How to become the funniest person ever? Well, at least reasonably funny.
16 Posts / 1 Images
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>>17428024
Have a shit life and use humor as a facade.
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>>17428056
Tru dat
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look for the humor in everything. throw in some piggy talk and a nice smile, everyone will think you're the shit. dont overdo the piggy talk tho it grosses some people out (not really but prissy preppy people like to go EW because theyre good christians who do nothing bad.)
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>Me. A slightly shy guy in my twenties.
>After a few years of serious sport and fitness I'm fitter than ever.
>Today I've been in a random public place.
>There was a customer facing worker. A girl around my age, cute eyes, tanned.
>She gave me a charming look and smile. I answered with another smile.
>This lasted for 5-6 seconds.
>After this I saw her twice again, always with a smile.
>I left this place, but after 30 minutes I returned just to talk to her.
>"Hi, give me just a minute. I don't usually do this, but... what's your name?"
>She told me her name. Kept smiling.
>"Well, I have to go but, could you give me your number?"
>"Oh, I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend."
>...
What I'm doing wrong?
27 Posts / 3 Images
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>>17427970
it seems to me you're asking out girls who have boyfriends. but its only one example. so its hard to say.
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>>17427989
Oh, dear...
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>What I'm doing wrong?
Not asking enough girls out? A pretty large percentage of people in their 20s are in relationships, so you'd have to get pretty lucky to find a single one on your first try.
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Please help me get over a crush.
I've had feelings for her for a while, we went together for a coffee a couple of times at the start of the year, chatted a bit but I noticed that she was usually pretty formal with me and spoke like she didn't see me as a man, and never initiated contact either. So I put two and two together, realized it wasn't gonna happen and stepped back.
Now last month I found out that she and one of my mates started dating, with her asking him out, and everything came rushing back, I felt really upset about the situation for a while and angry at myself.
Now I've been keeping myself busy, went back to the gym, keep telling myself that I wasn't in the running anyway, became more productive, chatted a bit with other girls, deleted her number and minimized contact with the both of them as much as I can etc. but I still find that throughout the day I'll just start thinking about her and feel sad about the whole situation, obsessing over various retarded "what-if" scenarios. I try to correct my thoughts quickly but they just end up coming back.
Is there any surefire ways or psychological tricks I can use to get over her quicker?
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I can relate anon. I was infatuated with a girl who really wasn't right for me and I was conscious of it. Even then, I felt like the only way to kill those feelings were to make her mine so I could stop wanting what I couldn't have. As time passes those feelings will die down. You've been doing the right things so far and at least your honest with yourself.
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not really.
the crush i have now is a batshit insane slut. i really used to like her until i found out how dirty she is. one night she was with 4 different guys but i still like her.
fucking crazy woman and her cuteness. would date openly.
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>>17427983
>>17428053
So just keep doing what I'm doing and give myself more time then?
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Who needs to pay here?
Three friends at a party. They're all drunk - one fairly drunk, another wasted, another black out and needing to be carried. The least drunk one calls an Uber. Asks to be taken home first, then gets the ride for the others. The wasted dude just takes the blacked out dude to his place.
They find out later (photographic proof given) that the blacked out dude had puked in the Uber on the way out - most of it landed on the outside, but a small portion landed on the floor in the car. The dude who called it was charged $150. None of them had any recollection of this - the least drunk dude was already home, the wasted dude didn't remember, and the blacked out dude was obviously out of it.
To me, it seems fairly obvious that the dude who puked needs to pay. Apparently, some say otherwise. That the blacked out dude had no control of the situation - ie he was kept in the car too long (should have been taken home first) , and did not choose to uber himself (could have crashed at the hosts' house), and thus shouldn't have to pay or only have to pay half.
Thoughts?
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Split equally.
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>>17427959
They only have the info of the guy originally calling, uber doesn't know pukemaster.
Have pukemaster give 150 to original caller and have him pay the bill that way
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>>17427981
Yes. The question was how, if at all, they should split the charge.
Anonymous
help needed, lost gay guy 2016-08-04 20:02:04 Post No.17427929
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help needed, lost gay guy 2016-08-04 20:02:04 Post No.17427929
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help needed, lost gay guy
Anonymous
2016-08-04 20:02:04
Post No. 17427929
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Anons, I need help.
