Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4317. page

>>17437379

A sounds tempting but also a recipe for future problems
>your manager
>will lead to drama

idk, are you fine with B? and nevermind she's related to your friend.

Don't shit where you eat.

>>17437399
A and I are both managers, and neither of us is likely to be fired or promoted any time soon.

Some added backstory: B and I had been seeing each other a lot because we both play Pokemon Go and live in same part of town.

But on Friday I got drunk and went home from a party with A, Who I thought was really hot when I first started at work but I generally avoid dating people I work with.

B was initially a tinder girl but we really hit it of.

Perfect world I would casually sleep with A, Live with C and date B.

>>17437212
Well if 50 shades of Grey can become a bestseller, I don't see why this concept is improbable. That said, what you are discussing is negative reinforcement and on paper it works, the issue is that it only helps if the person genuinely wants to improve or the helper is literally screaming down their throat like those American weight shows.

I think /lit/ may be better for story advice however. I personally would suggest to tone down the sexual tones. Psychological manipulation and help is a very real thing, but through the medium you are suggesting which sounds smutty, I would suggest a more toned down and interesting concept. It sounds too sensational and off for a mainstream audience and unless you're going out there for the shock factor, perhaps take a different more heartwarming angle.

Sexuality is very hard to do skillfully, either in film or literature. Its very hard to get right and done poorly or too graphically, can be rather cringe. In my view, your concept somewhat OTT to the point of absurdity. The guy starts as malicious and would imply undertones of an abusive character, then turns out to be alright?

If you're in the US, that might do well in the small erotica area but I would suggest first and foremost to read over the current marketed books there or completely re-evaluate your story in regards to the BDSM relationship. This could, with a fair bit of tweaking, be a good concept of someone helping another, except with dark undertones. Tearing apart the element if discreetness with outright smut, well, there is a reason most giggle at erotica. 50 Shades I feel was a very fortunate exception.

>>17437212

I think it's defenitely impropable, but if you write it with the right amount of subtlety and maybe even some black humor (think Roald Dahl) it might become pretty catchy. But the amount of detail you describe in your synopsis makes me think you might prefer writing drama or romance. In that case I think the story might end up as a bit of an unbelieveable chicklit.

These are just some of my speculation of course!

OP here.

>I personally would suggest to tone down the sexual tones

Absolutely. BDSM is just a background for sketching out a relationship

>perhaps take a different more heartwarming angle
I can come up with some ideas, but I'd love to hear some from you too

>If you're in the US, that might do well in the small erotica area but
I'm not an english speaker, I'm from Europe. And the point of the story would be relationships with almost no smuttyness

>This could, with a fair bit of tweaking, be a good concept of someone helping another, except with dark undertones

This is what I'm going for.

I can mention I have won a few short story contests so far and I have some hopes for this to come out ok. I'm mostly troubled by this question: Could a broken person even be pushed toward challenges and positive things and be changed enough with this?

thanks for all answers

Also wouldn't the cops have came and asked the person the next day instead of waiting 4 months for someone to ask about the stolen shit?

>>17437168
>Someone I know stole something from a friend

I think that's more of a concern. Stop hanging around fucking losers.
More importantly, stop trying to protect petty thieves.
Man up, tell the thief to own up and give the shit back.

>>17437168
>because the cops charge you money to investigate crimes and do fingerprints.
that's a lie

>He also said there's a camera in his house that takes pictures every 5 seconds
could be true but if it's taking pictures every 5 seconds then whatever storage he's using has probably overwritten it. Unless he saved it, which at that point is photographic evidence so he doesn't need to go through this charade

Your friend is full of shit.

I just wanna get over her and meet someone new...

>>17437144
what do you actually require from us on /adv/ ?

Time heals all wounds. Meet a girl in a bar and get fucked.

Wake up the next day and keep living.

fast forward about 2 years - i started making drama over random stuff. i dont know why - i was scared of something, i was stressed from work and was taking it out on her.
it wasn't really nice how i did it either - i was basically switching between 2 personalities, one that was normal person and one that was unreasonable dumbfuck that was completely out of touch with reality. i could get into that mode in an instant, then after a short while (max few hours, maybe a day) i switched back.
and all of this was just too much for her, and she decided we should break contact. tried to fix it, talk it out, after a few days it all blew up again.

now it's few days since we last talked. she told me to leave her alone, and to not contact her untill i really change, nothing half assed. something definitely longer than 1 month, up to one year i guess. i know me and i think 3-4 months will be more or less enough, more if i really require it.

