Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4215. page

Rule #1 of any successful relationship: You need to be happy yourself.

Understandable that you care about the other person's happiness too, but if you prioritise their happiness over your own, eventually youre going to resent her and you're going to be miserable.

You shouldn't feel like you have a responsibility and obligation for her happiness, she can only achieve that herself, you can't create it for her.

So this isn't a sustainable relationship at all, and if you don't end it sooner rather than later, it's only going to get harder for the both of you when it eventually does it (and it will).

My current girlfriend was in a similar situation to you, her ex suffered depression and became totally dependent on her, even threatening suicide if she left, and she stayed with him for two years despite seeing no future just because she felt obligated. But she realised she can't be held responsible for his life and happiness, and made the right decision for herself (and he didn't kill himself because of it).

Tl;dr: do what is right by you before what is right by her, and follow Rule #1 of relationships.

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>>17462724
i was in the same situation. i cared about her, i just wasn't madly in love with her.
when i finally broke up with her (after 7 years) she said, "Fine. We can break up and I won't kill myself, as long as you get me pregnant first."
i told her to eat shit, of course.
three weeks later she's dead.

here's my advise to you;
if i could go back in time and do it differently, i wouldn't.

>pic related

>>17462756
Shit man that's fucked up.
Dunno what else you could've done though.

Yeah, go and do it. But you'll really need a Master's degree for a good job.

>>17462716
Id say dont do it, its super boring, the only people i know who study it are people who wanted to do it all their lives

I did archaeology once. It was intensely boring and tedious. I'd imagine geology would be similar.

Ask your mate how he enjoys sloppy seconds, and tell him a bunch of filthy things you did with her, even if you have to make it up.

I would question if he is really a friend worth keeping to be honest..

>>17462687
Do people really fucking care if friends date their ex ? She doesn't fucking love you anymore and is not yours you misogynistic fuck. Deal with it

I thought she was coming back to me this time, but she's been keeping us very distant. We've been hanging out, and talking. And all she's been telling me all week is how much she loves him, how close they've grown together over the past week or so. That they're already talking about marriage and children, and every time she tries to leave him, he guilt's the fuck out of her with things like that. She loves him, but she says he's bad for her. That she can't trust him, and all they do is fight. But I have this sense of dread every fucking day that she's going to go back to him, because it feels like a big possibility. Even though they've been broken up for a week now. She spent the night with me like 2 nights ago. She fucked me again, but when I try talking to her about it, she avoids the subject like the plague, but I crave her so bad it's not healthy. I know she was probably just using me to feel better, but I don't care. Sex with her is like a fucking drug, oh my god the sounds she makes, the way she pushes her hips against mine. it's exhilarating. She's on the fence about going back to him now. She says she's not fucking him too, but I sincerely doubt that. As soon as he found out that she and I were talking again, he flipped shit, and told her "me or him", and she chose being my friend, over being with him. Which I think is a good sign, but still... help?

>>17462632
>>17462638


Very easy. Stop fucking girls, and fuck women.

>>17462624
You don't go to school for jobs, you go to schools for degrees. You don't get degrees for jobs, you get degrees to prove you have knowledge in a particular field. Having knowledge in a particular field does not get you a job, your ability to demonstrate that you can perform a job gets you a job, and that, does not come from a degree.

When will people learn this? Our academia is destroying people.

>>17462628
I went to school for what I enjoyed (niche field of STEM) because people said do what you love. I did that, found out by the time I finished the degree it most certainly wasn't what I thought it was, and now I'm stuck. So whatever.

If you're so smart, why don't you come up with something that could bring you money based on your abilities ? Name things you're good at.

>>17462596
>I'm forced to constantly think about childhood
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLjelIPg3ys
give monkey mind job

>>17462606
give monkey mind job?

>>17462695
>>>17462606
>give monkey mind job?
Give your monkey-mind a job. Get a hobby.