I'm M 25 and gay. I live in a big, cool city full of gays and am told that I'm handsome and get hit on. I get told that I'm smart and great for deep conversations and have good grades. But for years now I am miserable, even though I am in therapy. I have never had a boyfriend and my sex life is so bad that I started doing escort sutff. Including BDSM in groups and it went up to 13 young guys orgies. But still, I am never capable of coming. Only when I masturbate. I am blocked, maybe it is internalized homophobia, self hate. As a teen I cut myself and still sometimes do it. I take meds, duloxetine antidepressants. I have sexual drive, they don't block it. It's in my head. I have problems trusting people and my best friends are the ones from high school I rarely see. I haven't finished my degree in years, only now it's slowly happening. I feel ridiculous, like a baby. I often spend the day sleeping, whenever I can. I have semester break and haven't left the house for 4 days after traveling and seeing my old friends and barely eat anything. I don't know what to do. I have anxieties and self-hate and meds and therapy don't help.
How does this sound? What can I do? What would you do? Any feedback?
8 Posts / 1 Images
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if thereapy doesn't work, the only suggestions are finding other therapists, are focusing on yourself.
have you considered not focusing on such extreme sexual activities? i do a lot of those things as well (Save for the escorting) but its not for everyone
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>>17427962
yes I just want normal dates, but I am too scared that I will be blocked and can't come. I just need some care, hugs and kisses for now maybe. But I can't write that in dating profiles haha
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>>17427976
you literally can. you can also just not go to the sex. ask a guy on a date, then drop him off. or if he tries to make a move say 'lets wait'.
you may feel like you're using him, but is he not using you for sex? just do what makes you happy anon, stop worrriny about 'OH I CANT WRITE THAT ON A PROFILE'
i consistently go to the gay club, pick up a guy, and then refuse to have sex with him. and i like sex. A LOT. but after a beer or two its not enjoyable for me. i even warn them that we wont be having sex but yeah.
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XXI century fucking blows.
I graduated in a technical field at one of the best colleges in my country - I don't even have a job in my field, because when I was 19 I did not know that our engineering besides IT is dead.
I speak pretty good english - nobody would hire me, because everybody speaks english these days. Now they need fucking german.
I wanna cry so bad. I mean, I did everything right, I went to school and got very good grades, went to technical college, one of the best in my country, got a degree. And it doesn't mean anything. People who were shitting on school and grades are now making better money than I am as plumbers, miners etc. I feel like I've been cheated.
I'll be 24 next month. I wish I could just die, but I'd feel sorry for my parents and gf. She's the only one that I have and I care about. Besides her, I have no friends, only you, 4chan.
F M L
14 Posts / 2 Images
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4chan loves you too anon :)
Where are you from?
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>>17427928
>id kill myself but im too fucking noble
fuck you
>shes the only one that i have and i care about
thats your problem. dump her and learn to care about something other than disney fairytales
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>>17427931
Poland
>>17427932
there's nothing noble in living this fucking life, I realized that 5 years of my college aint worth shit
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How to make people happy?
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>>17427919
discover what would make them happy. not what they say would make them happy. then act upon that.
trial and error, essentially.
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Submitting yourself to them and their needs 100%. Gotta know that people don't give a shit about you as long as they are getting what they want.
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>>17427930
not true. needs are not happiness and submission does not lead to that.
Anonymous
girls respond to me like im being a "nice guy" loser 2016-08-04 19:56:35 Post No.17427909
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girls respond to me like im being a "nice guy" loser 2016-08-04 19:56:35 Post No.17427909
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girls respond to me like im being a "nice guy" loser
Anonymous
2016-08-04 19:56:35
Post No. 17427909
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I dont want to be a passive aggressive "nice guy" but it fucking feels like I am but I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING THAT MAKES ME LIKE THAT
I WANT TO CHANGE AND I READ ALL THIS SHIT ABOUT WHAT A "NICE GUY" IS AND IM NOT ANY OF IT EXCEPT I CAN FUCKING TELL WHEN A GIRL STOPS BEING ATTRACTED TO ME EARLY IN THE DATE JUST BECAUSE IM FUCKING TALKING TO HER IN SOME WAY THAT I DONT KNOW SEEMS TO BE LIKE THAT
the only connection I can make is that the rapport always dies or sucks
obviously its my fault because its been the same for like 5 dates but I dont know what im doing wrong like I honestly dont I think about it so much like the only thing I think I could do would be to try to have rapport even less but I did that last date and we just FUCKING WALKED IN SILENCE
10 Posts / 2 Images
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>>17427909
you are juding yourself in relation to an ENTIRE GENDER literally 50% of the worlds population.
