let alone well.

But all you need to do is at least get started. Just get the fuck up, at least start the fucking thing, whatever it is. However far you get, give yourself a pat in the back for getting that far.
The positive self encouragement might push you to get back to it, maybe even push yourself to do a bit better.

If it's so horrid that even the above advice is impossible, you could always try seeing a doctor.
Good luck, anon.

>17398769
Goals are for losers. Positive reaffirmation will get you everywhere.

Break everything down to steps as small as possible, affirm yourself after everyone, win.

>>17398855
Oh yeah. This too. Impossible shit is doable when you break it down to the absolute simplest steps.

No one will care about you until you care about yourself. Get a fucking hobby and get out of the house.

>>17398758
Bruh, I mean this. Start taking care of yourself.

Like, it's a long road to recovery, I know I'm currently on it. But, oh my god it's life changing at every stepping stone.

I used to not brush my teeth, be nearing 300 pounds, never got laid, yadda yadda.

Now, I'm still trying to put the funds together to get my teeth fixed. I've been losing weight at about 10 pounds a month, I'm down to 225 right now, I also work and make a bit of decent money. And I have a girlfriend to speak of.

Just start working on it man, slowly but surely, you'll get yourself there. and, you'll blend in with society. Not be seen as an outcast, be more socially accepted by your peers, and women alike.

You'll go from being one of the unattractive office members noone wants to fuck, to one of the mildly attractive office members that can at least fuck the awkward new hire that doesn't last as long.

>>17398772
I will try this. Thanks for the thoughtful post I will remember this.

q1 answer is easy: give no indicators of attraction during the meeting. If anyone questions you about it later, just say some bullshit like, "Yeah, I don't know, we just didn't connect."

q2: at the end of the first day, ask for her number. "Hey let me get your number so we can go out some time." she'll either shut it down or give you her # (either way, you don't look shitty). Then just text her after a few days and tell her to meet you somewhere. easy.

Shameless self-bump

>>17398736
A lot of therapists won't take on bpds.
Those that do usually say stuff like
> the first essential step is to want not to be a rage monster
And will mention how few are able to do that.
Take from this whatever conclusion you want.

>>17398905
I mean HOW THE FUCK am i even supossed to do that?
I am aggressive to my surroundings, my family and friends. I know i am an asshole but i don't feel like i want to change that. the only thing that bothers me is the inability of forming a healthy relationship, and it's the only thing that makes me want to start a therapy.

Today when i hand in the evidence they insist that it is my fault and that i was disrespectful because i told them that i hope this was the last time it would happen and to please address these issues in time. They just shushed me and told me that in its time they would handle it.

I am pretty sure they will meet with me today or sometime this week. What do you guys think i should do? What should i say? What if they dont have a meeting with me? What kind of evidence should i ask for so i know they fixed my record?

Thanks in advance and sorry for spelling errors, im using mobile.

Go over their heads. Why do you even have to ask? Sure you may get fired but use a co woeker as a reference. Forr your next job.

>>17399437
Ive been looking for a job for months. Even different areas in the bank but no call. I cant afford to lose my job right now since im also a student.

>>17398728
Give her space. Girls take a long time to actually get over shit. Just because she said she'll stop bringing it up doesn't mean she's done with it. She can't just turn off the tide of emotions she has felt and bottled up over the last month.

So leave her alone. One of two things will happen": either she will get lonely and reach out to you, when her anger turns to sadness and loneliness, or she'll never get over it and she never contacts you and you can file it away as "broken up."

You're not making the situation better by pestering her. This is something some bitchy chicks do. She's a bad communicator and lets her emotions run her life. Nothing you can do about the way SHE is. Just the way you are. And that means shrugging her off for now and concentrating on yourself and your problems. She's not helping nor does she want to, so forget it. Work on your amnesia, however it is that you might do that. Lean on other people.

>>17398728
Get another girl

>>17398740
You're right in everything, however, I'd understand her if they were huge, important fights, but they weren't. In fact, most of the fights were about NOTHING. I mean, literally nothing. And out of 10 times we fought, 8 was because she cancelled plans in the same day they were supposed to happen or she was rude to me and I reacted. Still I apologized for everything from the bottom of my heart because I love her and don't want to be like that.

I feel like she's being petty, which in turn makes me ressent HER. And her overly cold behaviour creates an impulse in me to be overly clingy, which I hate.

>>17398705
... can't you fuck her without having a relationship with her?

>>17398711
Yeah sure but I don't feel like I'm looking for that.
It's part of the issue

>>17398694
Well what I normally do is do that anyway, then when it's about to result in your death or bankruptcy, do just enough big boy work to scrape by. Maybe I'm an example of why it's better to resist and I'll lose in the long run, but no matter how much I stew on it I can't make myself care.

>>17398817
Yeah, that's exactly what i try to avoid. I was just hoping that it will get better with time and not use all my willpower over and over

>>17398670

What are your beliefs?

>>17398670
>I have a weird interpretation of it
Post so we can la- I mean, advise you on the matter.

I guess I think of the religion very symbolically. Like I think Jesus was a human who was close to God but I don't think he was literally God's son, and I don't think he himself is God either. And I don't think Mary was literally a virgin but I understand why people would want to distance Jesus' birth from normal biological processes to isolate him as a Holy being. I think his sacrifice for our sins was not a literal absolution for mankind but more of a testament to the purity of his willingness to do such a thing for humanity, which speaks towards our capabilities as people to try to do what we can to help each other. I think there is a lot of value in his teachings that have been bastardized by the corruption of organized religion but since I still more or less believe in Him and the same God I feel like christianity is still relevant to my interests.
Baptism and communion are all symbolic to me and I don't take anything in the bible literally either and I haven't read enough of it yet to know which gospels I believe in
Basically I see the religion as a guiding light rather than a doctrine I guess.
I suppose I'm a heretic but it's what feels right to me

>>17398661
>old age
how old are you?

>in b4 23

>>17398688
I'm 34 now.

>>17398884
complain alot in your mind. You're gonna trigger yourself this way.

Its a tight balance. You need to consider what you like, not just what others may find interesting. Becoming a slave to the opinion of others is no way to live life.

Consider instead leaving your comfort zone. Go to a gym and sign up to clubs there, jog, join a book club, cooking lessons. Something. You can do all these things while pursuing your genuine interests on the side. Balance is the key.

Also Orks 4 life.

by jumping off a very tall building

>>17398656
No thanks.

Convince one or the other that an LDR is a waste of time and usually doesn't last.
Or accuse one of cheating which is very risky.