Your idle thoughts arent productive. I'm dealing with a similar problem. My mother enjoys/enjoyed manipulating and fucking with her kids' minds in her spare time, including continuous verbal lashings on a daily basis (including blaming her personal short comings on our/my birth), followed by completely upbeat periods where nothing was wrong.

When I took my first trip, I felt like I had woken up for the first time, and now I can't get out of my head all the personality traits I developed as a result. Every day I notice something new and know exactly why it is. Not that I've been unaware she was bad, it just comes to the surface.

The reality, though, is that that was in the past and you can't look at these things for too long. It only does so much good.

My monkey mind job is my server and laptop, and learning programming. And my acid inspired interest in physics and math.

Also don't smoke anymore. Acid makes you see exactly how much of a hallucinogen weed is. You'll think in the same manner as you do on acid every time, now. It's very common.

>>17462585
Professor writing here:

Look around you at the new school and you'll see a lot of people your age or older. College isn't just for 18 year olds any more, and chances are that at least 25% will be older. The college might even have a special office or dean for older students.

It is true that older students can be less immediately visible, because they live off campus and/or study part time. Check out the student union snack bar in the gap between afternoon and evening classes.

>>17462902
Thanks. I'm sure there will be some older students, but I'm not sure where to find them. I don't think I'm sociable enough to just go to the student union and talk to people I don't know.

Try a poker club.

most girls think they want this but they don't.

friendship / companionship is mutual, most girls don't want to be catered to 24/7.

unless you're a sugar daddy or a cuck.

>>17462530
Yes, it is certainly not mainstream. Relationships work best when each person can share their own experience/environment/passions with one another, and not so much when one person amalgamates with another. Good relationships require a level of independence.

>>17462548
are you a guy or a gal?

And quite frankly, I wouldn't mind being either. But I draw the line at being a sissy. Definitely wouldn't do that, and I am definitely not gay.

Some one please just tell me it will all be okay please

You're lucky you didn't get shot.

I'm afraid you are fucked. The best thing you can do at this moment is to try and quit cocaine, and earn enough money to give it back. That is, if they will take it. as for the quitting part so this will not occur in the future, rely on family and maybe anyone who is willing to help. This is probably going to be the best you can do. hope you make it anon. keep us updated.

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>>17462522
Search for therapists in your area, find one you can drive to easily so it doesn't feel like a trek to get to him or her

Scroll down the list and find one that says they take insurance. There's like Psychology Today listings on some site, idk

Search engine is somewhat helpful, but how can I figure out which of these people are any good?

its gonna smell for atleast 24 hours prob, weed clears out much quicker, i suggest getting high instead of fagged

Nope.

Just go outside for god's sake.

There's a reason why there's a $500 cleaning fee in hotels for when you smoke in your room. People can smell that shit forever.

>if you must smoke in the shower

You're over 18?

55 hours a week on top of school? That's criminal. America is fucked.

>>17462520

So you think i should quit?

My anxious self tells me that there are guys there who even lasted a year, but i can't, i don't see my friends or my Gf anymore because i'm too tired to go out on weekends.

People need a work-life balance. Working yourself to an early grave is not ideal. Ask them if you can cut down on hours before you decide to quit.

For sweat, anti antiperspirant, deodorant, and/or colonge/perfume.

For your cum...Uhhh. I have no idea. Maybe change your diet? Do you eat a lot of some really strange food?

Eat less onions

>>17462607
>tfw ate a large amount of fake parmesan over a week
>sweat
>shirt smells like puke

>>17462450

Can't tell from such a low-resolution picture. My guess would be it's a knock-off since you're asking.

>big ass "gold" watch
>white trash

It was a thing, or still is. Only complete tools would wear this Folex HSN trash.

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Looks like your typical overpriced fashion watch.

>>17462656
>looks up Michael Kors as an example of overpriced
Is Olive Garden overpriced bourgeois cuisine too?

>>17462442

Acting class.

>>17462442
Real life

>>17462442

you simply refine it.