jesus, even gay guys dont have it as easy as you think they should. I'm hot but i can go on grindr, talk to 20 dudes, and only two will bother responding to me.
the point im trying to make is that nothing you do to yourself will make you treated the same way UNIVERSALLY among women.
stop judging yourself in relation to an entire gender and instead judge yourself in relation to the girls who matter.
of those five girls, you are upset that the dates went south but did you ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THEM? and if not, why are you mad that they didnt ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.
you are so obsessed with finding a girl you stopped caring about which girl it was.
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>>17427909
You're probably not a "nice guy", more likely that you're just boring as fuck.
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charming your way into a woman's heart or pants takes years of practice
sounds like you care too much about what girls think about you. trying to be someone you think they want.girls pick up on that pretty quickly and then whatever attraction was there is gone.
it's like playing a musical instrument, your performance needs to feel effortless and playful
sounds like you're sweating bullets the whole time
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How to get urine stains out of cotton underpants?
I don't have borax, ammonia, hydrogen peroxide.
I do have vinegar, shampoo, baking soda, bleach and dish soap.
Tried checking Google but some of the guides seem to just be a confused amalgamation of other guides.
6 Posts / 1 Images
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if theyre white, bleach em up son
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>>17427830
Billy Mays here!
Nigga need to you OxyClean.
Buy 8 tubs.
Do it, faggot.
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>>17427841
heather grey sadly.
>>17427842
if i had that kind of money i'd be buying new underpants, with all due respect mr. maymay.
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how many failed dates do most people go on before finding an actual relationship?
ive been on 10 dates with 10 different girls in the past year and never had a girlfriend
6 Posts / 1 Images
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33
I've started dating girls anywhere from immediately after ending one relationship to a year or two after
Your location, your vibes, your looks, your status, your job, everything will be a factor
Currently I am living in a place with hairy upper middle class 'hippie' girls living on daddy's dime, but I have a lot of tattoos and and dress more 50s style. My dating life has gone down since moving here from a big city because I don't relate to the people here culturally.
So your question isn't really an easy one to answer, but more something to consider when you think 'when will it happen'.
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>>17427823
there is no number that 'most' people get. if you flip a coin there is a 50/50 chance of getting heads or tails. yet studies show consistently that if you flip it 100 times, heads tends to win. closer to 70% of the time. no scientific reason.
but humans arent even coins. instead of flipping a coin its more like trying to mix random ingredients with your one ingreident and seeing how it comes out.
on top of that you are also cooking them entirely different ways each time.
there really is no metaphor, analogy, or example that shows how random relationships truly are.
the problem is that you arej ust looking to say you are in a relationship, but arent actually investing in the people you meet.
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>>17427823
Every relationship i had, the girl chose me.
Every girl i asked out because i liked her turned me down eventually, only the ones who showed interest in me before i showed interest in them went for the resltionship.. (Still had to ask them out and shit, so its not like they picked up me, but it was pretty clear from the beginning that they were interested)
I have a GF for like 2 months and we never made out or had sex or something like that and I have no desire to
How will she react if she figures out(she probably did already) that I am asexual?
Was it an important thing to mention when we started dating?
Should I just try even though I am not into it?
Some suggestions please I don't want to lose her
12 Posts / 1 Images
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Talk to her about this.
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do you masturbate?
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>>17427774
Have you ever had sex?
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Hey /adv/!
I want to build a PC for scientific/engineering related computations, and a bit of gaming(I don't want to play the newest games on max graphics with 120 FPS, so it's not really important, but I want to play games too.).