2/3

for now i figured out that i really just need to let it all go, take some time for myself to calm down and stop thinking about it most of the time. give up on this friendship for now, then just start acting/thinking like i want to act/think untill it becomes a habit. i know i probably wont be able to drastically change my personality, so i just want to be able to control myself and be able to think before i act or say something. be still in control in these situations where i used to blow up, just enough to realize i just wanted to say or do something stupid.

i dont know if i can save this friendship, if yes then it's great, if no i still want to change, because i'm just annoyed with myself. and it surely will help me with any future friendships or relationships.
so /adv/, how do i change? how do i see i have changed? how do i talk to her in the future and show her i have changed? any advice or some insight to help me see this situation in diffirent light would be appreciated.
3/3

So you have feelings for her?

Just cut it off, it's not worth it. Unless it's viable to visit them in person semi-regularly a serious online based relationship is not worth it.

I've been through this crap and come out better for it, but I've got a friend who's fucked his life away because he can't let go of people on the the other side of the planet.

>>17437127
Cuz she's a crazy bitch.

Leave her. You aren't happy, are you?

>>17437127
Because you provide her with money I presume.

>>17437145
I love her, I couldn't imagine what life would be without her, I've broken up with her and felt so sad and so did she

>>17437147
Yes I do, what does that have todo with it, not all the time but sometimes

Sometimes you can do all you can and it won't click the other person. There's nothing you can do.

She was saying how great you were and how shit she was to make you feel shitty, then you say she was perfect yadda yadda yadda and she gets emotional validation.
She doesn't want to get back together even though you're great? No biggie, find a girl that will respect and actually enjoy your goodness.
Now often after a breakup with this story (you're perfect but we can't date) you'll get offered to stay friends, unless you don't have feelings anymore go for it, otherwise don't, she will just use you for emotional validation and to bitch about the guys who fuck her and don't give her the time of day. Now if you say no you'll get emotionally blackmailed that you're not really nice, but just live through it.
Now, I don't wanna be malicious as well, but the "you're a great guy but I'm not feeling it", meant that you were too lenient and too good, you actually have to put your foot down and be more dominant. Women want a leading bf, not a serving one. I'm the second type most of the time and I'm trying to change that, not for the girls but for myself because as long as you're the second type your well being is gonna depend on her being happy at nearly all costs and you won't want that trust me.

>>17437115
Yeah, I'm starting to give up.
>>17437115
I was definitely not dominant at all. How do I be assertive without seeming selfish?

im in a similar situation like you and all you can do is to just wait till you can finally move out and then cut them off completely from your life

>>17437070
i'm actually about to get kicked out, they told me they were sending me off to college (because if i remained as only a high school graduate my parent's friends would look at them ridiculously lol) but all of a sudden they decided to kick me out.

and i'm a legal adult so the government can't do anything either.

i really wanted to go to college though

help

yr friend is crazy

Are you female or male? This is important because if you're female, she might think that you're tired of listening to her complain about him and assume you don't actually care about her happiness. Also nobody likes being told what to do directly like that. You can only be there when shit goes bad and offer support.

If male then she might think you're just trying to get into her pants.

No suomen kieli nyt on aika törkeetä kun sitä miettii.

I think it's about the way you think, try to find the unsaid rules under your language, when can you say this or that, when you can use this word instead of this. Try to define the rules of your language, it might work.

>>17437042
I don't understand what you mean.

What exactly did she do that upset you OP?

Just say sorry and give her hugs and kisses

She wants to play a little broken. Probably your gf wants to show her love and affection

>buy food on credit card
>pay bill on time
>repeat
>???
>profit

>>17436990
Is it really that easy? I buy groceries every week, should I just charge it to my credit card and pay off the bill in full every month?

>>17436986
Pretty much what >>17436990 said.
Use your card, and make sure to pay it off. Even if you can't pay it off completely in, say, a month, pay more than the minimum required payments. Even that builds credit.
Got bills? Have them automatically paid using your card, then pay it off.
Just use your card instead of cash, and use that cash to pay off the debt.

>>17436914
Have a chat with him. Ask him how it's going with his wife and if they are sorting shit out.
If you only get vague responses then it might be time to chime in on your feelings about him living on your couch.
Explain that you've been happy to help him out but he needs to make a decision and either find a place of his own (with a bedroom) or go back to his home.

Theres a difference between helping someone who is actively trying to help themselves, and being taken advantage of.

cucked

>>17436914
How do you get kicked out of a house you're paying for?

>>17436891
>Money

Buy a hooker

Put benis in bagina

Insert and move

>>17436857
It takes 2 weeks to form a habbit. If you can do just 2 weeks, your in the clear

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jayvant.liferpgmissions&hl=en

>>17436858
How do I do 2 weeks when my motivation lasts more like 2 days

>>17436863
The apps do nothing for me. I've tried all the decent looking ones and there's always something about them that just doesn't work for me and I lose interest.