I'm using Autodesk Inventor for modeling, and COMSOL Multiphysics for finite element computations(mostly microfluidics and MEMS), and some of my own C++ programs(Monte Carlo simulations, etc...), and I'm currently learning CUDA. My budget is about 1000$. Here it is what I've build so far:
CPU: INTEL Core i7-6700 3.40GHz (344 $)
VGA: GAINWARD 3422-BLISS GTX960 4GB GDDR5 (225 $)
Motherboard: ASROCK Z170A-X1 (107 $)
RAM: HyperX 32GB FURY DDR4 2133MHz CL14 KIT (168 $)
HDD: SEAGATE Barracuda 1TB 7200rpm 64MB SATA3 (53 $)
Power supply: CHIEFTEC iARENA series GPC-700S (57 $)
Any suggerstion?
8 Posts / 1 Images
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>>17427770
Just make sure everything is compatible through pcpartpicker, and make sure your power supply is at least gold rated.
Otherwise looks good!
t. Computational mathematician
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>>17427770
Ireally don't think you should buy a GTX 9xx. The equivalent cards from the 10xx series give similar performance to two 9xx in SLi for about 10% more money.
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>>17427770
you have a gaming rig there pal, if you want it more for engineering type computations you'd be better off with a xeon, ecc ram, and a quadro 2000k or better. Its way more expensive though. I bet somone here will say how an i7 will destroy any xeon, which is true but the xeon is way more stable. something you will be grateful for when you notice your system doesn't crash as often when doing said computations. P.S. I'm an mech engineer and have been building my pc's and my works pc's for the last 7-8 years.
Anonymous
Should I stay away from younger guys in general? 2016-08-04 19:08:14 Post No.17427753
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Should I stay away from younger guys in general? 2016-08-04 19:08:14 Post No.17427753
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Should I stay away from younger guys in general?
Anonymous
2016-08-04 19:08:14
Post No. 17427753
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>21yo girl
>mild daddy issues, sub
>met younger guy online didn't know he was younger at first, seemed mature for his age
>started dating him
>ended up being a really shallow guy
>told me that he wouldn't have have never gave me the time of day if I wasn't pretty and was exactly his type
>found out he was cheating on me
>didn't confront him because I couldn't prove it (promised the person that showed me screenshots that I wouldn't send them to anyone)
>stopped talking to him, he ended up blocking me
>told mutual friends I was a slut
>unblocked me and wanted to work things out
>I let him off easy, he reblocked me when I rejected him
>still acts like the victim and still tells people I'm a slut
>been talking to this really sweet smart also cute guy who also happens to be younger
>falling for him
Help?
28 Posts / 4 Images
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Well... HOW much younger?
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I don't see the problem unless you're dating an immature 15 year old.
This is like asking whether you should date someone if they're black or not. There are differences but they're not all the same.
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19yo
Femanon here.
I'm 18 and over the last couple years i've had this insatiable sex drive. Like i think about fucking all the time, i think about how "big" guys that i pass on the street are, i think about what a girl's tits/nipples look like, and i want to fuck aaaalllll the time. I'm ALWAYS horny. I've only had sex three times in my life and i don't act off these urges but it's SO hard not. I feel like i literally need to bite a fucking bullet every time i pass up the chance to fuck or really want to fuck somebody. Please help. Is there a way to supress this better? Is this just a phase? It's such a hindrance.
To the trolls, don't bother calling me a slut, it won't offend me, it'll only probably make me hornier.
122 Posts / 17 Images
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just a phase
t. literally the same as you but male
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>>17427717
Teenage hormones. It will settle with time.
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>>17427717
why don't you just go get laid? Seems pretty straightforward
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Sluts/whores of /adv/ I need your advice.
I have a baby daughter and I don't want her to become like one of you.
What advise can you give a father so that the possibility of his daughter becoming a slut/whore are minimal?
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>>17427700
Be supportive and spend time with her so she doesn't have to look for a father-figure elsewhere. But when she reaches the age where she gets interested in guys don't moralize her or judge her, because that will make her rebel. Also, maintaining a healthy relationship between yourself and your partner will set a good example that she will probably want to follow.
Those are the three points where my parents fucked up and why made me slut out in my late-teens/twenties.
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>>17427700
You literally can't.
Unless you keep her away from her friends and homeschool her, she'll pretty much turn into a slut like every other female.
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>>17427715
>every female is a slut
back to /r9k/